𝐫/𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐰𝐧 🏰
If you’re considering, currently in, or used to be in a long distance relationship, come chat and play on Discord: discord.gg/fQsfwa6
If you get to sleep next to your significant other every night, please count your blessings
I am so in love with you
I really am
When I hold your hand, I can feel, that you’re the one for me.
I can feel that the world stops and I can hear that it tells me, to keep you close.
When you look at me, I feel like I’m the prettiest girl on earth.
And when you touch me I can barely breath.
When I see you walking towards me at the train station my heart jumps up and down in my chest, like a bouncy ball.
And when you kiss me right there right then, I feel more happiness than anyone can handle.
But you give that to me. You really do.
When I am with you, I feel whole.
And I’m longing for you when you’re gone.
I’m missing you so, so bad. You don’t even know.
But I know that I’ll see you again very soon.
I count the days.
Just two Mondays, two Tuesdays, two Wednesdays, two Thursdays and only one Friday, one Saturday and one Sunday. Because the second one I get to see you.
So I count.
I’m still tearing the love and memories from last weekend. And I am still floating at least one meter above the ground. That past weekend was worth all the waiting. I couldn’t really sleep though because I missed you next to me. It’s funny how I always get used to it so fast. One weekend you’re holding me, the next day I cannot sleep without your grip.
I feel like I would already love to see you again. But I know, it’s just two weeks. I can do it. I know you already miss me too. I can feel that you love me the same way as I love you. And you manage it. So I can too.
We call and I know I’ll be fine until next week. We talk for hours and hours. I love talking to you on the phone. Hearing what’s new, what has happened these past days already. Hearing your voice is making me ache for you even more, but in some way it also stimulates me and I know it just two weeks.
The week is already almost over. I tell myself that. Tomorrow in a week is the day. I live through the day by telling me that it’s just a few more days.
Only one more week.
Just seven more days.
I’m going to meet some friends, so I’m trying to be too busy to miss you in everything that I do. And for a few hours it works. I still think about you but I don’t miss you too bad because I have company. My friends are there to keep me busy. But eventually I see something, or eat something, or feel something that reminds me of you.
I study. So that I can get my degree and eventually move in with you in a few years. That’s when I realize, it’ll be like this for at least 3 more years. But I know we can do this. We’ve made it this far. We love each other so very deeply, we’ll make it through.
I already mady it through a whole week. What are five days more. Nothing right? I start to write down what happened last week so that I can tell you everything without missing anything next weekend.
I’m starting to hate this long distance thing. I’m starting to miss you so bad that I don’t even really know what or who I am without you.
I’m telling myself that distance is not so bad. That I feel the love even more because of that. And that I cherish you even more. And I know that that’s true.
I know I’m right. I know that I love you and that seeing you again tomorrow is the best. I know that this weekend will be better than the ones before, because it always is. I know that seeing you again tomorrow is worth waiting a lifetime.
The day is finally here. I just have to sit on the train for a few hours. And than I can finally feel your hands ony face. I can feel your lips on mine. I can feel your love for me.
I know that’s where I belong.
I am so in love with you
I really am
the fact that she lives seven hours away and isn’t cuddling me right now is homophobic idc what anyone says
tw // suicide mention
people don’t understand what it’s like.
so many people know about me and lex and what our relationship is like. how we met and how little time we get together. but nobody truly understands what it’s like.
there’s so many people who try to give me advice on stuff and they all mean well, surely, but… none of you really get it. of course you don’t, you’re not in this situation.
i’m sure everyone means well when they tell me to just be realistic and that the trip to lex i have planned might just not work out and that there’s a next time, there’s next year.
there’s not gonna be a next time or a next year because i’m suicidal as fuck and every slight inconvenience already makes me think about Top 10 Ways To End Your Life Painlessly, even though i don’t want to. even though i know that saying “i’m gonna k*ll myself” if it’s just sth like me being late for work because the bus was late sounds like i’m an overly exaggerating attention seeker; it’s sadly the truth.
