Pairing: Taeyong x reader
Genre: Series | Eventual Smut | Angst | Fluff (very rarely)
Warnings: strangers to lovers, slight abuse (?), mentions of death, depression, toxic relationships, established relationships
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5
Sudden death of Taeyong’s father changed everything in your life’s three years ago. It’s safe to say you never thought that you’re attraction to the weird guy from university would lead you to this. Being a fiancé to a CEO of one of the three big companies in the country, being a fiancé of Lee Taeyong.
First he was pissed, he obviously was pissed when his father’s people came to him with the proposal. The situation was urgent and even though everyone knew he’s not into business he was their obvious choice. He was the heir.
Nothing he did in his life ever showed any intention of running a business, especially a business of his father that he hated so much and you were endlessly surprised at the idea of him even considering it.
You found out about his dilemma around a week later. He came to the dorms, and with the way he pushed Momo out of the room you thought he wanted sex. You thought he was pissed and wanted to get it off on you. He did that sometimes since the day your relationships became ‘established’. You called them established to yourself after the accident. He stopped testing your limits with Yoona, he stopped being mean and he just stopped being anything but normal to you. Relatively normal, but it was more than relatively normal when it came to Taeyong, and it made you happy. It made you happy enough how he took you to places, found time sometimes to see you in school and never spoke to you as if you were meaningless. You guessed the accident made him realise how much you meant to him. Maybe it really made him realise he didn’t want to lose you. You never asked and never spoke about that day and he never did so either but the mean unfriendly Taeyong that everyone feared said I love you to you and made your heart tremble every time he called you ‘baby’ and it was enough for you to be happy.
“My father died.”
“What?” he sat on your bed lifeless. “When? Are you okay?”
“Last week. His employees came to me, they want me to take the lead.”
“Last week? Did you go to the funeral? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Taeyong, I’m so sorry. What happened?” you began mumbling
“Do you hear me?” he said roughly.
“Did you hear me?” you furrowed your brows.
“I fucking did.” he bit “I don’t know why he died, I didn’t listen, stroke or something, who fucking cares if he’s dead already.”
“He’s your dad…? Yes you didn’t have the best relationship but you lived together.”
“Y/n, our relationship is not like in movies, I won’t cry about him after he died. I hated him and still hate him. Old fuck even dead found a way to shit in my life. I didn’t go to the funeral, and I didn’t tell you because you’d force me to go and we would fight.” you sat back leaning on the wall. Taeyong noticed your quiet sulking, leaning in to you. “I’m totally fine, don’t worry about me. I came to talk, I have two options in life now. Either become a CEO or go completely broke. Pick a life you want to live.” he spoke, leaning against the wall with his palm to have a few centimetres left between your faces.
“Yes you, I came to you and ask for your advice because this decision is affecting both of us.”
“Taeyong.” you whispered and hugged him like a koala, wrapping your limbs around him.
“What?” he sounded confused making you wonder if he genuinely didn’t understand or just pretended.
“You never wanted this in life, I think you know better than anyone else what to tell them.”
“It’s not that simple.” he sighed and pushed back. “That’s why I came to you, you’re smart.”
“What are their conditions?”
“If I say no it’s simple. Freezing all the money I have, I reckon they’ll expel me from school too since I won’t have any more ‘power’” he showed brackets with his fingers.
“You’re not stupid, if you’ll start studying they won’t touch you.”
“It’s not that, everyone hate me to the gut already, me studying won’t help a thing now.”
“And if you say yes…?”
“It’s actually pretty simple too. I’m a toy, they won’t let me do anything, I know nothing about business, that’s why I’m their first option. I’m easy to do what they want me to do. I’ll have everything but power over the company.”
“Depending on how you look on it it’s not that bad of an option too, right?”
“Yeah, especially if you don’t mind being in jail.” he chuckled hopelessly.
“Why would you get in jail?”
“They’ll obviously at one point make me sign something I shouldn’t have to get rid of me.”
“You can tell them you’ll leave when they will want you to leave.”
“What if I’ll change my mind by the time?” he looked at you.
So this is what was bothering him. He didn’t want to lose power. Power of having everything under control.
“If you’ll change your mind I’m sure you’ll be educated enough to turn everything in your favour.”
“I’m really lost right now…” he sighed.
