Like music, you sit on the tip of his wine glass,
Lending him words he’s long forgotten.
Like music, you sit on the tip of his wine glass,
Lending him words he’s long forgotten.
When the only thing that makes sense is the music in my head. Your words slow. No one understands whats going on in your thoughts. Your to scared to express them because people will judge you. No matter what you say its wrong. No matter how you express yourself they look at you differently. To scared to really tell them your words that want to escape your head. When you feel uncomfortable with the situation. What do you do?
just because something is conventional …
i’m telling y'all, the only thing i take delight in breaking are the twisted rules of convention.
sorry not sorry. i enjoy it when i don’t conform to society’s widely accepted standards because that totally pisses narrow-minded people off, lmao.
so yeah, i say damn tradition. do whatever the fuck you want, so long as it doesn’t hurt anybody, and it makes you the happiest you can be.
almost finished a drarry drawing that i’ve been procrastinating on for a few months :) it’s turning out well
The truth is always bitter and really hurts a lot. But have to face up to it as nothing can change it no matter how much we try.
I want to say thank you to all of my followers for supporting me and my book. Allowing me to bare myself to you all without judgement. I appreciate all the likes, shares and feedback. I carried so much shame for so many years, now I am beginning to feel free of it all.
I hope you are enjoying what I’ve written so far, there is more juicy content to come. Feedback is encouraged. <3
Like, Comment, Share my posts and follow me for more Innocence - Undressed.
The words were said so clearly that night; “I still hate dreaming.”
Though, I said this so confidently within one; “I want the waves to take me, and carry me.”
I wasn’t below, no not one bit.
I was floating.
For now, this one is unable to swim, but this one knows to float, so this one did.
The night’s as black as they come.
Deep blue was this liquid of solace.
Why that? Why there? Because it was different.
Not the sea, but the air looking at me.
It’ll follow, and it’ll revive.
The waves will take me, and carry me to where I need to be.
Discovering our selves keeps us a life, give us hope, makes us wanna try to do a step forward
Discovering the beauty in our souls, getting to know what you really think cause your opinion matter…. YOU MATTER
You’re beautiful amazing confident all inside you waiting to be discovered no matter how much it takes
💙 in an other side while traveling on your own see do not forget why you came in the first place what need to be done with the new you, you should try and give your self a chance
It might be THE CHANCE.
I’ve been hallucinating a lot again. Starting to really scare me.
When I was leaving the kitchen I saw two long thin brown legs, it reminded me of a spider.
But just like all the rest I only saw it for a few seconds, also saw another dark figure as I was leaving.
I don’t think I’ve ever spoken about my psychotic symptoms on this blog but if it does get worse I’ll have to talk about it here every other place feels too impersonal or I’m just bothering people.
The Home Wrecker
Samantha was from Ottawa, 5'8 with long bright pink hair, ocean blue eyes and a smile that resembled Miley Cyrus’. She was nineteen years old and had fake double D boobs, an obvious spray tan, with a flat tummy and a tiny perky butt. Her looks alone would have men swooning over her, however, her squeaky, loud voice and a narcissistic personality that would detour men away… So you’d think, men loved her, they would bring her gifts all the time, so she’d say and she was friends with Alice, Harmony, Paige and Cherry.
Samantha loved talking about herself and being the center of attention. She would always be boasting about her “fabulous” life with her boyfriend while living in his parents basement. She would also go on about how perfect her body was and how she will never need to get work done. However, it was clear that she had work done on her boobs.
When Samantha was not the center of attention she complained about anything and everything.. “I am having such a horrible day, my boyfriend didn’t want to pay for my new tattoo,” she would say as she was coming into work. Or she would say things like, “OMG, why is Destiny getting another call, I’m hotter he should have picked me.”
One of the rules of the condo is; to not be seen by other girls’ clients. Samantha would break that rule every time by standing near the door so the clients would see her as they left. She would say things to the clients like, “Hey there, you like what you see?” “You should fuck me next time, I’ll show you a way better time than the last girl.” Actions like that would piss us girls off and Bella was one to never hold back. “Who the fuck do you think you are, poaching other girls’ clients?” Bella would say to Samantha. “Oh I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to do that,” Samantha said. She knew better but would act ditzy when being confronted.
Samantha would work four or five days a week and every time she would come into work, she would always have some tragic story that had happened to her to explain away her behavior or for the attention. One story she told that sticks out like a sore thumb was the time she came into work “crying”, telling all the girls including Lisa, “I got pregnant by a client!” Alice, Cherry, Rain, Paige and Harmony ran to her saying, “OMG are you alright?” “What are you going to do?” Lisa had even called Samantha saying that she will help her raise the baby because it’s a part of the PK family now…For the rest of the night Samantha had the girls’ attention while Bella and I kept our distance. Bella and I didn’t believe her story, considering she goes on about her bb (bare back) sex with her younger boyfriend.
