Naruto's real final.
Naruto's real final.
what other word would you use to describe this man other than
While both he and Heechul are happy they are both definitely in the throes of intense sleep deprivation. Hyejin isn't even that bad of a sleeper, but she's still a newborn and wakes up every few hours to be fed. They do the taking turns thing, but usually if one person is awake so is the other. Kyuhyun can't sleep if Heechul is feeding her and it seems to be the same for Heechul. They're both trying to sleep when she sleeps but it's not always that easy. Especially since Kyuhyun is still in pain and bleeding. The after birth contractions have become a lot stronger over the past day or so. They're like intense cramps, or slightly more painful Braxton Hicks. They bother Kyuhyun more than he thought they would, if he's completely honest.
Undercover Lover prt 60
Eren would describe his current feelings along the line of shell shocked. Levi kept glancing his way, but neither of them knew what to say to each other. They’d made a baby... and now he had to abort... The decision already made by everyone around him, but not in his heart. His head, yes. He got it. He really did. They weren’t ready for a baby and Levi didn’t like kids... but... but what if he kept it? What if he made that “selfish” choice? He knew he couldn’t do that to Levi. The baby might be inside of him, but it was as much his as it was Levi’s and Levi didn’t want a baby.
The omega was tired. So tired. So tired that his brain should have gotten the hint by how heavy his body felt as he sat in the corner of the sofa hoping to be left alone. Hannes said they could have kids later on... but what if he didn’t conceive again? What if he and Levi were driven apart trying to and failing? What if his alpha hated him even more than he did right now, sometime in the future? What if Levi regretted it? Regretted him aborting. No. He’d smelt it Levi’s scent. Levi being a father scared his alpha. He feared it more than he was angry about it. But... he’d be a great dad. If Eren started saying that, he’d only be pushing his insecurities on to Levi and making him make a choice he didn’t want to. He’d never bind Levi to him like that... He’d never be one of those people who had a baby to keep the father permanently tethered because that’s not how it should work, or even did. Still... he just... didn’t have the courage right now to ask Levi for the first tablet. His omega threatened to tear his brain in two with how angry and upset it was that everyone wanted him to abort. His dynamic didn’t seem to get the whole reason the pregnancy would be risky was because it wasn’t completely there.
Levi caved first. Eren didn’t feel like food and they hadn’t pushed him from sitting on the sofa alone. His alpha sitting on the other end of the sofa, almost as if he was putting up a barrier with just the two of them there and silently was forbidding Philip or Hannes to sit between them. Shifting closer, Eren knew he was stressing Levi out by keeping himself as small as he could. He didn’t want his alpha to touch him. If Levi did, he feared he’d cave. That he’d say something he couldn’t take back or his omega would blurt out something dumb like keeping the baby. He was still young. Between his life and a bad pregnancy, he knew he should choose his life... it... was just... so hard. He should have made sure Levi used a condom... but they’d... done that... that thing that Levi still wasn’t comfortable with... and now... this had happened. He felt like he’d ruined any further intimacy for Levi. That fear...
He didn’t want that fear.
He didn’t want to lose Levi. He didn’t want that fear coming between them. They’d built this warmth between them. A happier home. A warm home. With laughing and smiling and shitty god awful jokes. Things had looked up for both of them. He liked the neighbourhood gym. He liked the trainers. He even liked the way overpriced coffee shop the mums congregated at. He’d hoped to coax Levi there... He wanted to keep his job at the bar, and he wanted to support Levi’s work. He wanted his boyfriend to make the bust. He wanted to share in his pride. They’d already faced so much shit at the start of their relationship, especially with Levi being shot.
“Brat... Do you... maybe want to talk about this?”
Levi was... He loved him. Things weren’t always fucking perfect and there were times they hated each other. He wanted to go back in time to when they worked for Rod. When Levi came over with food when the power was out. When they’d played uno until his alpha looked ready to explode in annoyance over his repeated “shitty losses”. He missed ribbing into each other... Shit. He didn’t want Levi being so kind.
“Or do you want to go outside for a cigarette?”
Levi was trying here and he wasn’t. He had to try. What would being depressed get him? He needed to man up and take that first tablet. He needed to... for Levi he needed to
“Can I... have that tablet?”
