I have women all around me,
but I cannot capitalize on anything
that gets my foot in the door
for some form of human contactI want to be held, I want to hold
I want to wrap my body around someone,
and for them to do the same to me.I miss making out and having sex in the shower
I miss feeling weightless in someone’s presence
I miss the subtle sparks of romance coupled with rough sex
I miss spontaneously combusting from just being looked atI once had something
that made me feel alive,
alert, and ready to wake up
every single fucking morningI can only hope that things work out, and work out soon
I’m dying here emotionally
I am losing what passion I may still have leftI listen to love songs
in hopes of finding happiness
and pleasure
from hearing about others and their success
in finding another to satisfy their wants,
their needsI feel like it’s a shallow thing to do;
to not look just for love, but for sex tooThough how long would it take to feel stable if I were to become infatuated over someone else?
How long would that last before another relationship ends again and find myself saying these exact words?
How can I feel alive again?4Rainy Days & Mondays Always…
Rainy Days & Mondays Always…
… Rarely affect me. Unless it is to spawn disturbed characters such as those in Disturbed Affections.
Three short stories and two deranged love affairs.0Chapter 10
TW: Non explicit violenceWaking up this time wasn’t as confusing. He could tell he was no longer dreaming only because of the glitches that occasionally jumped into his vision, as well as the quiet sound of a computer startup that always accompanied him when he woke up.
Yet, the warnings in his dreams were still vague.
Sometimes you’re going to have to let go? Don’t let go of hope? Why had Lust or Hearts, whatever his name is kept referring to a mistake? Why had Gaster told him not to regret? Why did Gaster also talk about a mistake?
That warning Core gave him a few days ago at Ccino’s was ominous too.
2Chapter 9
TW: Mention of study of corpses, non explicit melting of characters
Just as Lust had said, for a while, it was a struggle. Both inside the lab and outside.
He did his best to try and keep some of Gaster’s memory alive, coaxing Papyrus to try more recipes and learn to cook more and trying to teach him Wingdings. Just as before, Papyrus was quick to learn to cook but still struggled with Wingdings.
In the back of his mind, Core’s warning rang: “Sometimes you’re going to have to let go,” Yet, how could he let go of his father? The man who had raised him? Who inspired him to go into the field of science?
When he confronted Lust with these thoughts and questions, Lust confessed that it might be time he let go. Although his lover was quick to clarify that he didn’t need to forget Wingdings or abandon his father’s memory, but he needed to stop trying to bring back what he lost.
1Chapter 8
TW: Character death
The next day, nearly a full month after the Royal children died, tragedy struck again. This time there wasn’t any warning, Sci just had to watch as Gaster tripped and fell into the CORE.
There was a bright flash, and for a moment, he was in a dark void. He didn’t even have time to look around before he woke up in his bed.
His room looked different though, his mattress no longer on the floor but on a bed frame towards the center of the room instead of stuffed in the corner. His floor lamp still sat by his bed, but his desk was centered on another wall, and his bookshelf looked like the one Gaster has. He didn’t even have his treadmill in his room either. He had a second door too, slightly ajar, showing a private bathroom, something he definitely didn’t have before.
What happened?
1Chapter 7
Soon after everyone got the cure, Ace was able to bring them all up onto the surface. Everyone was stunned, as they all saw the real stars for the first time under the dim light of the moon. For the night, they stayed in tents, although many struggled to sleep and even more stayed outside to marvel at the stars.
Sci and Lust were two of those people.
With Sci laying on his back, and Lust cuddled into his side, they gazed at the galaxies above them, but despite the beauty, he couldn’t focus on it.
Why was Core so bent on pushing him down a specific path? What’s with the warnings? What about Lust’s hesitation?
“…Are you alright, darling?” Lust softly asked, Sci sat up, shrugging. “How about we go somewhere more private and talk?”
0Chapter 6
TW: Injections
Core’s word’s still confused him, then again, everything was beginning to confuse him. He felt as if there was a deeper plot hidden from him. Why would Core explicitly direct his path? Why would they warn against not listening?
Lust’s hesitation wasn’t helping his spiraling thoughts. Why couldn’t Lust tell him anything? Why did it feel like Lust was hiding something from him? Were things going to get better?
Core had made it clear they and Lust were already acquainted, would it be a long shot to say they’re plotting something? If so, what? Would Lust plan something behind his back?
1i fall in love with people ive never even talked to, i make up fake scenarios and i fall asleep thinking about them, i have already had so many dreams. what a sad existence i live.
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