Why no able to report for bad taste?
Kurt Hummel is a character played by Chris Colfer on Glee
Chris Colfer wrote and starred in a movie called Struck By Lightning
In S1E01 of The Flash, Barry Allen is told he is not a hero but just a young man who was "struck by lighting"
Barry Allen is a character on The Flash played by Grant Gustin
Grant Gustin plays Sebastian Smythe on Glee
Therefore Kurtbastian are meant to be together, I rest my case
Hello everyone, I am back with chapter 5 of “Nothing Breaks Like A Heart”. Please read etheir on here or A03 or FanFiction. Net and leave any comments, questions or feedback for me. I love hearing from you guys and everyone was super sweet about the chapters so far. This chapter is about Kurt retuning to school and it’s still really sad :( Anyway read for yourself and have a good day!! :)
Archive Of Our Own
FanFiction.Net (Chapter 5)
True Friends Are Never Apart, Maybe In Distance But Never In Heart - Unknown
Kurt was already dreading his day when he once again dragged himself out of his bed and forced himself to get ready. His walk in the rain the previous day was still affecting him seeing as he was freezing and seemed to have a head cold. He looked at himself in his mirror once he was fully ready for his return back to school and his looks alone made him want to call it quits, get back in bed and try again tomorrow.
None of his injuries had fully healed. He still had to wear the air cast for his ankle, Carol had gotten him a brace for his wrist, his bruises were starting to fade but were taking their sweet time and still covered his face and his stomach was still black and blue. Carol had told him that she didn’t think there was any internal damage but that if the bruises didn’t fade soon that she would have to take him to get them checked out so he was hoping that they wouldn't stay for too much longer.
Behind the bruises, his skin was paler than normal and he was shaking slightly but he blamed it on being nervous. Even though they hadn’t gotten the police involved, everyone in Lima knew about his attack. His dad and Carol had been set to go back to DC last week, the day after he was attacked but had cancelled and had a different representative go. And of course they had to have a reason for not being to go and of course they told the truth and had said that he had been attacked. And of course no one in Lima can keep their mouth’s shut so he had become the latest gossip around town. He wasn’t looking forward to the questions he would get or the whispers he would hear. He wasn’t looking forward to anymore more pitying looks or people asking him how he was. He was only going to lie to them anyway.
But he had to go to school. He was a senior and he probably had a bunch of work from all his classes waiting for him. He couldn’t hide himself away anymore, he had to be strong and face the world. And that also meant facing Blaine. He knew that Blaine was going to try and talk to him, that he wasn’t going to accept the fact that they were broken up and that he was going to act like nothing was wrong. He knew that no one really liked Blaine and that they knew that they were broken up but that didn’t stop him from worrying that they would take Blaine’s side. Or that Blaine would find him and would get him alone so that he could talk to him or hurt him again. That’s what was really keeping him away from school and it didn’t seem like Blaine was transferring back to Dalton anytime soon since he technically couldn’t go back until the second semester. That would mean that Kurt would have to deal with him being around for about three more months which was way too long for his liking.
He sighed to himself before grabbing his bag and his phone and heading downstairs. He heard talking coming from the kitchen and entered the room to find the rest of his family sitting around the table, Carol and his dad talking about their trip to DC that they were going to once the kids have left for school and Finn and Sam talking about something glee club related. He didn’t feel like sitting down with them so he just grabbed a piece of fruit and stood over the trash can as he peeled it.
“Hey champ,” His dad greeted him.
“Hi dad,” Kurt said, not looking up and focusing on his orange.
“You’re up early,” His dad continued to say and Kurt had realized that he hadn’t told anyone but Finn on his plans to return to school.
“Yeah, I’m going to school,” He said, casually like it was obvious what he was doing. He saw out of the corner of his eye that his dad and Carol exchanged a knowing look and he wanted to roll his eyes. It wasn’t like he could just stay home for the rest of his life, he still had dreams of going to New York and college (even though they weren’t a priority of his at the moment) and he needed to go to school if he wanted those things.
“Oh,” Carol said, surprised. “That’s wonderful Kurt. Are you sure you’re ready for that? No one’s forcing you to go,”
“Yeah, what if you just give yourself one more day,” His dad suggested.
“I think I’m ready,” Kurt lied. He finished peeling his orange, at this point he just wanted to throw it away having lost his appetite and picked up his bag again before turning to look at his brothers. “I’ll be waiting in the car if you want a ride,”
“Ok,” Finn said, not noticing the tension between his parents. “We’ll be out in a few,”
“Okay,” Kurt nodded before turning back to his parents, “Goodbye dad, goodbye Carol, I’ll see you when you get back from DC,” And with that he turned and walked out of the kitchen, to the front door and opened it to get inside his car.
“He’s not ready is he?” Burt asked the rest of his family.
“No,” Sam answered.
“Not at all,” Carol added and Finn shook his head. “But it’s his choice, Burt. Maybe he is ready. I mean I don’t think he would go if he didn’t feel comfortable considering what happened,”
“We’ll look out for him,” Sam assured the both of them. “And so will the rest of his friends.”
“I know you will, sweetie,” Carol told him. “But I don’t want him to get too stressed out. And Blaine will be there too won’t he?”
“Yeah he will be but he hasn’t been coming to glee and I haven’t really seen him around so hopefully he’ll just stay away, right?” Finn asked. “We won’t let Kurt anywhere near him unless he wants to talk to Blaine. Maybe he’ll want some closure,”
Sam looked a little nervous when Finn said that but he stood up with Finn and grabbed his bag before sending a wave goodbye to his parents and leaving the house. He knew that Kurt wasn’t going to want to talk to Blaine and even if he did, he wasn’t going to allow it. Blaine was a jerk and he was just going to hurt Kurt even more than he already had whether it was physically or emotionally. He was going to stay with Kurt the whole time he was at school and wasn’t going to let him out of his sight. Blaine was to go nowhere near him. Both boys got into the car, Sam calling shotgun while Finn sat in the back.
“Hi Kurt,” Finn said, buckling his seatbelt. “You ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Kurt mumbled as he started his car and drove out of the driveway. He was going to be fine, he kept assuring himself of this but he wasn’t fully believing himself. The past week of his life had been horrible and he wasn’t sure how it could get any better. Maybe if Sebastian responded to one of the thousands of texts or calls that Kurt had made but that probably wasn’t going to happen. He wanted to go back in time.
The boys drove to school in silence, Kurt focusing on driving while Sam and Finn focused
on their phones. When they arrived at school, Kurt admittedly parked the car and got out before walking as fast as he possibly could away from everyone. He didn’t want to be noticed by anyone and he knew it was going to be hard enough with the sound his boot made as he walked.
“Hey Kurt, wait up,” Finn shouted after him and Kurt groaned, rolling his eyes as he stopped in his tracks and waiting for Sam and Finn to catch up with him.
“What is it Finn?” Kurt asked him, not even trying to hide his annoyance. “I have to get to class,”
“Well seeing that we all have glee club this morning I thought we could walk together,” Finn said, smiling. “Everyone else is already waiting for us inside,”
“I don’t want to see them,” Kurt blurted out. “I just want to go to school like it’s any other normal day because that’s what it is, normal. I’m going to be fine and I don’t need any protection or…” Kurt continued rambling and started breathing heavily, getting overwhelmed and nervous. Finn and Sam exchanged a nervous look before cutting Kurt off.
“Kurt, it’s fine,” Sam assured him, taking him aside with Finn so that no one would see him. “Everyone just misses you and we aren’t going to treat you any differently. You need to calm down,”
“Why don’t you want to see anyone?” Finn asked him.
“I just don’t,” Kurt said, starting to cry. “I thought I could do it but I can’t and I don’t want to see them or Blaine or anyone,” Kurt finished before starting to sob and leaning into San's chest so no one would see him crying. He wasn’t ready to face anyone, he wasn’t brave enough.
“Do you want me to call your dad?” Sam offered, rubbing his back but Kurt shook his head. He was still worried about upsetting his father and he had to get to DC. He couldn't keep his dad away from his job again.
“Well do you want to talk to Ms. Pillsbury?” Finn suggested. “Or Coach Sue, she likes you,”
“No,” Kurt said, straightening himself up and wiping his tears. “I don’t want to talk to anyone, I just want to… I just want to go to my classes and get my work done.”
“Are you sure?” Finn asked, raising an eyebrow. “Because you can always just go back home and come back when you feel up to it.”
“Everyone understands what you’re going through Kurt,” Sam told him. “You don’t need to act brave or anything, we’re here for you.”
“I’m sure,” Kurt nodded. “I’ll be fine,”
He knew that Sam and Finn were about to say something else to make him change his mind so he started walking away and since they didn’t want to leave him alone, he knew they would follow. They walked inside the building and Kurt kept his head down and is noticed everyone in the hallways staring at him.
“Oh my god, it’s him,”
“Did you hear what happened to him?”
“Well I heard he got into a car accident,”
“No, he got into a fight, that’s what Jason said,”
“Emma told me that he tried to kill himself,”
“The fag deserved it,”
“I’ll have to thank whoever beat the crap out of him,”
“Too bad it didn’t work, the world would’ve been a better place without him,”
This is what he heard as he walked to the choir room. People were “whispering” about him but it was like they wanted him to hear it. At least none of them knew the truth but then again, why would someone think that he tried to kill himself? Or that he got into a fight? Sure he had been depressed in the past but before that night he had been pretty happy. And he wasn’t a violent person in the least bit. Sam and Finn shot glares at everyone as Kurt continued walking in the middle of them with his head down. They arrived at the choir room and all three of them stopped right outside the door. Kurt could see that everyone else was indeed already there, fooling around and talking to one another.
“You sure you want to do this?” Finn asked him one more time. “No,” Kurt thought to himself but a different answer came out of his mouth.
“Yes,” He said, bracing himself as he walked into the choir room. Everyone stopped and stared at him as he stood in the center of the room with Finn and Sam still at his side.
“Hi,” He greeted them, talking slowly and briefly.
“Hi Kurtie,” Brittany exclaimed, just as bubbly as the last time he saw her and she ran up to him giving him a big hug. This time Kurt hugged her back although he still wasn’t too comfortable with the contact. “I missed you,” She said, when she pulled away from him.
“I missed you too, boo,” Kurt said, smiling a little.
“Who hurt your face, Kurtie?” She asked him, lowering her voice so that only he could hear her.
“It doesn’t matter Britt,” He assured her. “I’m okay,”
“Good,” She beamed before grabbing his hand and pulling him over to the rest of the group.
The rest of the group greeted him and he received hugs and pats on the back from them. He felt a little better out being there although he was still feeling a little uneasy and was still bothered by the comments from the kids in the hallway. He knew that he shouldn’t let it bother him so much but he couldn’t help it. People saying that he deserved to die and that the world would be a much better place without him only made him feel worse about himself and his situation. Why did people have to be so unsympathetic and cruel? Why couldn’t they just keep their mouths shut and their opinions to themselves?
His thoughts were cut off as Mr. Schue walked into the room, late as usual. He walked over to the whiteboard when he caught sight of Kurt and paused for a moment. Kurt gave him a small smile which his teacher returned and thankful Mr. Schue didn’t call him out. He just continued telling his students what the lesson was for that day and sent everyone off to work.
Kurt was starting to think that maybe he had been worrying about nothing and that his day would be fine. Blaine was nowhere in sight and he was feeling better about having decided to go in today. Things were going to be fine. That’s what he thought at least but he was soon to be proven wrong.
After glee club Kurt had gone on to his other classes. His second period class was English which he shared with Mercedes and Quinn and she sat in between the two of them. Both girls shot anyone who dared to look at them with dirty looks and Kurt was very grateful for them. He continued to keep his head down and did his work for that day but was also handed a huge stack of missed work from the previous week. His teacher had told him that he was to take as much time as he needed in the work and that if he had any questions that he could ask her. Kurt thanked her and was even more grateful when she didn’t make any comments about his absence or his face. Even though he knew that she knew about the incident, he was glad she hadn’t brought it up. He didn’t want to think about it.
After English he went to History which thankfully Mr. Schue taught, making Kurt feel more comfortable. Another bonus was that a lot of the other glee kids were in the class with him so he was surrounded by them, like they were his shield. He sat in between Rachel and Finn with Puck and Mike behind him and Artie and Santana in front of him. No one looked at him and even though he was once again given a huge stack of papers for him to do, he was doing okay.
Things turned to shit after his second period before lunch. He went to his locker by himself, telling everyone that he would just be a minute and that he wanted to put his extra work away. He was granted this and stood at his locker, taking some time for himself. Yes, he was grateful for his friend’s protection but he needed some space. He was a very private person who valued personal space and boundaries and sometimes he just didn’t want to be around people, regardless of his attack. But he shouldn’t have gone alone because just when things were starting to look up for him, they looked back down.
He heard footsteps coming down the hallway and didn’t think much of it so he continued staring into his locker when the footsteps approached his locker. He heard some clear their throat and he snapped out of his trance, jumping back and closing his locker. His eyes widened when he saw the figure standing in front of him. It was Blaine.
“I think I should go,” Kurt said, his heart starting to beat fast as he turned around and tried to walk away. Blaine grabbed at his wrist (the one that he had previously damaged) and tugged him back.
“Let go of me Blaine,” Kurt hissed but Blaine didn’t listen.
“Hey babe,” He said, smiling like nothing was wrong and Kurt thought he was going to be sick. “Haven’t seen you around in a couple of days. Why is that?”
“You know very well why that is,” Kurt huffed. “You know what you did Blaine. This…” He gestured to his body, “... is from you.”
“Don’t be so dramatic Kurt,” Blaine snapped, his eyes turning dark again. “ You know what you did to me and I think you owe me an apology,”
“I owe you an apology?” Kurt asked angrily. “You aren’t the one with a dislocated ankle Blaine. Or a sprained wrist. Or a bruised stomach. You did that to me and I owe you an apology? When all I ever did was hang out around other people? When I never did anything to you to make you not trust me but because you were jealous and…” His voice broke and he started talking shakily, “... paranoid… because you didn’t trust me you hurt me.”