But he really didn’t have to tell you this, it was obvious. With the way he spoke and with the way he moved you guessed in no time. Taeyong was worried and even if none of these worries were about his suddenly passed away father, they still were based on serious matters. Matters that apparently he considered common for you two.
Six months after your conversation he graduated and became an official CEO. For the past months they trained him like a dog and visibly there was nothing left now from the guy that fascinated your imagination almost a year ago.
They sold the house, even though his mum protested at first, Taeyong refused to pay thousands of dollars for it monthly. He moved out to a pretty flat in the tallest building of the city and bought his mom a flat nearby. Suddenly she became a big part of his life, and you didn’t talk to him about it, but something told you she was sent by shareholders to watch him and control him.
Multiple times he tried to move you in with him but you protested vigorously knowing that you won’t be able to study properly if you’ll live with him. Also because he was all busy now and you’ll be alone all the time.
A year later you graduated and he took all of your belongings to his place without asking, making you officially move in with him.
Only then you properly experienced how quiet and passive he became. It was as bad as if a twin with absolutely different personality switched him. You tried to speak to him but one thing that didn’t change in Taeyong was his closeness, he’d get worked up quicker than you finish your sentence, and that became your little hobby, pissing the shit out of him. It was the only time he seemed alive and gave you the vibes of Taeyong that you loved.
“You never were a psycho, right?” you told him one day, when he sat on his side of the bed.
“What?” he turned around confused, undoing the cufflinks on the dress shirt he wore to work. You crawled over the bed to him, helping him to undo the buttons of the shirt. When you were done, you straddled him. Your hands pulled the shirt off his shoulders, letting it slide down his arms.
“You’re a great actor, that’s it. No psycho will turn into a CEO in less than a year.” you hugged his shoulders.
“I wasn’t acting.”
“I didn’t think so at the time too… but now it’s obvious you were just playing… for whatever reason… getting people’s attention?”
“What are you saying?” he furrowed his eyebrows.
“You fucked two girls at the same time, maybe even more, I don’t know. You peed in a fucking cup in the middle of cafeteria, you filmed girls have sex with you, you fought with your parents, gave no shits about studying, formed a gang and did stupid things, even acted different with me, but now… it feels like we’ve been married for at least 5 years and our children are in some sort of school far away from us, and I’m a wife that have nothing to do except for sitting on the bed, because everything is done by someone else and wait for my businessman husband to come and fuck me if he’s in the mood. That’s fucking boring, what’s wrong with you? Where are your friends? Did you do it to piss your father off and now you just don’t have a reason?”
“You’re asking me why I don’t pee in cups publicly and don’t fuck random girls and don’t film them anymore?”
“Forget it.” you slid off his lap. “Good night.” you kissed his cheek demonstratively and covered your head with the duvet.
You heard him stand up and walk out of room. You heard him whisper ‘fucking bitch’ under his breath before he exited. You tucked yourself under the duvet harder, trying to kill the tears that flooded your pillow quickly. He didn’t come back to bed, for the first time you slept separately. When you woke up he was already gone to work. You didn’t know yet he left the house in the night.
Taeyong opened the door to his office holding a tablet in his hands. His eyes were focused on the item he held and it took him a few seconds to notice you sitting on his chair. His hand found a switch, turning the lights on and his eyes finally focused on you. He seemed surprised and looked around the room as if he expected someone else to be there too. You smiled at him, moving your feet from his table to the floor, standing up.
“What are you doing here?” he asked confused.
“I came to see you.” you smiled and walked from behind the table. Taeyong’s eyes scanned your outfit, which consisted only of the jacket that you found on his chair and panties that he wasn’t able to see yet under the buttoned up jacket.
“Is that all you have on?” he gulped and walked towards you.
“See yourself.” you teased and he took one more step closer.
“I can’t.” he sighed and walked pass you to sit.
“Seriously?” you turned to watch him sit. You felt pissed, and anger burned your chest immediately. “Who do you think you are…?”
“What?” he placed his belongings over the table.
“Lee Taeyong I dated would already have fucked me on his table multiple times but I guess you’re someone else.” you pushed, balancing on the armrest you leaned over him.
“I’m at work.”
