#my life Tumblr posts

  • I’d like to thank all the higher powers for the amazing Anesthesiologist I had today. I have highly collapsible veins. You put a needle anywhere near them and they crumple up quicker than dusted MCU heroes. There are very few areas on my body where the veins are sturdy enough to support an IV port. This man found a NEW ONE. I warned him about my veins and he replied, “Don’t worry, I’m VERY good at finding good veins”. He wasn’t lying. 

    He was very gentle and kind and considerate. He made me feel heard and reassured. And he didn’t leave me with an absolutely massive hematoma. Which is a goddamn miracle. 

    I am also afraid of needles. I’ve more control of it now with adult experience and body agency but I let him know this as well. I said, “I’m also afraid of needles so I’m not going to look at you, okay?” And he said, “You can look anywhere you like.” Then proceeded to talk to me while he prepped me. He sat directly next to me where I could see him after the port was secured and helped me get my arm comfortable. After all the “ready”s had been said, he asked me, “Ready?” and I said “Yes.” And then he said, “This may burn a little bit, okay?” Which…I dunno if it was supposed to and he was warning me or if he was distracting me with that. But, I never felt a burn. I took the deep breath to brace for burn and then I was waking up.

    I must have told every nurse and doctor to thank him for me because he was so kind to me. As I was leaving recovery, he was going into another procedure but stopped by on his way there. He waved at me and was like, “You’re welcome!” And honestly, he deserves a raise. He’s top tier medical staff. I will fight anyone who says otherwise. 

    I hope he has an amazing year. 

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  • You don’t have to be good at the things you enjoy. You don’t have to be good at the things you enjoy. You don’t have to be good at the things you enjoy!

    #my life#mental health#recovery#perfectionism #say it with me #say it with your chest
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  • An incomplete list of gifts I’ve received from my grandmother over the years:

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    A screaming goat mask with real goat horns that she smuggled out of Mexico

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    Four gargoyles

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    An Aztec warrior carved out of goat bones, and a biker gnome made of a coffee can and stuffed with new underwear

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    The Ark of the Covenant

    #my life #god bless her
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    Sometimes you build a home

    In the middle of the forest

    To protect yourself from the elements

    Forgetting the fact that

    You are the storm

    From which you seek refuge

    So open the door

    And set yourself free

    Do not fear what you control

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  • god I did a treadmill jog then anki’d while walking, took the giant box to the dumpster, did a load of laundry, fed the starter and did some solid studying? did the rona shot lift the veil of rona depression for a brief and beautiful moment? did it make me more productive??

    #hr 24: arm awfully sore but no worse than last night #my life #still need to fold vacuum and scrub the bathroom but like... good for me!
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  • Life update; had amazing sex last night for the first time in A WHILE. And I didn’t have a panic attack!!!! Fuck yes!!

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  • She was private. Quiet. She also had a depressive, dark side, and he was oblivious half the time. A shitty match for survival if you ask me.

    -Gregg Olsen

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    I just wanted my English not good because they don’t live an English speaking state, wow, so excuse me for the mistakes, I’m still learning it and that’s all we wanted.

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    From my Mount Auburb excursion yesterday. 🙂

    #mount auburn cemetery #my life
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  • Too much, very much, infinitely, etc. are some words that up till some time ago I thought to be used to describe intensity or abundance of something but now, I find them insufficient and incapable of describing my love for her. Either these words are too small or my love for her is superfluous, and I believe it to be the latter.

    I just want to be her’s forever and ever. I am writhing in ecstacy of her love. I can only imagine what would it be like when this all comes true, the day I turn the page to the most beautiful time of my life.

    I love you the way no one could ever love anyone. I need you the way I need air to breath. You are the one and only love of my life.

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  • (For the sake of any copyright drama, World sprite is by Panic-Is-My-Rain and the other stuff is just google images)

    #my life #writers on tumblr
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    #me#mine#lesbian#ldr#own photography#uk #girls who like girls #redhead #long distance relationship #my twin flame #my world#My love#My life#ldr couple
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    “أدركت بعد غيابك، أن تلك اللّيالي الباردة التي كنت أشعر فيها بالدفء، لم تكن بسبب ثقل ملابسي، لكن بسبب شعورِ قلبي،

    بالطمأنينة وهو بجوار من يُحب 💔☘️!”.

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  • I hate it when people end a relationship by saying there’s just not enough communication… wtf is that excuse? There are 2 people in this thing. If you really needed to talk about your feelings or how alone you felt at the time… why didn’t you just call? Why think the other can read your fucking mind? I don’t understand this immature way of thinking. This type of thinking is why relationships fail. People don’t truly understand what a relationship is and the hardships that come with it. They don’t have the proper mind set for patience and perseverance through those small hardships. Personally, those types of people shouldn’t seek relationships out… they don’t deserve to destroy another human being when they give excuses and, up and leave with no real explanation. I don’t understand how someone could do this anyway. Blows my mind to think there are people in this world that think this is an okay and justifiable thing to do.

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  • Your silence in our greatest time of need killed us and anything more we could have become.


    I know you’ll come to regret your decision. When you do finally look back at what I was and what you truly were to me… don’t call asking to get back together. By that time my broken heart will be healed and moving past the past. My heart doesn’t need someone like you.

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  • Well, I’m going to my grandfathers funeral today and I also just found out my grandmother might not be moving in with us, and therefore our excuse for moving away is gone, so she could move in with the grandparents of this sickly girl she’s a caretaker for instead.

    Dammit. I really wanted to move away from here and closer to what little family I have left. And they live somewhere more podunk than here but still within civilization enough to have big name craft stores.

    Oh well. Everything just really fucking sucks right now. I had to watch my grandfather wither away and die too. I was helping to take care of him and was there the night he finally died. Life just kinda blows, you know?

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    every day I have to go to work, is a day I’d rather stay home and cry

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