“You hurt me first Kurt,” Blaine snarled. “You couldn’t say that you loved me and that hurt. I wasn’t about to put up with you, with that because I don’t deserve to. I deserve someone that loves me and who puts me first. And you…” He said, pressing his finger into Kurt's chest just like he had done that night, “... don’t put me first.”
“I didn’t say I loved you because I don’t Blaine,” Kurt cried. “I never have and… and I never will. For two years all I’ve done was commit to this relationship, if you could even call it that and you never put anything into it. I deserve someone who loves me way more than you do because unlike you, I tried. I tried loving you, being with you and it was obviously a waste of time because… god Blaine… it’s like I don’t even know you. I would’ve never thought that you out of all people would hit me the way you did. Yes, I expect it from bullies but not from you. You broke us, not the other way around.”
“And there you go blaming everything on me,” Blaine said, throwing his arms up in the air. “You were out of line Kurt. It’s my right as your boyfriend to be able to know who you hang out with and who you talk to. I didn’t trust you.”
“That’s the problem Blaine,” Kurt yelled. “I didn’t do anything to make you not trust me, it’s all in your head. I loved you and only you until you did that to me. I trusted you until you did that to me. And it’s not your right to control who I’m friends with. You were my boyfriend, not my boss. I can do whatever I want.”
“You’re such a priss,” Blaine yelled back, his face red with anger and his fist balled up. Kurt started backing up, scared that Blaine would hit him again but once again, Blaine only followed. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me,”
“What am I doing?” Kurt cried. “Standing up for myself? Standing up against you? I should’ve done this a long time ago. In fact I should’ve never gotten together with you in the first place. All you ever did was lead me on and everyone said ‘You can do better,’ and ‘And don’t like him,’ but did I listen? No I didn’t and I gave you a chance and you… you took advantage of me, of that chance. I’m not doing anything to you Blaine, you did it to yourself.”
He knew that he had gone too far with his last comment because before he knew it, Blaine had struck him in his face. The punch rattled his brain as he fell to the floor and he backed up against a locker, away from Blaine. Thankfully Blaine didn’t come any closer
“Look what you made me do,” Blaine cried. “I don’t want to hurt you Kurt, I love you but you obviously don’t know when you’ve crossed a line and gone too far,”
“Get away from me,” Kurt whispered loud enough for Blaine to hear. “I don’t want you anywhere near me. I told you… that I wouldn’t tell anyone what you did to me, what you’re still doing to me if you stayed away but you obviously can’t take a hint. I hate you Blaine and it’s no one’s fault but yours. Stay away from me and I never want to hear from you or see you again. I already told you that I was through with you so I don’t even know why you tried to come and talk to me. You can’t manipulate me into forgiving you anymore. I know better now,”
“Fine,” Blaine yelled. “Fine, if that’s what you want then that’s what’ll you get but I hope you know that you are a terrible person and that you deserve what’s coming to you,” Blaine huffed before turning to walk away, leaving Kurt on the ground alone.
Kurt was shaking, his body curled up in a ball while he tried to make himself as small as possible while he started to cry again. He shouldn't have gone alone, he shouldn’t have said he needed some space, he should’ve just dealt without in order to avoid that. It was all his fault that he had gotten hit. He had made Blaine angry, knowing what he was capable of and he had paid for it. How was he supposed to deal with this? Was he ever going to be able to be alone again? Was he going to have to deal with the fact that he may have to go the rest of his life fearing that he may get hurt, if not from Blaine, then someone else? Why him?
He took out his phone and dialed a number before placing it to his ear. He couldn’t get up, his body wouldn’t let him move and he needed someone to come calm him down and help him up.
“Hello?” He heard Sam ask when he answered the phone.
“Sam?” Kurt asked, his voice uneven and broken.
“Kurt?” Sam asked, his voice laced with worry and concern. “Where are you dude, I’m getting worried.” He paused, taking into consideration how upset Kurt sounded. “Oh no, Blaine didn’t find you did he?”
“I need you,” was all Kurt could say.
“I’m coming now,” Sam said and Kurt could hear in the background that he was making some excuse for why he had to leave and then as he started walking. “Where are you?”
“Near my locker,” Kurt answered. “Please hurry Sam, it hurts,”
“Did he hit you again?” Sam asked.
“Son of a bitch,” Sam cussed into the phone. “What happened?”
“I wanted to put all the work that I got in my locker and I asked to go alone because… I don’t know, I was feeling overwhelmed by being around everyone but it was a mistake. He came up to me and started calling me babe and I told him to get away from me but he didn’t listen and when I tried to get away he grabbed my bad wrist and started yelling at me. I yelled back and then he said I crossed the line and he punched me in my face and it just hurts and I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t have gone alone Sam, I’m so stupid,” Kurt explained.
“No Kurt, don’t say that. It’s not your fault that this happened, it’s his. And I promise I won’t tell anyone if it makes you feel better,” Sam assured him.
“Thank you,” Kurt said,
“I’m going to hang up now but I’m almost there, okay?”
Sam ended the call and just as Kurt put his phone down he saw Sam turning the corner before running up to him.
“Hey,” He said, offering Kurt a small smile. “Are you okay? I mean, I know you aren’t but I mean, as of right now,”
“No,” Kurt said, shaking his head. “I’m so scared Sam, I shouldn’t have come here,”
“I know you are but I’m here now and I’m here to help. What do you need?”
“I don’t know,” Kurt said. He was starting to get that weird, confused feeling again when he lost control and didn’t know what was going on. “I’m scared.”
“I know, I know,” Sam said, kneeling down in front of him. “You’re going to be okay. Do you want me to get Finn?”
“No,” Kurt said. “He can’t know, he’ll go and beat up Blaine and then Blaine will know that i told someone and then he’ll hurt me even more,”
“Well can you get up? Do I need to get the nurse? Or I can call the ambulance?” Sam suggested.
“No,” Kurt said again. “I can get up but I don’t want to go to the hospital. I’m fine. I’m just scared, that’s all. I don’t feel safe anywhere anymore.”
“Okay, I’ll help you,” Sam said, standing back up and offering his hand to Kurt. Kurt grabbed it and Sam helped him to his feet. “You’re going to have another bruise from where he hit you. I can see it starting to form. Do you want ice?”
“No,” Kurt shook his head. “I don’t need ice.”
“I’m guessing you don’t want to go and sit with everyone else,” Sam said and Kurt nodded his head. “Do you want to go to the choir room? I’ll sing for you.”
“As fun as that sounds, I don’t want to go there,” Kurt said. “Can we just go outside? I need some air,”
“Yeah, sure,” Sam said and they started walking towards the doors and outside. They started walking around the school in silence, Kurt breathing in the fresh air and calming down some.
“Kurt?” Sam asked him.
“I know you’re probably really tired of hearing this from everyone and I know I don’t really have anything to be sorry for but… I am sorry. I knew better than anyone that Blaine was an ass and I didn’t say anything. And maybe if I had then this would’ve never happened. I just never thought that him of all people would have the nerve to do something like that. I thought he loved you.”
“It’s not your fault Sam,” Kurt told him. “All that really matters now is that I’m done with him. I just continue to hope that this time he’ll listen to me and that he’ll leave me alone.” Kurt paused before adding on, “Is it bad that I think it’s my fault? That he hurt me,”
“Yes, it’s very bad,” Sam said, “Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know, it's just that… maybe I was hanging around everyone else too much. Maybe Blaine’s just a high maintenance boyfriend and I wasn’t giving him what he needed. That’s what people do in relationships, they give each other the things that they need right? I just wished that he would have talked to me about how he was feeling instead of resorting to violence,”
“Kurt, don't make excuses for him and don’t blame this on you,” Sam said. “This is in no way your fault. He had no reason to be jealous. You’re allowed to have other friends besides him and you shouldn't have to worry about how that makes him feel. In fact, he should be happy for you but he wasn’t because he’s insecure and selfish. We all know how hard it was for you to make friends and him out of all people should know how happy it made you to have those people. You can’t defend him this time Kurt, you should’ve never done it in the first place. It’s not fair to you.”
“I know,” Kurt sighed. “This is just all so hard for me. It’s like I’ve lost everything in my life in the past week and it’s too much to handle. Blaine was one thing but Sebastian…”
“You two still aren’t talking?” Sam guessed.
“I’m talking,” Kurt said, “But he’s not. I know I hurt him and I didn’t mean to but I don’t know how I feel about him. Yes, he’s my best friend and it’s not like he’s ugly or anything but I’m just not really sure about relationships anymore after Blaine. I don’t want to ruin our friendship because I rushed into something not knowing how I really felt. I just wished that he would understand that.”
“I get it,” Sam said. “And I know it’s hard right now but we all know Seb and if he really loves you like he says he does then he’ll come around. He can’t stay away forever,”
Kurt smiled up at him with tears in his eyes. “Thank you Sam, just for everything. It’s just been really hard and I really miss him but you and Finn and everyone else have been… just so nice and I really appreciate it.”
“Your welcome,” Sam said, “You deserve all of this anyway. It’s the least I can do really after you helped me out so much last year. You’re a good friend Kurt, remember that,”
“I will,” Kurt nodded and Sam gave him a hug. His life was truly falling apart and even when he felt at his best, he still felt miserable and like he was missing something. What was happening to him?
Hello everyone, I am back with chapter 4 of “Nothing Breaks Like A Heart”. Please read etheir on here or A03 or FanFiction. Net and leave any comments, questions or feedback for me. I love hearing from you guys and everyone was super sweet about the chapters so far. This chapter is still about Kurt and Sebastian and it’s still really sad :( Anyway read for yourself and have a good day!! :)
Archive Of Our Own
FanFiction.Net (Chapter 4)
Have You Ever Wondered Which Hurt The Most Something And Wishing You Had Not, Or Saying Nothing And Wishing You Had?- Unknown
ONE WEEK LATER
Kurt was depressed. There was no denying it because everyone including himself knew it. His family had thought his behavior wouldn’t get too much worse after that night but it did. Instead of wanting to have someone around and staying around Sam and Finn, he isolated himself in his bedroom and the only time he came out was to get water. Carol and Burt had tried to get him to eat breakfast and dinner with the rest of the family but he wouldn’t budge, saying he wasn’t hungry. Sam or Finn would knock on his door to check on him once in a while when their parents were at work but Kurt would just answer, not even opening the door and the boys quickly got the message that he wanted to be alone. Everyone knew that the isolation wasn’t doing Kurt’s mental health any good but then again, they didn’t know what to do about it. Kurt was stubborn and once he had his mind set on being alone there wasn’t anything you could do to change his mind.
He ignored all the phone calls and texts from all his friends because the one person he wanted to talk to wouldn’t answer him. At first Kurt had tried calling and texting Sebastian in hopes that he would forgive him for saying what he said (and not saying what he didn’t say) but Sebastian was also stubborn and didn’t respond to him. That hurt, everything hurt. First he had lost his boyfriend, then his best friend and now he was pushing everyone else away because he was afraid that he would lose them too and he’d rather it be on his own accord.
He hadn’t cried since the day after Sebastian left. The previous day he had but now he just felt numb. Trust him, he had wanted to cry but he kept the tears at bay. Crying wasn’t going to be able to fix the mess that he was in. Crying wasn’t going to undo the injuries that Blaine gave him or make Sebastian come back. It was useless and therefore he wasn’t going to cry. Maybe he would eventually, maybe he would break down from the stress but for now he was as okay as he could be (which wasn’t much).
He knew that everyone was worried about him. He knew that he should at least answer some of the messages from his friends, to assure them that he was okay. Or that he should try to get up and go to school knowing that he had a bunch of work in all of his classes waiting for him. Or that he should eat dinner with his family to make sure that they knew he was alright but he had no energy for that. It had been a week since his incidents with Blaine and Sebastian and instead of feeling better he felt worse. His body still ached, he still had to lug his foot around in a heavy air cast, the bruises were taking their sweet time healing, his stomach and hurt still hurt and his wrist wasn’t healing. The physical pain was something he could deal with, what he couldn’t deal with was the mental pain and the feeling of loss that was overcoming him. It was a weight on his body, holding him down and drawing him of all his energy to the point where he struggled to roll over to the other side of his bed.
And it was all his fault. Because maybe if he had just said that Blaine was right and had given him his phone and had promised him that he wouldn’t hang out around any other boys so much then Blaine wouldn’t have hit him and Kurt would still feel loved. But then he was pretty sure that what Blaine had done was considered abuse and that he was wrong. And then maybe if he could’ve just worded what he said to Sebastian differently and had not freaked out then Sebastian would still be around. But then he didn’t know what love felt like therefore how could he truly know if Sebastian loved him or not. He probably just thought that he loved Kurt because they had been friends for such a long time. How could Sebastian love someone like him? He had ruined his relationship with Blaine and now he had ruined his relationship with Sebastian and was well on his way to ruining all his other relationships with everyone else. He guessed that’s all he did now, ruined things and that’s why it was better if he just accepted defeat. If he just kept himself holed up in his room, away from the people he loved so he wouldn’t hurt them.
Sebastian was depressed. There was no denying it because as of right now he hadn’t left his dorm room in a week and Nick and Jeff kept bugging him to at least get up and get coffee with them. They were the only ones that knew about Kurt. Sebastian had gone to his dorm room that day, crying and unfortunately his roommates had seen him. They had asked what was wrong and after having them swear not to tell anyone, Sebastian had told them how he had told Kurt he loved him and how Kurt didn’t feel that way about him. He told them that Kurt and Blaine had broken up, leaving out the part where Blaine beat the shit out of him, and took it as the time to confess his feelings. The only thing was that the time he picked had been the wrong time. Or maybe there was never going to be a right time because Kurt was probably never going to feel the same way about him.
