Why is Zhongli's perfume quite literally just the cologne that I have...
In Japanese Kakashi said : Saa tte... Doushita mono ka... (”Now... What should I do..”)
So in this chapter and previous chapter..
Sakura : Feel guilty by Naruto’s promise to Naruto, fake confessed, Naruto saw her lie, and she made up resolve to kill Sasuke herself
Naruto : Burdened by the knowledge that most shinobis want to kill Sasuke now, received fake confess, deeply wanted to save Sasuke but confused how to handle Sasuke’s situation
Sai : the poor learning boy, really don’t like to see Sakura and Naruto feeling sad, kinda made Sakura fake confessed to Naruto, just want to help them understand each other’s feeling
Kakashi : standing nonchalantly behind Naruto with hands on his pockets and dead fish eyes
Kakashi’s mind : omg what should I do in the middle of this mess I am certainly too emotionally repressed and unoccupied to handle this also there’s no way Sakura can take Sasuke I must save her oh Gaara’s here, thank goodness some distraction wait what do you mean Sasuke attack the Summit Danzo run away the Kages want me to be the next Hokage what the fuck Naruto hyperventilate-
to clarify i dont particularly think its Bad to not want to think abt ur f/os being offended or hurt by smth you do like its not a great feeling and selfshipping can be as much abt avoiding your real life issues as it is a way to cope with them i just prefer to think abt it realistically in this situation personally +) bc then i can have faith that they would tell me it hurt them and tell me that they love me and actively want to move past it Together
I think.. I’m going to watch the two towers
Hello, does anyone have any recommendations for comforting fantasy reads?
Things akin to Howl’s Moving Castle, Stardust, The Princess Bride, etc?
I’m particularly looking for audiobook recommendations so if you know one that plays really well as audio, I’d love the suggestions!
Tagging a lot I’m sorry I’m just really hoping to reach more people!
Marcy isn't my comfort character.
She's my discomfort character
I love her so much that seeing her causes me pain.
happy moments, for -> everybody who tracks #trackofthesoul ♡
venting, heavy stuff, no need to read this if its too much. triggering stuff below
i dont really know where to vent anymore and its very sad. i used to go to my friends to talk about my feelings and whats bubbling but i just. dont talk to them anymore. i dont talk to anybody anymore. i dont even talk to my boyfriend. i mention to people that im not well mentally and i usually just get a ‘yeah its like that’ or something dismissive and its like. im suicidal, i have been my entire life and im so depressed and so many things and emotions feel numb to me and its so hard to control my mood swings. i know other people i know feel the same way and i avoid that talk because i already feel like shit. so i feel like a bad person because i want to talk about my feelings but i dont want to hear what others have to say because im scared to talk about scary topics im not ready to hear from other people i dont want to think about the fact my friends also dont want to be here and they are depressed, its just. such a mess and im so tired of wanting to kill myself everyday but passing it off and bottling it up. i dont have a therapist. i cry everytime i remember the fact that every hotline ive ever called talk about how strong and sweet i am and then i know they will forget me. they wont remember my name and im just another person who feels like shit. people try and comfort me and be like. yeah you arent alone but that makes me feel even MORE alone which is so. its such an awful feeling because im not special and i so deeply want to be special because ive never been special once. im constantly reminded by my environment that im stupid, i dont know what to do, im slow, im a leech, im weird, im a bad friend, im unstable and im reminded daily that im really bad at being a good person im not usually complimented and i forget the compliments i do get, and when i do get compliments i feel numb sometimes. not always but usually people will say something and i just. cant process it? i dunno. i want me being suicidal to be taken seriously and not just a. ‘yeah....’ thing, i want to be hugged or for people to be concerned about me, i want to talk to people and am asked if im okay the issue is that. i dont do these things that im complaining about so i have no right to deserve these things. my brain works badly. if i want to be treated that way i have to treat others that way and i dont know why thats such an issue for me everyday i can feel myself less attached to the people i love which is a scary feeling. like. i knew i was so attached to my boyfriend i wanted to watch every video with him and always wanted him around and wanted to play and do things. now i barely chat with him. even if we are on call constantly it doesnt feel like we chat or hang out really. its hard to explain. i dont feel as much strong emotions and its scary i want to be back on medication but thats gonna be for awhile longer. i keep playing with the thought of suicide but i know its just me wanting a cry for help and that maybe if my friends saw the scars on my arms id be asked if im ok and if i wanna talk about it which is childish i play games to distract myself but my nightmares haunt me and i know deep down that nomatter how much i distract myself or try and do fun things and hang out with people