#my diary Tumblr posts

  • hertrionic
    17.09.2021 - 10 minutes ago

    no because why does my bpd have to show me terrible images even when i'm asleep what's the point of activating my abandonment slash betrayal fear when i am supposed to be resting what's the point

    #good thing i decided to start a diary because i can't imagine saying any of the stuff on my mind right now anywhere else #well maybe to my partner depending on the day but #still #journaling will save me it will fix me
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  • softhyungkyun
    17.09.2021 - 34 minutes ago

    🌱

    #rambling #its been a while since i've written for the diary so i wont complain about the chronic pain :P #i bought some halloween beanie babies as a ~treat~ and they arrived today!!!!! #their so cute and they make me so very happy <3 #i feckin love halloween i've been in halloween mode since sept 1 LETS GOOOO!!!! #halloweens on the weekend this year #so im hoping i can see my friends or something >.< #also i made plans to go hiking with my friend on sunday #but she wants to leave at 6:30am so she can get back before work and 💀 #im gonna have to get up at 6 on a SUNDAY the LORDS day 💀💀 #i wanna go hiking and spend time with my friend but god at what cost... #i can just nap in the afternoon to catch up on sleep #im just worried about sleeping through my alarms >.< #i gotta sleep now i got work tomorrow #tgif 👵 #im just an adult trying to make it to the weekend every week ksdfjnjks #goodnight <3
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  • sugarinpills
    17.09.2021 - 36 minutes ago
    You steal my time, you steal my energy.
    You crack my courage, frustrating the wait.
    Meanwhile, I wait for the evenings and afternoons that await the evening, as the morning is not lived.
    Destroy my happiness, because you are just before my eyes, silent and even alone. And your eyes steal the light from me so that you can shine in mine.
    All this consumes my pain dull and slow; all this consumes me.
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  • laissez-fire-oh
    17.09.2021 - 1 hour ago

    SO I come from a culture that believes if your left ear is ringing someone is thinking about you, while if it’s your right one ringing someone is talking bad about you.

    NOW if anyone is thinking about me please stop. It’s already more than enough

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  • redfeathered
    17.09.2021 - 1 hour ago

    The boyfriend has the C.

    What a nice surprise to start into this wonderful Friday.

    #Which means for me:waiting waiting waiting #And if they decide I have to stay in quarantine too #I gotta get creative with work #Or call in sick #(the boyfriend is almost fine so I have mind capacity to be frustrated about work) #Also our whole weekend is canceled now #Obviously #tumblr is my diary and you can read along
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  • pizzapizzadickz
    17.09.2021 - 2 hours ago

    .

    #personal#diary #im lonely and sad again #i want someone to promise to always he with me and to love me too just like the story i read #i wish i could have a pure love like that. but i know that wont happen anytime soon. #honestly im lucky im not ina abusive relationship again #but maybe iys all in my head. like usual. #i mean i can never tell the difference between dreams and rwality. why start now. #i want someone to save me again. i always want somwone to save me. #i camt do the work myself. #i gues this is qhat dreams arw dor.
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  • driftbending
    17.09.2021 - 2 hours ago

    listening to gaeta’s lament and crying just a little bit

    #alessandro juliani's voice is angelic and perfect #(since i realized he's L's english VA my life has not known peace) #and the song is tragic and lovely #(and reminds me of pippin's edge of night) #and gaeta's storyline is agony #and i love every little bit of it #e.e.c. diary #eta: the more i listen to the song the more i fall in love with it it's so damn good
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  • whoneedscanon
    17.09.2021 - 3 hours ago

    .

