ahh back to restricting at last, here’s what i ate today.
lunch dad pulled into burger king which i was not happy about. i got a small crispy chicken value meal with a diet coke. i only at about a third of the burger and a few chips. still i estimated about 250 cal just for that :/
snack: i had a pot of tuna, 145cal
chocolate chip cookie: 140cal
dinner: nachos. just ate the beans without any chips. i didn’t eat much. about 180??
it’s a start.
i can feel myself go stupid but i can't fucking eat.
me online: mhhh yeah imma go up to 750, maybe even 1000 who knows, we gotta get those caaals
me offline: bitch who tf u think u r the weather is good we're gonna spend the whole day outside walking and you'll get nothing okay maybe buy an apple or sum shit but 750?? oh you fucking clown.
i can't wait to get my hand tattooed some day. sigh. also please ignore my blue fingers, it's from my rings.
today. i will. do 750-1000kcal. i already had breakfast so that's a better start than yesterday. i reeeally really don't wanna fuck up my metabolism. but eating somewhat "normally" is so hard it's ridiculous.
Yk, I know I've actually lost fat because I lost 2cm of my stomach, 4cm at my thighs and 1cm at my calves
I realized I havent done one of these yet so I might as well do it now.
My name is Xavier and I'm 17 years old.
CW: 101kg/ 222lbs (?) (I dunno I dont have a scale)
Feel free to DM me, I wanna make some friends! <3
I started doing 20 hour fasts and I've been doing really good. Now all of a sudden I wanna do a 7-day fast, wish me luck, I hope I can at least go a full day. wish me luck 🧍♂️
Them: "Men want women with curves"
Me: "sorry i Don't care what men like I want to be built like a chopstick ,thanks"
i tried to eat like a normal human today. and it got me fucking nowhere. my stomach hurts so fucking bad, and i look horrible. my stomach is bloated and gross, my arms are gross, my legs are gross, my chin is gross. i look awful in my new dress and the waist cinch does nothing but accentuate the fact i look like im goddamn expecting. i hate myself. i wish i was dead. im heinous. my mother was right, she always was. how could i have possibly thought i would look pretty in my new sundress? im a fool. a disgusting, gross, heinous, fool.
maybe i have enough self hatred to fuel a fast for longer than 24h :)
I just wanna be so small my boyfriend feels like he has to protect me.
26 de julio del 2021
Ayuno: 19 horas
can we all just collectively agree that bloating is literal satan spawn and is horrifically triggering ?