Nick had told him that Kurt was going through a rough time since he had just been attacked and that he was probably confused and upset and Jeff had offered to talk to Kurt for Sebastian but he had turned down the offer. He didn’t want to hear from Kurt at the moment. He hurt too much. He was heartbroken and he knew that Kurt probably was too. And he knew that in a way he was being a horrible friend, being selfish by putting his feelings over Kurt’s when Kurt was in an unstable state. He had been getting texts and calls from the New Directions asking him if he had spoken to Kurt because he wasn’t talking to them and the Warblers also kept asking about him but Sebastian didn’t know anything. It made him feel even more guilty to learn that Kurt was ignoring everyone especially when he heard from Rachel that Finn had told her that Kurt wouldn’t come out of his room and had stopped going to school. He knew that he was to blame but he still couldn’t bring himself to suck up his pride and call Kurt.
So instead he stayed in his room, saying that he was sick and doing all his work away from everyone else. Nick and Jeff hadn’t bought his excuse one bit and told him that he wasn’t helping himself or Kurt by isolating himself but seeing how miserable their friend was they agreed to cover for him. All Sebastian did was work and sleep. Nick and Jeff had brought him food but he didn’t eat it. His friends tried to cheer him up, making jokes and telling him about their days but they gave up when they could tell that it wasn’t working.
Sebastian didn’t know what was going to make him feel better. Ultimately it would’ve been Kurt but that was out of the question. Not only had Kurt hurt him but Sebastian had hurt Kurt and he didn’t even understand why Kurt kept calling and texting him. Why Kurt wasn’t upset with him for being selfish and a bad friend. Kurt should hate him but he didn’t. Instead he was leaving him voicemails begging for his forgiveness and texting him with apologies, like he had something to be sorry for.
Sebastian was the one who should be sorry and he was. He was sorry for being in love with Kurt and he was sorry for telling him that when he was going through stuff. He was sorry for not being good enough for him and he was sorry that he never would be. And he would apologize if he wasn’t so stubborn and prideful. And then maybe they could’ve talked and taken things slowly to the point where Kurt would start feeling better to the point where he could make up his mind. He had said he wasn’t sure how he felt about Sebastian so maybe they still had a chance of being together. But then again, Sebastian didn’t want to take any chances of making anything worse so he didn’t respond to Kurt. He locked himself away from everyone so he wouldn’t hurt any of his other friends.
“There’s a reason me and Sam called you all here today,” Finn said, staring at the glee club in front of him. He had called them all over to his house because he needed to talk to them about Kurt. Him and Sam were extremely worried about their brother and he wanted to know if anyone had any ideas of what to do.
“Does it have anything to do with the fact that Lady Hummel basically fell off the face of the Earth?” Santana asked, looking at her nails. Finn could tell that she was worried though, even if she was still being a bitch. “Because I would love to go up there and drag him out of his room for you guys,”
“No there will be no dragging of anyone Santana,” Sam told her and she scoffed. “We all need to be very gentle with him, he’s vulnerable,”
“You’re talking like he’s a baby or something Sam,” Quinn told him. “Kurt will be fine, he’s tough and he just needs some time to recover,”
“Wait, no,” Finn said, looking around confused, “How much do you guys know? About what happened last week,”
The group looked at each other, confused before Artie answered for them, “Only that he went missing but that he showed up late. Isn’t that all that happened?”
“No,” Sam and Finn said at the same time.
“Someone attacked him you guys.” Sam informed the group. “Bad. He's pretty beat up.”
“Yeah and he won’t tell us who it was.” Finn added. “And he said he broke up with Blaine but he won’t tell any of us why and Blaine won’t respond to any of my messages. And Sebastian got into a fight with Kurt and I don’t think they’re talking either. It’s a mess,” No one seemed to notice how uncomfortable Sam got when Finn mentioned Blaine.
“Wait slow down,” Mercedes said, “Start with the attack,”
“Okay,” Finn started, “So he showed up covered in blood and he was crying hysterically. We asked him what happened and he said that he broke up with Blaine but he didn’t tell us why but he did say that he walked home because it wasn’t that far and then he stopped talking and said he didn’t want to talk about what happened.”
“We let it go because it was obvious that he didn’t need to talk about it at the moment but we’re pretty sure that someone beat him up,” Sam added. “He said that his body hurt so Carol checked him out and said that he probably had a concussion and that his wrist was sprained and that his ankle was dislocated. She snapped it back into place but he has to wear this huge boot on his foot.”
The group just stared at the two boys with wide, surprised eyes. They knew that people didn’t like Kurt because he was gay and they knew that he had been beaten up before but it had never been this bad before. And to think that he was just walking home, it was a shame.
“Oh my god,” Brittany gasped, covering her face with her hands. Someone had hurt her dolphin and that was not okay with her.
“I’m going to beat their ass,” Puck yelled, standing up from the couch.
“No Puck, you can’t do that,” Finn assured him. “We already offered to do that and he said he didn’t want us to plus he won’t tell anyone who did it,”
“You could start up an investigation, Finn,” Rachel informed him. “I can get my dads in on it and everything. They have a whole team of lawyers. This can’t go unpunished.”
“I don’t think that’s something Kurt wants Rachel,” Sam told her. “I think he just wants to forget about it but… ya know, it’s hard for him to do,”
“Okay, well what happened with Sebastian?” Tina asked. “They’re best friends and they’ve never fought before,”
“Sebastian’s in love with Kurt and Kurt doesn’t love him back,” Sam admitted to the group.
“That’s some bs,” Puck yelled out again. “I’ve seen the way Princess looks at Seb and you can’t tell me it’s not love,”
“I know you guys but just think about it,” Finn told them. “When Seb came over we specifically told him to be gentle and easy with Kurt and he did the exact opposite. Telling him that he loved him when Kurt had just gotten out of a relationship that none of us even liked or approved of and had just gotten beaten up was the wrong way to go about things. He could’ve just waited a little while longer for Kurt to recover and get his feelings together but he decided to do it at the wrong time,”
“We aren’t mad at him and we know how frustrated he probably was since Blaine treated Kurt like shit all we’re saying is that he could have picked a better time to talk about it,” Sam said. “And now they’re both upset and I think Kurt keeps trying to call him but Sebastian won’t answer him and now Kurt’s miserable,”
“We just don’t know what to do you guys,” Finn told the group. “We love Kurt and this past week has been the worst for him and he didn’t even do anything wrong. But now he won’t eat anything, won’t talk to anyone and barely even comes out of his room.”
“And when he does he looks like a ghost,” Sam said. “We miss him and Burt and Carol are going to be leaving for DC tomorrow and we don’t know if we’re going to be able to handle making sure he’s okay,”
“I just say give him however much time he needs,” Mercedes shrugged. “I mean yes I miss him but he won’t stay like this forever.”
“Mercedes is right,'' Santana added on, “And Seb and Kurt are best friends, they aren’t going to stay like this for the rest of their lives. It’s obvious that they need each other so they’ll both eventually come around. Seb will answer Kurt’s texts and Kurt will realize his feelings for him and bam, the problem is solved,”
“Princess is going to be fine,” Puck said and the rest of the room nodded. “He’s strong,”
“It’s obvious that you guys don’t know how bad this situation is,” Sam said, shaking his head. “This is bad, you guys haven't been around or seen him,”
Everyone in the room besides Sam and Finn froze, staring at something behind them and the boys turned and saw Kurt standing there with a glass of water in his hand, staring at the group with wide eyes and it was obvious that he was startled to see everyone there.
“Hey bro,” Finn greeted the boy, nervously. “You okay?” Kurt just stood there frozen, eyeing the group nervously.
“Hi Kurtie,” Brittany beamed, getting up and hugging him while ignoring all the warning glances that her friends gave her. Kurt didn’t flinch away or anything but he didn’t hug back either.
“You wanna hang out with us Kurt?” Sam asked him. “We could watch a movie or play a game.”
Everyone in the room nodded together enthusiastically and Rachel even scooted over some so that Kurt could sit next to her but their expressions changed when Kurt started shaking his head and had tears in his eyes. He looked so scared and they were starting to see why Finn and Sam were so worried. Kurt was so broken that he couldn’t even trust his friends and that hurt them.
Before anyone could say anything Kurt turned and hurried out the door but instead of going back to his room he placed his glass down on the kitchen counter before grabbing his keys and shoes and walking out the door. It was raining outside again but Kurt didn’t care. He got into his car and slammed the door shut before backing out of his driveway and driving down the street. He didn’t know where he was going, only that he needed to get away from everyone and that being in his room wasn’t enough.
He was crying. He had tried so hard not to but once again he was greeted with tears. And once again there was no control over his emotions. He wanted Sebastian, no he needed him and he couldn’t have him. Because he messed up just like he always did. If only he knew how he felt. Then maybe he could figure out if he really loved his friend or not.
It wasn’t like he hated Sebastian because he didn’t. They were best friends and Kurt would never hate him no matter what. Had they had fights before? Yes. Had they always seen eye to eye? No. But did they let that get in the way of their friendship? Absolutely not. Except now they were and everything was messy. He was a mess. And to think that this could’ve all been avoided if he had just listened and done what Blaine said. Or if he would’ve listened to Sebastian and wouldn’t have started dating him in the first place. He had ruined his own life.
He ended up driving to a nice, little park that he used to go to with his mom when he was little. She would take him there sometimes after school if he had had a particularly hard time with bullies that day. They would take a walk around the pond and feed the ducks that were there. Or they would go to the playground and his mom would push him on the swing or they would build a sandcastle together. Or they would just lay in the grass and would look at the clouds together. Oh to be young and have your mom with you. When your only problem was bullies and not abusive boyfriends and best friends that had feelings for you. Sure the bullies had hurt Kurt when he was a kid but he had no idea that he would grow up to deal with worse.
He parked his car and got out, still crying and the rain still pouring outside but he wasn’t bothered by it. It felt good and refreshing. He slowly walked throughout the park. He was the only one there seeing that everyone else knew better than to be outside in the bad weather but that only made Kurt want to stay in the rain more. Away from everyone. No looks of pity or sounds of people talking about him. How much of a mess he was and how they were worried. He didn’t mean to worry them but this is how he had chosen to cope. This is how he had always coped but he guessed that maybe he was going a little too far and that the coping was also a little bit of a punishment for him. For ruining everything so much.
He walked around for a little while, watching as the rain blurred his surroundings. Kurt loved the rain. Rainy days when he could curl up in bed with a book or a movie or driving in the rain and hearing the sound of the raindrops falling against his window. Sleeping while it was raining was the best. He didn’t know why he liked it so much or what he liked best about it. The way it sounded or the way it looked. The way it made him feel when he was in the comfort of his own house while it poured outside, feeling warm and safe. Or the way it made him feel alive when he walked in it (although that wasn’t the case right now). The way it made everything else look, how it washed out the scene and added a new element to it. He liked all of it. But now it was doing something else for him. It was making him feel something. He had been numb all week but right now, here he was feeling the cold rain fall onto his skin and crying and he wouldn’t have been able to do that if he was still in his room. Sometimes he wondered whether it was better to feel your emotions or whether not to. Because sometimes when all you felt was pain and sadness then you didn’t want to feel anything at all and you shut off your emotions not being able to feel any emotions at all. But then isn’t it better to feel sad and miserable for a little while but at the end of it all you can still be happy.
He found a bench underneath a tree and sat down on it, having walked for about an hour. He pulled out his phone and saw that once again he had a hundred texts from his friends asking him where he had gone. This time he decided that he would answer one of them to let them know that he wasn’t being beaten up again and texted Sam.
To Sam: i’m okay, i just needed to get out of the house, i promise i’ll be back soon
To Kurt: oh okay, good to now, just wanted to make sure you’re okay, sorry if we freaked you out a little, see you when you get home 💖💖
Kurt closed out his messages from Sam when he got his message and went to Sebastian’s. He knew it was a waste of his time but then he had the slight hope that maybe he was over it and would at least talk to him.
To Sebastian: hi Seb, i know you’re still mad at me but can we at least talk?? 🙏🙏
To Sebastian: please, i’m so sorry seb, just give me a chance, i miss you😔😔
To Sebastian: i need you, you’re my best friend and i’m so sorry i ruined everything but i want to be your friend again 😭😭😭
From Sebastian: i’m sorry
He sent the last text and seeing that Sebastian had read them and had chosen to ignore him, Kurt burst into more tears and put his phone away before pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging himself. Was this how it was going to be forever? Did Sebastian truly hate him now? How bad he had really messed up?
He cried some more before deciding that he should get back home before everyone started to worry about him again. They would already be shocked enough to see him drenched in rain again and he was getting tired. The rain had been a nice change but his room was better, safer. He got up off the bench and started walking back towards his car, taking in the sight of the rainy park once more.
He got in his car and turned on the heat, warming up his body a little before driving away from the park. He drove home with the radio on with the volume turned down low, not really paying any attention to the songs playing but needing some type of background noise besides the raindrops. He took his time getting home, even deciding to take the longer route home. He hoped that by the time he got back that everyone else would be gone so he could just slip upstairs and wouldn’t have to worry about them. He felt bad for ignoring them and for making them worry about him but he just couldn’t talk to them. He was sure that Finn and Sam had been filling them in on his behavior from the previous week and he didn’t want to be asked any questions about who attacked him or what had happened with Sebastian. It was bad enough that it had constantly been on his mind ever since it had happened.
He arrived at his house and unfortunately everyone was still there. He parked in the driveway and got out of his car, the rain having stopped. Kurt was shivering, now thinking that it was a bad idea for him to have gone for a walk in the rain. There was nothing he could do about it now though except to go inside and change. So he went inside, opening the door as quietly as he could and snuck inside but unfortunately he had run into Finn who had seemed to be waiting for him to get home.
“Hey, whoa you’re soaked,” Finn exclaimed when he saw his brother. “You okay?”