The words felt hard to say. What he didn’t expect was Levi wrapping his arm around him
“You don’t have to tonight...”
If not tonight, then when? Why wasn’t Levi rushing to shove the tablet down his throat? His alpha didn’t want a baby with him... like ever
“... not tonight, brat. I... I’m not sure what to say”
Levi sounded so damn tired... His alpha must be giving him as much trouble as Eren’s omega was giving him... They were both to blame here
“I don’t know either... I... didn’t know”
“Tch. I know you didn’t know. I know you’re not a scheming shit that planned this either”
“Of course I do. You’re not that kind of a man”
At least Levi knew he’d never do that to him. He trusted him. He trusted him to lead the intimacy in their relationship... Thank god Levi trusted him
“I’m not... really sure what to say... It’s a lot. I’m not going to be selfish, but I’m scared of what happens now. I don’t... I don’t think I’m up for talking about it tonight”
“I know what you mean. My alpha won’t give me a break. I feel like I should be doing something”
“You mean you feel like you should be cleaning up after Hannes and Philip?”
Levi sighed at him. Had he done something wrong by trying to cheer him up? Philip was outside with Hannes, Eren would kill for a cigarette but... that wasn’t happening. Despite the lack of audience, both their voices were low, almost intimate with how he was up against Levi
“Philip isn’t what I expected... I meant with you. I feel like I should be fixing this for you”
“You can’t fix it. I know it’s a mistake. An accident... but you can’t fix everything”
“You’re as much to blame as I am...”
“I should have kept my cool”
“Levi, you’re not to blame. I’m the one who’s...”
He couldn’t even say it out loud. He... wanted the baby he couldn’t have
“I know. We’ll get your test results and have Hannes do his doctor thing, then we’ll head back tomorrow afternoon”
“Provided we’re both up for the drive. I still feel shit”
Fluids had helped. His body desperately needed the fluids
“I feel a bit better. Still half expecting to wake up and find this was one hell of a shitty dream”
Levi’s words stung. He didn’t want his alpha to not want this baby... but he didn’t and he couldn’t change that
“You and me both. I’m not going to tell the others. I don’t want another lecture”
Mikasa wouldn’t take it well. She’d have all sorts of things to say about Levi and she really wouldn’t take it well if he told her about the fact his pregnancy would be high risk
“I’m not going to lecture you. If... if you do after you’ve taken the pills, I’ll support you”
Right. Yeah. The pills. The pills that Levi had that would get rid of the thing growing inside of him. Eren fought to keep the whine in his throat from coming up. His omega really loved too fast. It was straight okay that there was a baby inside of him like he was made for that reason alone and nothing he’d ever accomplished would come close to this
“Can... we not talk about this tonight? I’m so tired that all I want to do is sleep”
“Philip’s using his room. Hannes said we could use his or crash out here”
Levi’s lack of swearing showed how badly the alpha was taking the news. Nothing was “shitty”, he wasn’t even his boyfriend’s “shitty brat” anymore
“Here’s fine. We already inconvenienced Hannes enough”
“I thought you’d say that. Once Hannes gives you the go ahead tomorrow, you can take that tablet. I don’t trust rushing in like this without your test results back”
There it was. The real reason. Levi didn’t want him taking the tablet and having a negative reaction due to whatever was going on with his hormones. His alpha didn’t know that saying no had spurred a tiny spark of hope that Levi had come to think about keeping their baby
“That makes sense. I had no idea it’d effect you”
“Tch. You think I had any fucking clue either? At least you’re being fucking reasonable and not throwing your life away over a shitty kid and a pregnancy that’ll fucking kill you”
No. No. He wasn’t being reasonable at all. He wanted to scream at Levi to shut up
“Yeah... Reasonable. I’m really tired, and want to go to bed now. If you want a cigarette, you can go see Hannes and Philip...”
Anything to get Levi away from him, where he couldn’t accidentally keep breaking his heart...
“I’m tired too. Let’s go ahead and get comfortable. We still have tomorrow morning to face”
What did Levi have to face!? He wasn’t the one who was pregnant? Why couldn’t anyone just tell him it was okay to think about keeping the baby? That it was natural and normal? That he didn’t have to rush the choice, and that Levi would love him all the same if he held off a little longer to mentally prepare to say goodbye? Why did everything have to be so definite? And why did this have to hurt?
