Rush - Tom Hiddleston (Chapter 14)
Summary: Chapter 14 of Rush - Tom Hiddleston (check warnings please)
here is my masterlist
< Chapter 13
Chapter 15 (04.12.2021) >
Pairings: Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader, a few original characters.
Warnings: mentions being drugged, non consensual touching & kissing, retelling of suffered childhood abuse & domestic abuse, mentions of s-exual abuse, making out mentioned, little fluff at the end. Please do not read if any of these are triggers for you, please contact helplines if you or someone you know requires help or is a victim of abuse, you are valid, you are heard, you are loved, cherished, wanted and needed by those around you. if you need someone to speak to my messages are always open. It was difficult writing this chapter, with these themes.
Cassandra prided herself to be a resourceful woman. Always knowing when to retract, run, save herself and maybe someone who was worthy of her affections.
When she saw Y/N on Tom’s bed, on the side that was hers, from their own nights, anger and betrayal bubbled over. To think she would spare Y/N now? Not a single breath of hers would go without pain.
“What are you thinking about?” Lee asked as they were followed by Taillight, around the kitchen.
“Nothing.” She was skeptical about their friendship with Y/N, it was known it stemmed from the past. Lee was not someone Cassandra would take a bullet for, Pierce and Tom however were such people.
“Oh, you expect me to believe that?” They had a teasing tone. Cassandra gave a short shrug.
“Well Tom’s returning with food.” Pierce declared as she entered the kitchen.
They heard the garage door whir open.
“I hope it is pizza.” Pierce grumbled, opening the bottle of Pinot.
“Didn’t we have Pizza two days ago?” Cassandra straightened up as Tom entered, plastering on a smile for him.
“That was crappy.” She declared
“Hey! That was authentic pizza.” they piped up in argument.
“Are you both still debating pizza?” Tom set down the bags from their mutually agreed Chinese restaurant.
“They are.” Cassandra affirmed, rolling her eyes, as Tom shook his head in disappointment.
It had been a week since, her plan to have Y/N gone from their lives had worked. She was not here, Miranda had her and Cassandra would sing from the rooftops, if it would not incriminate her for being the insider informing Miranda of her disobedience and lies.
The last straw had been the Raconteuse’s attempt to drive a wedge between her team.
“Where are you lost?” Pierce asked her this time.
“Oh, just relishing the silence without certain people intervening into our lives.” She shrugged feigning innocence.
“What do you mean?” Tom asked, passing her a box of the take out.
“Oh, you know how our lives were turned upside down because of Raconteuse, she’s gone now, so we have no worries.” She took a bite of her food.
“You’re right, I couldn’t tolerate the whining.” Tom added, before beginning to eat.
“I wonder what became of her…” Pierce trailed off.
“If Miranda Micheal has her we can only imagine.” Cassandra scowled as the topic shifted to her again, couldn’t they just move on?
“In other news I’ve tracked down the man who conned me and my diamonds.” Cassandra felt giddy with excitement, four diamonds potentially being returned to her.
“You mean Miranda’s.” Lee reminded, her jaw clenched in response.
“Yes, so I can return them and the man can be thrown at her feet and Tom’s name can be cleared.” Cassandra smiled at Tom.
He only paid attention to his food, begging his mind to not go there. Y/N was not here to get help him through it and no one here but Lee knew about why it was a painful process.
Cassandra’s hand grabbed Tom’s, he looked at her, “I really am sorry you took the heat for that.” She sounded sincere.
Tom would almost believe her. He just kept quiet it seemed easier to not respond.
“So, what should we do to celebrate our new found freedom from whining?” Pierce asked the group, drinking her second glass to completion.
“I say we go to a club.” Lee suggested, looking for feedback.
“Yes!” Cassandra cheered, “I have just the outfit.” She smiled, maybe she would be able to have Tom to herself.
The three looked at Tom, who nodded in agreement, it would feel good to let loose.
