#loss Tumblr posts

  • I wake up at 4:30am desperately clutching at my phone to call you, only to realise your phone wouldn’t even ring

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  • Dark screams echo in the void of my mind.

    Demons claw at the empty cavern of my chest.

    The Dead grab my ankles as I walk; they tempt me.

    The Ghosts of agony clutch at my throat

    And the Whispers of misery force their way into my ears

    And the internal Hell, burning its way through my body, brings choked tears to my eyes.

    My screams are silenced behind a stoic face, as I stand above, staring down. 

    I curse the Heavens, but it seems that only the Devil can hear me now. 

    My own special, silent, torture.

    They lied. Grief is no real thing. 

    You only feel the pain of the dead, as you die slowly from the inside out.

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  • Hello everyone, Please check out some of my poetry on my social media platforms.

    Instagram: @_latoyamartin

    Twitter: @latoyasmartin

    Website: latoyasmartin.com

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  • One Art by Elizabeth Bishop

    Earlier this year I decided to try my hand at panel layout and this was the result! 

    #one art#elizabeth bishop#poetry#illustration#panel illustration#art#loss #the art of losing #just gonna lose everything then joke about it #what a mood #haha losing everything I care about is an easy art lol #*finger guns*
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  • Poem — Wish You Were Here

    I can’t wait anymore

    I miss you too much

    I said I’m sorry already

    What else will it take to bring you back?

    I don’t want to cry anymore

    My body is already aching

    My knees crumble like the cookies I’ve made without you

    No love to hold them together

    Even the gingerbread man is crying

    Tears as white as the snow we used to play in

    I made a snow angel back then

    That angel became you

    It hurt to let you go

    No tinsel on the tree could equal the weight of my grief

    No hand to hold, but I hope you’re happy

    Either way, it’s not the same without my friend so dear

    I cry wiping off the dinner table that no one came to eat at

    I wish you were here

    But it’s hard to travel when you can’t breathe

    My hope, my joy, I miss you

    Your smile, your silhouette, I want to see you again

    Even if it’s just one last time

    I wish I could have said goodbye

    I’ll fall asleep on my couch, going to Christmas Eve church all alone this year

    My tears fueling salty embers over the fireplace, even Santa couldn’t grant my wish

    I wish you were here

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  • The ruins of me aren’t beautiful or romantic. They don’t inspire awe or wistful nostalgia.

    It’s a maze, you see. 

    Fractured and bloodstained from all my escape attempts. There are traps everywhere – gaping holes in the earth where vital pieces of me once proudly stood.

    The graveyard is to the left, filled with all the things I used to believe in, and the possibilities of who I might have become.

    A battered altar still stands on the highest ground – surrounded by souvenirs that take the shapes of everything I used to fight for, all the causes I suffered for.

    The fires that ravaged their way through me are still burning in pockets of scorched embers.

    Legend has it, if you listen hard enough, you can still hear me screaming.


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  • Just got word that my grandfather passed away from covid this morning. In shock to say the least.

    Stay home. Wear a mask. Wash your hands.

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  • “The word that best expresses the sense of absence or vacuum left by such losses is iarmhaireacht, the loneliness you feel at cockcrow, when you are the only person awake and experience the existential pang of disconnection, of not belonging.

    I had never quite noticed that tinge of sadness I felt as a child when awake before anyone else—a mix of elation at the tranquil beauty of the scene and regret at having no one to share it with—until my grandmother taught me iarmhaireacht one morning when I was seven. She caught me unwrapping a sickle shortly after dawn to go out back and hack the grass back from oaks I had planted.

    I was aware of the word díláthair, which meant absence—but not the absence felt by an early riser or a distant lover or anything of that kind. Instead, díláthair referred to the absence felt when something or somewhere has been depopulated or destroyed by other human beings. It is the feeling the next generation will experience in a world without coral reefs or glaciers. It’s also the feeling our descendants may have when they realise that we willingly chose not to pass this language on to them.”