Levi didn’t know how to help Eren. His heart was breaking for his boyfriend. Eren hadn’t taken the tablet yet. Eren hadn’t taken it and Levi had caught the way his omega had been staring at his belly. He hadn’t told Erwin. Erwin hadn’t been too pleased with him for taking Eren to Shinganshima, and Levi had blown up at him over how little Erwin understood... but how could his best friend understand when Levi hadn’t told him Eren was pregnant.
Things would have been easier if they simply yelled at each other and got it out the way. Eren hadn’t been up to talking about things before they’d left Shinganshima. He hadn’t talked during the car ride home, and he’d skilfully avoided talking to Levi about the baby by changing topic. Hannes had given him pills for the nausea, and pills to make Eren shit. This was all so fucking hard. He wished Eren had never told him how much he wanted kids. He wished his boyfriend was on the same page as him on this one. But they weren’t on the same, much less the same chapter, or even the same book.
Eren, his brat, was pregnant... and he didn’t want a baby. If anyone was going to ever change his mind, it would be Eren, but his mind hadn’t changed, even with his alpha flooding his mind with praise over knocking his shitty mate up. He didn’t stare at Eren’s stomach the way his omega did. He watched as Eren made “squares” on his stomach to see if his bump had grown, what did the brat expect at six fucking weeks. Eren wanted this so fucking bad that he was... he was okay with losing his life. His omega had asked for the tablet the night they’d found out. He’d taken the tablets from Levi and placed them in the bathroom drawer. Levi had caught Eren staring at the blister pack with his hands shaking, trying to get the tablet out only fumbling so hard that he’d thrown the blister pack to the floor, crying in anger that he couldn’t take the tablet.
Levi didn’t know what to do. He only knew this couldn’t keep going the way he had. He loved Eren, but he didn’t want kids. He wanted to support Eren, but he didn’t want kids. He could let Eren continue the pregnancy, but what was the point when he didn’t want kids. Eren would know he was miserable and they were both miserable than what was the point of being together?
He’d honestly thought Eren would have taken the tablet by now, but when your body craved sleep or throwing up randomly, which was the main problem, keeping a tablet down wasn’t exactly easily He’d been in the same shitty examination room. He’d heard the same shitty news. Have a baby and it’ll most likely kill you. Did that mean Levi wasn’t enough of a reason to stay alive? He’d never felt enough... not until Eren showed him that he was enough and that it was okay to love. They were compatible partners. He should be more important than a shitty cluster of fucked up cells that could kill Eren. So why wasn’t he holding Eren’s mouth open and shoving that tablet in?
He wasn’t because he knew Eren dreamed of this. He knew his brat wanted this. Not like him. While he’d let his mind entertain the idea and he may have slightly been coming around, he knew he shouldn’t be a father by the way he was so fixated on Eren taking those pills. Hannes had said they could have a child in the future... yet Levi doubted he’d want a baby then when he barely wanted one now. No. No. It’d been a fanciful dream. A momentary whim. He’d let his day dream run off and been swept up in baby fever... And there was absolutely no other way to explain it all seeing he’d always said he didn’t want a baby.
Eren loved him so fucking much. So fucking much and now... This was sure to ruin everything between them. They wouldn’t come back from this and Eren would always blame him for making him take that pill. His mate wouldn’t... Levi was making excuses. He feared Eren would tear his heart out and would never forgive him. He should have been more vocal. Should have triple checked and made time to put a condom. He’d never be dad material.
God there were so many thoughts in his head. Hannes said they could have another baby... but... Levi didn’t think... He’d changed so much... but would he ever change that much? Eren... this could be his only chance. It’d happened by some kind of shitty miracle... but it’d happened. His omega was young. He still had a zest for life that Levi was rediscovering. For so many years he’d thought himself happy and content. Did his happiness out weigh Eren’s hopes and dreams? He wanted the best for Eren... but... how much would Eren suffer if he took this away from him? Even with the risks his omega was one of the strongest and most stubborn people he knew. Despite the odds against him, Eren had a way of changing that bad luck. Of moving forward. Did he take that away from him purely because he wasn’t... If they were going to break up anyway...