The four found themselves, an hour later in between strangers, music too loud to hear their own thoughts.
Lee and Pierce lost themselves in each other on the dance floor.
Tom nursed a drink at the bar, Cassandra sat on the stool next to him.
“What is on your brooding mind?” She asked voice raised over the music.
Tom laughed responding, “I can’t think over the music.”
“Ugh, Tom, please have something other than bourbon.” She made a disgusted expression, gesturing with her hand to the bartender to bring forth four shots.
“You know I like my drinks neat.” He defended.
“What is neater than a shot? And well, you need to have some fun.” She told him off.
The bartender placed the shots in front of them, winking at Cassandra, who smiled in response.
Tom pursed his lips, “Flirting with the bartender?”
“Jealous?” She raised an eyebrow.
“Just making an observation.” He finished his bourbon.
Cassandra pushed two shot glasses towards him,
“Now don’t leave a girl hanging.” She pouted.
“Just these two.” He warned, she could get out of hand.
“Promise.” She raised her shot glass, and they drank in unison.
Then headed back to the dance floor as deeper beats reverberated through the club.
“Pierce…” Lee’s mouth was agape.
Pierce followed her partner’s line of vision, dropping her half empty, bottle of water.
“What the fuck is he doing?!” She bellowed.
Pierce and Lee stood frozen from the table they had secured, which overlooked the dance floor.
“I’m going to throw up.” Pierce put an arm on their shoulder as they said the words.
“Please let us be drunk and hallucinating.” They begged.
Cassandra had her arms around Tom, they had been dancing and each passing minute they drew in closer, she finally had his mouth on hers. Oh how she had missed, this, Tom began pulling away, she tightened her grip and he gave into her.
Tom’s mind was a haze, the lights around him doubled, his hands were being guided by Cassandra, then his legs followed her where she took him, he lost count after the fifth drink he had with her.
They were dancing for over an hour, when she pulled Tom close and kissed him.
He began pulling away as something in his mind tried connecting to his muscles to regain control.
She pulled him closer, and he felt himself lean in, his mind brought forth the image of a woman, it was as though the image was covered by a stained glass, no matter how hard he blinked the haze wouldn’t clear.
Cassandra began leading him towards the upper floor where their table was, all the while having Tom’s hands in hers, she giggled giddily.
“You told me Y/N and he were…” Pierce tried finding a valid reason, Tom was the one who had shoved the entire idea of playing with Cassandra’s emotions to the bin, his stance clear.
“I’m killing him.” Lee glowered, the entire mood shifting to a sour note.
“Hey guys!” Cassandra bit her lips, as Tom and she sat down, in his lap, straddling him.
“Hello!” Tom shouted cheerily, the lighting shifted and Pierce caught on Tom’s disheveled appearance, his breathing ragged, face flushed.
“Isn’t he being adorable?” Cassandra giggles, as she let her lips move along his neck, Tom stiffened, Cassandra carried on not caring for the change in his demeanour.
“Cassandra?” Lee felt their anger beginning to bubble up, he reached towards her,
“Cass,” Pierce grabbed her shoulder, beating Lee to the move.
“What?” Clearly bothered by the interruption she glared at her friend.
“I don’t feel good, I think the alcohol is getting to me.” She explained to the blonde, who looked as Lee, who’s expression was a mix worry and pure rage but Cassandra only caught onto the worry.
“Do you want to leave?” She got up from Tom’s lap, he sunk further into the seat, dazed looking at everything and nothing.
“Yes please.” She swayed a little, adding to the lie.
Cassandra, held her hand as she swayed a little far out, looking at Lee, again.
“Did you have a fight?” She asked Pierce,
Pierce, brought tears to her eyes, trying to hold back a sob.
“Oh god, you fucking idiot!” She pointed at Lee, grabbing their bags.
“Pierce, come on we’re moving to a different club.” Cassandra looked towards Tom, sighing, this would have to wait till when they all got back home.
