one of my most favorite things to do for several years in a row was to put together your birthday gift. I had so much fun thinking of all my favorite things about you and all the things that made you you, so pleased at the idea of bringing you joy and helping you to feel seen as I carefully wrapped the gifts and added a little note to each one. this year, I won't be doing that.
it's shocking how much I miss it. more than I anticipated. except... would I even know what to get you now? do I even know you anymore? it's occurring to me that... I guess I don't. and you don't know me.
my life has undergone such massive change over the last few months. I am experiencing a major transformation, and you aren't here to see it. you were there for whole of my story - the struggle, the pain, the fear - but you're missing the conclusion. I'll never get to show you how it all turned out. I think you'd be proud of me, if you knew.