The idea of losing Eren felt worse then the time Hanji had taken away his cleaning supplies in a misguided attempt to “help” his obsessive behaviour. But if he was going to lose Eren anyway... If Eren was going to hate him... They had to a have serious conversation. This couldn’t go on...
Making lunch for both of them, Levi would be lying if he said he hadn’t shed a tear. He’d worked out what he was going to say to Eren... and had a fair idea what his omega would say back. He couldn’t support a pregnancy that would kill Eren. He couldn’t. Every single time he’d choose Eren alive rather than let the world lose him. With Eren in bed, Levi slipped quietly into their room. They were both still struggling with symptoms, yet he felt ready to return to work long before Eren did. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he drank in the sight of Eren snoring his head off. The blankets had been kicked off, Eren sprawled out on his back, shirt hiked up to expose his belly. His brat really loved his sleep.
Leaning down, Levi stole a kiss, another act of a coward. Eren seemed to rouse like Sleeping Beauty, smile gracing his lips as he hummed into the kiss. Levi’s heart dropping to somewhere near his feet. He wasn’t supposed to be caught. They’d barely kissed since the news. They still slept together, but a distance had been there and Eren was up throwing up at odd hours without Levi following to comfort him
“I made lunch”
Eren hummed again, arms around Levi so he couldn’t escape. He didn’t want to escape... He wanted to back in time and change things so Eren wouldn’t leave
“Hopefully I can keep something down... it says online not to take that tablet on an empty stomach, or within two hours of vomiting, which is impossible when your stomach doesn’t want to be full”
So Eren had been thinking about the tablet? He did have a point. Hannes had told them to absolutely take it after food. It wasn’t quite like the pills betas or alphas took, designed to slowly bring the miscarriage on without upsetting the hormone levels suddenly
“About that, we need to have a talk”
Eren sighed as he let him go
“Yeah, I suppose we really do. I need the bathroom”
“Okay, come out to the dining table when you’re ready”
Sitting himself at the dining table, Levi chewed the inside of his mouth until it hurt. He knew what he was going to say. He knew it... but faced with Eren... well, his words went out his head and he wanted to think with his heart. Having stopped for grab a hoodie, Eren came padding out with his arms wrapped around himself. The house still annoyingly cold. His shitty brat seemed more sensitive to the cold than he was. Sitting across from him, Eren sighed heavily
“I guess we couldn’t avoid this talk. I’m sorry I haven’t taken the tablet yet. I know you don’t want kids... ever...”
“And I know you do. I can’t support a pregnancy that might kill you”
Eren drew a shaky breath, Levi felt so sick with guilt he wanted to throw up
“I don’t plan on dying... I...”
“I saw you. I saw you trying to take the pill... I know you don’t want to abort”
Eren gaped before dropping his head forward. Yeah. Maybe he should have been a little kinder with the truth, yet they were only going to keep going in circles if he didn’t spell things out
“Eren, I don’t want children. For all my life I’ve known that. We started this relationship to stabilise your body and neither of us expected these shitty feelings that developed. If I make you abort I know you won’t forgive me... but I don’t want a baby. I don’t want to see you suffer and... if we’re going to break up because of this... then...”
Eren snapped hard. Shoving his chair back the omega snapped
“You think I can’t get over something like this?!”
“I’m saying it’s what you want!”
“What I want is you!”
“And I don’t want a baby! I don’t want children!”
“That will never change! I love you, brat... but this won’t go away... I think you should go stay with Mikasa”
“You’re sending me away! I told you I would take the tablet!”
“And I’m telling you... I won’t take this away from you... Don’t... don’t make myself hate myself more than I already do!”
They weren’t the words Levi had been meaning to say, but pushed in the heat of the moment he’d realised that was what he wanted. He wanted to... in some small way... help Eren achieve his dreams. The look Eren gave him cut right through him
“What if I don’t want this without you?”
“Then you’ll spend your whole life wondering what could have been... You... you’ll be happy”
“I won’t be happy without you... Hannes...”
“Said you could have another baby, but that won’t be with me. I love you but I don’t want children... ever, Eren. You’ll come to hate me... it might not be today, or tomorrow, but I... I can’t be the alpha you want, or deserve”
“But what if I lose it...?”
“You’ll never forgive me anyway. Things weren’t meant to go this far...”
