remove the old key from the key chain
“Oh, I was doing so well until you invaded my dreams.
I’d almost forgotten what it was like to have you.
Oh, how cruel dreams can be.”
What haunts me isn’t even how I messed up, how I could’ve done better, or fixed things.
What haunts me the most is that I knew what I felt, and to you it was nothing more than a claim. You couldn’t even acknowledge my feelings before rejecting them, you just acted as if how I felt didn’t even matter in the slightest. It hurt like hell and then my emotions went out of control and I did things that made it even worse which I deeply regret. You tossed it all aside good and bad after that, like it wasn’t even hardly a blip on your radar. I can’t really blame you for it, but it still hurt like a hand piercing through my chest and bursting out my backside in a single instant. It still hurts because I still feel that way towards you. I stay away because I know that coming around or even trying to talk will only make it worse.
The only difference now is that I never want to feel that way about anyone ever again, because if I were to risk it all again on that feeling only to have a repeat of that kind of pain?
I honestly don’t think I’d come back from it a second time. I’d rather die alone than go through that again.
Dressed up, black dress, heels tight.
“Where are you going”…out for the night.
Perfume, lipstick, whole new attitude.
“When will you be back”…does it matter at this point.
Feeling confident and sassy but I play it shy and coy.
You can call it “metamorphosis” but I finally feel like my old self.
I can be bad all on my own, I don’t need your help.
What you fail to recognize, others admire.
The cravings, the waiting, 9 months without,
It’s time someone else saw for themselves what I’m all about.
Your time is up, there’s no “I’m sorry now,”
Your curtain is closing but I’ll let you take your bow.
💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Be strong enough to forgive people for Allah’s sake,
Even those who gossiped about you, tarnished your name,
Who still owe you some money, tried to humiliate,
Ignored your salaams, mocked you, or put you under blame.
Forgive like the Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) was forgiving,
Who forgave Taif’s people who weren’t welcoming,
Abu Sufyan and Hind who had Hamza’s heart bitten,
And Wahshi with others who later became Muslims.
Forgive as the Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) was kind and tough,
Who pardoned those who unjustly accused him and scoffed,
Called him names that didn’t suit him and had him laughed at,
Unaware he’s a mercy sent from Allah above.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean returning to destruction,
Allowing oneself to befriend toxic companions
Who are used to lying, abusing, and backbiting,
Whose companionship brings nothing but bad influence.
To forgive Muslims for Allah’s sake is to be free
From the urge to plot revenge, get even childishly,
And from enmity that keeps one from sleeping soundly.
It proves inner strength, faith and enhanced maturity.
Forgive that Muslim although you’re not close anymore.
To forgive is to release them from being abhorred,
Despite remembering their insulting acts or words.
Forgive, even if the emotional wounds still hurt.
Forgive and move on. It’s your right to choose friendly wisely,
Pious friends who aren’t too proud to say they’re sorry,
Who understand your story, forgive you readily,
And who live their lives to gain Allah’s Love and Mercy.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives another but that Allah increases his honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah but that Allah raises his status.”
Source: Sahih Muslim 2588
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The merciful will be shown mercy by the Most Merciful. Be merciful to those on the earth and the One (Allah) in the heavens will have mercy upon you.“
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1924
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi
📖 Al-Shafi’i, may Allah have mercy on him, wrote in his poetry, “When I forgave and stopped holding malice against anyone, I relieved my soul of the worries of enmity.”
Source: Dīwān Al-Shāfiʻī 31
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
It has been exactly one year today and I think it is the perfect time for this post. Although, in all honesty, this post is probably long overdue. Regardless, it takes time to process and to heal. It is a journey and I could not have gotten to this point without God.
R, I forgive you. I may not ever fully understand what happened or why you left and that’s okay. Even if it hurts, it is part of God’s plan. God can (and will) still use this for His good. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) If nothing else, all of this has brought me closer to God and strengthened my relationship with Him. That alone is significant.
This is me choosing to let go. This is me choosing to move on. This is me choosing to trust God. I do not hold anything against you, R. I truly wish you and J complete happiness. I hope that you are doing well and I pray for you daily.
Maybe I needed you once before, but I don’t need you anymore. I will be okay without you. I can get through this, with the help of God and myself. It’s taken me way too many years to learn how to be independent, but I’m finally learning.
Thank you R for being a major support system when I needed it before. You helped me get through a lot and showed me what it looks like when someone truly cares for me. I have high standards now and I won’t settle for less than I deserve. So, thank you R for showing me that.
Yeah I just needed to do life on my own for a while. I hope you understand.
“Whatever you face is just your mind itself”
— Seikan Hasegawa ‘The Cave of Poison Grass’
You say it’s like I enjoy being sad, what you can never understand is the heartbreak that accompanies the love of your life telling you they don’t love you anymore. So don’t tell me I enjoy being sad, you have no idea how much I’m dying right now. You have no idea what sad is. Because if you did, you would know no one could ever enjoy feeling this way
“Because he didnt fight for you to stay?”
This qns hits me and maybe its true i was just there to help him fill up the void that he was missing from her.
I thought there’s only so much a heart can break but boy was I wrong. Thinking about you and what you did to me breaks my heart every single time no matter how much time passes
tumblr let me put images on asks challenge
My dear sweet, Amy!!! @amythedvdhoarder There is no way you are old enough to know what this is in reference to…. but before each Granny Writers Club meeting we will be throwing magic dust over a metaphorical campfire!
‘Submitted for the approval of the Granny Writers Club….’
And then sitting in front of our landline phone and waiting for those shameless hoe requests to roll in, because that is how they will be coming in from now on…..
Best. Club. Ever.
It’s okay, go ahead. Get what you deserve. Don’t accept anything less. Your in control of your destiny.