only I could manage to show up late to therapy over zoom with Starbucks
My thoughts: “Hey, guess what?”
My thoughts: *shoves a million intrusive thoughts in my way* “Have fun!!”
a) i’m not following enough blogs
b) i’m a traumatized disaster who has isolated myself from absolutely everyone (pre-pandemic), have no friends whatsoever, which means i am literally always on this app
I need something to be good.
I need a reason to get up every morning, to not crawl back into that cave that I was in before I met him.
And you know he saved me.
You were there.
You remember how I was.
I was, I was dark.
That war made me dark. And that darkness, it is still in me.
He just lit it up.
For the first time in a while, I thought I was getting better…spoiler: I was wrong
Soooo I’m about to start work and I have cuts running all up my arm and I’m not wearing a long sleeve under my work shirt. This will be a fun day.
Und ich Frage mich, ob es einfacher wäre sich wieder der Essstörung hinzugeben. Wieder zu hungern, Kalorien zu zählen, zu erbrechen… Einfach nur um das alles nicht mehr fühlen zu müssen.
Late at Night
When i look inside
All i find
Is emptiness and cries
Late at Night
When nothing feels right
I wish you were by my side
[ @therejectedone ]
relationship is in shambles. living in a town where i don’t speak the language and don’t have any friends. doing my best just to stay afloat.
everyday i live in a fantasy
where im with you
i love you
you love me back
i wish i could wake up
and move on.
Current mood: anxious because the pills I’m taking can rarely interact with each other in a way that causes serious and even health threatening side effects
“Questioning your worth is like asking yourself if you deserve the sun to shine. There is nothing ABOUT you that determines its presence. You could stand indoors and deny it’s even there OR you can bask in it and let it warm you.”
- Rachel Cargle
i don’t know one thing on this earth that would genuinely make me happy. how sad. in a world of infinite possibilities and realities, no dream calls to me, no desire soothes me, nothing could make this life better except the help i need that i can’t afford. what a trap this was.
Too all my beautiful women out there with BPD, depression, PTSD, anxiety or any mental illness, you’re sexy and I love you<3
Being able to read as many works of classical literature as possible, from all cultures. – Guest Submission
(Please don’t add negative comments to these posts.)
It would be one thing if I was obese, but still cute and could wear my weight well. Instead, I’m obese with a body that makes no sense: back boobs, stomach that looks like a front ass, ham hawk looking neck, stretch marks all over my body, thighs are nothing but cellulite and an acne prone face that looks rotted. Lmao please send help.