He should shut up. He needed to shut up. Levi’s alpha was screaming in rage. Their mate... they were destroying their mate in front of their very eyes
“If it’s between you and a baby, I choose you! I love you!”
Screeching at him, Levi flinched from the amount of emotion in Eren’s voice. His heart was breaking all over again...
“And you won’t be happy!”
“That’s for me to decide!”
“And I’m telling you my decision! Look, I won’t tell Erwin or Hanji... but... even if you do abort we can’t go back from this. It’s... time this came to an end...”
“But... I... love you...”
Love was the whole reason Levi was putting this in Eren’s hands. His brat had the choice. If he wanted the baby, or if he wanted to abort... Levi didn’t want to know either way, not deep down... He couldn’t provide Eren with emotional support through a pregnancy, or provide him emotional support after an abortion. He wouldn’t be enough for Eren either way
“And I love you, shit, brat... I love you...”
“Why can’t you have faith in me?”
Eren stuttered, his mate didn’t want to leave
“I have a job now. I like being here... I like being with you... I like this house... I wanted to see you succeed...”
With how little progress he’d made, he was likely to end up staying in Stohess a lot longer than planned
“I know. I know you do, brat. I know you were happy”
“I was only happy because I was with you! What do I do now?!”
“You be happy. You keep moving forward... I’m saying you have to leave immediately...”
“I don’t want to leave at all!”
“Well you fucking have to! Go home, Eren! Go home and be happy!”
Eren fixed him with an icy glare
“I... can’t fucking believe you... Why did you kiss me? Why did... why?!”
“Because I’m a selfish coward of an alpha”
“No! Fine! If you want me gone, I’ll fucking go!”
Levi didn’t know why, but when Eren moved towards the back door, he acted out instinct. Grabbing the omega by the hand, Eren wretched his hand free
“Don’t Levi. Don’t. I know you think this is the right thing, but it’s not what I want”
“It’s not how I wanted things to go either... Just... be happy... and... be safe”
It took all Levi’s resolve not to shove Eren against the wall and tell him he’d change for him. Levi sinking down to weep on the spot. He’d give Eren some time to calm down, then help him pack what he needed... Only when he heard the roar of Eren’s bike, in his heart, he already knew Eren wouldn’t be coming back that day... or ever again...
Undercover Lover prt 62
Eren challenged anyone to have a more awkward family dinner than the one he was currently stuck at. Letting his thumbs do the talking he’d texted Mikasa to tell her he’d been burned and sent home for the time being so was crashing at Armin’s. the premise of a good lie was planting the seeds a head of time, and was it really lying if he was omitting things and allowing Mikasa to think what she would? Probably.
With Grisha flying out in two days, they’d gone out for a family dinner. A family dinner he never could have faced without Armin there. For a fellow 27 year old, Armin was like a little child as they’d taken Eren’s bike to meet everyone at the restaurant. Levi didn’t love his bike, Armin now wanted one of his own. Annie might just murder him over that one. Clinging to his arm, Armin seemed nervous as they headed into the restaurant, though that could have been Eren projecting his own nerves onto his best friend. With Armin’s help he’d applied for near a dozen laptops, only when Armin went to apply for one well over $1000 a week did Eren take the laptop from his friend. He needed to be more careful with his money now that he had a baby to think of.
Spotting Mina in Grisha’s lap before the rest of the family, Eren’s stomach dropped uncomfortably, a small whine escaping his lips as he automatically wanted to shy away from seeing his father again. His father was a doctor. One look at him and Eren was sure Grisha would spill his “dirty secret” and things would wind up with Mikasa yelling at him over Levi. He’d decided that he wouldn’t allow anyone to blame Levi for this. He’d been the one to leave the house. Levi loved him so much he let him go, and with time he’d have a baby to think about.
“Eren, if you’re not up to this...”
Placing his hand on Armin’s, Eren gave a thin smile
“I know. But if I look at as another job you could say I’m going undercover as a loving son who doesn’t have daddy issues”
“I really do think one day you need to tell Mikasa”
He probably should have but what would it change? The only thing it’d do would be upset his sister and he was the one with the issues not her. It wasn’t like his father tried to kill him because he was acting sane, no, he tried to kill him because he’d lost his mate and had a “broken” son
“You know how much she’s lost. Grisha loves her and I don’t want to take away her father. I’m the one with the issue with him”
“I know. I feel like I’ve become super protective of you since you came home again”
That was probably an alpha thing, yet Eren was going to take it as a best friend thing seeing those feelings ran both ways
“You always have been. I’m really grateful, but I do have to do the grown up thing and grow up”
“It’s a trap”
“I know. Everyone fosters all these dreams in children and then they find themselves unprepared for the real world. Fuck, I’m going to be that annoying pessimistic father, aren’t I?”