that ill never be enough my brain is scattered. i just want people to seem like they care about me and i know they do i know the people around me do but sometimes i feel like im wished i wasnt here and it makes me sad and that i dont belong with anyone anywhere or that i dont work out with anyone. in the end people usually leave or i fuck it up someway. im great at fucking up relationships because of being mentally ill. but that isnt an excuse for being shitty i guess i hate not being able to relax. not being able to settle down and feel like somewhere is home for me. to feel completely relaxed and safe. im always tense and stressed that any day or hour or minute ill be asked to leave i wish i had family to love and be loved by. i wish my mother didnt want me dead if i was around her for more than a day. sometimes i wonder if she shouldve drove us into that brick wall and if it wouldve been better for everyone involved with me i try so hard and yet i dont do anything. i stress out and am constantly at my limit yet i dont lift a finger. i dont get it. why dont people try and talk to me more. why to people leave me. why am i fucked up. am i too intense? probably. i try to be friendly and loving but i guess im bad at it. im not worth anything and im not worthy of anything either. i feel so childish. i want to be taken as an adult but i also dont want to be. i want to relax and untense and feel like i belong and dont need to worry so much and not have constant pressure on me to do something
just realized that both my bio parents tried to kill me in some way. god. why am i such a mess. my scars are fading and i miss them. it reminded me that i was Here and what i went though was recent and that im suffering and it wasnt the act of doing it but the act of touching them and feeling them that was so grounding to me. that what i do actually matters and stays with me and the consequences i face are something that can stick with me
my brain is just sad and i dont know what to feel other than sad for myself and throw myself a pity party for being yet another depressed person i just want attention i guess
what if i made jackie from y.ellowjackets
hit the heart if you would be interested in plotting / interacting with CANON AU LAURA HALE (TEEN WOLF) - - - if you’re a multi please do note the muses you’d be interested in writing with her
The boys use the papasan more than I do
hey guys should i watch revolutionary girl utena. like it looks REALLY cool and all the surreal symbolism storytelling shit looks right up my alley but i hear its got like. a TON of trigger warnings/heavy content. i just need to know:
a) is that specific content implied or at least not graphically shown on-screen gratuitously,
b) is it r0manticized/s*xualized/played for f*nservice or is it shown to be rightfully wrong/disturbing,
c) if i choose not to watch the especially bad/trigger-heavy episodes how much of the plot am i missing.
id appreciate any feedback/opinions from utena fans on this bc while the anime looks fascinating i do not think i could watch it if the triggering content in question is too common/graphic, too f*nservicey/voyeuristic or if it s3xualizes the teenage characters.
anyone wanna hear me ramble about a story I’m writing
"STOP!!" With a jolt you sat up straight in your bed, your eyes wide. Your heavy breathing filling the darkness. Within seconds, Saeyoung was next to you, softly touching your arm.
"Are you okay?" His voice seemed clear, almost as if he had been awake for a while. You glanced at the digital clock on your nightstand. 2:23 AM.
You huffed. "I- no. I mean. Yes. I guess. It's just-"
Sighing, you gave a quick nod. Your sleep had been disrupted by nightmares for several weeks now. It was tiring, of course, but never before had they woken you so violently before. Usually you'd just wake up in the morning, strained by the dream that haunted you that time.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Saeyoung leaning over to his nightstand, turning on the light, and grabbing the water bottle he had put there last night.
"I have my own, you know?", you joked, making him roll his eyes.
"What? You afraid you'll get cooties from drinking out of mine or something?"
Taking the bottle out of his hand you grinned. "I might. You can never be careful enough."
Your quip earned you one of his joyful giggles, the sound of which helped you to push the uneasiness from the dream away.
Only as the cool water entered your system did you notice how perched you were. Not surprising considering the way your hair stuck to your forehead. Taking big gulps you aimed to eliminate the sudden thirst as Saeyoung watched you intently. When you finally put the now mostly empty bottle down he immediately took it from you, emptying it with a quick swig and closed the top before putting it back to where it stood before.
"So...", he mumbled, turning to you with a soft gaze, "do you want to talk about it? Was it about work again?"
You sighed. To think that the job you had for more than six years now would haunt you the way it does now was exhausting to say the least. After being off for more than a year due to trauma, you had finally made the decision to go back soon, just for your mind to make it feel like the worst decision of your life. This time however, your dream had been far more upsetting.
"It was about her….", you fell silent. Talking about her was highly uncomfortable. Even just the thought of her made a shiver run down your spine.