Kurt was kind of getting tired of being asked that question. “I’m fine,” He said back, a little too harshly. “It was raining outside,”
“Oh,” Finn said, his face dropping a little at Kurt’s tone, “Well if you’re hungry, we ordered pizza. You can go change first and then you can come back down if you want. We were all going to watch a movie too,”
“No thank you,” Kurt said, turning down the offer. He still needed to be alone. “I’m not hungry and I think I just need to go to school. I am going to school tomorrow,” He added, surprising himself and Finn. He hadn’t really thought about it yet, it just slipped out.
“Oh,” Finn said. “Well that’s good, I guess you do need some rest then. Well goodnight little bro. I would hug you but you’re kind of wet,”
“That’s okay Finn,” Kurt assured him. “Goodnight,”
Finn went back into the kitchen, probably to inform everyone that Kurt was back home, safe while Kurt went upstairs to his room. He took off the wet clothes that he was wearing and put a dry pair of pajama pants and a sweatshirt on in their place. He was still cold and not having the energy to do his skincare routine (he hadn’t done it in a week) or at least wash off his face, he got into his bed and laid his blanket on top of it, snuggling into its warmth. It was comforting, just like the rain had been and Kurt decided that he should start seeking comfort in the things he had like the rain and his bed then seeking comfort in people. It would always rain and he would always have his bed but he couldn’t say the same about the people in his life.
So he fell asleep, listening to the rain, contemplating on whether someone truly needed to be loved in life or not. The saddest thing was that he came to the conclusion that they did. Sure he didn’t know what the feeling felt like, if he had truly ever loved someone and if someone had ever truly loved him but he wanted to feel the feeling. To know what it felt like and if he felt that way about Sebastian. Love was so complicated.
I made a moodboard for my new fanfiction because I’m extra 😂😂. But seriously, it sets the mood for the story and I really like it so I hope you do to and I hope that you check it out. You can read it on here or A03 or FanFiction.Net.
Archive Of Our Own
Hello everyone, I am back with chapter 3 of “Nothing Breaks Like A Heart”. Please read etheir on here or A03 or FanFiction. Net and leave any comments, questions or feedback for me. I love hearing from you guys and everyone was super sweet about the chapters so far. This chapter is about Kurt and Sebastian and it’s really sad :( Anyway read for yourself and have a good day!! :)
Archive Of Our Own
FanFiction.Net (Chapter 3)
They Say Follow Your Heart But If Your Heart Is In A Million Pieces Then Which Piece Do You Follow?- Unknown
Kurt slowly opened his eyes and sat up in his bed. He was the only one there and he was wondering why he felt like he had gotten hit by a bus when all the events from the previous came flooding back to him. It instantly shocked him and before he knew it he was crying. When the first thing you do in the morning is cry, you know it’s not going to be a good day but Kurt didn’t know how it could get any worse. He had thought about everything the previous night and tried to convince himself to get over it because nothing could be done about it.
He had broken up with Blaine. They were done and he had accepted that even though the wounds were still fresh (both physically and emotionally). He had also accepted the injuries and bruises that Blaine had given him. But it was Blaine. Blaine had hurt him. Blaine was jealous. He was cold hearted and he had proven to Kurt that he didn’t truly care about him. And Sam found out without Kurt even telling him. He knew Sam had sworn to keep his secret but what if someone else found it? What would his friends who were smarter than Finn think when they learned that he had been badly beaten up the same night that he had broken up with Blaine? If Sam was smart enough to figure it out then surely someone like Quinn or Rachel could? It was hard enough trusting Sam, he didn’t think he could trust anyone else besides Sebastian.
He knew that Sebastian knew he had been missing and he wondered if he now knew that he showed up at home. He probably did though and Kurt would have to text him later to tell him what happened. He needed to tell someone to get it off his chest. He had vaguely described the events to Sam but he hadn’t said all of it and he knew that Seb would understand the most. That he would be the most comforting in Kurt’s current situation and that he would just listen and then would give his thoughts and opinions.
Sebastian had never really liked Blaine. Kurt and him had been friends before Kurt had met Blaine and Sebastian could instantly tell that Kurt liked him. At first, Sebastian was very supportive and tried to get the two of them together but then he started to figure out that Blaine was trying to lead Kurt on and he didn’t like that. Sebastian had confessed his suspicion to Kurt but he had just waved him off and told him that he was being ridiculous. If only he had listened to him. But then they eventually started dating and that made Sebastian hate Blaine even more. He hated how Blaine treated Kurt like an object. How whenever Blaine saw Kurt talking to another boy how possessive he got, hanging onto him and kissing him every chance he got. How jealous he was of Kurt to see that he got along with other people besides him.
And the worst part of all was how big of a flirt Blaine was. He hit on everyone, including Sebastian himself. He was subtle about it, so subtle that Kurt didn’t seem to catch on to him but some people seemed to notice and they didn’t like it. Blaine would hit on Nick, making Jeff angry and they eventually stopped hanging out with him unless Kurt, Sebastian or some of the other Warblers were around. The same happened with Wes and David. And maybe Kurt did catch on and he just didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to upset him which was just another reason why their relationship was so crappy.
Even though Kurt didn’t know it, Sebastian loved him. More than a friend as a lover. They had known each other every sense they were kids and had grown up with one another. They had stayed friends when Sebastian had moved to Paris and Sebastian had comforted Kurt the best he could when he learned that Kurt was getting bullied. He moved back to Ohio around the time that Kurt had transferred to Dalton and it felt good for them to be so close again. It was like nothing had even changed between them, they had fallen right back in sync. When he had first moved back he was happy just being Kurt’s friend but then he realized that he had feelings for Kurt. It was too late though because Kurt was already falling for Blaine. And you could say that Sebastian hated Blaine so much because he was jealous of him and maybe that was part of the reason. The bigger reason, the more important reason why Sebastian hated him was because of how much he hurt Kurt and how he was such a manipulative asshole and that Kurt couldn’t see it.
Sebastian had been there for Kurt all the times that Blaine had made him cry. Kurt’s first week at Dalton had ended with him having a mental breakdown because he was so stressed out with the workload and to top it all off, Blaine had told Kurt that he needed to blend in more if he wanted to be a better member of the Warblers. Then when Kurt thought that Blaine had a crush on him just for him to find out that it was on some closeted guy from the GAP. And then Kurt still went to support Blaine even though he was heartbroken and even when the whole serenade had turned to shit and when Kurt had told Blaine that he thought it was for him and Blaine still stood turned him down. Blaine had picked someone who was still in the closet over Kurt and that had hurt him. Which in turn made Sebastian angry. But there was still more. Then there was the night that the three of them had gone to Rachel’s party and Blaine had gotten drunk and made out with Rachel Berry. At first, Kurt thought it was hilarious but as the kissing between the two lasted longer and he saw how much Blaine had enjoyed it, Sebastian could tell that Kurt was once again hurt by the asshole. And why wouldn’t he be, first Blaine chose a guy that was five years older than him, who was still closeted when Kurt was young and out and proud and now he had chosen a girl when he was gay. It just got worse when Blaine told Kurt that he was going on a date with Rachel to the point where Kurt made a comment about bisexuality making Blaine compare him to Karofsky, someone who had threatened to take Kurt’s life. No way were those two the same things, not even close. But of course in the end, both boys apologized and Kurt went right back to staring at Blaine with heart eyes. And of course Sebastian was the one to comfort Kurt the whole time while he cried his heart out over someone who didn’t deserve him. Sebastian’s last straw was when they had performed “Animal” for their sister school and afterwards Blaine had said that Kurt’s dance moves made him look like he was having gas pains, ultimately calling Kurt un-sexy. Now when Kurt had come crying to Sebastian telling him what Blaine had said he was furious to say the least. Kurt was the sexiest person he knew, his dance moves were awesome and Blaine didn’t know the fuck what he was talking about and Sebastian wanted to give him a piece of his mind. And he would’ve if it wasn’t for Kurt, wanting to stand up and protect his crush.
And then the next week, Pavarotti had died and when Kurt had sung him a song, Blaine had figured out his love for the boy. Kurt had been his friend, had been open with his feelings for him and he finally felt that way about him back when Kurt had sung a song about a dead bird. Perfect way to start off a relationship. It only made things even worse when Blaine had chosen a break-up song for their duet. They sang their duet at Regionals and even though Kurt had done great (and in Sebastian's opinion, less could’ve been said about Blaine) they still lost but Kurt was as happy as ever.
And Sebastian should’ve been happy for him but he wasn’t. Because he was the one who had been there for Kurt the whole time and he was the one who had actually, truly loved him yet Kurt had eyes for no one except Blaine. And Kurt wasn’t the only one who was all over Blaine etheir. All but a handful of Warblers (him, Nick, Jeff, Thad, David, Wes and Trent) worshipped the ground that Blaine walked on and he was a respected member of Ohio because of his dad’s wealth. But then Sebastian had wealth and he could sing and was just as good looking and yet he was always second best to the “Golden Boy”. So maybe he was jealous of Blaine but Blaine was still an ass in his opinion and he didn’t deserve anyone like Kurt. He was just waiting for the day when Kurt realized that so Sebastian could have him. So Sebastian could be happy and could feel like someone actually wanted him, like he was worth something.
But Kurt was oblivious to his friend’s feelings for him and thought that Blaine was his only option. And now that that option was gone, Kurt thought that he was never going to find someone who loved him again. Then he realized that he had never found that person in the first place and that hurt him even more. Kurt eventually stopped his crying and got up to go to the bathroom so he could clean himself up some. He looked in his mirror and regretted his decision again because this time he looked worse. His face was no longer red, it was black and blue with some yellow and purple also. His pale, smooth, angel-like skin was now ruined with bruises and scrapes and blemishes and it was all Blaine’s fault. Or maybe it was all his fault, he still had mixed feelings about his role in Blaine’s attack. He sighed, running a hand on his face before opening his cabinet to get out a washcloth and his toothbrush. He washed off his face with cold water, waking himself up some more and wiping his tears and then brushing his teeth, the taste of mint making him nauseous. His head still hurt and he probably had a concussion, which was just something else to add to his list of “my life is completely going downhill and here’s why”. He rinsed his mouth out and contemplated on whether to throw up or not. His stomach hurt but he didn’t have the energy to get rid of his banana from the night before and he didn’t like the feeling. Might as well stall some more since it was eventually going to happen anyway.
He left the bathroom and made his bed before leaving his bedroom to go downstairs. He remembered falling asleep with Finn and Sam in his bed and wanted to see where they had gone off to. He didn’t like the idea of waking up alone when his brothers had previously been there with him even though he wasn’t really expecting them to stay with him until he woke up. He went downstairs into the dining room where he saw a nicely arranged table with breakfast items on it. He heard noise coming from the kitchen and went inside to see Sam and Finn yelling orders at one another. They hadn’t seemed to notice that he had entered the room so Kurt cleared his voice, causing the two of them to stop and turn their heads.
“Hey, Kurt,” Sam exclaimed. “You’re awake,” Kurt just nodded his head, feeling weird like he didn’t know where he was. He was confused but he didn’t know what he was confused about. He was confused about being confused.
“We made breakfast,” Finn said with a dopey smile. “There’s pancakes and eggs and fruit and bacon.” He said, listing the items that they had made.
“And Carol let us pick some flowers from her garden so we could put them on the table,” Sam added. “It’s all for you.” Kurt continued to stare.
“Are you feeling okay... better?” Finn asked, noticing the look on his brother’s face and instantly becoming concerned but Kurt continued to stare, looking straight ahead.
“Yeah, you’re kind of freaking us out, Kurt. Can you say something?” Sam asked him, wearing the same expression as Finn.
“Where’s Carol?” Kurt asked, shakily. He didn’t know what was happening but he was feeling ten times worse than he had been feeling which was saying a lot. He was getting dizzy and nothing was making any sense to him. He needed Carol or his dad.
“She went out to run some errands and to get your foot thingy,” Finn told him. “And Burt went to work. He said for us to look out for you. Why, what’s up?”
“Nothing,” Kurt lied but his body betrayed himself right then and there when he started to cry. “I’m fine I just need to go back to bed,” He said before breaking down into tears. It was as if he couldn’t control his emotions and Sam and Finn just stood there, shocked, having never seen Kurt in the state that he was in before. Kurt hugged himself and Finn and Sam finally acted, going over to Kurt and hugging him.
“Hey, don’t cry,” Sam told him. “It’s okay,”
“Kurt, what’s wrong? Why are you crying right now?” Finn asked.
“I just… I don’t feel good,” Kurt told them. “I want my dad,”
“Oh, okay. Well we can call him,” Finn offered but Kurt shook his head.
“No, it’s fine. I don’t want to worry or bother him while he’s working. I just need to go back to bed.” Kurt assured them, taking deep breaths in order to calm down.
“Are you sure?” Sam asked. “I’d think he’d want to know if you needed him,”
“I’m sure.., I’ll call Seb instead,” Kurt told them.
“Oh,” Finn said, “Okay, well do you want something to eat. We promise the food isn’t poisoned or anything.”
“I’m not hungry,” Kurt told them and he felt bad when he saw the boy’s face’s fall a bit. He didn’t want to disappoint them or make them feel bad, the gesture of making him breakfast was sweet but he didn’t feel like eating. “Maybe later,”
“That’s fine,” Finn said. “We’ll save you some,”
“Go back to bed and we’ll let Sebastian in for you when he gets here,” Sam added. “Do you want one of us to come with you? You know, so you aren’t alone.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine, all I’m going to do is fall asleep anyway.” Kurt assured them and with that he went back upstairs into his room and laid back down on his bed, letting himself sink into his mattress and comforter. He didn’t know what had just happened but he knew he didn’t like it. He didn’t have any control over himself or his emotions. If anything, Kurt needed control over himself, he needed consistency, something to rely on to know that things weren’t crashing and burning. But then again the lack of control was because his life had crashed and was now on fire.
He found his phone on his table next to his bed and looked at it for the first time since the time he had turned the ringer on it off. And it sure went to show because when he opened his notifications he saw what seemed to be a thousand text messages from all his friends. He went through each one of them, not responding but just reading them.
