gee sypha! how come castlevania™ let you have two boyfriends??!
gee sypha! how come castlevania™ let you have two boyfriends??!
I have legit been so fucking anxious the last week I hate everything
I need someone to fuck me til I can't think
every single time i hyperfixate on smth i feel two emotions: validation bc wow i can’t be neutrotypical if i did not notice six hours had passed and my stomach is threatening to cramp bc hunger. and the second annoyance bc then i’ll do things like be so hyperfocused on what im doing i don’t notice that the sun is coming up bc i wrecked my sleep schedule. again.
okay, i lied yesterday, i actually do have them zhaozai drawing ideas. is this who i am now? please help, lmao.
// 7th... OC... go away...
when you find out your long weekend isn’t a long weekend and you have to come in to work on thursday and friday regardless of students being there 🤡🤡🤡
Life update; I got ENSTARS back :) note, I’m rank 900s so like GKAKVKA not a newbie but... god what even is this app??? Wow I’m so lost LMAO
Tw; cursing but GKSKGKAL SRSLY WHAT EVEN IS THIS “up”DATE!?? Update usually means “improvement” doesn’t it?? Fixing bugs and stuff??? orz
I’m doing this for Hajime. His Lim gacha starts tomorrow. -3-
because im literally trash when it comes to them😭
Andrew has trouble with contact
it’s no surprise given his history, but aside from certain things he knows he has control over, its not something he’s comfortable with
with Neil, like with most things, it’s different
he lets Neil touch him
he feels safe knowing Neil would never try and take something Andrew wasn't willing to give
but usually, this didn't extend beyond sex
aside from it, they didn't really make too much contact except Andrew shoving Neil’s face away when Neil gets that dopey look like Andrew means something and his heart starts to flutter
the longer their relationship goes on though, things start to shift a little
when Andrew has bad days, Neil feels helpless because he can't do anything about it
one day, though, when Neil says he’s going to leave Andrew alone for a little while to let him have his space, Andrew croaks out a single “Stay”
it surprises Neil because he knows how much Andrew likes and needs his space on days like these, but he closes the door and sits on Kevin’s bed across the room
Andrew doesn't say anything else, but he gives Neil a look that tells him to start talking, so he does
Neil rambles about the upperclassmen, and the little pain in the ass freshman
he talks about his courses and upcoming assignments and drones about how awful his teachers are the homework assignments due at the end of the week
it goes like that from then on
if Andrew has a bad day, Neil will say “Stay? Yes or no?” Andrew will shake his head or nod and Neil will shut the door and lay on Kevin’s bed, talking about anything, nothing, and everything in-between
one day a little while later, Andrew has a nightmare and startles awake
he doesn't make a sound but Neil senses it anyway (he always does) and looks up at him
Andrews stares back and for a few minutes, neither of them move, but then Andrew whispers “come”
Neil doesn’t ask, but there’s a tell-tale furrow to his brow as he climbs up, careful to keep his distance at the other side of the bed
for some reason, it isn’t enough though
Andrew wants to have the luxury of being able to have someone close, to know that the nightmare was no longer his reality and that Neil was his reality now but he can’t and he hates it because just the thought of having a body touching his makes him want to vomit
but a thought hits him and he looks at Neil and places his palm against the bed
yes or no?
Neil places his hand down next to Andrew’s, careful not to touch, never assuming (which Andrew is grateful for even though he’d never say it)
Andrew raises his hand and links their pinkies together
he tenses, waiting for himself to feel the disgust rolling off like it usually does when someone touches him but it doesn't come, and it actually feels a little grounding
His shoulders relax and he refuses to meet Neil’s eye because he knows exactly what he’s going to see and he doesn't think he can handle it right now
instead, all Andrew says is talk, and Neil does, useless ramblings whispered and lost in the dark of the room and it helps Andrew
his thoughts from the nightmare are still there, but they aren’t as overwhelming and the more Neil talks the more they burrow away and all the while he keeps their pinkies linked
when Andrew finally tells him to get off, Neil squeezes their pinkies together and climbs back down and doesn't say anything
from then on, when Andrew has nightmares and bad days, he pats the side of the bed and links their pinkies and Neil talks and Andrew gets a little better day by day
then one day on the couch, they’re sitting while Neil watches old exy tapes for the team they’re playing next week
his hand is resting between them
yes or no?
Andrew snags his pinkie and closes his eyes, resting his head against the back of the couch
he can practically feel Neil’s expression, a small curve to his lip, eyes sparkling
Andrew opens one eye and Neil is in fact staring
using his other hand he pushes his face forward
watch your stupid exy games, junkie
when Kevin comes in later, they still don't let go
(and if Kevin notices, that’s no one else’s business)
it just becomes a thing, they they’re sitting together they’ll take each other’s pinkies and just lightly squeeze whenever they need to get up
the other foxes start to take notice and think it’s absolutely adorable
when the upperclassmen walk in for the first time and see, Neil and Andrew can hear grumbling and money crinkling as a bet ends
then one day, Andrew takes Neil’s whole hand
it’s not a tight grip, easy to slide out of but Neil tightens his grip and they sit there
when Neil has to leave for his next class, he squeezes like usual but also brings it up to press a gentle kiss to the the back of his hand
Neil looks up at Andrew while he does it to make sure its okay and Andrew is bright red and spends a solid five minutes on the couch forcing his heart rate to slow after Neil leaves
Aaron happens to walk in right as Neil leaves to see Andrew tomato red and Aaron immediately turns around mumbling “I don't even want to know”
slowly it builds and they rest their feet in each others laps while reading or studying
forehead and nose kisses when they’re alone and just wandering around
head scratches while laying together in bed
when either leaves, they link pinkies together, like a silent promise the other will come back before pressing a kiss to the other’s knuckles
on bad days Andrew still cant handle contact but more often than not, they’ll link pinkies
the touch is welcomed and it’s only associated with Neil and he knows knows he’s safe
just maybe, things might work out alright
@pcrdiseseekers asked: 🌙 : seeing your muse outside alone during nighttime (shin @ toma)
Send my muse an emoji and they will react to ...
Toma had been coming home from a late shift at Meido no Hitsuji, tired and looking forward to sleep once he got back home. Although, he probably wouldn’t get much thinking about work he owed for his classes.
Maybe he’ll quit his job temporarily for the sake of his sanity.
Although, he wasn’t expecting Shin of all people to be out at this time of night. Wouldn’t his mom get worried? His apartment wasn’t too far though so maybe he planned on paying him a visit?
REGARDLESS, he was about to get a scolding from his ‘big brother’.
‘’Hey, hey, Shin. What on earth are you doing out at this time?’’
‘‘Shouldn’t you be at home studying?’‘
hysterical the way ppl just expect you to talk abt someone that hurt you and not get hurt and upset abt it like h!/&/&/&/'sksiso/9//@9- okay-!-???
Sorry what’d you say? I took the blue pill after the first sentence
Im rereading sakusa fic n see many mistakes 😦
I’m thinking of trying my hand at traditional art today which is something I haven’t done in about a year so we’ll see how this goes 👀👀