“That just makes me the awesome fun uncle”
“You’re already awesome. And I don’t know if Jean counts as an uncle because he’s a horse, so you really don’t have any competition when you think about it”
“Now now, there must be a reason Mikasa stayed with him. Things seem pretty stable”
Eren groaned, but his heart wasn’t in it. The pun so Levi like that it tugged at his heart
Armin was sooo fucking pleased with himself
“Yep. Give me tonight and I’m sure I’ll have a slue of puns by the end of it”
“There’s really no need”
“Sure there is. Okay, do we need a code word? In case... you know...”
Oh... yeah. He’d gotten good at the sudden need to vomit
“I’m pretty sure me excusing myself to the bathroom is all the code word I need. They really should spray this place with shitty canceller”
“I meant if you needed a break, but that works too. I can try scenting you?”
Eren’s stomach turned at the thought. He didn’t want to be scented by any one other than Levi, his own scent would have turned distressed if his shitty glands weren’t covered... then Armin would have been embarrassed and things would been awkward. He’d taken to sleeping with them covered so as to not give too many of his emotions away
“No... I... it’s an omega thing”
“It’s a “I’m still in love with Levi thing”. You can say it. You were with him for months through a lot”
“Well, it’s that... but... my omega is still so hopeful that... fuck, ‘Min, it’s really fucking hard”
Armin squeezed his arm at the same time Grisha spotted them
“I’m sure it is. You’re going to okay. I bet he’s as miserable as you are”
Eren didn’t want Levi to be miserable. He did for breaking his heart, but truly he didn’t. Not being able to message him was the worst bit. No more keeping Levi entertained at work as he bemoaned whatever he was doing
“I’m... I’m sorry, but can... can you not? He made it really clear and it sucks how much everything hurts still. I want to move forward but...”
“But I keep mentioning him because I don’t think. I’m sorry, just hit me or something in the future”
“I might just do that. But no offering to scent me, that’s... that’s too far”
“Okay. At least you can smell everyone now?”
Noooo. No, he definitely missed the days his nose didn’t work overtime
“I fucking hate it...”
“Just think you’ve got like another 32 weeks of this”
He couldn’t pick up on everyone’s individual scents, it was more like walking through a thick bog of rotten plant material. His senses hated it and couldn’t break things down because they just weren’t that used to this smell thing. Every alpha smelt wrong to the point they smelt like a threat to him and the baby. Tonight was going to be a very long night... and 32 weeks... The idea of putting up with this for 32 weeks definitely didn’t seem like a fun time ahead.
Sitting between Mikasa and Armin, the awkwardness began. Mina climbing into his lap to almost immediately ask the thing Eren dreaded the most
“Uncle Eren, when are you going to stop wearing those things on your neck?”
Okay, the thing he second dreaded the most... the first being what came out of Mikasa’s mouth a few moments after scolding her daughter
“Mina, leave your uncle alone. I told you he and Levi had fight and now uncle Eren is back to stay”
Mikasa’s form of scolding took a sharp right turn Eren didn’t need
“Mikasa, you don’t tell the kids that. Levi’s still on the case in Stohess and you know I can’t talk about that”
Settling herself down, Mina’s back was pushed up against his stomach uncomfortably. He didn’t like having his stomach touched at all anymore. Even Armin got his hand slapped away when he went to joke about his coming niece or nephew. Mikasa moved Mina’s cutlery over, Eren caught his niece’s hands in his before she could start playing with it
“I know what you said. I still half expected him to show up tonight. It would have been nice for dad to meet Levi. Everyone else has”
“He can’t help that he has to work”
Grisha seemed to see this as an in. Seated across from his father at the furthest point he could, Eren hadn’t even been able to meet the man’s eyes
“Yes, Eren. It would have been nice, but how have you need? Mikasa said you’ve finally begun to present”
Shoot him. Shoot him now...