“This is your fucking company, this all is yours, we can do whatever the fuck you want to.” your anger turned slowly into upset. “Taeyong, baby, don’t act like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You don’t have to torture yourself all alone. I’m here to help, other people are here to help too. Responsibility doesn’t mean you have to switch personalities. I miss the you that kept me on edge. Why don’t you keep me on edge anymore?” you sighed, leaning in closer. Taeyong moved his eyes away, looking somewhere behind. “Fuck me.” you sighed into his ear. Taeyong locked his lips, thinking.
“Let me close the door.” his hand landed on your thigh, signalling for you to stand up.
“Anyone can walk in.” his other hand landed on your thigh too.
“That’s what makes it more exciting.” you whispered into his mouth, leaving a kiss on his lips.
Taeyong pushed you off his chair, sitting you on the table. His hands landed on your thighs again, running them up your bare skin under the jacket. “Underwear? Disappointing.” he chuckled. Taeyong’s fingers found the buttons of his jacket, undoing them quickly. The material fell onto your sides, revealing your naked body to Taeyong. His fingers ran over your stomach, grabbing your sides. He pulled himself closer to you while sitting on the chair, leaving wet trail of kisses from your belly button down to the line of your underwear. He stopped, looking up at you. Your fingers ran over his hair, pulling his head back closer to your body. He chuckled and placed one more kiss on your skin, getting lower. His lips ran over your clothed pelvis, leaving multiple kisses lower. “Take them off.” he commanded and moved away, allowing you to quickly take your panties off. You smirked, placing them into the chest pocket of his shirt and patting it afterwards. Taeyong lowered his head again, pulling his tongue out and sliding it down your entrance. You grabbed onto his head, pushing his head closer to you. He slid his tongue back up, and you pushed yourself back onto the table, spreading your legs wider. His head lowered more, flatting his tongue out against your vagina. He made a few licks, getting you all worked up in a second. Your hand grabbed onto his head tighter, pushing him against your centre harder. He sucked in air, forcing a moan out of your throat. You felt his fingers get inside of you at the same time with his mouth getting back to your clitoris, sucking on it sweetly. Taeyong’s fingers began slow pumping inside of you, forcing tiny moans get from your throat. Your body twitched under his touch, moving to meet him. Your insides pulsed, twitched and craved to cum. His fingers moved quicker and with the way his tongue swirled inside of you, teasing the spot you loved and hated for him to tease,you were finally able to do the thing you wanted. You came, feeling little waves wash over your insides, feeling the little contractions. He pushed back on his chair, watching you catch your breath from the high. The quick orgasm made your head get dizzier than usual, making it harder for you to stand up.
“Turn around.” he quickly commanded “We’re short on time.”
“As you please.” you put all of your strength to do as he said, bending over the table. You heard Taeyong stand up behind you, quickly undoing his zipper. You held onto the table from the other side, spreading your legs a bit wider. Your eyes focused on the door knob, feeling your insides clench at the thought of someone walking in. Taeyong’s fingers ran over your butt cheek, making the shivers run up your body. His hands pushed the jacket higher over your back, freeing more of you to his eyes. Taeyong’s hands ran over your skin, squeezing your butt in his palms multiple times. You heard how he pumped himself, sliding his member against your entrance. You moaned at the feeling of him pushing. You grabbed onto his cock from behind, forcing him to get his body closer to you. You moved your hand up and down multiple times, sliding him against you to cover him in lube. Your eyes rolled when you pushed him inside and that was it for your attention on the door. Taeyong pulled away your hand, sliding in and out of you himself. His hand quickly found your neck, grabbing onto it with force. At first you thought he just tried to choke you, but his hold got stronger and you understood he tried to pull you closer to him. You let go of the table, sliding your hand behind his head to hold onto his neck. Taeyong’s hands roamed over your body, finally finding their place over your breasts. His hand massaged over your nipple, while the other one slid back down, rubbing against your clitoris. His teeth dug into your neck, biting onto one spot, leaving for sure a red mark for everyone to see.
“Wait, wait, wait. Let me kiss you.” you forced him to let go of you to turn around, sitting with your butt on the table once again. He roughly entered you, making your hands and legs wrap around him twice better. Your mouth found his, hungrily sucking in last sells of his sanity into your mouth. Taeyong stuck his tongue out for you to lick it, and you gladly did as he wanted you to while his hips helped him to drill into you.