Saeyoung frowned, trying to connect the dots. Then, he seemed to catch on.
"Your old boss?" His voice was quiet, almost as if he feared even suggesting it.
You nodded in response, your eyes trained on the blanket covering your legs.
"It's weird", you said, "She's clearly getting what she deserves, and she's hiding like a coward. It is cathartic to see her act like this after all she has done to me, after she took me apart bit by bit while I was helpless to her verbal abuse and manipulation but...I am so scared."
Shaking, you turned to Saeyoung.
"What if she snaps? What if she hurts her employees, what if she hurts my mom?! It would be my fault!"
A stern look on his face, he grabbed you by the shoulders.
"No. It wouldn't be your fault. You didn't even take part in exposing her. Yes, you were mentioned by several people, but she has no proof you know about that. And about hurting the others…..I honestly don't think she has it in her. You said it yourself. She's hiding, like the coward she was all along. You were so strong. Through all she did you kept coming back, you kept trying again. And now that she has it hard, she runs. Last but not least", he cleared his throat, the monolog being hard on his voice after waking up in the middle of the night, "you have me now. As long as I am here, neither you or any of the people that are important to you will get hurt. Okay?"
You searched his face, but his determination did not show a single crack. And you wanted to believe him. You really did. But what if…..
"I- I don't know. I know it's dumb and makes no sense but I can't stop thinking about it. Even if she's a coward, no one knows what she has going on in that head of hers while she's home pitying herself…."
Saeyoung shook his head. "It's not dumb Mc….you're terrified of that woman. Of course your brain is running wild. You had to endure her anger whenever she was inconvenienced or got in trouble, it's completely normal for you to think she will let it out on you somehow. But the thing is - she can't. You're out of her reach."
"Yes!! And that's why she might hurt the people that are within her reach!", you burst out, covering your face with your hands.
His eyes darted back and forth as he took a deep breath. Saeyoung wasn't annoyed with you, you knew that. Most likely, he was trying to find the right thing to say.
"You kind of said it yourself already, but ask yourself logically….does that make any realistic sense?"
You froze with your face still buried in your hands. A muffled "I guess not", being your only response.
"You guess? So you're not sure. Give me a logical reason why her 'snapping and hurting people' makes sense."
Stumped, you lowered your hands. "I. Well. There is none but-"
"Nope. Stop right there. There is none, so it won't happen", he announced, triumphantly.
Not quite convinced, you narrowed your eyes at him. "People snapping is not really logical in the first place. Which is why it's called 'snapping'."
"....if you say so", he shrugged.
"What's with the whole logic deal anyway, if I wanted logical advice I could just ask Jumin."
"Right. Because you would dare to call him at two in the morning and he would also not be fast asleep. Plus I am great at logical advice as well!"
"Says who?", you countered smugly.
Saeyoung stared at you in disbelief. "Uh, well. I, for one, say that and I'd say I am an excellent source of information."
Laughing quietly, you nodded. "So if I were to ask Vanderwood-"
"Psh. According to that old grump I'm an emotional disaster -"
Feigning surprise, you lifted your hand to cover your mouth.
"- which doesn't mean anything. Also please don't tell him I called him an 'old grump'. Unless you want to be an early widow, I suppose."
Your face softened and you reached out to his face. It dawned on you now what he was trying to do, and, as always, it worked like a charm.
"Thank you. I love you", you whispered, your hand cupping his slowly reddening cheek.
Another giggle reached your ears as he covered your hand with his. With his shining eyes and the soft blush underneath his freckles he seemed so boyish, making your heart melt.
"Just doing my work as the Defender of Justice", he smiled, "chasing the dark thoughts and feelings away and protecting my angel from the evil witch ~ "
A more hearty laugh escaped you now as well, filling his golden eyes with utter pride.
"Let's go back to sleep?", he offered.
A good idea, you thought and sank back into your sheets. The faint light of the small lamp was gone with a click and the darkness engulfed the both of you once more.
"Saeyoung…?", you whispered into the dark.
An affirming hum came from the other side of the bed.
"Can you please hold me while I fall asleep? To keep the nightmares away?"
Immediately, you heard him shuffle over behind you. You turned to wrap your arm around him, as he did the same.
"Don't worry", he whispered, his forehead touching yours, "I won't let go, I promise."
feel free to ignore this i have realized that most of the latest art on the dukexiety tag is mostly my art cuz i post and draw it so much of it UYTRESDFGHJK oops-