“Busy with work. You know how it gets”
“A phone call every now again would be nice. You know Zeke’s become a father now. I’m grandfather to three, I feel so old”
“I couldn’t call when I was undercover. I had to get permission from the commanding officer to stay in contact this time”
“You could have called when you landed yourself in hospital. I wanted to come but Mikasa explained you didn’t want a fuss, and Zeke...”
“It’s fine. That was months ago now”
“Still, what happened... I might know a plastic surgeon that can help with your glands...”
“They’re fine the way they are. I’m used to keeping them covered”
Grisha had the nerve to sigh at him. Eren was being civil enough, and didn’t need his father coming at him like this
“I’m only trying to help. You’ve always been stubborn. You are my son, and if you are presenting as you say you are, I should know how you’re going”
Oh lord did Eren want to snap
“I’m fine. Everyone is fussing too much. I’m sorry Levi couldn’t be here, but he’s working on a pretty big case right now. Thankfully his coworkers only met me once so his cover remained intact”
He wasn’t sorry at all. Levi would have gotten pissed already at Grisha and Eren would have turned to him for comfort...
“He must be rather important to be on such a top secret assignment”
“He is. His department runs undercover like ours only a bit different as we specialise in drugs. He’s second in command and has two teams”
“I’d like to hear more about that. I’m still in shock that you were undercover after that unfortunate incident with your old partner”
Jean cleared his throat. Eren wanted to believe his brother in law was bailing him out, but knew it was more to do with Marco’s memory
“Why don’t we skip all that for now? I’m sure Eren will tell us whatever he thinks is necessary”
Grisha chuckled, reaching out to ruffled Thomas’s hair, the toddler squealing at his grandfather
“I’m sure you understand parental concern here. You never stop being a parent, and when you get to my age, gossip is as good as it gets with this one”
Maybe if Grisha picked up the fucking phone and actually tried to have a civil conversation things would be how they were now? Mikasa struck again
“Dad! Don’t rile him up. Pixis said you’re coming back to work here. That means you’re staying here for a while, aren’t you?”
“For the moment. He wanted me back after all those busts in Shinganshima”
“Shinganshima isn’t the place it used to be. I could barely believe that the police managed to apprehend so many suspects”
Armin wanted to help. Eren knew it before his friend opened his mouth
“You do know that most of that happened because of Eren’s work there? He made quite the team with Levi, and Levi’s been really good with Eren. I don’t know the specifics but he was the one to help Eren when he started presenting”
A lusty Levi barely happened and the last time it did was because his mate was responding to his change in pheromones... He wasn’t like his dad. He didn’t sleep with anyone and everyone on a whim
“It wasn’t like that. We tested as compatible partners”
“I’m very surprised you found some you matched with. Given that beta’s tend not to have compatible partners. What percentile did you fall in?”
Armin tried to save him and failed again
“He and Levi were like super compatible, that’s what Hannes said. It was meeting Levi that caused Eren’s dynamic to shift”
“But what are we talking about? I know I matched high with your mother... we were in the 80’s”
And look had what happened there. Carla died and Grisha went mental... He wanted to scream at everyone there to shut up about Levi already. He wanted to move on already, though he knew he’d never meet anyone like Levi ever again he wasn’t about to be a clingy desperate ex. He’d explain they’d broken up once he was in a better place to cope
“Levi and I matched on everything. I didn’t come to dinner to be grilled about my alpha, I came to dinner to see my family. No more talking about me and my love life, or my glands”
That might have been a bit harsh, Mina lost her happiness in his lap. Cuddling his niece he kissed her hair
“Uncle Eren is sorry. He just misses Uncle Levi lots, but he’s happy to be here”
Mikasa placed her hand over his
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started. I’m just worried about you and Levi. You’d tell us if there was more, wouldn’t you?”
“Yeah, but you need to get that it isn’t easy. He’s my mate. You know how much he cares”
Grisha had to get the last word in
“I’m sorry, but you’re bonded? How long have you known him? It seems all of this happened rather fast. Was he there for your heats? And did your heat trigger his rut? I remember the times Carla and I spent together...”