To Kurt: kurtie, where r u? finn said that u r missing and i need my 🦄 !!
To Kurt: Lady Hummel, where are u? Finnigan is having a meltdown because he says you’re missing. Answer me now or else I’ll find you, dead or alive and you won’t be happy 🤬🤬
To Kurt: Princess, where the fuck are you? Finn and Sam are freaking out and Blaine says you left his house and no one’s seen you since. Are you okay?
To Kurt: Kurt what the fuck babe? Where are you? Don’t tell me you’re dead in a ditch somewhere. Text me back ASAP. Love ya 😘😘😘
To Kurt: Kurtie, are you okay? Your brothers are freaking out and no one has seen you around. Please don’t be dead. Call me when you can 😊😊
To Kurt: Kurt, Jeff and Seb are freaking out, please tell me you’re ok and aren’t missing. We’re out looking for you right now 😬😬
To Kurt: Where are you? Everyone is so worried. Blaine’s crying because he thinks you’re dead or something. Call someone ASAP
To Kurt: U ok dude? You’re freaking everyone out
To Kurt: Boo, you better tell someone where the hell you are right now or else I’mma about to come find you myself and trust me I ain’t happy. But seriously Kurt, call someone for god’s sake, you don’t want to give your dad another heart attack. Love you 👄👄
To Kurt: Finn and Blaine say that you’re missing. I know everyone else has probably texted you now but are you okay? Tell me if you need someone to pick up or something 🙂🙂
To Kurt: Dude, your dad is flipping out and so am I. Where are you? Text me when you see this. Hope you’re okay
To Kurt: Okay seriously what the hell? Where are you? Are you cheating with Blaine? It’s about goddamn time. Okay no jokes. You’re scaring me babe, please tell me that you’re okay!! 😭😭
To Kurt: Bro, where are you? I’m so scared, why aren’t you answering anyone? Please tell someone where you are 😞😞😞
To Kurt: Kurt, man where are you. I’ve got Mercedes, Santana and Finn yelling at me and telling me that you’re missing. We’re worried
To Kurt: Kurt hon, where are you? Everyone is worried sick and Mercedes and I are looking for you but we can’t find you. Please be alright 😇😇
To Kurt: That’s it Kurt, I love you but it’s been an hour. WTF!!?? Answer someone for crying out loud. I’m fucking scared babe 😩😩
They were a bunch of other texts from Wes, Trent, David and the rest of the Warblers along with Mr. Schue and even for some weird reason Jesse St. James but Kurt couldn’t be bothered to read any more of them. He went to his call log to find hundreds of missed calls but he only called one person back.
He clicked on the contact information and called the number, waiting for the call to go through.
“Kurt, you better be alive or else I’m coming to bring your gay ass back from hell,” He heard Sebastian yell through the phone.
“It’s me Seb. I’m alive.” Kurt assured him and he heard Sebastian take a deep breath and say, “Thank fucking god,” before returning back to his phone.
“You scared the shit out of everyone last night. Finn called me and told me you showed up covered in blood and bruises. Who did that to you? I’ll beat their ass,”
“Seb, can you just come over?” Kurt asked, breaking Sebastian’s heart when he heard how scared and vulnerable Kurt sounded. “Please, it’s just easier to explain when…”
“I’m already on my way,” Sebastian said, cutting him off. “I’ll be there in like, twenty minutes. I’m bringing ice cream. And you have a lot of explaining to do babe.”
“Okay just, please hurry Seb,” Kurt begged, his voice breaking. “I’m so scared,”
“I will babe, I promise,” Sebastian assured him. “See you when I get there. And don’t be scared. You’re gonna be okay,”
Sebastian hung up and Kurt laid his head back on his pillow, the tears continuing to stream down his face. He was so exhausted and confused and just afraid. He had never felt this way before in his entire life, not when all the bullying occurred or when Karofsky threatened to kill him. He was shaken to the core and it probably had to do with the fact that he thought he could trust Blaine but he had hurt him. That now made it hard for him to trust anyone. He drifted off back to sleep, crying and hoping that Sebastian would arrive soon.
“Hey Finn,” Sebastian said, arriving at the Hummel-Hudson house. “Kurt’s here right?”
“Yeah he’s in his room,” Finn said, letting Sebastian in. “Just before you go, there’s somethings you should probably know.”
Sam joined them as Finn continued. “He’s in a really fragile state right now. He came down here this morning and burst into tears and we don’t really know why.”
“Just don’t freak him out Seb,” Sam added. “I don’t know how you would seeing that he loves you but take it slow and don’t yell.”
“Don’t pressure him,”
“Ask to touch him and don’t move around too much,”
“Try to get him to eat something,”
“And be nice,”
“You guys, chill out,” Sebastian told the boys. “I think I can handle it. I got him some ice cream and I just want to make sure he’s alright. I got this,”
“Fine,” Finn said. “Just follow our advice and don’t make him cry,”
“I won’t,” Sebastian assured before turning to go up to Kurt’s room. He knocked on the door and when he didn’t hear a response he slowly opened the door and walked inside.
“Kurt? Babe, are you here?” He asked and he saw something moving in Kurt’s bed and was happy to see that it was him. That was until he saw all the bruises on his face. Fuck staying calm, Sebastian was pissed off and wanted to beat the crap out of whoever hurt his friend.
“Oh my god,” He said, his eyes wide as he made his way over to Kurt’s bed. “You look terrible,”
“Gee thanks,” Kurt said, the sarcasm not present in his voice.
“You know what I mean. You’re still the hottest person I know, babe,” Sebastian assured the boy. “So I brought ice cream but do you want to eat it or put it on your face? Looks like it hurts,”
“It does, I’ll go with my face” Kurt said as Sebastian passed him the pint sized tub.
“So, are we going to pretend that nothing happened last night or…?”
“Seb, if I tell you what happened then you have to swear to me that you won’t tell anyone, okay?” Kurt told him. “I’m serious, Sam’s the only other person that knows and he promised not to tell anyone so you can too. Please?”
“I promise,” Sebastian said, kicking off his shoes and getting into bed with Kurt. “Spill it,”
“Okay,” Kurt said, taking a deep breath. “Don’t make me regret my decision,”
“It was Blaine,” Kurt said and was thankful that Sebastian was hiding his rage and anger. It was going to be so much easier if he just got it all out there before hearing Sebastian yell. “We were hanging out last night at his house and out of nowhere he just started yelling at me. He said that I spent too much time with you and Nick and Jeff and all the other guys and he accused me of cheating. He wanted to see my phone and even though I wasn’t cheating on him I still told him no because it was a violation of my privacy and then he got mad and he…” His voice broke and Sebastian started rubbing circles on his backs, already knowing what Blaine did and boiling with rage. He was so going to kick his ass. “... he hit me. He hit me in the eye and my jaw and in my stomach and he shoved me against his wall and I hit my head. Somehow my ankle snapped and when I got home Carol had to snap it back into place. They think I have a concussion and my wrist is messed up too. My stomach hurts and it’s all blue and he told me to leave once I told him he was hurting me. He said that he couldn’t believe that I came to his house and told him that he was acting irrational. He said he didn’t want to hurt me but that I hurt him first but he was just jealous. I didn’t see how it was fair to me to give him my phone so I didn’t and he hurt me. I thought I could trust him Seb but this wasn’t even the first time this happened, it was just the worst. He said he would call me but I told him not to and I broke up with him. I told him how I felt and that he wasn’t being fair to me and then I left. I didn’t know what to do and the thought of a million people asking me a million questions was overwhelming so I put my phone on silent and that’s why I didn’t answer anyone’s texts. I got home so late because Blaine had driven me to his house and I didn’t have a ride home. I didn’t want to deal with anyone or else I would’ve called someone to pick me up. It wouldn’t have even taken so long if it wasn’t for the fact that my ankle was dislocated and my body hurt like hell. Sam only knows that it was Blaine because he figured it out himself and confronted me but no one else knows and I’m just scared about what he’s going to do now. Like what if everyone takes his side? Sam and Finn already said they’re on my side but I’m not sure about everyone else and… I’m just so scared Seb,” He finished saying before bursting into tears and burrowing his face in Sebastian’s chest. “What if it’s like Karofsky all over again and he threatens to kill me? I don’t know what to do,”
“Is that all?” Sebastian asked, calmly.
“Yes, you can talk now,” Kurt told him.
“Okay well first of all I applaud you for breaking up with that dickwad. He just lost the best thing in the world. Second of all, I know you probably don’t want me to but I’m going to kick his ass once you stop crying. And trust me, he’s going to look much worse than you do when I’m done. No one beats up my best friend.”
“No Seb, you can’t,” Kurt cried, scared to death. “He’ll know that I told you and I don’t want anything else to do with him. I already told him to act like he didn’t know me and that he needs to stay away from me if he’s going to stay at McKinley. Sam and Finn already told me that they won’t let him anywhere near me but I just don’t want anything more to do with him.”
“Kurt, you can’t seriously be thinking about keeping this to yourself, babe,” Sebastian told him. “He abused you and from what you said, he seemed like multiple times. He deserves to be in jail.”
“Seb, please, you promised me you’d keep it a secret,”
“I know I did, fuck, you’re right,” He admitted. “It’s just, you can’t just tell me something like that and expect me to be okay and to not want to beat someone’s ass. Everyone was so worried about you, Jeff actually started crying when we went out to look for you. And now I figure out that you were missing because of Blaine, your supposingly, loving boyfriend. I knew he was no good. I knew it and I should’ve never let you sing that god awful duet or let you go out with him.”
“Seb, I’m a person you know,” Kurt said, lifting his head off of Sebastian’s chest. “I can make my own decisions and I can deal with their consequences. And that’s what I intend to do. Yes Blaine was wrong but… you know, who knows maybe I did do something wrong and he had every reason to do what he did,”
“Are you serious right now?” Sebastian asked him, getting pissed off. “I hope this is just because you hit your head and that you aren’t being fucking serious right now Kurt. How are you going to stand up for that asshole when he did this to you?”
“I’m just saying Seb. Maybe I really was in the wrong? I’ve just never seen him so angry about anything so maybe it… it was just me,” He finished saying, lowering his voice to a whisper.
“No, you know what Kurt, Sam and Finn told me to go easy on you because you’re in a quote on quote “vulnerable state” but you need to wake the fuck up, babe,” Sebastian said, jumping out of the bed and staring at Kurt while Kurt avoided his eye contact. “For two years I’ve been in love with you, alright. I’m your best friend, I’m the one who’s always there for you and for two years I’ve watched you as you followed Anderson around with heart eyes and then continued to give him heart eyes even though he treated you like you're a piece of garbage. He’s flirted with other guys right in front of you, barely even trying to hide it and you still choose him. And you still choose him after what he did to you. But here I am, I haven’t put myself in a relationship for two years because I have been waiting for the day when you would finally dump him and would choose me. But that’s never going to happen is it? What’s so great about him that you’d literally put yourself in an abusive relationship when you could have me? When you could have me and I would treat you the way you deserve to be treated? I remember when you used to come to me all the time last year, crying about how he didn’t love you, how he would’ve rather dated a girl than date you and how he said you weren't sexy and then I watched as you went off to date him and I held my tongue because you seemed happy but then again you seemed happy. You really weren’t and you know how I know? Because I love you. Because I know you and I know when you’re happy and I know when the smile is fake and I know when you aren’t being yourself. And you were being that way every single time you were around him. I love you Kurt, I love you and I’m not afraid to say it anymore but honestly…” His voice broke and he started to cry. “.. fuck I can’t do this anymore. I can’t sit around here while you fall for everyone else but me. It's just like how you felt about Blaine at Dalton last year, only you’re better than Blaine. But then again maybe you aren’t because you're doing the same thing that he did to you to me.” He stopped talking, out of breath. This was how he had felt for two years and he had always been there for Kurt. Now he needed Kurt to be there for him. He needed Kurt to realize that he deserved better, that he deserved him.
“I never loved him Seb,” Kurt whispered. “I thought I did but… I don’t even know what love feels like,”
“I’ll tell you what it feels like,” Sebastian said, sitting back down on the bed and taking Kurt’s hands. “It feels like you and me. I love you Kurt and I would do anything for you. And you love me too whether you realize it or not,”
“I don’t know,” Kurt said, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t want to mess anything up. You’re my best friend, I don’t want you to realize how messed up I am,”
“I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re crazy or fucked up or anything Kurt. Just give me a chance, please,” Sebastian begged him. “I’d treat you like a fuckin princess babe, I’d give you anything,”
“No,” Kurt said a little too harshly, removing his hands from Sebastian’s. “I can’t. I don’t lov… I don’t feel… I just don’t know how I feel, Seb. I’m sorry,”
“Oh,” Sebastian said, the tears coming back to him. He softened his voice, disappointed. He was sure that Kurt loved him. That he was just hypnotized or manipulated by Blaine. But he was wrong. Kurt didn’t love him and it hurt. It hurt so much and he couldn’t take it. “That’s fine. It’s fine. Hey, look I just remembered that I have to go do something. Sorry I can’t stay around but… it’s not like you really need me anyway.”
“No Seb, wait,” Kurt said, realizing that he had hurt Sebastian. “I do need you, don’t leave. I’m sorry. You’re my friend, I just don’t know about anything. After everything with Blaine… I just need to think about things for a while. I still want you.”
“No, Kurt,” Sebastian said, getting off the bed again and putting his shoes back on. “That’s your problem. You’re so obsessed with Blaine, you always want his opinion and it's like you live your life for him but he hurt you. I didn’t and you still choose him. He did this to you,” Sebastian said, gesturing to Kurt’s face. “And yet you still care about him. It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to you. I’m not going to stay around when I love you and you don’t love me back and you’re just going to run back into Anderson’s arms because it hurts. You don’t love me and the sooner I accept that, the sooner I can go back to my own life. Because I have spent way too much time on you and Blaine and not on myself and that ends now.”
