#mental health Tumblr posts

  • Right, this post will be about me discussing my mental problems

    So, I don’t have depression, I never claim to have been diagnosed with clinical depression because I haven’t. It’s just, sometimes I feel so low, and sad, and depressed that I can’t shake myself out of it. I’d say I’m more of a realist than a pessimist, however others would disagree.

    I use comedy and self deprecation as a coping mechanism, I try not to become too close to people for fear of rejection, anytime I send a text that seems vulnerable I immediately regret it because my first thought is what if they use that against me? Past trauma with blackmail has made me quite paranoid.

    I’d say I have more social anxiety than general anxiety, it’s not general because I only get anxious over school stuff, which is normal. I think I have social anxiety because sometimes it gets so bad that when I walk into a room my heart rate increase, I can start sweating, I feel faint, or sick. And that ain’t normal.

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  • My priorities are shifting because what I see value in is shifting.

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  • I hope one day someone to hold me and never let go

    I hope one day someone smothers me in love

    I hope someone scares my demons away

    I hope someone will kiss my pain away

    I hope you’re just as jealous as me

    I hope you will teach me whats right and wrong

    I hope someone will understand how clueless I am

    I hope someone will understand that when I say I wanna be with you forever its real

    I hope - C W

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  • I discovered I have c-ptsd and recovery is fucking hard. Will I even recover?

    I really really thought I was recovering. That I was healing. And now everything is back to how I usually felt. I was good for two months. Two fucking months. Nothing changed in my room, in my house, nothing changed but me. I did better. I was laughing more. I even caught myself dancing in the kitchen while I was cooking some food. Like who the hell could have thought I would be doing that a few months ago?

    I was throwing out all kinds of garbage. Food, toxic “friends”, producte, thoughts. I went to a therapist. Brainspotting therapy really helped me. I lost some weight weirdly enough. My head was less foggy. I could think, I wrote songs, I sang without throat ache. Then the corona crisis happened and even though I’m at high risk for complications, I was still doing Ok. Yes of course there was some anxiety, but in those months that occassionaly happened of course. I was doing better, I wasn’t doing perfect. But it was doable. And now since 3 days I am back to the emotional flashbacks.

    I think it’s the complex trauma /ptsd that has caught me off guard. I am very anxious, my heart beats out of my chest. I did some youtube EDMR sessions and breathing exersises. I tried thinking positive. But it weirdly feels like how it was before. It’s something familiar and one side of me thinks: “oh darkness welcomed me again, this is familiar” while the other part of me thinks “fuck fuck I need to start over all again, I was doing so good and now it’s all gone”. (Which causes me so much more stress and anxiety)

    And I know sometimes in healing and recovery you have to take a few steps back, but this is the first time and it feels really scary. Even scarrier then when I had this everyday, because now I can compare with a “good side”. Like before this darkness was all I knew, now I know how it feels to be more okay than usual. And I know everything se is so much more important right now than me and I completely respect the reason that I can’t go to therapy now. But I really miss it. And I even miss my therapist (I only know her for 2,5 months, I’m weird).

    What changed with the emotional flashbacks is this: Something inside me wants to talk about my feelings the whole day weirdly enough (that’s also a change). And I also feel like I want physical contact. Not in like a sexual way, but just cuddles and stuff. Really weird. And I now know why it’s happening now. I know that I have c-ptsd. And I tell myself that I am doing everything I can to recover. And that I am doing great. And that I will find new people who will like me for who I am. And that they can handle me and they respect my feelings. But, you know. It’s hard. It really is hard to just live/survive you know.

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  • Don’t be sad about me having D.I.D

    Be sad about what caused me to develop it.

    #d.i.d #d.i.d blog #d.i.d system #dissociative identity disorder #osdd#tw: abuse#mental health#trauma
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  • in case you needed it: everything’s going to be okay. do you part to control what you can control and grow as a person while you have the chance. you’ll be okay. nothing lasts forever. not even a pandemic. you’ll come out of this a changed person. you’ll come out of this okay.

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  • Talking to the psychiatrist yesterday, she asked me if I had been tested for ADHD because quite a few of my symptoms would fit. I told her I had brought it up with my therapist, and we did an assessment test, and it said I didn’t have it. I trust my therapist, and she has experience with ADHD (even if it was mainly with children and adolescents, and adult ADHD is not quite the same).

    But somehow I still wonder. There are so many posts about ADHD on this site, and 90% of the time I have such a strong “it me!” reaction to them … From executive dysfunction to rejection dysphoria and my memory and concentration problems, it would explain so much.

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  • could u guys pls recommend some good movies or tv series about mental illness, mental disorders or anything like? they weirdly keep my breakdowns at bay lol especially now we have to isolate 😣😅💕

    side note - thoughts on a diy nose piercing???

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  • My attitude sometimes got shaky because I anticipate the fuck shit….Have to be smoother about shortcomings…I deal with it all like it was planned for…..gotta act like it too!

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  • Anyone feeling extremely apathetic during the past weeks? Or is it just me? Or is it the lockdown? I’m also kinda scared I might be losing my emotions, if that makes any sense.

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  • Don’t get high on drugs. Get high on life!

    Seriously, life is beautiful and it has plenty of opportunities to see and do such as.