Pierce, gave Lee a knowing look as the pair left. Once the girls were out, they turned to Tom,
“Tom do you know who am I?” They shook his arm for more attention.
“Leeeeeeeeeee,” Tom grinned, pulling them into a hug.
“This is going to be a difficult process.” They mumbled trying to move against, Tom.
After a eight minute struggle they were in a taxi, moving to the other side of the city. Then taking another cab, finally a fourth till they reached Lee’s lab building, which looked like an ordinary apartment building from the outside.
Tom had progressively gotten sleepier, grumbling as they made him walk up the short flight of stairs, scanning their keycard and helping him settle onto the bed in one of the rooms.
Tom groaned, shifting as he adjusted to get comfortable.
Lee turned to wash their hands in the small basin, the retrieved a glove box, a testing kit, if their hunch was right, their murder rage would be directed towards Cassandra.
“Tom, Lee here again.” They sighed sadly, seeing Tom in this state.
“Mmhmm,” Tom incoherently responded.
“I’m doing a blood draw, I need to test if you have been drugged.” They folded his sleeve, placing the velcro above the elbow, tapping to find the vein, drawing out blood into small vials for sampling.
“All done.” They informed, taking the needle out, placing a cotton and folding Tom’s arm which was now limp, Tom’s breathing was even, heart rate steady.
Their jaw clenched, everything pointed towards being drugged.
How had Cassandra even done this?
He would have to tell Pierce to check, well hack, the security cameras, to find when she slipped him the drugs.
Lee, sanitised all the surfaces and went out towards the lab section beginning the list of diagnostic tests.
Preparing a cup of coffee waiting on the processes to take their course. Tom was deep in sleep, Lee only hoped it would be dreamless.
Their phone buzzed
have you had a chance to calm down?
Have you? I know I was right about what I thought. You need to agree with me at times.
So you just confirmed that, you think you are right?
a few hours more won’t change my initial thoughts, connect the dots Pierce, check the bigger picture, not just the tiny corners where you hide yourself.
Oh, so now I should self reflect? What about you? Have you ever seen yourself in the bigger picture?
I have, I keep taking alternate options, hoping to mend things, maybe I will, I have. You should rest. I hope you feel better.
Fine. Do as you please. I am heading home. Cassandra is a good friend.
Fine. I say thank you, for her looking after you.
They groaned as the conversation ended, not wanting one sliver of praise for the blonde, even if it was false, but they had to speak in overlapping sentences.
An unfamiliar ringtone resonated through the lab, Lee moved towards where Tom was sleeping, checking his jacket.
flashed across the screen, their eyebrows furrowed, as they picked up the call, silently.
Lee tried placing the voice, of the female,
“Tom, can you hear me?” She asked again, “It’s me Y/N—Raconteuse.” She corrected.
Lee facepalmed, “Your voice sounds different.” They said laughing.
“Lee? Did I call you by accident?” Y/N checked the phone sure enough it indeed was Tom’s number.
“No, Tom and I were hanging out, he fell asleep, a rather tiring, drained out evening.” Lee explained, returning to the lab.
“Oh, what did you both get up-to?” Y/N didn’t mind talking to Lee, though it was odd, usually Tom stayed awake, she’d as him later if he’s alright.
“Uh, bit of this and that, standard criminal stuff.” Lee said lightly.
“Lee… Is, Tom hurt? Are you hurt?” Her voice held so much worry.
“No! No!” Lee stood up straighter.
“You aren’t lying on his instructions are you?” Y/N sounded angry, but Lee knew it was masked worry.
“Why would I lie?” Lee wondered aloud.
“Then put him on the phone, I’ll figure out, if he’s lying.” She bit her nail.
“He is actually asleep, Y/N. I am not lying, we had multiple jobs lined up today, even I was worried, but he has eaten, I’ll ask him to call you tomorrow at this dedicated time, correct?” They asked, hoping this was enough to dissipate some of your worry.
After a sigh, Y/N mumbled out a reluctant agreement.