“I’m cuming.” he sighed breathlessly and you ran your fingers over his neck, kissing it afterwards. It felt as if he filled you to the brim, continuing the pumps for you to cum. The noises of the sticky substance between you filled up the room, covering your tiny moans. His fingers worked quickly over your clitoris forcing you to clench teasingly around him. “We’re spilling over the table, finish quickly, we need to clean up.” he whispered into your ear, leaving a kiss on it. You began breathing heavily focusing your mind on his fingers. You cried out, making a loud noise escape your throat. “Fuck, Y/n, we have to keep it down here. My secretary is behind the door.” his hand ran over your face, pushing back your hair, caressing your cheeks afterwards. “You’re insane.” he whispered into your mouth, running his eyes over your lips, leaving a wet kiss over them.
He slid out of you, making his cum spill over the glass table.
“Do you have tissues here?” you asked when he sat down on the chair.
“Fuck, no, I don’t.” he ran his eyes over the room, confirming it.
“I have in my bag, it’s behind you.” he turned around, giving you the purse. You opened it quickly, fishing out tissues. You threw one to him, getting one for yourself to clean up the table and yourself. Jumping off the table you noticed how he already collected himself and sat there calmly watching you. You leaned in over him, wishing to get the panties from his pocket, but Taeyong pushed your hand away, pulling you into the chair. You fell on top of him and Taeyong helped you to find a more or less comfortable pose, making you lay on your side, resting your head against his shoulder, wrapping your hand over his neck and waist. He took off the jacket from your shoulders, laying it over you to cover your butt and breasts from the world. His hand caressed carefully behind your knee and up to your thigh, while the other cutely pressed onto your cheek from time to time.
“I’m so happy to see you here.” he finally told you after some time.
“It didn’t seem like it at first.” you replied, running your fingers over his mouth.
“I’m sorry, you’re right I’m a poo since I got this job.”
“Poo? You’re becoming soft and cute, you’re making me fall for you even deeper.” you smiled warmly at him, feeling your heart drown in love for Taeyong.
“After two years you’re still falling?” he sounded confused “You’re mine, there’s not a part of you that’s not mine and you know it.” you nodded at him, planting a light kiss over his lips. You rubbed your face against his chest, wishing you were at home, wishing you could just fall asleep like that and not let go of him. “Where are your clothes? What did you wear to come here?”
“This.” you joked, showing with your finger on the jacket.
“I’m sure that’s what I wore to work today.” he chuckled and the sound of him laughing was music to you. You squeezed his neck pulling his face closer to yours, kissing Taeyong to show him all the love that was hiding in your chest for so long.
“Mr. Lee, your meeting with marketing team is in 15 minutes.” you heard a woman’s voice through the speaker. Taeyong moved away, pressing a button to answer.
“Thank you, Jiyong, I’ll come in a second.” his finger let go of the button, turning all of his attention back to you “Baby, I think it’s better you’ll put some clothes on. I’m not sharing your beautiful body with anyone.” he leaned in quickly planting a kiss on your chest, forcing you to stand up afterwards. You received your underwear back, putting it on, you handed Taeyong his jacket, throwing the dress that was laying on the couch over your body. “I’ll try to come home earlier.” his mouth found yours, sticking his tongue in yours.
“I want to find a job.” you said randomly thinking how being the housewife wasn’t the life of your dreams.
“You can work here.” he suggested, walking you closer to the door, kissing you deeply.
“No, I want to be independent.”
“Okay, be.” he laughed again, leaving another deep kiss on your mouth when his secretary knocked on the door, coming in.
“Mr. Lee, oh, I’m sorry, they’re here.” she ran her eyes over your body, making you even more embarrassed.
“A second.” he said getting his attention back to you. “I love you.” he whispered “Thank you… for what you said and did too.” he tried to kiss you once again, but you didn’t let him, planting a kiss over his cheek. You turned around to walk out, seeing that Jiyong stared at you this whole time. Her eyes scanned you once again, stopping on the red mark he left on you. You bowed politely, leaving the office quickly.
“Jiyongah, tell them to come in.” you heard Taeyong’s voice from afar.
“Yong?” you asked, peeking from the bathroom. “Hi.” you smiled seeing him walk into the room.
“Hi.” he nodded , looking even more serious than he usually did now.
“Difficult day?” you walked towards him, tying your hair in a bun.