Before his father could make things much much more awkward, Eren interrupted
“Can’t bond with how damaged my glands are, but the pull between compatible partners is no joke. Levi really helped me out and I owe him a lot... So no, I mean he was there every time I needed him but he couldn’t mark me as his. Anyway, I know you’re dying to tell us more about Zeke and Diana, how’s Marley?”
Eren didn’t particularly care to hear Grisha’s love for his perfect dominant alpha brother. Anything to get the attention of him, even if it meant listening as Grisha started going on about his brother. Did Grisha ever talk about him? Diana probably didn’t want to know... They’d been so close... now it felt like his father would never be that close again, no matter how much time passed, he couldn’t... set himself up to be hurt by him again. Not before and not now he had a baby to think about. Him and his baby had to start coming first.
Dinner had gotten so awkward that Armin had gotten a little creative with the truth to cover both of them leaving early. Twice Grisha tried to have him show his damaged glands and twice Eren had wanted to sink under the table and die. Eren was sure Zeke would keep Grisha off his back for hours, it turned out that with a couple of drink, Grisha wanted to talk about how he and Eren had been close and how he wished that hadn’t changed seeing “he’d been such a loving child”. Then his nose had started bleeding... Excusing himself to the bathroom, Armin hadn’t noticed the drops of blood and followed after Eren ready to hold his hair back or at least guard him from Mikasa trying to come into the gently. Jean had followed Armin, probably on Mikasa’s’ orders, so as Eren wiped at his nose, he felt claustrophobic having two alpha’s staring at him in the mirror.
Before blowing up about not needing a babysitter, let alone two, to deal with a blood nose, Armin launched explaining to Jean this was all part of Eren’s presentation. He wasn’t exactly wrong, Jean wrinkling his nose when Armin started on about how Eren usually came down with either vomiting or diarrhoea bad enough that he’d stink out the whole house. Jean didn’t seem so sure, but seeing it was Armin and Eren looked sufficiently embarrassed, his was let off the hook. Armin “pleading” with him to apologise to Mikasa and Grisha, but they really had to go home before Eren shat himself.
Having reported back to the table, Eren walked into Grisha as he left the bathroom. His father there for no good reason. Placing his hand on his forehead, Eren immediately whimpered at the touch of his father. It wasn’t the same as when Levi checked for a fever... Grisha’s expression hardened
“Eren, you should know I’m not about to hurt my son”
“Sorry, it’s dynamics”
“Not that I’ve seen. Look, I don’t know what you’ve built up in your mind, but I don’t appreciate you acting cold towards me. It’s not good for Mikasa, she worries about you as it is”
“We can’t upset Mikasa. Sorry I’m not in the mood after having you all question my life choices and listening to how great Zeke is. I’m going home”
“Eren... Please listen to me. Look, I have connections in Marley that can help with your glands...”
Eren shot a glare at his father. He’d sat through dinner behaving himself and trying not to cry over his ex-alpha, and now thanks to Armin he had the chance to leave politely
“Grisha. I know you think you’re doing the right thing, but it’s been a long time since you acted like my father. It’s too late to start now”
“What are you talking about? You’re the one who...”
“Thought you were going to murder me. When mum died you started acting crazy. I never knew what to do or say without you blowing up. You want to talk about my glands? I don’t. I’m fine the way I am. Now, Armin and I are going home. It’s too late for me to be the son you wanted”
Storming off, Armin followed. His best friend didn’t say anything when Eren grabbed his helmet off his bike and passed it over. Eren wasn’t in the mood for this shit and he wasn’t sure he regretted snapping at Grisha in the slightest. He was hungry, nauseous, tired and sore. He wanted Levi there to pat him on the head, but the best he could hope for was his bed... Today had been too long.
tbh i feel bad for matpat
I was watching for this goal for a few weeks. I want to say thank you, sincerely, for the likes, comments and just enjoying the stuff I’ve been posting. It honestly means a lot to me, and helped me throughout the last year when things got rough.
I love you all, and thank you for the 2k followers. You all mean a lot to me!
Much love as always,
Gently puts this on the ground... what if i tried tumblr again?
first post and its gay as FUCK
i had the idea the other day of rocket inc starting a program to get more pokemon into their hands and james is an unlucky employee 3 and who knows maybe i'll expand this idea but for now its this
Uuuugh...it’s getting...harder to move...
Don't talk to me.
I just learned that FNAF Matpat Mpreg is canon...