“You tell him, if he is hurt or any sort of damage to him, I will scold him.” She warned.
“Are you really this amazing at threatening?” They asked.
“Is it too threatening?”
“No, just sort of like a small kitten biting your hand.” They knew it would distract you further.
“I feel insulted. Bell feels insulted.”
Lee laughed, “See now Bell, she is threatening, you should take tips from her.”
“Now you’re just further wounding my ego.” Y/N whined.
“Because you won’t let me rest, friend.” Lee reminded.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, I’ll let you rest. You are alright, right?” She wondered again.
“Y/N, we both are alright, just very tired, you know I wouldn’t hide being injured from you.
“I know; I just worry a little extra.” Y/N sighed, shifting somethings around.
The call was done, they hoped to have eased your worries, even though it had been a lie. Lee wondered how this would play out in the grand scheme of things that was lined up.
The timer went off in the other room, Lee sighed grabbing their third mug of coffee as they entered into the lab to analyse the samples.
“Rohypnol?” Lee’s eyes widened as they registered Tom’s symptoms, lack of control, altered behaviour in the cabs, the sweating.
Fucking hell, Cassandra had roofied Tom.
Oh she was going to pay for this, Lee pulled out their phone, opening the last conversation with their partner.
you remember that movie we saw, with that dentist. monkey?
Yes, I recall, you found the monkey to be the actual star and we had an argument. Are you starting another one over it?
No. I just realised I was right, it was a grotesque movie none the less, I’d like to watch it again once, you find the big picture.
I did, but you know I hide in corners and watch from there as you give me cues on what do to so I can follow your instructions.
Then how should we proceed?
We cool off, wait for tomorrow, meet together and work on getting rid of the leeches in our relationship.
Pierce sighed as she read the text, Cassandra roofied Tom, just to have him be with her. She wanted to slap the blonde who had left for her own floor, watching with the cameras she made sure Cassandra didn’t take one foot in the skilled driver’s room.
The security footage, she had hacked from the club’s cloud confirmed her suspicions, of the eight drinks Tom had, four being laced with a powder from the container, upon enhancing the image it read ‘salt’.
Her laptop dinged as the files downloaded into the encrypted folder which Y/N and her had set up for the four of them. They would have to show this to Tom so he knew nothing was done by his own volition.
Pierce held her head in her hands, was Cassandra always this way?
What was this change that occurred prompting her to go to such dark lengths?
Pierce brought her laptop closer, pulling up the things put together for Cassandra, she pulled up her phone’s cloud history, Cassandra always backed up messages and it would be a good place to look for more clues.
Her hands glided over the keys, entering the requisite password.
Cassandra’s messages were displayed, all with unknown numbers, Pierce opened the first thread
Unknown Number (Yesterday, 23:10 pm): 5 Roofs going to cost you more than what you asked for.
Cassandra (Yesterday, 23:11 pm): Well one never worked that night so just do as I say.
Unknown Number (Yesterday, 23:11 pm): Don't blame my quality, Just have my amount ready the way I’ve requested.
She took a screenshot, moving onto the next conversation
Cassandra (9 days ago, 15:45 pm): you have to trust me, she is working for Valarie to bring her down, she admitted it to me just this minute.
Unknown Number (6 days ago, 16:59 pm): It has been taken care of, thank you for your helpful tip.
Cassandra (6 days ago, 17:03 pm): She’s taken care of?
Unknown Number (6 days ago, 18:06 pm): Completely.
This was on the timeline of Tom and Y/N’s phase one plan. No wonder Miranda didn’t fall for their stunt, she had been warned. Pierce took a deep breath trying to connect the dots, added these screenshots to the folder as well.
The little purple dot on the screen almost burned Pierce as she frantically grabbed her phone to call Y/N.
“Hey,” She answered, “Is something wrong?”
“Oh no I just, accidentally uploaded a private video onto our encryption.” Pierce lied hoping and praying for no further questioning.