A few weeks had passed, Samantha showed no signs of being pregnant nor brought it up since. So Bella decided to call her out on it. “Hey Samantha, how is the pregnancy going? How far along are you now?” Bella said to Samantha. “Oh I lost the baby yesterday,” Samantha replied. As Bella rolled her eyes, she snarked back, “Oh well that sucks, at least you didn’t get pregnant by a client.” You could tell Bella could see right through Samantha’s lies, however, Bella didn’t feel like entertaining the situation and walked away while flipping her hair off her shoulder. Samantha did not like being called out by Bella so she started to act out by crying and lying to the other girls that Bella was bullying her.
Though Bella had a reputation for being cold towards the other girls and known for having a disapproving attitude, Bella was no bully to Samantha. Bella was very forward with her feelings, especially if she didn’t like you or if she felt you were lying. A few more days had gone by and tension at the condo grew insufferable amongst the girls.
With Bella and Samantha fighting, Damien berating me with sexual advances, and non stop clients six days a week, I was falling behind in school. The girls started to take sides and cliques began to form, the Condo was never the same after that.
To be continued…
As time went on, every day except for Sunday’s I was working at the condo and attending school in between. I had come to realize what my reality really was as an Escort. I was lying to my friends at school as well as my new “boyfriend” Spencer. The more clients I had and money I was making, the more lies I spun. It also put a target on my back by other working girls. It also didn’t help that our driver, Damien, would sleep with every girl that worked at the condo. Except for those who are not into scrawny, arrogant and misogynistic men. Damien was trying to pursue me while he was engaging in a romantic relationship with another working girl, Samantha. I would always turn down Damien’s advances, but he would swear up and down that one day I was going to give in and fuck him in his tiny sports car.
Damien was thirty six years old, 5’4 with dark brown depleted eyes and modish clothing. His hair was always slicked back and greasy looking while wearing Dior Sauvage cologne. He was egocentric with psychopathic tendencies. If Damien took a liking to you, he would be this charming man, hanging on your every word as if everything you were saying was important. Many were fooled by his charm, however, I was not.
When there are six or more other girls working and only two rooms to use, other girls tend to get jealous of those who are getting “calls” back to back. They would look at me as if I were their competition. Which would give them a motive to sabotage my work environment. During the week I would work mostly with Rain, Bella, Samantha, Cherry, and Destiny. On the weekends there would usually be more girls because weekends usually were busier. Sometimes, women from Montreal and Toronto would be working at the condo as well. Weekends I worked with Cherry, Rain, Bella, Alice, Samantha, Destiny, Paige, Harmony and of course Damien would be there when he wasn’t driving girls to their outcalls. We had a full house, with clients coming and going every hour. I would be so busy at times that I wouldn’t even have enough time to eat or fix my makeup. I would finish up with one Jon and I would have a line up of others waiting in the building lobby until it was their turn.
I was also developing a close relationship to Bella, Cherry and Rain. The four of us would always try to work on the same days and we would get ready together in the Master bedroom. Working girls like Samantha would gossip to her “bestie” Alice and Paige, and giggle in the corner like school girls over Damien. Samantha loved patronizing other girls, especially those she deemed to be her competition. For some reason, Samantha never took a liking to me. In fact, it felt like she had this urge to sabotage me as Kendra and Annabelle. I never understood why she would set out to undermine me, she didn’t even know me. Unfortunately, I was not her only victim.
To be Continued…
There’s no proper way to go through endings, looking for an appropriate way to end things defeats the purpose of ending things, it’s chaos, don’t try to shape chaos into something that pleases your narrative, let it get ugly. All the ill flavored endings make way for magnificent beginnings.
i dont wanna miss you anymore…
when people ask me these days “what my type” is, the first thing that comes to my mind is, someone who sees me/the real me and loves me regardless. Like i have the feeling that most people that i meet or that i know, they see me but they don’t SEE me. Its weird i can’t explain it well haha.
is it weird that i hope that when they bring wilbur back he comes back, but only like…. 80%. like something is just slightly off with him. his jaw gets forgotten open and sometimes he pushes it close with a crunch. muscles work unevenly. he goes from needing help to open jars into accidentally shattering glass bottles by hand. little, less significant memories have disappeared, and he finds himself asking last names from people he used to confide completely to. mid sentence, mid walk, standing alone looking out the window, he can just forget himself, shut down completely. people nearest to him stop watching him too closely, because noticing he now breathes manually is just too much.
Other than I’m sorry
I wish I knew a way to apologize more sincerely than with words for all of the pain I caused you. I’d like to say I can imagine what you’re going through, but I can’t, not exactly. I know that if I could find a way to show you my heart and my head in the same fashion I show others pictures, I would. I would be vulnerable again for the chance to give you peace of mind. Even if just a little.
No sound will fall from my lips, but the words will reach their destination. Mute me and the world will never hear again.
-An ink drinker-
haven’t posted on youtube all last month and i wanna post but school got me tired and idk what to post :/