“No, not really.” he sat down on the bed. You stood in front of him, running your fingers through his hair. “I…” he sighed and you found it cute how he found it hard to speak. “I cheated.” your hands fell from his head.
“No, long time ago, I just didn’t know how to tell.”
“I…I…why?” you felt a lump form in your throat.
“You can leave if you want to.” Taeyong suggested quickly, not answering your question.
“No, tell me why.” you repeated angrily.
“What do you want me to tell you?” he lifted his head and you dug your nails into the skin of your palms to not hit him.
“Why you cheated. I want to know.” you spoke slowly as if you were putting dots after every word.
“I was stressed.”
“Stressed? Are you serious? You went to someone else? Why? Am I not supporting you? Didn’t I ask you everyday how are you doing, how the day went? Don’t I ask questions because I worry about you? Because I know you’re going to the job you never wanted. And you’re telling me you were stressed and didn’t consider me as someone who could help you with it. Nice, that’s nice to know and hear.”
“You asked me afterwards. You were busy with graduation and then I just didn’t want you to bother, I didn’t want you to worry. I thought it’s better if I’ll keep it to myself but I felt guilty… I didn’t know I could even feel that way. I never felt bad like that but the guilt ate me. That’s why I was quiet, that’s why I’m boring, I was just feeling guilty and was trying to build up courage to tell you about it. I didn’t think it’d be that scary. I didn’t know I’d be scared to tell you this.” he focused his gaze on his knees, with his hands on each side of his head. You didn’t know he could feel guilt like that, you didn’t know he can feel this way about cheating.
“Okay, whatever, that’s fine.” you suddenly switched the mood, standing up and walking around the bed.
“What?” he looked up at you surprised.
“I did that too…”
“Did what?” he looked at you confused.
“I cheated once too.”
“Don’t try to bite me back just to bite.”
“I’m not lying. I didn’t tell because I knew you’d throw a scene, try to find out who it was, but now we’re even, you don’t have anything to throw against me.”
“What the fuck are you saying?” he jumped up, walking towards you. “When? With who?” his hands grabbed your forearms, shaking. “Tell me! Now!”
“I will fucking kill him, and you too if you won’t tell me. Who. Did. You. Fuck?”
“You’re ridiculous Taeyong.” you shook his hands off. “You only care who it was. Why? Oh, I know why. It’s obvious, no one’s allowed to touch your fucking property, right? You don’t care why I did it, you don’t care why would I cheat on the man I love. There’s no such thoughts in your head, you only care about who it was because you only care about my body.” you shouted, pushing him on his chest.
“And that’s fucking right. You’re mine, your body is mine. No one is allowed to touch you before or after me. Especially at the time when you’re fucking mine.” he shouted back at you and you chocked. His words cut like a knife. All these years after he still acted like an ignorant prick who didn’t love you as a whole, he only cared for your body. Tears flooded your eyes and you couldn’t see anything.
“No one’s allowed, blah blah blah, Taeyong. Guess what? No one’s allowed but someone still did it. Want to know how, since why is not really bothering you?” you looked at him furiously, breathing heavily. Taeyong probably never saw you being angry like that, shaking his head yes scarily.
“I came to him myself, I said I wanted sex, he agreed happily. We went to his place and he undressed me immediately, I didn’t even look around, he took my clothes off at the door and took me to his bedroom. I came twice only off his tongue. He made me feel so good, almost as good as you did back when you licked me for the first time at the pierce. You know what was the key? He really wanted me, he really liked me and he showed it with his whole presence. Want to know what happened next?” you looked at Taeyong who looked as if he was about to murder someone. He didn’t react, and you found it as a great opportunity to continue. “I sucked his dick. I think I did my best with him, he made me choke and he made me cry, I even sucked on his balls, can you believe it?” you made a low chuckle. “And then he fucked me, fucked me for hours, fucked me for every evening you came home, turned your back to me and fell asleep like I never existed. For all the days you said I wouldn’t understand he drilled into me in such a sweet pace I still think of him sometimes. I still think if I should call him again. You know, when another day when you’re too stressed comes and ….”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” he interrupted you “SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.” his voice was so loud you thought you’ll lose your hearing.
“What? You don’t like to hear how I suck someone else’s dick? Wait, you’re the video type of guy, I think I have the video of it, I asked him to film it for you.” you laughed carelessly, reaching out for your phone.