“Oh yeah I heard the folder make a sound, I opened it thinking something was wrong, but then Bell started hissing angrily at a piece of string so I couldn’t look.” Y/N chuckled.
“Yeah, don’t look, I’m so embarrassed.” Pierce wanted to scream everything to Y/N, right this second but that was a conversation that needed them to be in person.
“Oh alright I’ll stay out of it, I’m having issues with my wifi as it— Bell! No!”
Pierce prayed she didn’t jump on the keyboard,
“Is everything alright?” She asked worried.
“Yes she just tossed down a glass, I don’t know why is she angry today, as if no treats have been given.”
“Sounds like you have your hands full…” Pierce smiled, she’d only seen pictures of the tiny fur-ball, but if Tom and Lee were so in love with the cat she was sure she’d like her too.
Honestly if Bell kept Y/N away from the laptop, Pierce would get her the biggest cat tree in existence.
“I’ll stay off of the folder till you give me the all clear.” Y/N assured and her purple dot disappeared.
Pierce sighed in relief, finally breathing,
“Thank you.” Pierce spoke sincerely.
“I now have to address the angry ball of fur who is also Queen of the house.”
They bid their goodbyes. Pierce ran a hand through her hair, groaning as a few strands stuck to her piercings tugging on them.
Pierce, went to the vanity mirror needing visual guidance to let loose the strands, Taillight jumped up on the bed, getting comfortable and proceeding to watch her from the bed, making a whine.
“What?” Pierce asked the little golden fur baby of their house.
Taillight had her puppy eyes ready for action to coerce treats and pets.
“You want pets? Treats?” She asked and Taillight wagged her tail excitedly, “How about both?”
The pupper was extremely excited at the prospect, laying on her back to get well deserved belly rubs. Once Taillight had her delight and settled in, Pierce called Lee.
“Hey Sleepy head,” they teased her.
“At least I am not drunk on caffeine.” She retorted.
“To be drunk would imply, drunken behaviour.”
“Okay how about there is more caffeine in your system than there is water.” She giggled as Lee huffed, losing the banter.
“Its nice to hear that.” They sighed, sitting down on the particularly squeaky chair.
“Hear what?” She asked, as she settled in between the covers.
“Your laugh,” Lee smiled, as they knew Pierce would blush.
“You little flirt.” She narrowed her eyes, grinning.
“Your little flirt.” They corrected, chuckling.
Both sighed together, finding some solace in the chaos that was brewing a storm.
“How are we going to do it?” Pierce asked after the silence, her heart ached for Tom.
“We just approach it head on.” Lee suggested.
“I think we should involve,” Pierce began suggesting
“No. No.” Lee dismissed the idea of bringing Y/N in, for when they told Tom.
“Think about it, if we bring in a doctor they will know the entire thing as well, it could make things easier.” She reasoned.
“I understand but,”
“You know the patient, correct? Then you know a support system is what is needed.” Pierce completed.
“Alright, I’ll set up an appointment for us with the doctor.” Lee wracked their brain to think of where they could meet discreetly, counter surveillance measures as they had taken to bring Tom to the lab could be repeated although Pierce would be annoyed.
“If there is one more taxi ride I have to take I am not going to talk to them.” Pierce mumbled, annoyed at the six vehicles she changed.
The weather was cold and gloomy, much mimicking one of the routes the situation at hand could go for the difficult conversation that lay ahead.
“Did you say something?” The driver asked, looking at her through the mirror.
“Nothing.” She glared, partly because she was angry and partly because if she glared people would not try and pry into her with small talk.
The vehicle stopped outside the steps to the red bricked building, Pierce paid the fare and adjusted her cap, heading up and pressing the buzzer.
A clang sounded as the lock undid from the inside allowing her to move into the palpably tense atmosphere.
Her shoulder’s dropped in relief as she saw Tom awake and drinking something, her eyes met Lee’s she just went and wrapped her arms around them, who returned the gesture with as much affection.