“What are you saying Seb?” Kurt asked.
“I’m saying that I’m taking a break. I’m going to take some time for myself while I give you some space. Don’t call me or text me unless you absolutely need me and if you do anyway I’m going to ignore you. You’re obviously going through some shit right now and I don’t really think you need me around now that I told you how I feel and you don’t feel the same way. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you all of this especially after what had happened but it’s better this way. And don’t try to change my mind either because I’ve already made it up. I just… I need some time and so do you.”
“Seb wait,” Kurt cried, once again not understanding what was happening. “Please don’t go, I need you,”
But Sebastian didn’t listen. “He grabbed his bag and headed towards the door. He took a dramatic pause before looking back at Kurt. Kurt seemed so broken and sad but so was Sebastian and he needed a break. “Goodbye Princess. Keep the ice cream.” And with that he rushed out the door and walked right past Finn and Sam, towards the door.
“Hey man,” He heard Finn say but ignored him. “Where are you going?”
“Home,” Sebastian replied shortly.
“Oh, are you okay? I thought that you would stay with Kurt for a while,” Sam said, concerned.
“Yeah, I’m fine. He’s the one who’s not.” Sebastian lied.
“Wait what? Seb what did you do man?” Finn asked.
“I did everything apparently,” Sebastian snapped. “Okay, because I love him and he doesn’t love me back. Get used to not seeing me around anymore because I told him I need a break. Sorry for not being gentle with him,”
And with that he rushed out the door, getting into his car and slamming the door shut. Finn and Sam just watched him as he drove off. He drove out of sight of Kurt’s house before parking on the side of the street, bursting into tears. What had he just done?
Kurt sat up in his bed trying to figure out what had happened.
Sebastian loved him.
He didn’t know whether he loved him back.
He didn’t even know what love really felt like.
He had thought he loved Blaine but he didn’t.
He had thought that Blaine loved him but he didn’t.
He didn’t want to mess anything up with Sebastian.
But he had anyway.
Is that all he did?
Just mess everything up with the people he cared about.
Because now Blaine was hitting him.
And his dad was acting weird.
And he had lost Sebastian, his best friend.
Should he even try to get him back?
Should he apologize or should he do what Sebastian wanted him to do and stay away?
God why was he such a screw-up, why did he ruin everything?
These thoughts bounced around his brain and no matter how hard Kurt tried to think of something else, he couldn’t get rid of them. This was how his day got worse. Sebastian was gone and it was all his fault. He had been right there this whole time and Kurt had been blinded by Blaine. Blaine had ruined everything for him. Wait, no it wasn’t Blaine’s fault, it was his. Or it was both of their faults. He had been a bad friend to him while Sebastian had been nothing but comforting and caring and now he blew everything.
He laid back in his body, hugging himself up in a ball and crying. Sobbing. He couldn’t breathe and once again, he had no control over himself. How does one’s life fall apart so quickly in less than twenty-four hours? How does one lose so much? Just his luck.
He drifted off back to sleep and didn’t hear when Sam knocked on his door. Sam, not having gotten a response from Kurt, opened the door and saw that Kurt was asleep. He noticed the tear stains on his face and contemplated waking him up to ask him what had gone down between him and Sebastian or letting him sleep. He decided to let him sleep, seeing that he was probably exhausted and that he would get upset if Sam woke him up. He would ask Kurt about it later and Sam only hoped that Kurt was going to be alright.
Hello everyone, I am back with chapter 2 of “Nothing Breaks Like A Heart”. Please read etheir on here or A03 or FanFiction. Net and leave any comments, questions or feedback for me. I love hearing from you guys and everyone was super sweet about chapter 1. This chapter is about how Kurt’s family reacts when they see him beat up and I loved writing this because of how loving and supportive everyone was. Anyway read for yourself and have a good day!! :)
Archive Of Our Own
FanFiction.Net (Chapter 2)
“It’s Like One Day You Flipped A Switch And Became Someone I Never Knew”- Unknown
“What the hell happened?” Kurt heard his dad and Finn yell at the same time. Kurt didn’t answer them, just continuing to cry into Sam’s chest. He was asking himself the same question. Carol went over to him and kneeled down in front of him so that when Sam pulled Kurt away from that Kurt was looking right at her.
“Kurt, honey, what happened? Who did this to you?” She asked him but all Kurt could do was shake his head. He couldn’t tell them, they would call the police on Blaine and then Blaine would know that he broke his promise and would probably come after Kurt to hurt him more. He wasn’t taking any chances, he was in enough pain as it was and he wasn’t about to go cause himself more.
“Kurt, son,” His dad started to say calmly , joining the group over at the table. “I thought you were with Blaine tonight. Where is he? Why didn’t he drive you home? Do I need to call him?”
“No,” Kurt yelled, making his dad and Carol exchange an odd look with each other.
“Blaine and I broke up and I told him that I would just walk home… because it’s not that far away but then…” Kurt stopped and took a shaky breath, trying to figure out what to say. “... I don’t want to talk about it.” That was enough, he didn’t want his family to get any ideas that Blaine was the one who hurt him, even though that idea was the truth.
“Wait, Blaine broke up with you?” Finn asked, surprised. “Why?”
“I broke up with him and it doesn’t matter,” Kurt whispered. It did matter, all of it mattered because not only was Kurt physically broken but he was also heartbroken which didn’t make much sense because he was starting to think he had never loved him in the first place.
“Well, he didn’t hurt you did he?” Sam asked and Kurt shook his head, lying.
“You know Blaine didn’t do this, Sam. Blaine wouldn’t hurt a fly.” ‘But he would hurt his boyfriend.’ Kurt thought to himself, miserably. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore though so he changed the subject. “It hurts,”
“Well you do look pretty beaten up there honey,” Carol told him. “Lucky for you, I’m a nurse so there’s no need to take you to a doctor right now.”
“Carol, I think…” Burt started to say but Carol shot him a look that said, “Not now, look at the state he’s in,” and he shut up. He turned her attention back to Kurt and started examining his body while asking him some questions that thankfully had nothing to do with the identities of his attacker.
“Where does it hurt specifically Kurt?”
“My head, my face, my wrist and my stomach and my ankle. I think I snapped my ankle, it’s kind of dangling out of place.” Kurt admitted, trying not to look down at his foot because he felt sick enough and didn’t really want to throw up again.
“Well it looks like whatever got you, got you pretty hard, sweetie. You’ve got a black eye and your eyeball is really red and swollen.” ‘Must’ve been the book,” Kurt thought to himself. “And when you say that your head hurts do you mean because you feel sick or did you hit it?”
“Both,” Kurt mumbled, starting to feel sicker and sicker by the minute.
“And is that the same with your stomach?” She asked him. “Did someone punch or kick you? Or something,” She added at the end.
“Yes, I got punched,”
“Okay, Kurt I’m going to need you to stand up and take your shirt off so I can see if you have any marks. Not to worry you but you could have internal bruising if you got punched. Can you stand up?” She asked him.
“Yes,” Kurt said and held onto the table to push himself up but when he was fully standing, he felt the pain throughout his body increase and winced. “Never mind, no,” He changed his answer.
“Sam hold Kurt up, please,” Carol ordered Sam who gave Kurt a small, comforting smile and held him up by his hips. “Okay Kurt, let me help you,” She told him, going over to him to help him pull his wet and surprisingly, blood soaked shirt off. It took some time and it was extremely painful for Kurt but they all managed. When the shirt was finally off Carol placed it aside and went back to look at Kurt’s stomach when she along with Finn and Burt gasped.
Kurt’s stomach was practically black, covered in various little bruises but when you looked from afar it looked like one. Kurt told himself not to look down so as to not freak himself out. He hated all these injuries, the blood and the bones and the bruising. He always had, that’s one of the reasons why he never got into any sports until he played football his sophomore year. The thought of having a bone sticking out of him or getting a bloody nose was very unappealing to him so that just made this whole situation even worse than it already was due to the fact that there was blood all over him and that his ankle was deformed.
“Kurt that looks painful honey,” Carol told him and usually Kurt would snap back at her and would say that it was painful but he was too focused on breathing so he wouldn’t puke all over himself and Sam. “We need to get some ice on that after you get yourself cleaned up but next you said your wrist hurt. Can I see it?”
Kurt nodded his head a little and held out his right arm for Carol to examine. She took it in her hand and gently held it, trying her best not to twist it to cause any more pain or damage. “Hmm, it may be sprained honey, we’ll have to wrap it up, okay?” She asked him but Kurt was silently crying again, feeling sick to his stomach and wasn’t paying attention to her. “Kurt?” She asked again and when Kurt started to feel something rise in his throat he wiggled himself out of Sam’s grasp and fell towards the sink just in time to throw up in it.
He retched and heaved while Sam rubbed his back. He felt horrible which only made him cry more, which made his stomach hurt more which caused him to vomit even more. When there was nothing left in him for him to puke (for now at least) he turned on the sink and washed it out before splashing the water on his face. He dried off his face with a paper towel and realized that he was out of breath. He just wanted to sleep now but Carol wasn’t done examining him and he still had to take a bath and get his injuries wrapped up. He continued crying and Sam helped him sit back down in his chair before sitting down himself next to Kurt and Finn joined them. Both boys grabbed one of Kurt’s hands and held it, trying their best to comfort him without hurting him anymore.
“Kurt bud, I know it hurts but it’s going to be okay,” His dad told him. “What do you want us to do?”
“Nothing,” Kurt told them all. “I want to… I don’t know it just hurts.” He sobbed.
“How about some pain reliever?” Carol suggested and Kurt nodded his head. “You’ll probably have to eat something to keep it down though. Do you think you can do that?”
“No,” Kurt choked out. He didn’t want to be sick anymore and he wasn’t taking any chances.
“Okay, well how about this?” Carol started to suggest. “Let’s do this. Let me check out your ankle. If it is dislocated like you think it is then I will try to pop it back into place. I’ve done it many times before but it will be extremely painful. In the case that it doesn’t work, we’ll need to take you to the hospital but let me try first. After we tend to that, you can go and take a bath and change your clothes. Once you’re done I’ll come in and bandage your wrist and will give you an ankle brace. Tomorrow I’ll go out and get you an air cast and that will relieve the pressure that you put on there. You’re going to have some kind of medicine for all of this or else you’re just going to feel even worse so you’re going to have to eat something for me, okay?” Kurt reluctantly nodded his head.
“After that, we’ll let you sleep and we’ll just see how you feel in the morning. Hopefully you feel a little better. Does that sound like a good plan?” She asked him.
“Yes,” Kurt answered, trying to figure out how long all of this would take so he could hurry up. He just wanted to skip to the step where he could go to bed even though he was drenched in rain, sweat and blood.
“Okay, so let me see your ankle.” She told Kurt who held out his ankle for her. She carefully took his shoe off and then his sock to reveal a swollen, dislocated ankle.
“Yep, definitely dislocated but it looks like it will be an easy fix.” She told everyone. “Now, like I said, this is going to hurt badly. You may scream, you may vomit, you may pass out but once I get it back in place it will feel much better. Are you ready?”
“Yes,” Kurt told her when he really meant no. He didn’t want to vomit again let alone scream or faint. Hopefully he said quiet, with his mouth shut and his eyes open.
“Okay, I’m going to fix it on three. One… two… three.” She said and snapped his ankle back into its socket.
“OH MY GOD,” Kurt shouted. He knew it was going to hurt but it felt like, he didn’t even know, it hurt that bad. His vision became blurred with tears and he squeezed his brother’s hands tightly.
“There, you’re all done.” Carol told him. ‘Thank god,” Kurt thought. “You did good.”
“Thanks,” Kurt said, bitterly.
“Okay, now for step two. Finn, Sam, can you help Kurt upstairs? I need to get all the supplies.” She asked the other two boys who nodded their heads. They both stood up and Sam bent down so he could pick Kurt up bridal style and Finn led them up the stairs to Kurt’s room. Once they were inside, Finn shut the door and Sam placed Kurt down on his bed.
“So, how do you want to do this?” Finn asked him. “Can you stand long enough to take a shower?”
“Yes,” Kurt told him. He would try to anyway but he wasn’t going to have his brothers help him take a bath. He wasn’t a baby and he already knew how uncomfortable Finn would be. “I won’t take long just… please don’t leave,” He begged them both. He didn’t want to be alone right now.
“We won’t,” Sam promised him. “We’ll just wait in here, take your time,”
Kurt stood himself up and walked into his bathroom. He slowly bent down to get a towel from the cabinet underneath his sink and when he came back up he accidentally looked into the mirror and froze. Carol wasn’t kidding when she said he looked bad in fact that was an understatement. He looked horrible. Just like Carol had said, his right eye was black and swollen and his eyeball was bloodshot red. He had other bruises all over his body and his lip was busted. He didn’t even know how Blaine had managed to hurt him so bad.
Tears were starting to well in his eyes again when he snapped out of his daze and continued getting ready to take a bath. There were two doors in his bathroom, one that led to his bedroom and the other that led to his closet. He walked into his closet and went over to where he kept his lounge clothes because contrary to what everyone thought he did have those. It took him some time to find something warm enough for him to wear since he was freezing but he eventually found a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt that went together and took that with him back into the bathroom.
He turned on the hot water in his shower and took the rest of his clothes off. He tested the water to see how hot it was and when he was satisfied with the temperature, he got in. The water felt good on his body and it felt even better when he felt the blood and sweat wash off of him. He scrubbed his body with soap, careful to avoid any sore spots and then washed his hair, massaging his scalp. After what seemed to be about twenty minutes, Kurt turned off the water and carefully stepped out of his bathtub. He slowly dried off and put on his clothes before walking over to his sink and grabbing a brush to brush his hair. Once he was done with that, he brushed his teeth and thought about doing his skincare routine but decided against it. The shower had woken him up a little but the effect was wearing off and he still had things to do before he could sleep.
Kurt walked out of his bathroom and sat on his bed. Finn and Sam had been talking to one another, sitting around in Kurt’s room and quickly looked up when Kurt entered the room.