You stopped halfway though. Stopped, because your cheek burned like crazy. Burned, because Taeyong slapped you. You couldn’t understand it at first but when you did you squatted immediately, holding with your palms onto the burning skin. Tears began streaming again, this time accompanied by loud crying coming from your throat.
“Fucking bitch, I told you to shut your fucking mouth!” he shouted again, hitting his foot against the wooden bed. The loud thud made you go deaf. Your brain guessed he probably could’ve hit you with the same ease.
“Let’s break up, Taeyong. That’s it, we’re over, I don’t want this.” you jumped up looking over the room for your belongings, but the tears and pain told you not to, quickly grabbing your phone and running out of the room.
“Baby, wait.” he called after you, pulling onto your hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Let’s get you ice.” he said carefully as if he never shouted before.
“Taeyong, can’t you see, we’re in a hole?” you cried out.
“You can hit me if you want to. Do you want to hit me? Please don’t go, you’re my everything, I swear, I love you, please don’t. Please hit me too.” He fell onto his knees, hugging your waist tightly. His face hid in your stomach and your heart sunk for him. You pushed him off you, to look him in the eyes. You lifted one of your arms, slapping him on his cheek. Taeyong closed his eyes, expecting more from you.
“Stand up.” you commanded and he did it quickly. Your hands quickly began throwing punches, hitting his chest, you cried even harder, not controlling yourself. Your fingers wrapped around his neck, beginning to choke him more and more, until it felt too difficult for your hands to push, you let go of his neck, hearing him breath heavily. You looked at him afterwards, throwing last punch on his chest.
“Don’t you ever dare to fucking touch me, you sick prick.”
“You’re sleeping with someone again?”
“I do not.”
“I fucking told you I don’t.” he seemed to be pissed already. This was your first conversation in a month, maybe. You two acted like neither of you ever existed. He didn’t look at you, didn’t touch, never spoke to you unless there was no other way. You knew he was mad because someone touched his property, and you were mad because you loved him and he cheated. He slept with someone else and even the thought of having any type of arrangement after what you find out made you sick. You just felt like it wasn’t for only once. You just felt that he did before, or maybe even after. You found yourself going back to college days, when he’d play the weird game he played with you and Yoona. Something, you never understood and never talked about. What was this all for? What type of wicked game was going on in his head at the time? And what could make you sure it was over?
Nothing, frankly speaking. It’s just that you two weren’t together at most times, he’d be at work, you’d be studying, then he’d be at work and you’d just spend all your days at home, doing things, hanging out with Momo, doing rich jobless girls things, then it was both of you at work. You didn’t know if he was into something like that there too? But then again, he seemed to be focused and serious when he went there.
“Why getting worked up from a single question if you’re not?” you chuckled knowing it’ll only piss him off more.
“I just got home and you act like a bitch once again.”
“A bitch?” you asked confused “Just think about how much you hated your mother when she let your father cheat on her. Think how you hated him for cheating. You’re putting us in their place. Youre not doing it any different from your father.”
“What do you even mean I’m sleeping with someone else AGAIN? I never slept with anyone like that..” he asked looking angry, walking closer to you. “Did you go back to the guy you wanted to fuck and want me to do the same?”
“What? He got married if you’re interested, so you can calm yourself down finally.”
“So he’s married? For how long?” he asked focusing his mind on this information.
“Are you fucking serious?” you shouted again being mad with how he subtly tried to find out who it was, making you wonder how did you last for almost three years with him.
“Why the fuck did you ask me this in the first place!?” he sighed annoyed. “Do you want me to cheat on you? I think you need to see a therapist, why are you so fucking focused on something that never existed?”
“Never existed!? Didn’t you tell me you cheated?”
“Didn’t you tell me the same fucking thing!? Why am I not asking you the same fucking question every day ? Why?”
“Cause you don’t care?”
“Baby, Y/n, no, stop, I don’t want this.” he sighed and he seemed genuinely tired. His fingers touched your forearms. “I know I’m the one that made our relationship flow in that direction, I know I’m the one that acted cold towards you, I’m the one that treated you badly and received all the love from you in return. You worked hard to change me and showed me love, you always did, I know you were tired of me being the way I was but now I changed, I’m different, even though you don’t seem to be happy with what I turned into too, I still love you in my own idiotic way. I’m almost the normal boring person you always wanted me to be. Why do you not seem happy? Why the only conversations we’re having sound more like dogs barking at each other?” he met your eyes with his.