They pressed a kiss to her cheek as the hug turned into standing side by side.
“No affections for me?” Tom pouted, his head aching lesser than when he woke up. Lee hadn’t answered any questions stating that when Pierce arrived they would answer it all together.
Pierce rolled her eyes,
“Aren’t you seeking the affections of Y/N?” She teased instead.
Tom’s cheeks redded, his mind pulled up flashing lights and he shook his head as if trying to shake off something stuck like chewing gum.
“Something wrong?” Lee asked,
“I can’t seem to shake these god awful lights from my head.” Tom took another sip of his coffee.
“Well, as curious as you are about what I am withholding we still have another person remaining to arrive.” Pierce informed him, on cue the buzzer sounded and Lee checked the monitor, sure enough it was Y/N.
They pressed the code that would allow her access, heading out to retrieve her.
“Did something happen?” Tom asked Pierce once Lee left, it was one thing for Lee to be so quiet but he could feel Pierce’s nervousness.
“What do you mean?” She asked, eyes on everything else but Tom.
“Last night, I don’t recall much.” Tom admitted.
“Not, well,” Pierce sighed, straightening up as Lee walked in,
Tom turned in his seat, behind Lee, Y/N entered, this rendered him even more confused.
How drunk had he gotten?
Y/N’s eyes scanned over Tom, checking for some form of injury, she trusted Lee’s words but couldn’t help the worry.
Tom’s eyebrows furrowed, he looked over at Y/N, her gait was normal so was she, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
He looked at the couple in front of him, if his mouth was not spewing questions, his eyes were and the air changed, he could feel it, the stress, the uncertainty.
What had he done?
Y/N made her way to Tom, not noticing she was being watched by Pierce and Lee, they concluded that she hadn’t seen the videos.
She moved towards him, standing at his side.
“Hi,” she said softly, reaching for his free hand.
He intertwined their hands,
“Hello,” He smiled up at her.
Y/N leaned closer, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“Any idea what they are going to tell us?” She whispered
“None.” Tom whispered back, a dread sort of taking over him.
“I say they want a wedding.”
Tom laughed as she retreated grinning, standing up again, not letting go of his hand.
“Alright since the gang is here we need to update you both on what transpired last night,” Lee began, Pierce opened her laptop to the required video.
“Now, first I just want to say watch everything then we will explain what we understood of what transpired, then only react please.” They finished, Y/N and Tom had gone silent, watchful expressions on their faces.
“You may want to sit down,” They gestured to the stool beside in line with Tom’s, she pulled the stool and sat next to him.
Pierce pushed the laptop closer, “You cannot react based on this video alone.” She cautioned, beginning the video.
The flashing lights matched what Tom saw every few minutes if he thought about last night, it must be the club they were at, then his gaze focused on the centre of the floor recognising himself with Cassandra, dancing, drinking and progressively moving closer.
His eyebrows furrowed, trying to remember these moments, to no avail. Y/N grew still next to him, her hold loosening on his hand, Tom’s eyes focused back onto the screen, he wished he was dreaming.
How could he not remember this?
Cassandra pulling him in to kiss her, how could he have done that? No matter how drunk he was he could hold himself, he looked at Pierce and Lee who both had a sullen expression.
How could he have done that to Y/N?
The video ended with the two stumbling towards the staircase in the corner.
Tom looked at Y/N, her eyes were glued to the screen and she was hardly moving.
“Y/N…,” Tom turned towards her, not understanding what to say.
“Play the next video.” Y/N did not meet his gaze, she did not take her hand from his.
Just let this be another nightmare please, she begged.
Pierce pulled up the next video, towards the top of the floor when Cassandra and Tom who stumbled more than the blonde joined their booth and continued what was going on,
Tom closed his eyes, why could he not recall? Why did he not push Cassandra away?
He opened them to find the video showing Cassandra on his lap almost reminiscent of how Y/N was caring for him just days ago, he felt himself stiffen up as they watched Cassandra continued her unwanted touches upon him.