    #alright so ive been deep in a personal hp Renaissance #and obviously i hate jkr and denounce her transphobia #as I myself am trans #but I’m sitting in this really uncomfortable position of #is engaging with fan works of this transmisogynist? #is engaging with the books I already own transmisogynist #on one hand I am not giving her money #and I am ACTIVELY STANDING AGAINST EVERYTHING SHE STANDS FOR #but I just like….need my original coping mechanism to be an option when I need it #and I don’t know it’s just. I feel disgusting about it #but also my depression has latched onto this the first thing it ever latched into #*onto #and im just confused and unhappy with it #i just don’t want to hurt anyone. #idk anymore. #diary
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  • fallenrustyangel
    17.09.2021 - 3 hours ago

    Ive officially helped my best friend and lover pass on today. He died way too soon. And left me with all this love in my heart but ive vowed to send him nothing but good energy so today i am not sad today i am happy that my lover has reached the other side and is no longer haunted by this life he left behind he has healed and let go of it all and that brings me so much happiness. I know i will go down this road one day so all around its an experience that im glad to experience and feel. I love you Patrick you deserve everything and i hope your getting it. Till we meet again. You will always be in my heart. Im glad you've reached the end of your journey now and are now on the other side.

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  • fat-bird-enthusiast
    17.09.2021 - 3 hours ago

    i feel like i'm too much in that i provide too much information that isn't relevant or appealing many many people .

    if someone has a slight interest in marine ecology they may find my ramblings about whale falls entertaining to an extent, but my prose about the beauty of succession in the cycle of life in the most barren part of the oceans (by human standards), and how amazing it is that osedex worms bore through bones very similar to those who keep me upright may never be recognized or fully appreciated as the miracle i find it to be, and placing all my romantic hopes in that gambit of love at first endearing academic fixation is placing my bets on failure.

    i'd love to inspire love of the depths of life and perhaps even myself in another human being, but the fear of the unknown and distaste of imperfection in the world we life in seems too much to combat.

    #again. sorry to any poor souls who follow me on purpose but this is my diary right now #i'm drunk and have a legal right to be emotionally /he #that was meant to say /hj as in half joking #also i listened to a lot of nancy griffith today (yesterday?) so i'm feeling Bold and Sentimental
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  • georgestraitpridemonth
    17.09.2021 - 5 hours ago

    I need to clear out my purse i got way too much shit in it

    #i be carrying around a switch ereader diary pencil box earbuds wallet foundation lipstick and a billion reciepts #and then wonder why my shoulder hurts #mind u this is a purse purse not like a tote bag #or god forbid a backpack
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  • enjolrases
    17.09.2021 - 5 hours ago

    Been picking too much at the psychosis scab today wtf

    #diary #my brain is just like #ah thing that horrifies/terrifys/makes you deeply and viscerally uncomfortable??? #gotta spend the whole day thinking abt n researching it #made the mistake of watching Chernobyl #now I know what acute radiation poisoning looks like ad nauseum
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  • lonely-dog-song
    17.09.2021 - 5 hours ago

    I have an idea for 2 other blogs to make but I guess I could use my Cool URL that i am simply hoarding at this moment. idk what else i would do with it, but does it fit any of the blog ideas.......? much to think about

    #blog ideas of 1) screenshots of words & 2) dream diary #but should i just keep posting dreams here.....?? idk #i like 2 type my dreams so i think having a blog just for it would b neat #also my Cool URL is extremely long it's wheretheresawilltheresawhalebone #lol #lonely dog speaks #i get so talkative at night and so sleepy RRAGHH *transforms into. a sleepy bitch*
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  • mickeyblades
    17.09.2021 - 5 hours ago

    I finished Atelier Ryza 2! I beat the first one earlier this year and it was my first time with an Atelier game and I liked it so much I wanted to play the second one for sure! This game is a great, comforting game. I really like the aspect of collecting items to make stronger and stronger items because I would get so excited with each new area to find new ingredients. The new characters are pretty cute too, but I just love Ryza a lot! She’s so adorable! The story was pretty meh but not in a bad way, just kind of exactly what you would expect: no big shocks or twists and turns. But again, the game is so comforting to sit and play that it didn’t really matter to me. I’ve been busy lately with my clinical rotation so it was nice to come home, turn on Ryza and watch a movie or show alongside it! On to the next game!

