#medical neglect Tumblr posts

  • listen don’t send hate to people who probably don’t know better, but that “sent to the ranch” thing is kinda problematic. like kids legit get abused at these troubled youth places.

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  • Confession #5, 298

    They didn’t give me, food, water, drugs, or a room for 6 hours while I was unresponsive due to pain. Just curled up in a chair in the hallway, vomiting and crying. I couldn’t speak up for myself because I was in so much pain. I didn’t think that I had trauma due to medical neglect and then I had a flashback when I put my head on a pillow with paper sheets. I don’t know if I deserve to call it trauma, but- yeah.

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  • Have you been misled…? // What is PACE? // Medical Scandal [CC]

    Jessica talks about flaws in standard treatment for CFS/ME patients and medical ableism.

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  • I’m setting up a LinkedIn profile for job-search purposes and I’m trying to figure out how to put “points out that it’s super ableist to not provide pain medication to developmentally disabled people during painful procedures” into language that is attractive to nursing recruiters.

    #ableism#medical neglect#pain#medical abuse#actually disabled #I think I might go with advocates for patientsv
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  • it took me 4 hospitalizations, 1 residential inpatient stay, 3 outpatient psychiatrists, and 5 outpatient therapists to finally find someone who’s actually listening to me instead of making their own assumptions and immediately invalidating me

    what the fuck is wrong with the rest of you? why were you so fucking willing to disregard your goddamn patients? why do you think so goddamn highly of yourselves that you’d rather treat your patients like shit on the bottom of your shoe?

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  • you’re a fucking psychiatrist, when i told you my suicide plan you shouldn’t have fucking told me how to improve it so it would work next time, you should have kept that knowledge to your fucking self, now every time i think about it i specifically plan it using what you told me

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  • Am I actually borderline, or did you just label me that way after I got overwhelmed and pissed off when you invalidated everything I was going through again and again and again and again and–

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  • OK at some point I must have heard the internalized voice of my mother criticizing something I really love, which my emotionally malnourished child self would have taken as a hit to my sense of identity and meaningfulness, which is probably why I suddenly feel so goddamn aimless.

    it really does make me Enjoy Things Less, man. fuck that shit. i know she didn’t mean to do it. that’s all i fucking heard! “I didn’t mean to” “I never meant it that way” “I’m sorry if…”

    and even just like, “I’m sorry.” that couldn’t. fix. anything. 

    nothing magically went away. nothing. none of the hurt. it felt good for a while to just get those two words, instead of a whole fucking story, and now it doesn’t feel good at all, apart from, well, she’s stopped like, telling the whole damn story to me, at least. now do still i feel like i’m living with the same damn internalized toxic stuff she offloaded onto me and confronting it with “she said sorry” actually feels… as cheap and ineffectual as it always did. 

    so, uh, what? i guess i just have to feel upset, but it isn’t an indicator that I No Longer Love Star Trek And My World Is Ending Cataclysmically. it’s more like, My Foundations Of Healthy Love Were Never Built And Now Unresolved Things From One Relationship Manifest In Other Relationships (With A Person Or Something Else In Life), Because This Was Presented As Normal During My Upbringing.

    “they fuck you up, your mum and dad. they might not mean to, but they do.” she liked that one. i understood it. as if it made any of the treatment i received alright.

    oof, ow, actually, yeah, that sounds pretty whack when i put it that way. that’s… why would you knowingly project your unresolved issues with your abusive mother onto your relationship with your child. 

    wait, something seems fishy.

    “I didn’t mean to” “I never meant to” c.f. all those stories that never got to the point but were, retrospectively, clear acknowledgement of “I’m aware I’m emotionally damaging you, but my mother did it to me, I love you really, I’m different to her”

    oh, I don’t like that. I don’t like that. That’s fishy. I don’t like that cycle of guilt-apology-love-incident-consequence-guilt. I recognize that. I reenacted that. That’s abuse. I know that’s abuse, because I was acting out unquestionably abusive behaviour. That’s the point you gotta acknowledge you’re unwell and get help. 

    Unfortunately, a whole inter-generational thing in my family has been medical neglect passed off as a fault of the party with less power in the dynamic. “You’re fine/overreacting/just lazy.” Also a massive suspicion of doctors and mental health services. “It’s a black hole/you’ll get dragged in/you’ll never escape.”

    Uh… the black hole is the cycle of abuse, if you don’t identify it and take conscious steps to avoid reenacting it. 