The video played out, with Pierce leaving with Cassandra and Lee struggling to get Tom moving around.
Pierce loaded the next video, the one where they saw the bartender spike four drinks over the process of Tom and Cassandra having them.
Tom winced as the events revealed themselves, he didn’t understand why did this happen, why was he touched without being asked, why was physical touch such a difficult thing for him to have in a peaceful, gentle manner?
“SHE DRUGGED HIM!” Y/N got up from her place, Tom tightened his grip on her hand. She looked at him, her anger turning into a soft expression.
“Tom,” tears weld up in Y/N’s eyes, she wouldn’t let Cassandra get away, she would make that bartender pay the price too, god knows how many people he had targeted.
Pierce brought up the screenshots, Lee sighed, watching Tom try and hold himself together.
“Is that why we are here?” Tom asked
“I needed to confirm, you showed several signs of being drugged too closely.” Lee explained.
“Which one?” Y/N questioned.
“Rohypnol.” They answered
“That fucking woman.” She glowered.
“She also sent the tip to Miranda about Y/N.” Pierce showed the next conversation screenshot.
“Why is she doing this?” Tom’s voice sounded broken, he wanted to shut down, disappear. His breath hitched, growing more laboured, till he couldn’t control it, he got up from his seat, pulling Y/N with him, not letting go of her. He needed space but he needed Y/N.
She followed him, trying to keep up with his strides, towards the room he woke up in, equipped with a plinth, Tom shut the door, pushing Y/N up against it, resting his forehead against hers, his breathing still laboured, chest rising and falling rapidly, he couldn’t remember, how couldn’t he remember?
Y/N carefully raised her free hand, placing it against Tom’s cheek, wiping away the tears that began flowing.
Tom fell apart, crying fully, sobs breaking through him, she held him, silently crying at his ordeal.
Her hand remained intertwined with his, other hand on his cheek, soaked with his tears.
“Y/N—Y/N?” Tom whispered, sniffling as he tried clearing his throat to speak unbroken.
“Right here,” She opened her eyes looking up at him, his blue ones blinking through the tears.
“Make it go-go away, plea-please.” More tears, and sobs broke him as he sank down to the floor, taking her with him, Y/N was kneeling between his legs,
“Please— make her go away, make-make him go away. I can’t, I don’t want to feel them, You can, make it go away, please.” Tom begged, holding onto her forearms, losing himself down the abyss which he fought daily.
She’d keep him afloat.
“Tell me how, I will make them go away.” She asked, cradling his head between her hands.
Tom quietly shook, trying to hold back another sob.
“Feel you, again, need to feel you again, please.” He needed to have her touch him, make him focus on the good affectionate touch.
The good he possibly deserved.
“Promise me you will tell me if it gets too much?” She asked, caressing his cheek with the back of her fingertips, other hand towards his hair, brushing her fingers through it.
“I promise.” He still was shaking, eyes indicating he was still lost between past and present.
Y/N, pressed her lips to his forehead, then temples, either cheek, hands slowly making their way along the sides of his neck to his shoulders, watching each movement she did, eyes over his face, she was crying too, biting her lip so she wouldn’t make a sound.
This had brought out memories for Tom he wished he could forget, she would help him, hoping the affection she holds for him would translate through her careful touches.
Her hands stopped at the second button of his shirt, he nodded, “You can.” He whispered, his breathing shifting from broken sobs to uneven rhythms.
As she undid each button, her lips on his skin, soft kisses, placing both palms against his chest, she then, brought her hands to Tom’s bringing them above hers as she placed them back on his chest.
Tom looked at her questioning,
“Guide me.” She said, he traced her hands over his chest, guiding them to his shoulders.
Softly her fingers trailed over his skin, following with soft kisses, he sighed, head leaning against the wall, she repeated the action on the left side.
Fingertips tracing over his arms, then forearms, placing kisses over where Tom had scars and where his skin had hidden away older ones.