    • Partys
    • Meeting new people
    • Making new friends
    • Rebuilding your life
    • Going on squad holidays.
    • Going to festivals
    • New fashion.
    • New bands and singers to listen to.
    • Travel the world
    • Beach trips
    • Halloween
    • Christmas
    • Your favourite sports team win a major competition.
    • See your country win the World Cup.
    • Go to fairgrounds and theme parks.
    • Painting easter eggs
    • Laughing
    • New movies
    • New books
    • New lingo
    • New memes
    • New music genres
    • New apps
    • Going to the park
    • Going to pubs and nightclubs
    • Riding horses
    • The smell of flowers
    • Walking through forests and woodlands
    • Sunny days
    • Eating ice cream
    • Smiling
    • Getting more tattoos
    • Rainbows
    #hipster#hippy #positive vibes only #positive vibes #send good vibes #good vibes #good vibes tribe #good vibes only #Spirtual #mental health support #mental health#mental help#deep#aesthetic#yolo#free spirit #high on life #pale#grunge
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  • I don’t really know what to say. These last few days have been hard. I can’t sleep, I can’t do my schoolwork. I feel like a failure. I feel like crying the whole time and I just want that one thing:

    I don’t want to be so alone.

    I wonder if I am meant to be this way forever or if my life will change someday. I don’t know what to do.

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  • why am i so depressed and why isn’t anyone doing anything about it

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    #mental health #mental health memes #self deprecating jokes #self deprecating humor #self deprecating thoughts #self deprecating memes #depression#depression memes#bpd#bpd memes #the big sad #bipolar#social anxiety#anxiety
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  • i feel like i havent had a best friend in years. like since i was maybe 11. I’m 18 now. I feel like everybody I love and would consider my best friend has someone else they’re closer too. I haven’t said “you’re my best friend” to anyone in like 6 years. And no one’s said it to me. Cons of moving schools a lot. I feel like my life hasn’t started yet, and i’m waiting for someone I can jump on the journey with, but everyone’s already started theirs, and I can’t make myself settle for jumping on a trip that’s already started. i never post original stuff on tumblr but I know nobody I know will see this, so that why I’m doing it now I guess. 

    like i have plenty on non-best friends, and I care about them all and enjoy being their non-best friend just fine. But, I don’t have that somebody ya know? Someone I can always tell anything to. Someone who understands my fears and insecurities. Someone who knows my reactions to certain things and will know when its better to just not say anything. 

    I’ve known this girl, ill call her H, for like 6 months now. She lives in another country, but we’re in the same online D&D group, so we talk over discord at least once a week. We text pretty much everyday. Usually about dnd stuff, but also about other things, like the quarantine and family stuff and our hobbies and all the things you talk about with someone. We compare notes on living in a perpetually hot place versus a perpetually cold place. Because of COVID, she’s out of a job until June at least, and she can’t get another one right now cause of the quarantine, so she has a ton of time to talk. I’m actually super grateful that she’s stuck in her house right now so she has nothing better to do than talk to me. 

    I want H to be my best friend, but it’s gotten to the point that im so socially inept that i feel like the only way I can even get to that point it by asking her “can you be my best friend”. And we’re both young adults, her a few years older than me, and it’s a method so blunt and cringey that I’m afraid it will scare her away and/or make her realize how desperate I am.

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  • Mental Health. It’s hard. It is so hard to understand sometimes or more like I’m hard to understand sometimes. This topic seems so heavy and so light at the same time for me. I made this blog for my academic project but I’ve felt so attached to it that I may continue even. Why though? Why would I continue this blog even though it’s only supposed to be for my project?

    Let me tell you its cause of our topic right now. My mental health isn’t as great. I caught myself doing things I wish I didn’t. I get caught harassing the person I simply HATE the most in the world, myself. I hated this person for so long and now I have to learn to love this person? That was my goal with this blog.

    This blog…I used to have one back in the day. I have been told by my psychiatrist that blogging is healthy. So I decided to come back to it. I don’t know what I’m doing honestly. I have been dumbed down by bad thoughts and bad boys, no not the type to wear denim jackets and smirk at the camera but by boys who have left scars into my being. I don’t know if this is a blog or just a story honestly. I had friends who told me to stop from all of these boys cause of the amount of damage they do. Before I started posting yesterday I was crying over a boy. I hate how much I cried so I decided I’m going to start loving the person who I blamed all of life’s problems on.

    Mental Health is such a shaky topic for me it’s unstable because I was once unstable. I still drink medicine for it. I’m not depressed but I used to be severely depressed. When I mean depressed I mean not right now. My head is a piece of sh*t. I hate it. I hate me and that’s why I made this blog. I’m going to blog and blog and tell stories about myself. I’m not hoping to get attention over here. I’m hoping to heal. I’m not used to doing this however. I’m not used to loving myself and I’m not used to taking care of myself but I know I’ll eventually learn. I have a small portion of love inside me left and I hope to make it last.

    This blog seems like a dream for me. It’s beautiful but it might fade as soon as possible. I’m happy about this blog however. I want to ramble on and on about my experience with something because even though I love my friends they won’t be able to handle to towers and castles of words I have about a song I just heard. This blog will help with that. I might lose interest at times but that’s why I need it. If I keep myself enjoying and keep being busy then I’ll eventually learn to do the things I don’t know how to do now. This feels like my self-care. Sitting in front of the computer just typing my heart away every day. It’s not going to be easy however. It’s going to be difficult like loving myself. There will be days where in I don’t have a topic or I don’t have love for myself but that’s the point, I say this repetitively, If I love or write when I don’t feel like it then I’ll learn to do it as a habit. My teacher did say…Life is made out of habits.

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