“Hey, do you feel any better?” Sam asked him, hopeful.
“Yeah, you look better,” Finn added and Sam nudged him in his rib. “Ouch, what was that for? He does look better, idiot.” Apparently Finn didn’t get the message.
“I do,” Kurt told them. It was true, he didn’t feel as sick anymore even though that was probably subject to change when he had to eat something and the shower had helped with some of the pain.
“Great, that’s great,” Finn said, acting weird. He had a strained smile on his face, like he needed to say something but couldn’t get it out. “That’s just fantastic,”
“Finn, are you okay?” Kurt asked him, raising his eyebrow.
“I think the better question is if you’re okay, Kurt,” Finn asked him, raising his voice a little and causing Kurt to flinch back.
“Finn calm down, you’re scaring him,” Sam warned Finn but Finn didn’t listen.
“No, you scared us Kurt. You weren’t returning anyone’s calls or texts, we called Rachel and Jeff and Sebastian and they all didn’t know where you were, Burt was about to call the police and then you show up, covered in blood and bruises and you don’t tell us who did this to you. It’s not okay, we deserve to know. We… we were…” Finn paused, looking up at the ceiling and taking a deep breath, “... I was scared, little bro. I thought you were dead or something. I know I was overreacting but… I don’t want to lose you,” He finished saying before breaking down into tears.
He went over to sit down on Kurt’s bed next to him and pulled him into a tight hug. Finn was squishing him and it hurt but Kurt didn’t pull away. Sam joined in on the hug and they sat there for a while, all three of them crying.
“Just, don’t scare us like that anymore, okay,” Finn said, pulling away from them.
“I’m sorry,” Kurt said, wiping his tears. “I didn’t mean to, I was just… I was upset and I was panicking. I didn’t know what I was going to tell you guys and I wanted to get home. I didn’t know what to do,”
“It’s okay,” Sam said, rubbing Kurt’s back. “I mean it’s not, it’s not okay that you got beat up but you’re safe now and we won’t let it happen again. It’d be helpful though if you could tell us who did it.”
“I can’t,” Kurt admitted, shaking his head. “I just can’t and I don’t want to talk about it, it’s hard to explain,”
“Okay. Well, do you want to talk about Blaine?” Finn asked him.
“No, I’m done with him. We had a falling out but I’ll be fine,” He partly lied. He wasn’t in love with Blaine, not anymore and he hadn’t been for a while but he wasn’t sure whether he would be okay or not.
“That sucks man,” Sam said. “I thought you guys were forever,”
“Yeah, but we’re on your side,” Finn told him. “I never liked him anyway,”
“I know you didn’t,” Kurt said, smiling a little. “Thank you,”
“Anytime,” Finn told him and then stood up. “I’m going to get my mom so she can wrap your stuff,” Finn left the room and Kurt noticed that Sam was staring at him with an expression that Kurt couldn’t put his finger on.
“Sam, are you okay?” He asked him. “You’re staring,”
Sam shook his head, snapping out of his trance. “Yeah I’m okay, sorry.” Sam paused before opening his mouth again. “I know it was him, Blaine I mean, who did this to you and I’m really sorry.”
Kurt stared at him with wide eyes before starting to cry again. “Sam, please don’t tell anyone,” He begged. “I’m so scared that he’s going to… hurt me again and I can’t let it happen. You have to promise me. Please.”
“Whoa, calm down,” Sam told him. “I won't, I promise, it’s just, I think you should tell someone. Your dad and Carol so they can call the police. He hurt you Kurt, why are you protecting him? He has a better chance of hurting you again if you don’t tell anyone.”
“I just can’t. I don’t want to deal with it right now. I can’t do that to my dad or Carol or Finn. I don’t want them to worry or… or think that I need extra protection because I got myself into this. Maybe I’ll tell them eventually but I’m not ready to yet.”
“I’m not letting him anywhere near you,” Sam said. “I promise. So, can you tell me what he did exactly?”
“We got into a fight,” Kurt said, hanging his head. “I don’t know how but apparently he gets jealous whenever I hang out with you or Sebastian or any other guy. He accused me of cheating and wanted to see my phone and I told him no and he got angry and hit me. It just got worse from there and he eventually kicked me out. He told me that he would call me when he was ready to but I told him not to because I was breaking up with him. Whether he’ll respect my wishes or not, I told him to act like he never knew me and to stay away from me. I just don’t know how that’s going to work if he decides to stay at McKinley. You know how persistent he is.”
“I’m sorry Kurt. I know I said I thought you guys were forever but I never liked how he treated you. Like you were his property and I should’ve said something. Maybe if I had then it wouldn’t have gotten this bad. I’m so sorry, I should’ve realized…”
“It’s not your fault Sam,” Kurt assured Sam, cutting him off med-sentence. “It was mine fault actually. I knew what he was doing was wrong but I didn’t stand up for myself. I didn’t call him out until tonight because… I thought that maybe I could change him or that it was just a phase. I thought that if I broke up with him that… I would never find anyone else that would love me. I guess I never found that person in the first place though.”
Kurt continued crying while Sam held him until Carol, Finn and Burt came into his room. Carol had a bunch of boxes with her and placed all of them on her bed. Finn had a banana and gave it to Kurt who looked at it like it was poisoned.
“You feeling any better, kiddo?” His father asked him and Kurt nodded his head. “Good, you’re doing great,”
“Okay, so I have an ace bandage for your wrist,” Carol said, holding up a box of bandages. “And then I have an ankle brace, it may be a little tight but that’s for the best to help keep everything in line and like I said, a boot will be your best option. You ready for me to wrap everything for you.”
Kurt nodded his head again and Sam let him go so he could face Carol. “Now all of this shouldn’t be as painful as earlier with your ankle and I’ll try my best to be gentle but let’s get this over with, okay?”
She kept her word when she said she would be gentle. She slowly wrapped his wrist and then slipped the brace onto his ankle and Kurt was relieved to find that the pain was only a seven out of ten.
“There, all done,” Carol exclaimed when she had finished. “How does it feel?”
“Fine,” Kurt told her and Carol nodded her head.
“Good. Now I need you to eat that banana so you can take this Tylenol. At least half of it so you can keep it down.” She said, pushing the banana and two pills towards him. “You can do it honey and then you can go to sleep, alright?”
“Okay,” Kurt said and he managed to eat half of the banana like Carol had told him to so that he could swallow the pills.
“Alright honey,” Carol said once he was finished. “I’m going to leave you alone so you can sleep now. You wake one of us up if you need anything okay?”
Once again, Kurt nodded his head and Carol gave him a hug before taking all her supplies and leaving his room. Next his dad came over.
“Night son,” His dad told him. “Hope you feel better tomorrow and just… get some rest and take it easy.” His dad awkwardly patted him on the back before leaving his room like Carol had and Kurt was upset with himself for being the reason behind his dad’s weird behavior.
The only two people left in the room were Finn and Sam who took their spots next to Kurt on his bed again. They sat there in silence, all trapped in their own thoughts. Finn and Sam didn’t want to leave Kurt alone and Kurt didn’t want to be left alone but no one knew how to go about saying it. Finally Kurt spoke up.
“Can you guys stay in here tonight?” He asked them. “Only if you want to, I just don’t want to sleep alone,”
“Of course,” Sam said, smiling along with Finn and Kurt laid down in his bed while Sam laid on to his right and Finn to his left. Kurt snuggled up against Sam and Sam wrapped his arms around Kurt while Finn did the same on the other side. Kurt felt safe in their embrace and let his tears fall down his face once more while he fell asleep. Things couldn’t get any worse than they already were… right?
Hello everyone and welcome to my new fanfiction. I was thinking of more ways that I could torture Kurt because I love him (it's a weird thing I do and I'm probably projecting my problems onto him in some way) and this was born so I hope you guys enjoy!! It is very sad and angsty but like all my stories it will get a happy ending :)
WARNINGS: One, this is not Blaine or Klaine Friendly and yes I do not like Blaine very much but I'll admit that this is out of character for him. So if you love Blaine and/or Klaine then this is not for you :( Second, this will continue topics such as psychological, mental and physical abuse, illnesses and mental health issues. If you are sensitive to these topics then I would not recommend reading this fanfiction but it is entirely up to you, this is just a heads up:) Third, this is an endgame Kurtbastian story but it is a slowburn and they don't have may interactions at first. This will change though so for the people that do love them, this is for you and for the people that don't then this is not for you :)
Please leave any comments, feedback or questions on here or on AO3 or FanFiction.Net, I love hearing from you guys.
Archive Of Our Own
(And yes, it is very late where I am right now but I needed t get this off my brain so your welcome to any fanfic readers who need something to read. I love you!!)
You Can Close Your Eyes To Things You Don’t Want To See But You Can’t Close Your Heart To Things You Don’t Want To Feel."- Johnny Depp
“What is your problem?”
When Blaine asked this question Kurt could feel his heart shatter into a million pieces. There had once been a time when Blaine thought Kurt was the most wonderful, perfect person in the world. But now… now there was something wrong with him. Something so dreadful and awful, something so repulsive that Blaine was yelling at him.
“Blaine, please.” Kurt begged his boyfriend. He had only seen Blaine get angry like this a handful of times but he knew how physical he could get. “Just calm down and we can talk this out.”
“No, don’t tell me to calm down,” Blaine shouted, making Kurt flinch. “You're keeping something from me. You’re a lying slut.”
“Blaine, you don’t mean that. You’re upset, don’t say stuff like that.” Kurt watched as Blaine closed his eyes and took a deep breath and thought that he was listening to him and was calming himself down. He was wrong though because when Blaine opened his eyes back up, they looked different. Violent and full of anger and resentment.
“Give me your phone,” Blaine demanded, holding out his hand.
“No, why would I do that?” Kurt asked, backing away from Blaine as he walked towards him, his fist clenched. “You don’t own me Blaine, I’m allowed to keep things to myself.”
“You’re acting guilty,” Blaine spat. “What are you hiding from me? You’re cheating on me aren’t you? Who’s it with? Sebastian, Nick, Sam? Who is it?” Blaine yelled. Kurt was now pressed up against the wall in Blaine’s bedroom, tears streaming down his face. Blaine got closer and closer to him until he was pressed up against Kurt, all up in his face.
“I’m not cheating on you and you know it.” Kurt told him and he wasn’t lying. “How could you even think that? Sebastian, Nick and Sam are my friends and they’re yours too, they wouldn’t do that to you. And Sam is straight.”
“Well if you aren’t cheating then why can’t I see your phone?” Blaine asked. Kurt was starting to get light-headed, his mind rushing with thoughts. He had nothing to hide but the fact that Blaine was asking him for his phone so he could look through all his texts and calls didn’t sit well with him. It was basically saying that Blaine didn’t trust him and that hurt him because he had never done anything to Blaine to make him not trust him. But then if he didn’t give Blaine his phone then Blaine would probably hit him and that would hurt even more.
“Because Blaine, it’s my phone. It’s my privacy. I may not have anything to hide from you but I’m not about to let you go through all my conversations just because you’re… upset or jealous. It’s not fair to me,” Kurt told him while avoiding his glare.
“What did you just say to me?” Blaine asked, poking his finger into Kurt’s chest. “You think I’m jealous? You think I’m upset? You don’t think I have any reason to be?”
“You don’t,” Kurt shouted but unlike him Blaine didn’t back away. He stood his guard, fists still clenched, that violent gleam still in his eyes. “I’m dating you and only you. I’m not cheating and I never will, Blaine. I lov… I’m with you.”
“You don’t love me.” Blaine said, lowering his voice to a disappointed whisper. “You can’t say that you love me.”
“No, Blaine that’s not…” Kurt started to defend his choice of words when Blaine punched him. Hard, in his jaw. And it wasn’t just one punch etheir. He knocked Kurt to the floor and when Kurt tried to back away from him, to get his stuff so he could leave before Blaine could cause anymore damage, Blaine striked again.
He took a fist full of Kurt’s sweater as he lifted him up in the air and punched Kurt below his right eye. Kurt’s head snapped to the side and then Blaine threw him down, into the wall causing Kurt to hit his head. The force of him knocking into the wall caused a shelf that had books on it to break and to fall onto Kurt’s face. The edge of one of the books hit Kurt right in the eye while the others hit various parts of his face.
“Blaine,” Kurt choked out. “Please stop, you’re hurting me.” He could barely move and every part of his body burned. The room was spinning, he felt nauseous, his head hurt and his right eye throbbed. What hurt the most was that all the pain was caused by his boyfriend, now probably ex-boyfriend, who used to hold his hand, who used to tell him how much he loved him. Were they even the same people now? Was this the Blaine that he had fallen in love with on the Dalton staircases or was this a different Blaine, jealous and cold-hearted?
“You don’t think I’m hurt Kurt?” Blaine yelled, tears of anger pouring out of his eyes. “You think I wanted to do that to you? I didn’t. I didn’t want to hurt you but you hurt me first. I can’t believe you.”
“Blaine, I don’t even know what I did wrong,” Kurt confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “You beat me up just because I wouldn’t let you go through my phone? I thought you… I thought you loved me.”
“I thought you loved me too Kurt but it’s obvious that you don’t.” Blaine said, breathing heavily. “You hang out with all these other guys, oblivious to how I feel about it and then you go and act like what you did wasn’t wrong. How could you do that to me? Do you have any idea how you made me feel?”
“I’m sorry,” Kurt told him, even though he knew he had nothing to feel sorry for. He wasn’t going to stop hanging out with his friends just because it made Blaine jealous and Blaine should know that. It wasn’t fair to anyone. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way but you… you should’ve talked to me about it instead of attacking me out of nowhere. Do you know how that makes me feel? You hurt me Blaine and this isn’t even the first time you’ve hit me. This isn’t you. Why are you acting like this?”