    —Manchán Magan, Thirty-two Words for Field

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  • today i thought of my poem, “i dream that my teeth fall out at night”, which was shortlisted for the Literary Lancashire Award and published in the LLA Anthology 2019. i wrote it in a very dark time in my life and it made me so, so tearful to see it in print!

    tw: loss, death, suicide.

    dear A,

    i dream that my teeth fall out at night

    and i swallow them,

    one by one.

    my teeth scratch the insides of my throat

    and i choke on them.

    i wake up crying,

    cover my mouth and scream into my fingers,

    pushing my hands into my forehead,

    as if i’m trying to pull my mind out of my head.

    it’s been one month since your funeral.

    dear A,

    i am crying all the time now.

    i cry for you in the shower

    i cry for you in front of my untouched breakfast

    i cry for you in toilets in metro stations

    i cry for you gracelessly doing my make-up

    i cry for you when i wash my hair with blueberry shampoos

    i cry for you when i read your messages, the 67th time.

    i cry and i long for you,

    i cry and i long for you.

    dear A,

    some days

    i cry less and i eat apples

    some days

    i wear red and buy you flowers.

    some days

    my mind blocks my pain

    and i am better.

    some days

    my friends make me laugh

    and i find comfort in being alive.

    i dread those days.

    those days my head swims in guilt

    and my shame thumps in my ears.

    those days i feel myself forgetting you

    and i wish i could glue your eyes to my mind.

    when those days end,

    i break my mind with photos of you

    and i dream of melting.

    dear A,

    i’m soaking in loss and i’m chanting buddhist mantras

    dear A,

    they say that i should surrender my grief

    they say that we are bound together,

    even if i heal

    but how can it be

    when you only exist through my pain

    dear A,

    i am willing to suffer each day for you

    so you do not to die again.

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    You know the drill! An innocuous-enough dream that upon waking slaps you straight across the face.

    I’ve always been an other worldly type dreamer. And I guess now that still stands. But leave it to grief to flip the whole goddamn script.

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    Planned and logged all my food for next week. I still have to do dinners but I took an extra step and checked out how much protein and carbs I have left after breakfast, lunches and dinners to plan.

    I’m trying.

    I’ve gotta get back on track.

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  • image

    Originally posted by 1angelicfool

    When you lose someone close to your heart, it takes so much to heal the pain.

    On this day 5 years ago, my goddaughter passed away just shy of 8 months old. This day vividly brings back the pain and trauma of finding out the news. Every year I try to convince myself that I’ll be able to cope, but it hits hard from the moment I wake up, remembering that text I received confirming the news.

    Everyone experiences the heartbreak of loss, whether it’s a friend, family member or even from a celebrity death that hits them hard. I guess why I’m writing this here is to share how I have coped over the last 5 years, not just in the anniversary, but on those days that have been harder than others.

    My advice is try not to let the pain build up inside. I’ve always tried to stay strong and put on a brave face over the years and it just causes more pain. Whether it is from talking to friends, family, or a trusted friend or partner who just “gets you” and understands you.

    Look after yourself and your mental health.

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  • December 2020

    And just like that, we’re in December. Another month has passed, and I find myself at the end of another year. A year that has been full of so many twists and turns, so many ups and downs, that I am still left a bit shaken at how I have arrived here and how I managed through it all. The worst of it all has probably been the glass shattering reality of what I once thought to be my dream job.

    Sitting here thinking about yesterday and thinking about going back in today, fills me with nothing but regret, sadness and anxiety. There was a time when I was thrilled at the prospect of this work, when I thought i could do this for the rest of my career, but now here I am having been shaken to my core, my roots turned, my flowers fallen off, stood here alone.

    The worst thing about yesterday was perhaps the discontent I felt from my seniors. As a new employee they failed to make me feel welcome, and they failed to help introduce me into the department. I was left to find my own way and manage without much support. Which then meant that I was faced with problems it was upto myself to sort them out. And the entire was simply exhausting, having to pull myself together and stop myself from falling apart, was simply put exhausting. 

    And I simply dont know if I have it in me to keep doing this for another 7 weeks.

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  • If only you could hear how your name plays on repeat every night in my head of how I‘d give you the whole world if you let me. If only you knew how much you mean to me and that the fact that you‘ll probably never be part of my life again is breaking my heart in a way that it has never been broken before. But you‘re making memories with someone else now and it‘s not my smile that makes your heart beat anymore. Your favorite word is her name now and I don‘t even know who ‚she‘ is but I hope that she will try to give you the world just like I would if you‘d let me. I wish I could tell you what you really mean to me but I have no other choice than to laugh and act like your words don‘t cut like knives through my flesh and how your absence doesn‘t make my soul ache. I hope she makes you happy and I‘m sorry that I couldn‘t. Goodbye.

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  • for followers who have lost close loved ones, how long does it take before you’re done having nights that completely overwhelm you with grief?

    #Loss#grief #it’s been 3 months and I’m a wreck tonight
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  • I’ve learned the hard way that you can
    love someone for years
    and they can destroy you in seconds,
    I’ve lost some people in my life
    that I wish I didn’t
    and I’ve made a lot of mistakes,
    All that aside,
    I’ve got so much to be grateful for too
    like working on my spirit
    and allowing myself to finally soar

    - Emma Victoria

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