流星に囲まれて ⋆ もしかしたら叶うかもしれないよ
流星に囲まれて ⋆ もしかしたら叶うかもしれないよ
★ μ’s Christmas Icons *:･
ʚ requested by anon
Happy Birthday Dom!
Give the drummer some birthday love!
MUSE - Pressure [Official Music Video]
Rosalba Carriera (Italian; 1675 – 1757), A Muse (c.1725)
Pastel, 12.2 x 10.3 cm
The J. Paul Getty Museum, Los Angeles, USA
NO EXIT ORION | Nico, Rin, Umi
2 of my mutuals, recently asked me since when i’ve been a fan of Kpop or if i’m new to it, since i’ve been reblogging stuff from my favorite group this past days…
Truth is… i’m not exactly new to Kpop, i’ve been a stan since late 2018 but i’ve never shared my love for it because until recently, i had a friend who when i started to go into it, they made fun of me and made me feel ashamed of my tastes. They told me stuff like “But you always liked Rock, why do you suddenly like that garbage” or “Please don’t tell me you’re gonna become a stupid fangirl of chinese boys (In spanish they literally told me “Chinos” which means chinese boys)” Of couse that last comment was immersed in ignorance and prejudice.
Besides, all the people I knew around me who liked
Kpop, fell into her image of a “Kpop Fangirl”. Which where girls deeply
obsessed with the likes of BTS and EXO in a bad way, girls who also made
fun of other people if they didn’t stan their groups. I personally tend
to stan more Girl groups over Boy groups, and I also got made fun of
because of that, by girls who stanned BGs.
So that proved her point and made feel deeply ashamed of what I liked, so before, when I would met a new person, I would show them my music library because I was proud of it, and that was my way of making new friends who also liked the same thing as me. After I started to like Kpop more and more, I stopped doing that and didn’t want to show anyone what I had because, once again, I felt ashamed and was also scared that they would made fun of me. That also translated to here, even if I don’t have that many followers or mutuals, I also felt ashamed of posting about my likes around here, don’t ask me why, but I did.
The change came, when
after a series of other events, me and that friend parted ways. I got a
new set of friends who some of them also were fans and invited me to
activities related to that and I had the chance to meet other people who
didn’t made fun of me, who liked the same groups or intruduced me to
new ones, they even got me to stan EXO, something that I didn’t want to
do, considering the set of fans of them that I met. And the ones that
didn’t like the genre, also accept me and actually listen to me when I’m
excited for a new song or album.
I also reconnected with my high school friends who were suportive of me in other stuff besides my taste of Kpop, like my sexuality for example, I also got my best friend to like Kpop and now we both fan girl over our favorite groups and the rest just let us be.
After a while, I started to feel comfortable
again with what I liked, now I’m proud of my music library and show it
to everyone who asks or even go out of my way to show it, I speak more
openly of stuff that makes me excited.
Finally, for some of
you, this may be something stupid or ridiculous, but what I want you to
understand is that for more than a year, I repressed myself, I lost my
self esteem, when I found myself liking sometime else, I didn’t had the
urge to share it with my then group of friends, even if it wasn’t Kpop, I
just felt stupid, ashamed and alone since I didn’t felt represented by
the fans that I did knew who also went against me. I even felt guilty
because, for that same group of friends, I was the girl who didn’t like
the “Mainstream” who had “Good Taste” that stanned rock and indie bands,
who was not a “stupid fangirl” I felt like I was betraying them and
even myself, something that I now know was stupid and completely wrong.
They even made me doubt my taste in my all time favorite bands, like
Muse or Rammstein.
Now I feel proud and happy to share what I
like, I feel comfortable, I know that there’s still people who will
judge me for my likes, but I also know that behind me there’s a set of
people who will have my back and I also know that no one can make me
feel shamefull or guilty. If something makes you happy, you shouldn’t
feel bad or ashamed, and if you have someone in your life who makes you
feel like that, they aren’t your friends, you should feel comfortable
sharing what you like and I promise you will find those who will share
your tastes or at least respect them.
I know this started
being specifically about Kpop, but I feel like this could apply to a lot
of other things, like if you’re a boy who likes to do make up, wear
dresses or other traditionally “girly things”. Or a girl who likes
comics, sports, or other traditionally “boyish things”
No one has the right to tell you that your source of happines is stupid.
If you don’t like something, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t respect it, the happiness of another person is not yours to judge or berate, you don’t know if thats the only thing that keeps them alive.
To finish this off, I’m looking for mutuals for my favorite bands and artists, even those outside kpop, I will leave them on the tags, if you like any of them, send me a message please. Thank you for reading all of this, I know it was long, i also apologize for any grammar errors, english is not my mother language but I tried.
I swear to Gods Bellatrix Lestrange née Black is a muse.
“I hail from the dark side. For all my life, I’ve been besieged. You’d be scared living with my despair. And if you can feel the things, I am able to feel.”
I feel this song is my anthem. My whole life I’ve been criticized for something I am not, and unable to be. My mother wanted me to be a saint. She expected me to be virtuous, but I am not. I am tainted and corrupted. Raised from a religious background, I was told God created us in his image, but if that is true then I must be an anomaly. I am far from grace. God made a mistake when he created me.
I’ve come to terms with my dark side. It’s my own burden to deal with. I hide it from people so that they may not fear me, and I can have a normal life. My outer shell will represent the opposite of the storm that rages on within me. I’ve made the mistake in the past to expect others to be my savior and break me out from this prison.
No more. I am my own savior. I will battle my own demons and be triumphant.