    #ashley opens her mouth #my gaming diary #atelier Ryza 2
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  • ilovecatsandbaking
    17.09.2021 - 5 hours ago

    I've realized that my taste in everything has changed.

    I don't if it's part of growing up or something but I'm changing into a different person.

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  • plantbutter
    17.09.2021 - 6 hours ago

    BY FAR the worst part of social media is the feeling of being constantly watched

    #like i was scrolling through my letterboxd diary and i was like wow you sure do like a lot of movies.. you should reevaluate that. #like !??/?!!? who in their right mind #as if there’s someone scrolling through my page judging me for liking the shit that i like 😭 #anyways. goodnight!!!! i enjoy movies (affectionate)
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  • weirdogroup
    17.09.2021 - 6 hours ago

    i think i feel a little bit better now. maybe i will be okay. i can focus on myself and my interests and lack of hobbies. i can really find myself now that im, well, alone. it hurts still, but im not crying daily anymore. instead, i’ve resumed knitting my blanket. i started knitting it at the start of 2021 when i was with a previous partner. the plan was to knit it big enough for us to cuddle underneath. too bad that relationship fell though. dont get me wrong, it was a good relationship, but just not enough of what you need in a relationship -- what i need. at least im finally finishing that now though. its about 5 feet long and 2 feet in length currently, but im hoping it gets to about 6 feet in length. its a good thing i stocked up on yard for it and majorly overestimated how much i would need. 

    i feel a bit less stressed about school though. it feels manageable, but the grades are going to get to me eventually. they always do. at least after this year, im finally going to start truly working and finish up my degree. then hopefully move in with some friends because god, do i wanna get out of my home right now. my parents are great, but they can be overbearing and hurtful. they dont understand over-sensitivity and how to handle it. big surprise! telling your child that if they cry everytime someone yells that they’ll never make it through life really hurts them mentally and makes them cry more. either way, hopefully i keep these friends for 2 years so the plans can happen.

    while im getting it all out there though, i’ve realized im incredibly broken and hurt. i’ve never taken the time to address my mental issues and everything like that. i’ve repressed it all and buried it so i didn’t hurt myself or others. now? im actually addressing things and doing good for myself. my thoughts arent the greatest at the moment, but im at least being open and honest. one thing thats really hitting hard is the amount that i dont like how i look. not in the sense of “i weight too much and have fat rolls” or anything that i can change. I feel comfortable with my shape, but not my parts. upon more thinking, im not transgender, or genderfluid, or gender queer, or any of that. its so confusion and i wish i was born different. its hard coping, but at least i’ll live.

    #my diary#just talking #thinking out loud #you arent alone #questioning myself #i miss having a partner #im really clingy #i probably need therapy
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  • almostemptyinside
    17.09.2021 - 6 hours ago

    When an actor talks and there’s no one to hear him, is he still an actor?

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  • ladyelainehilfur
    17.09.2021 - 7 hours ago

    Eyeeee need a name for personal posts. Let's see...

    LE talks

    LE talks to the wall

    LE needs therapy

    LE talks to you against your will

    LE does her purple prose thing

    LE ignores her schoolwork

    LE addresses the nation

    LE snake diaries

    LE rants with merry abandon

    LE goes bog-standard

    LE cringes in E-minor

    LE presents a new flavor of vanilla

    Yeah... most of these are too long.

    #LE snake diaries #see I don't like the word diaries... #maybe adress the nation #we'll see which sticks #I'm ignoring my homework rn btw
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  • shojoboy
    17.09.2021 - 7 hours ago

    O I am sique. I am eel

    #fäther I ám oonwell #diary entry #I’m ok actually I think I just really feel like shit for no discernible reason #other than maybe my generally unhealthy lifestyle
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