Hear me out,
Mixed signals hurt worse than unrequited love.
It’s in hearing “I almost want you” over “I don’t want you”.
It’s in the wondering.
What makes me an almost?
What is holding you back?
What makes me not worth the risk?
What about me makes you feel unsure?
Are you not aware of how my eyes seek to memorize the outline of your face?
Are you not aware about how I worry over every second of silence in concern for the hyperactivity of your heart?
Are you not aware of how 9pm has become both the sweetest and most painful hour of my night as I wait see if you’ll message me?
Is it really me or is it just you?
Am I just a convenient boost to your ego?
Am I just someone to remind you of how you can be seen and cared for?
Am I no one special and if it wasn’t me, it could have been anyone else?
Am I a mixed signal that you can’t decide on because of confusion within yourself?
Is this a question of holding on or letting go?
Of letting the universe or God decide on what comes next?
Can I truly let you go after having been sustained on “I almost want you” for months?
- (Anxiously) Almost Yours