    Like… yeah, there are shitty doctors, there are abusive doctors. It’s trial and error until you find one who actually listens to you. Getting there might take months of waiting in between appointments, with the same problem, because after the last one you don’t have the energy to try and trust somebody again. But once you’ve found a good doctor, they want to help, and see you get better, live a more personally fulfilling life. You’re supposed to have a good, long-lasting relationship with a GP and other health workers who have had a chance to get to know you if you have long-term difficulties. That’s not a black hole, that’s (part of) a healthy support system.

    Gotta remember I was raised by a woman who told me I was “overreacting” to the massive head pain I was in, until I was literally screaming from it. I remember the doctor said I had holes in my eardrum. Remembering how bad that infection was stings. It’s quite probably the reason I’m deaf, since my deafness is due to missing or damaged ossicles, and not a nervous problem. 

    OK. So I am not meaningless. I was raised by a woman who led me to believe that, by perpetrating a cycle of abuse that came from women before her, and then telling me that story so I’d realize I “had it better than she did,” so I had “no right to complain.”

    OK. OK. I’m angry now, that’s an improvement. I’ll do my best to integrate those memories and be more aware of those emotions for the future.

    like, shit, man. sure, your parents are gonna fuck up in some way, but like… giving your kid ptsd? borderline? that’s, that’s significant. that’s significant. 

    suspicious, but starting to believe that there might really be a future where I don’t have to do this kind of work every day, or at least get used to it, and can do it a lot more quickly. 

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  • On Sunday night we were hit with some really severe abdominal pain out of the blue. Like 9 on the pain scale type pain, and not something in our usual realm of symptoms. It lasted for a couple hours and then it passed and things have been mostly okay since then. Our default approach is to Do Nothing when medical stuff happens, but after some gentle pressure from loved ones, yesterday we made a doctor’s appointment for today. That decision set off a lot of chaos, so I’m trying to sort out what all the parts inside are reacting to.

    • There are the parts who were brainwashed to not seek medical care or trust doctors because of being raised by fundamentalist religious science-deniers
    • There are the medical neglect trauma holders who feel they don’t deserve care
    • There are the parts who are terrified of unfamiliar adults, and especially doctors, touching them
    • There are the parts who were programmed to not care for themselves and instead suffer quietly while serving others
    • There are the work parts who feel like it’s irresponsible to leave work in the middle of the day
    • There are the parts scared about money because healthcare sucks
    • There are the parts worried we’re making a big deal out of nothing and that we’re going to get in big trouble for making a fuss
    • There are the hardcore avoidant parts who want to pretend nothing is happening and are frustrated by the disruption 

    It’s just a lot. A lot of overwhelming inner conflict and nonstop switching and headaches and panic and anger and annoyance and worry. And what’s interesting is that for the most part, none of it was worry about our body. The pain was really terrifying when it was happening, but there was never a motivation to seek out help or treatment or to try and find out what’s going on. 

    In therapy yesterday, a younger part was telling T that we made an appointment for the doctor, and T said, “you’re doing a really good job taking care of yourself!” And this part said, “no, I’m just following the rules.” Referencing the fact that we messaged our doctor our symptoms and she said to make an appointment. So we did so. Not because we were concerned about ourself, but because we didn’t want to “get in trouble” with an authority figure who was telling us to do something. 

    Long story short, nothing bad seems to be happening, doctor doesn’t really know what triggered it, if it happens again they’ll order some imaging. I know I’m supposed to be glad we went ahead and got the all clear and ruled out anything nefarious, but mostly I’m just exhausted and wish this hadn’t happened this week because it’s bringing up too much. 

    —mostly Galen

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  • Our girlfriend is here tonight helping take care of us while we’re sick, which apparently means it’s time to cue up some childhood medical neglect stories. 🙃 Let your kids take antibiotics when they have a staph infection, fam.