“Get out,” Blaine yelled. “How dare you? You can’t come in here and talk to me like that. You know what you did Kurt and… and I’ll never forgive you. I hate you. You’re nothing but a cheating, lying, fake whore. I’ve been there for you through all of the crap you’ve gone through and this is how you thank me. By acting like I have no reason to do the things I do or to feel the way I feel. Fuck you, get out of my goddamn house now.”
“Blaine, I didn’t mean to…” Kurt started but Blaine cut him off.
“Go,” He said, pointing to the door. “Don’t call me, don’t text me, I’ll call you when I’m ready to talk.”
“No,” Kurt said, hurt. This was Blaine’s last chance and he had blown it. This wasn’t the first time he had yelled at Kurt for no reason, this wasn’t the first time he had hit him. This wasn’t the first time that Blaine had made Kurt feel the way that he was feeling but it was going to be the last time. “You don’t call or text me. I don’t want anything to do with you Blaine. I’m done with you. We’re breaking up. I’ll return all of your possessions that I have to you but we’re through. I won’t tell anyone what you did to me tonight but it’s not for your sake, it’s for mine. You can stay at McKinley or you can go back to Dalton but if you choose to stay then you better stay away from me. Don’t act like you even know me.”
Kurt slowly stood himself up while Blaine stared him down intensely. He finally stood up straight when he felt a joint of pain shoot up his leg and he would’ve fallen back down if he hadn’t had catched himself on Blaine’s table. The pain had come from his right ankle and he looked down at it to see that it seemed to be dangling out of place. He almost puked right there at the disgusting sight but he wanted to get out of there as soon as he could. He carefully limped over to the door where he picked up his bag and opened the door. He turned back to Blaine who was still staring at him, the violent gleam in his eyes gone and instead he looked hurt and lost. Kurt wasn’t fooled though, Blaine was obviously acting. Trying to guilt Kurt into feeling bad for him so he would admit he was wrong because again, Blaine had tricked him like that before. Kurt didn’t feel guilty, he was the victim here. If anything Blaine should feel guilty and the fact that Kurt knew he didn’t broke Kurt even more.
“Goodbye Blaine,” Kurt said, coldly before he limped out of the door. He continued making his way out of Blaine’s house and when he made his way outside he realized that Blaine had picked him up from his house so Kurt didn’t have a ride home. What made his situation even worse was that it was pouring rain outside and Kurt didn’t have a jacket or an umbrella.
He would’ve called someone, Sebastian or Finn but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to tell them that he needed to be picked up without bursting into tears on the spot. He knew that the truth would have to come out eventually but he wanted to stall for as long as possible. He was going to keep his word and wasn’t going to tell anyone that it was Blaine who had beat him up but he needed time to come up with a lie, an excuse to protect his ex-boyfriend. It made him feel sick that he was protecting Blaine after what he had done to him. But then he realized that he was actually going to be sick and with that, ignoring the pain in his foot and all other parts of his body, he quickly ran away from Blaine’s front yard and threw up in the street. He tasted the blood that came up as he heaved and eventually fell down onto his hands and knees. He held his stomach as he continued to throw up until there was nothing left inside of him.
He was breathing heavily and was practically begging himself to keep it together and to not cry until he got, however that was going to happen. It wasn’t that far of a walk from Blaine’s house to his house but Kurt’s ankle was snapped and he felt so drained and faint. He slowly stood himself up again and clutching his bag in his hands, limped his way home. He looked down at his phone to see that it was already ten at night and seeing that it would probably take him an hour to get home, his family would probably be freaking out in about fifteen minutes. He was not looking forward to the many calls and texts that he would start to receive so he put his phone on silent and tried to focus on just getting to his destination.
He cleared his mind, feeling the cold rain fall on his face and the wind breezing around him. It was freezing, just something else to add to his nightmare. Wait no, not thinking about that right now, he needed to rid it from his mind. No thinking of Blaine or his dad or Finn or Sam. But then again everyone would eventually find out that they had broken up and of course Blaine would act like the victim and everyone would turn their backs on him. And when he got home and his dad saw the state that he was in, he would either have another heart attack or would demand to know who it was so he could shoot them with his shotgun. There would be the police and the ambulance and god, he did not want to go to the hospital no matter how much pain he was in. He would be much better off resting in his own comfy bed with his own pajamas on, not in some smelly, hospital bed with an itchy hospital gown on. All he needed was some sleep and some aspirin and maybe an ankle brace for his foot. Well, there went not thinking about it.
So while his mind was drifting through all the different reactions he would get from everyone he decided to focus on the one person he wanted the most right now, Sebastian. Sebastian was his best friend and if Kurt was going to tell anyone what had happened (which he was heavily debating on at the moment) then it would be him. Sure, Sebastian would be angry and upset and would want to go and kick Blaine’s ass but Kurt knew that once he told Sebastian that he didn’t want that, Sebastian would listen to him, which was more than he could say for anybody else. Sebastian would instead, cuddle in bed with Kurt and would comfort him whether Kurt needed or wanted to be comforted or not. Sebastian was a good friend and was the person that Kurt trusted the most.
That person used to be Blaine but as time went on, Blaine lost Kurt’s trust more and more. And now it was non-existent. Kurt didn’t even know what he had done wrong except apparently spending too much time with other guys but if that’s really all he did then Blaine was a hypocrite. How many times had he sat there at the Lima Bean while Blaine flirted with Nick and Sebastian, who knew that he was with Blaine and who knew how much it bothered Kurt. Nick and Sebastian weren’t even into Blaine, they simply had a platonic friendship but yet Blaine would stare at them with heart eyes and would tell stupid, cheesy jokes, trying to flirt. Yet Kurt spent time with Finn, Sam, Puck and the rest of the straight New Direction males and hung out with Nick, Sebastian, Jeff, Trent, Wes and David who were all just his friends and Blaine went and threw a fit. He blew everything out of proportion and made Kurt the bad guy. He was jealous of all the friends Kurt had when he knew how hard it had been for Kurt to acquire them in the first place and took it out on him. Blaine didn’t trust Kurt enough that he had demanded that Kurt give him his phone and when he had refused. Blaine had beaten the crap out of him. He thought Blaine was different but he was just like the other bullies that Kurt had endured crap from all his life and the worst part of all was that Kurt had thought that Blaine loved him. And Kurt thought that he had loved Blaine back. Well, he was wrong and he felt so stupid for thinking that anyone could truly love him. Maybe Blaine was right, maybe he was nothing. Because if his boyfriend could truly hate him, could hurt him both physically and emotionally in the way that he did when Blaine was known to everyone as one of the most gentle, caring people in the world then he must’ve done something wrong. Maybe he was wrong for hanging out with other boys but then again it didn’t matter now because they were broken up and Kurt was never going back to him no matter how lonely or unloved he felt. Blaine wasn’t worth it anymore.
Kurt continued making his way home, now just thinking about the sounds he heard. The cars, the wind, the rain, the animals. It was calming and peaceful and it helped him to remember to breathe. He eventually saw his house, dimly lit by the streetlights and quickened his pace a little so he could finally get home and could face everyone. He wasn’t ready but it wasn’t like he had any other options and he really needed to sit down, take some pain reliever and sleep. Change out of his clothes, take a nice, warm shower, washing all the blood off of him, tend to his injuries and wrap himself up in a blanket. He would probably stay in his bed all weekend if everyone let him, which hopefully he did because he needed it.
He reached his doorsteps and fished the keys out of his damp pocket before opening the door. All the lights were still on and he could tell that the television was on in the living room. Ignoring the footsteps that he heard, probably coming to see him, Kurt went into the kitchen, getting a wet paper towel and dabbing his face with it. Usually Kurt would never use such a rough material on his skin but it’s not like using a paper towel was going to make him look any worse than he already did.
He sat down on a chair and leaned forward, feeling faint, and put his face in his hands. He heard the footsteps grow louder and louder until they finally reached the kitchen and he heard a collective gasp. He didn’t turn around, didn’t show him that he actually looked worse than they thought and kept hiding his face in his palms, the first tears starting to form in his eyes. He hadn’t cried since everything had happened and there was no more trying to prevent it from happening. His body shook as the crying took over him and he felt arms wrap him up and embrace him. He looked up and saw that it was Sam while his dad, Carol and Finn stood in the doorway with their mouths wide open.
“What the hell happened?” He heard his dad and Finn ask at the same time and Kurt was asking himself the same thing. He didn’t answer them though, just sat at the table continuing to cry while Sam held him. He was in for a rough week.
I love Adam Lambert. I love Kurtbastian. Those things put together and I’m literally the happiest person in the world.
Like just imagine them singing songs some of his songs.
Strut- So hot and sexy, imagine them dancing around each other while singing 😎😎
Sure Fire Winners- Same as Strut but they’re like dressed up in black leather jackets and their hair is spiked up with sunglasses and Kurt has on laced-up black leather boots and they just bust into the choir room with fog machines while Finn plays the drums (kind of like “Start Me Up/ Livin On A Prayer) and it’s just the best 🤩🤩
Time For Miracles- Would be so cute and wholesome. Also could be Puckurt.🥰🥰
The Original High- This is my favorite Adam lambert song, period. This song fits Sebastian so well and I really want to hear him and Kurt hit that high note together and shove it right in the glee club’s faces.
Whataya Want From Me?- I can imagine them singing in the auditorium and Kurt’s all sad and depressed because he’s been through too much shit (seriously, they never gave him a break) and Sebastian's pleading with him to tell him what’s wrong and Kurt just tells him that he’s doing enough by just being there for him and they sing this song like, I’m crying all ready 😭😭😢🥰🥰
Fever- Same as Strut and Sure Fire Winner but maybe it’s like Sebastian singing this to Kurt to try and win him over and Kurt’s pouting and giving him his bitch face, trying to resists his charm but in the end he gives in and gets up to start singing and dancing with Sebastian and at the end they kiss each other
For Your Entertainment- Same as Strut, Fever and Sure Fire Winners, dressed up like rock stars with fog machines and they’re just dancing around the room while the glee club looks at them like they want to be them and they’re surprised that Kurt can sing Adam Lambert so well because they all ever hear him sing Broadway but Kurt shows them up, go Kurt!! 😮😮
If I Had You- Literally the perfect song that sums up the whole ship, I’m calling it, this is now their song
Outlaws Of Love- Maybe it Sebastian was at McKinley in early season 3 when Santana came out and if he was dating Kurt then they would sing this to her and it would be so much better than pfft Perfect with Blainers (unpopular opinion here but I’d say Perfect was one not that good)
Roses- This is such a Kurtbastian song, like they love each other but they hate each other at the same time and they’re so frustrated with themselves and one another because they don’t understand their feelings and then they sing this to each other and figure out that they’re in love 😘😘💖🌹🌹
Closer To You- I’ve always had a head canon that Kurt plays the piano even though Chris Colfer says he can’t play any musical instruments so just imagine the two of them sitting next to each other while Sebastian sings and Kurt plays the piano 🥰🥰
Like I ship Kelliot and I know that Adam played Elliot on the show but I can see Kurt and Sebastian literally singing all of these songs. I now have the idea to start a fanfiction series of Kurtbastian singing Adam Lambert. Tell me if you want that and I’ll do it (I’ll probably do it anyways). Also if I do do this then most of them will probably be with Sebastian at McKinley just because I didn’t like it when Kurt was at Dalton because he wasn’t himself.
I ranked the glee characters based on how I ship them with Kurt because I basically ship half the characters with him.
Kurtbastian, Hevans or Puckurt 😁😎😍😘🤩 should’ve been endgame and I’m very upset that it’s not!! Also yes I ship Kartie (Kurt and Artie) so don’t come at me, they’re cute alright. Just imagine Kurt sitting in Artie’s wheelchair and then try and tell me that they aren’t cute. They also should’ve shown us more Kadam or at least given us some Kelliot. If it wasn’t for the fact that Kurt and Finn are step-brothers then I would totally put them in my endgame because they’re cute. They did have an epic bromace though although we should’ve seen more of them together.
I love all of Kurt’s friendships. Kurt and the Unholy Trinity (ICONIC😎😍🥰 ). Kurt and Mercedes (I need that Bravo show that Sue was talking about😝😁 ). Kurt and Tina (not in season 4 though 😐). Kurt and Rachel (although it’s not as good as all the other ones). Kurt and Sugar (it’s a rare one but I love some of their background moments). Kurt and Unique (we saw so much Mercedes and Unique but it’s like they forgot that Kurt was Unique’s friend too). Kurt and Kitty (I see it although Kitty was a bitch to Kurt at first). Kurt and Lauren (Chris Colfer and Ashely Fink are like best friends in real life and I’m mad that they didn’t have a canon friendship 🙄😤). Kurt and Rory (although I do see Rory being Klaine’s child I like how Kurt stopped Santana from hitting Rory with the dodgeballs and the writers should’ve developed their friendship further). Kurt and Marley ( I also see it, kinda).
I see people ship Kurt and Jake but I don’t really see it, I like Puck and Kurt much better. Same thing with Matt. And I don’t ever want to see people shipping Joe or Ryder with Kurt ever.
I don’t ship Klaine or Kurtofsky. I’ll be like Klaine is my favorite canon ship but then I’ll also be like I hate Blaine, all the crack ships are so much better. The only reason I like Klaine is because it made Kurt happy (for the most part) but Blaine was a bad boyfriend, I don’t care what anyone else says🙄🙄 . As for Kurtofsky, I just don’t see it. Like after all the bullying and then how he threatened Kurt’s life I just don’t seem them as a couple. Sorry, not sorry to all the big Klaine or Kurtofsky shippers.
Sorry for the long explanation but to make a long story short, I ship basically all the male characters with Kurt. And I love Kurt, he’s my favorite character and he deserves so much better than (shudder) Blaine. They cheated him out of a happy ending by making Kurt marry Blaine, like they broke up two times, take it as a sign.
Ahhh... nothing like going through the kurtbastian tag from 4am to 6am and feeling the uncontrollable urge to chuck Blaine off the roof of a tall, tall building