#musings Tumblr posts

  • If you’re my favorite character… I’m sorry.

    I’m sorry because I am a writer.

    I’m sorry because there is one undeniable truth-

    and that to bring me joy you, my beloved, must suffer.

    I’m apologizing now, before the story starts-

    Because by the end of it you’ll be tired

    Your emotions will be wired.

    And, love, you’ll end up wishing

    that my eyes had never set upon you.

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  • rupert giles had TONS of time to convince people to like jenny calendar and she still got booted from the scooby gang . what did he do? nothing. what did i do? write fanfiction so prolific that multiple people over the last five years have come to me saying i changed their mind about jenny. hello, and welcome to my campaign for the position of jenny’s #1 stan, where i finally take down the major competition: giles. in this speech i will

    #musings#jenny calendar #this post is mostly a joke bc there are so many prolific fic writers out there who have done jenny justice 🥺 #but im not joking about thinking i stan jenny harder than giles. square the fuck up england
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  • You know what doesn’t get enough attention in fanfics? Downtime.

    And I’m not talking about the likes of cutesy domestic fluff in an AU where nothing bad ever happens. I’m talking about what the characters would realistically get up to when they’re not busy fighting/adventuring/scheming/etc. It’s something which has fascinated me for a while now.

    The guards who are killed by the protagonist two sentences into the scene - what did they do after duty? The motherly figure of the group who spends most of their time doting on the rest - do they ever take a moment for themself? The vicious villain who plotted to take down the benevolent queen - do they ever pause scheming to read a good book? The monstrous beast the heroes slaughtered without an eyeblink - did it have its favourite chewtoy? The plucky protagonist thrown into a world so beyond their capabilities - do they stargaze when it’s their turn to take watch? Do they get headaches, insomnia, nightmares from the things they saw and fought against throughout their journey?

    And the rest of their party/found family - what games do they play, what stories do they tell around the campfire? Who is the best at preparing stew, and who dislikes spicy things? Does the cleric have their own morning rituals? Evening prayers? How does the fighter take care of their armour? Which two characters bicker over sharing tents, and who looks at them with exasperated fondness in their eyes? And the villain they’re tasked with defeating - do they gladly take off their armour at the end of the day because it’s heavy and uncomfortable? Do they play with their slobbering hellbeast like it’s a loyal and affectionate dog? Do they fall asleep over a desk full of maps and plans scribbled on parchment? Does a henchman hesitantly drape a blanket over their shoulders? Does the henchman return to the barracks and find them alive with laughter and music?

    Give me that side of the characters. Little slices of respite, glimpses beyond the blood and masks and winged helmets and gilded robes. I live for them.

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  • We are biped primates with five-pound brains, born helpless and crying into this world, dying the very moment we begin living. We walk around with our heads in the clouds, self-obsessed beyond reason, yet rarely aware of how small we are, each of us determined to leave a mark on the universe. Yet deep within the quiet of our selves, such a notion dimly exists- that we were born, we are suffering and we will die. After all, why else would we obsessively seek the material, excessively desire the other, throwing ourselves wholeheartedly into our work? We then create, created, worlds with dazzling
    possibilities, all to shout out into the endless void “We exist, notice us! We matter!”. Just like how humans do not care about insects, the Universe does not care what sorrows consume us, nor what heights we have scaled.


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  • “Where does everybody come from?

     How do you climb this mountain without a guide..?”

    #musings #hello hello to people who have followed me recently #which is a lot O_O #I appreciate it though welcome! #welcome to the yi zone where my pages are in disarray and it takes me all day to do 1 (one) RP
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  • In case you guys haven’t been blessed with this already!!!

    #musings #🐇go back to your stage [ooc] #Youtube
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  • anyone in this fandom who correctly sees past jenny’s sexy confident veneer to what is essentially a female giles with a few fun twists (kinda hates people, not great with kids but likes the scoobies for some reason, bored out of her skull in a day job that doesn’t intellectually stimulate her to the point where she antagonizes faculty members for funsies) is my friend and i love them. broke is giles’s hot girlfriend who’s cool and collected and sweet; woke is a goddamn idiot who basically went “haha if i steamroll rupert into driving me to the football game and then say really loudly that it’s a date it becomes a date. i am amazing at flirting” and the only reason that this worked was because the guy she was going after was at a stage of smitten terror that involved taking romantic advice from teenagers.

    #musings#calendiles#jenny calendar #i shame giles a lot on this blog i wanna make it fair and even #but SERIOUSLY the enduring myth of jenny as a normal human person has to be debunked #she’s petty and mean just like giles it’s why they work so well together #ideal soft man/feral lady combo
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  • We love being ignored by “friends”

    #musings#speakingintothevoid #like I literally texted him twice and havent even gottem one reply but I saw him online #I mean maybe I'm over reacting? #its been like 7 or more days #and what am I supposed to think when someone goes from texting me everyday at least once to not at all for a week straigh #like am I crazy? #I dont even know what I could have done to warrant this... #The last time we spoke we were on call for hours and all seemed fine #no fighting or nothing #he even said he would talk to me later... #🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
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  • Heavy, the wood born on my shoulder.

    Poked, prodded, bleeding for my kindness.

    I could see that horse in the distance.

    Further I climbed, until I could climb no further.

    I cried as I was lifted further, heights like this terrified me.

    I knew whose cup I drank from, but it was bitter.

    The horse strode closer, an agonizing gait.

    I felt a pain in my side, perhaps it was the dehydration.

    All I had was a bit of vinegar to slake my thirst.

    Finally, after hours, I met the pale rider.

    He took my hand, though they were pinned to either side.

    “Come now, let me help you down.”

    I cried, I begged to stay, wanting to see my influence upon the world.

    The hood turned

    “No, can’t be done.”

    I fell to my knees, pleading one more time

    “I need to see it myself!” The cry left me

    The rider extended a hand

    I was lifted to spaces well beyond my comprehension

    Metal men paraded, burning cities screaming my name

    A man in robes cried my name as women burned

    Strangers in strange clothes through stones at buildings instead of criminals

    Shattered, I begged the hooded man

    “Please, this cup more bitter than the last, let me rest!”

    He merely shook his head

    I knew I couldn’t get off

    I knew my kindness caused this.

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  • Dorothy - Raise Hell

    #musings #wicked little kinda love (regina and victor) #scienceandalcohol
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  • The Pretty Reckless - Going To Hell (Official Music Video)

    #musings #music that speaks to me
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  • image
    #words#musings#text #speed dating for ghosts
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  • ‘𝑨skew went the planning

    𝑩ecause of our notions,

    𝑪aused lots of lamenting

    𝑫id soil our emotions;

    𝑬dged then were our portions

    𝑭acetious was fought fight,

    𝑮one feelings then lotions

    𝑯elped both to become light.’

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  • When I feel appreciated and cared for, I feel 100% more comfortable in my skin.

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  • i have all the emotions but none of the word power so inside my brain it’s just incomprehensible nonsense about giles and jenny being their most authentic selves around each other but trying to find every excuse to prove that their partner isn’t Really the love they’ve been looking for, to the point where they’re constantly calling each other out for being dishonest and inauthentic and even breaking up over perceived lies

    #musings#calendiles #literally season three calendiles would have just been another season of them screaming at each other and breaking up again #you CANNOT change my mind #also. i might actually try and write the mirrorverse again at some point
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  • image

    “Where is everyone gettin’ a harem? And how?” The featureless entity inquired aloud to himself.

    image

    “…I want a harem!” The faceless entity added in a somewhat sour tone of voice.

    #sinday stuff#musings#dash commentary#ic #Gray does not have nice things :c
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