    —a blurry person

    #being sick is Hard and triggering #medical neglect #tw medical neglect #bad parenting#actuallydid#actuallydissociative
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  • Content warning: processing themes and triggers related to csa, doctor visit mention, medical neglect mention, programming mention, confusion about memories, long post

    Keep reading

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  • just spent almost two hours researching a couple medications my psychiatrist suggested I add, not gonna get either of them because apparently she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s prescribing people

    pretty much the only thing she got right is that they’re both antidepressants: one’s an SNRI and the other’s an SSRI. but both of them have major interactions with my current medications, and both put me at even higher risk for seizures and serotonin syndrome.

    one of them is less effective than its parent compound, 45% of it is excreted unchanged, it has a 10x greater effect on serotonin than on norepinephrine, no additional benefits were found at doses higher than 50mg (but it can be prescribed up to 400mg), it has a short af halflife, it’s expensive af, has a long stabilisation period, may increase tremor and anxiety (which are already problems), and has nausea as a “very common” side effect (one of the symptoms I straight up just cannot handle).

    the other one looked better at first: it’s specifically meant to treat both of my main diagnoses, it has a stabilisation period half that of the first one, was found to be “modestly superior” to its parent compound, has a long af halflife, 3 out of 4 studies showed statistical superiority over placebo, it’s been shown to have a 20% relapse rate for one of the disorders it treats (as opposed to 50% on placebo), it’s one of the most selective of all the SSRI’s, and a 2018 meta-analysis found it to be one of the most effective of 21 antidepressants.

    BUT it’s metabolised in the liver with the same enzymes that are already handling my other meds, it’s a weak inhibitor of another enzyme that makes pain meds work, serotonin syndrome can be caused by interaction with a common cold medicine, my main medication significantly increases plasma concentration & systemic exposure to this med, and a common side effect is tiredness despite the psychiatrist telling me it could help with my fatigue. Plus the aforementioned major interactions with my current medications and even higher risk for seizures and serotonin syndrome.

    this is why I tell her what to prescribe, instead of letting her tell me what to take. she doesn’t know wtf she’s doing

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  • Ayyy more fillings all done. Now there’s surgery the 21st and more fillings afterwards.

    The effects of childhood neglect last for years after you’ve moved out

    -Ash

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  • My mother told my doctor that the vit. D had stopped my migraines and i felt better. And when i asked her why she said that it was because she “nerver heard me say anything ”. Despite me announcing taking Excedrine for migraines and sometimes pain that would keep me up at night. So thanks mother. Guess ill correct that when i see my doctor in the next 2 years.

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  • I just want your opinion

    3 years ago, I remember the exact day and moment because I was with my terminally I’ll mom at KU med in KC and me and my dad werent close yet

    My dad called me he said his dr had found a small spot on his liver and wanted to send him to two different places for opinions and a biopsy the first Dr. He went to in Salina said this is nothing we can monitor it but sent a request to his Dr. That he not be sent to KU and that he did not see the need for a biopsy but would monitor it and his gallbladder

    His primary care Dr. 3 years later finally put the order in for him to get his gallbladder out after I had been begging they do something about it

    Well the surgeon gets in there and his gallbladder is almost the size of a 2 liter they had never seen anything like it but he gets in there and sees my dads liver which the other Dr had not been monitoring like he had said he would

    And was like oh thats not right were getting a biopsy while were in here

    Well my dad 3 years later is now in hospice with terminal liver cancer that could have been treated and gone into remission had it been biopsied in the early stage which everybody wanted and was stopped by this Dr

    I feel like I want to sue for medical neglect just so this Dr gets some kind of shit I am losing both my parents in 3 years at 19 and 21/22 and one if them was preventable

    Do you guys have any advice about anything related to this

    I can’t really take any money because with disability I can only have 2000$ and I dont feel like taking his money is justice enough

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  • #hospital tw #psych ward tw #medical neglect tw #anon #chat with kat
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  • a fact about my parents is that having a suicidal teenage daughter is a difficult position to be in. another fact about my parents is that they handled it kind of poorly! 

    my mom insisted I shave my legs after my therapist explicitly said it was a self-harm trigger for me and I shouldn’t do it . my mom kept the Valium in the house after I tried to overdose on it, after she promised me she’d flushed it down the toilet. they left me unattended in the house the day after I got back from my 72-hour psych hold, which I was grateful they weren’t more worried about me at the time, but now, as a grown-up person I am sort of like, uh…. whoops! my mom promised my therapist she’d check in on my level of suicidality every day, which, to be fair to her, would have been a very hard job, but also, she extremely did not do it!  I would have hated being hovered over, but children undergoing mental health crises warrant a little hovering. 

    I feel, in retrospect, kind of a little bit medically neglected! it could have been worse, but it also could have been a lot better!

    whenever I get angry at my parents, I cry. my therapist says that’s not anger, it’s just sadness. I think she is wrong about this and in fact it’s more like sad anger.

    #suicide for ts #medical neglect for ts #maybe
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