Tom leaned forward, his head resting on her shoulder, as she wrapped her arms around him, hands softly trailing over his back.
Tom, shoved everything away, in his mind, only feeling her breath on his neck, hands on his skin, heartbeat against his chest.
Y/N brought a hand back to Tom’s hair, caressing it as he held her, little did she now she was the one holding him from falling apart.
Pierce and Lee waited outside, checking up on them through the camera, for the first few minutes, not knowing what reaction would Tom have, they then shut it off, giving Tom and Y/N privacy.
“Do you think he will be alright?” Pierce asked, playing with the string on her purse.
“Do you want the honest answer or hopeful answer?” Lee asked, carefully pushing a strand away from her face.
“Which ever you believe.” She looked up at her partner, their brown eyes laced with worry for their friends.
“I think he will be, once he gets a chance to heal away from all of this.” Lee stroked her cheek.
Pierce sighed, leaning into their touch.
Lee leaned toward her, pressing their lips against hers, she pulled them closer, Lee, stood between her legs, as they met in a fervent kiss, fingers tangled in each other’s hair.
“Room,” Pierce mumbled against their lips, Lee nodded, lifting her wrapping her legs around them, making their way to the other room in the lab.
“I’m sorry,” Tom spoke, Y/N didn’t know how long they had been in the room, or how long since they last said any words.
“You shouldn’t be apologising.” She hoped her voice would convey her sincerity in her words.
“I should have had more control over my drinking.”
Now she was livid,
“Tom, you were drugged, you had no control, it rendered you vulnerable. Please don’t apologise, you should have not gone through that, I’m so angry, its taking so much in me not to just march into the facility and drag her to jail.”
“I know but, I just, if I would have…” He tried reasoning.
“You were given four spiked drinks, you shouldn’t ever put blame upon yourself.” She tried making him understand.
“My, my father used to physically abuse me, when I was a child, when I intervened between his domestic abuse to protect my mother.”
Her heart ached for him, they were now laying on the floor, using the one pillow, her hand, across his torso, which was then intertwined with his own.
“She would always tell me, manipulate me, try to make it seem I had to intervene so she could bear only the smallest percentage, of, of his, his anger. Once he was gone, for a few years, she took over the abuse.”
“Oh god, Tom, I, how could she?” Y/N was at a loss of words, she shifted closer to him.
“When I learned to drive, it gave me control, I felt for once I had the ability to dictate what happens, after a year, the day I first floored the pedal, I thought I was stupid, but the thrill of it, I navigated, not one cop, not one red light run, I didn’t stop, left the town, drove till I ran out of fuel. She never wondered where I went, never cared.”
He had begun to cry again, she wiped away his tears.
He smiled at her, “I don’t want to burden you with this.”
“You aren’t burdening, you’re sharing. If it is getting difficult we can discuss something else.” Y/N told him, kissing the back of his hand.
“MM recruited me, after I did odd jobs running cars.” He remembered that day.
“I was so nervous,” he continued, “but I did my part and she didn’t recruit me completely into her entourage. I’m thankful for that.”
“Why not?” She asked, yes the job had its downsides but maybe he would be more protected.
“Wouldn’t have met you.” He leaned closer, brushing his lips against hers.
Y/N giggled, “I didn’t know you were cheesy.”
“Hey I am gouda, what I do.” Tom defended.
“My god, Tom.” She still laughed.
“You like these jokes don’t you?” He said it as though stating a fact.
“Maybe.” She brought her lips closer to his, he smiled as they kissed, an idea arising in his mind.
“Will you come along with me? After we finish speaking to Lee and Pierce?” He asked as their lips parted.
She nodded, “One condition.”
“You don’t have a random person in the trunk.” She teased.
“Can’t guarantee that, darling.” He kissed her forehead, pulling her closer to him, basking in her warmth and touch.
AN: this was difficult to write, i hope you enjoyed reading it.
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thank you for reading!