so you see how i handle (or don’t handle) minor inconveniences. not seeing my girlfriend for TWO whole years? Boy.
we haven’t even been together for two years, literally we’re about to hit 1.5 years in december. i can’t wait a duration that’s longer than our entire relationship thus far until i’ll see them again.
but i don’t know how to do it. i don’t know how to safe up enough so i can pay my mom back what i owe her and have enough to book the plane ticket within the small timeframe i have. i’m already skipping uni to work at the one job i have that pays terribly, i’m already putting in applications for a second job every day with no positive results. i’m already doing so much and working so hard for this, not buying food to save up just a little more- and i don’t know how to do this. i really don’t know.
and all to hold lex’s hand just once.
[end: 1:46 am. this text makes no sense it’s just brain barf really.]
I have someone in my life now, and it’s… strange. I met him in a channel of discord my friends made me join, and he was the most hilarious guy ever. At first I pretended to hate him since he made a rude comment but days later I decided to change it and tell him I liked him now (as a person, not romantically). Anyways, somehow we ended up talking and we found that we have a lot in common. We love tloz, anime, drawing, art, cooking, and Japanese; I hadn’t met a guy who loved the same things as me with as much passion as I do, this is why I jokingly called him Mr. Perfect.
I knew he had a girlfriend and I was fine with that, I flirt with my male friends in a platonic way, because I know nothing will ever happen between us… but with him it started to be different. About a week in I started to have feelings for him, even if I don’t know much about him.. I would daydream about him, wait impatiently for his reply. One day I made the mistake to post something about it in my private story, and I forgot I had added him to the list. I ended up telling him and two days later it turned out he also had feelings for me but he had to tell his girlfriend about it. I don’t know how things went on, but I felt guilty, even if he told me it wasn’t my fault.
Three weeks in and he told me he broke up with her, and asked me out… I said yes. I know all this is too soon, and I don’t know much about it but I really enjoy his company and affectionate messages. I really like him and I want to keep him near me but there are some things we need to consider. He lives far away, almost on the other side of the country, he has an associates degree when I am going for my bachelors, he is older than me (although I don’t mind this), and lastly religion. I don’t mind that part all that much for in order for my family to accept him he has to be from the same religion. I don’t want to tell my family since they will doubt the veracity of everything, and I don’t tell the anything about my love life anyways. They don’t want me to have a boyfriend and I don’t know what the hell to do. Should I tell him about all these things, or should I tell him once things become more serious? Should I wait and see if this keeps going on or clarify things from the beginning? I am so confused, I want to keep him close, I really want to date him, I mean I already am, but I don’t know what is the best for us.
I just don’t want to hurt him…
i am so grateful for your existence ♡
You were away one time
And I was awake at 3:00 in the morning, unable to get to sleep
I called, and you answered because you were already awake,
Like you knew I would need you.
And we didn’t talk
Rather we stayed on the phone and listened to the sounds from each other’s room
Until you told me that I needed sleep, that everything was all right
That you would never leave me.
She brought up needing to have ‘the talk’ at some point.. the one concerning who would move to who. I love this woman 🪐
Plus, I just started the Avengers series (doing the whole chronological thing) and I need some company. Why do we have to live 5 hours away
I ask how I can be so lucky to have someone like her to call mine. For, she is beautiful, inside and out and makes me smile and laugh each day…
and then I ask how I can be so unlucky to find someone who I love so much and want to spend all my time with, yet she is so very far away.
This girl drives me insane.
She is everything I’ve ever wanted. She makes me feel this feeling of love that I’ve never felt before. She brings me joy in the hard times. She never fails to put a smile on my face even if I’m sad as can be. Even though we’re miles apart, she’s already touched me in unimaginable ways. She is my world. My stars, my moon, my universe. I would do anything for her. My future with her is what I dream of the most. She has changed me. She is my love. Forever.
—K.J. - 11.17.19
Dropped you off at the airport. More months and miles between us. ‘See you soon,’ you said with a broken smile, tasting of a faded morning. Not soon enough, I thought and held on tighter. The gate called, I had to let go. You wavered, water in your eyes, a whisper of words, ‘not yet, just a little longer.’ Then walked away, reluctant. My heart waffled, resigned.
One quiet, lonely ride back home. An empty passenger seat. To an empty bed still unmade in the shape of you. Knees pulled up. Your pillow to my chest. Earbuds in. Sad music on.
Let’s never do this again.
I’m not made for goodbyes.
It is just weird. I don’t know. I don’t feel alright but not that kind of bad don’t feel alright. It is just not alright either.
I start questioning myself if my life decisions were right. Was it Right to move to Hamburg or was it the right decision to study psychology and not something else like architecture or design? Was it right I left boyfriend, family and friends behind me?
And I then I remember myself that I can’t know that. Not now. It will take time to grow.
So I am back at feeling a little bit numb like before. Wondering why I wondered. Just feeling like everything just not really necessary. Why am I worrying? For what? I can’t know yet and when I do, it’s to late to rewrite it.
So what is the point? Is there any point?
Maybe that is how it feels right now. A little bit pointless.
The only thing I do, is going on with life. Stand up, stay strong for ur self. Feeling nothing at all.
Wanna be sad but I can’t because I don’t care anymore.
Wanna feel happy but I can’t then even when I feel happy it is not for long and I am back at this pointless stage, wondering & questioning.
So what now? I asked myself. I don’t know. I answered.
How would it be if I stayed? Would I be living with my boyfriend in Dresden now? Studying design? Or would I still be at home taking a year of?
I know it was right to move here. It is something new. It is different. It is not home or Dresden. Every time I am coming home, I realize why I left. It was not me.
The problem is that Hamburg doesn’t feel like me either. It is better than at home but I feel not home in Hamburg. Maybe not yet. Maybe it is because I lost contact to my hood.
I feel like a bird who flew a way from his tree, where all the birds were, he knew and loved but the tree was not really his thing.
I needed something knew. I wanted to free myself. Doesn’t wanted to get stuck in this place.
But humans are animals who live in a social group and even if I found nice people here. Maybe friends by now, I still lost my old friends. That was hard and still is. Even if I know that they are still there for me. But u can’t get around the consequences of distance. I know. One day some of my old friendships will fall apart, my relationship too and to know that, kinda sucks. No, it really sucks. Because right now I am sitting here, knowing the end of the book, feeling useless, feeling numb. Can’t change it, not even motivated at all. Just knowing: Nothing is forever, doesn’t it?
More privately I think about why I feel so numb. Why I don’t care anymore.
Maybe because I got used to it.
Got used to be alone, don’t see, feel or even talk to my boyfriend.
Got used to don’t see my friends in real life anymore. Eat pizza and talk talk talk. I mean even we talk and that makes me happy. The feeling that somebody cares.
I got used to see my cat just over Snapchat & that I can’t enjoy mums cocking with my family when it’s dinner time. I am alone now and try to cook like her but I am not a cook like her. Maybe not yet. Just started but still miss it kinda.
But that is what u do, when u miss something and u can’t have it. U ignore it. U ignore it until u don’t care about it anymore.
I guess that is what happened with me. It may not explain everything but a piece of it.
I am afraid to go back.
I am afraid, that I start to care again. That I miss them again. That I miss him again.
But then I am here alone again. (And he don’t care).
Am I able to ignore it again?
when are you coming home? comic-
Quisiera pasar mis días contando tus pecas y tus pestañas.
Quisiera no pensar en que va a pasar después.
Sólo disfrutar(te) por el tiempo que me queda.
Me gustaría saber que nada nos limita, que sí quisieras te podrías quedar conmigo.
Quiero que este sunday kind of love no se nos acabe.
But I wish it was him
I wish he was playing with my hair
Kissing my neck and cheeks.
Tracing my ass with his fingers
Whispering how much he wants me in my ear