“I’m… it’s not like that. I didn’t try to change you, I didn’t want you to be boring. I fell in love with a different you. All I wanted for you to be faithful to me, I never asked for you to become boring. All I asked for is faithfulness and love.” your hands moved, forcing him to let go of you, wrapping them around his waist. “You never speak to me. I wish you told me about your real feelings. This feels like I’m just trapped in some sort of castle with a villain that don’t love me. Even though I know you do, or at least I hope you do love me, I still feel you not being open to me. I’m just tired of always fighting, fighting every day to get any information from you.” you sighed into his chest. “You used to be angry at the whole world and then would be gentle with me, but now it feels the other way round. You’re all nice and sweet to all those people surrounding you and when you come to me, it’s like you’re putting out everything you held back through the day on me. And that’s the best option, because the other one is just you turning your back to me and keeping quiet.” You felt tears pinching your eyes, shutting them tightly to prevent yourself from crying. “I hate the thought of telling you to break up and I hate that there’s so much fucked up shit that happened to us, that we did to each other that even brings up the thought in my head. I always think what would we be like if you never took this job, if we just stayed the way we were.”
“Remember how I told you that I can hurt my girlfriend with my actions but I would never hurt my babydoll? Remember?” he suddenly brought this up, making blood boil inside of you.
“What do you want to say?”
“You chose the girlfriend path.”
“You’re making everything worse again.” you pulled back.
“No, I’m just saying, that if you didn’t tell me you loved me, if I didn’t tell you this back, if we didn’t become a couple we could’ve stayed as fuck buddies for all those years.”
“I would’ve never stayed as your doll for that number of years.”
“You’re still mine, completely mine, and you’re my babydoll, and my love, I don’t tell you often that I love you, I’m sorry, I’m lost.” you looked him in the eyes, brushing hair off his forehead with your fingers. “Will you marry me?” he spoke in a minute, breaking the silence.
“What?” you looked at him confusedly.
“I debated if I should ask, I want you to become my wife.”
“Why…you spoke about it like that?” you sighed disapprovingly. He never was the romantic one but he could’ve at least done something more than this.
“I thought about it for quite a while now. So, do you want to get married?”
“This don’t even feel like the right time for proposal.” you shook your head. Were you meant to push back everything and tell him yes and relax your mind finally? Were you dreaming of the life he was about to give you?
You thought back on your conversations about his family. He was never treated nicely by his mother, his dad never showed love to him. He watched them live together but separately at the same time. He never saw his parents love each other, treat each other nicely, so was he able to give you what he never learned? The question made you scared. It made your insides clench because you truly loved him. Since the day you saw him you loved him and were always there to be for him, you were there to forgive him for whatever he did.
But the switched turned, when he asked you, even so randomly, to get married, you felt like you could not take it. You felt suddenly that nothing you ever did would make him change. Nothing you ever did, would turn him into someone who could never hurt you. The rare days of happiness and lightness were drowned in mud with the ones like this. You wanted it to be the other way round, you wanted everything in flowers and rainbows, you wanted days like this one to be the rare dark blue smudges on the sky. You were drained morally and physically and the job that you got in hopes of distraction only made everything worse.
“You’re hesitating?” Taeyong held your face in his hands, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs. His big brown eyes watched you carefully, making you feel like you could cry. Just a glance at his beautiful eyes made you realise there’s nothing you could ever want in your life except for him. You shook your head no, moving your face closer to him. Taeyong allowed you too, watching your moves carefully. You raised your hand running your thumb over his sharply shaped lips. His hands let go of your face making it more comfortable for you to move your hand. You leaned in and kissed him, moving your lips slowly. Taeyong stood frozen, as if he didn’t think you’d kiss him, as if it felt not obvious to him. Your hands wrapped around his neck, breaking the kiss.
“Why don’t you kiss me back? You don’t love me anymore? You didn’t miss me?” you whispered in his lips, feeling like your heart could jump out of your chest. You practically hung on his shoulders, wishing for him to do anything. Anything that could make you believe once again he wanted this relationship. You were hoping he’d just fuck away your worries like he usually did.
“Can I?” he asked and you felt power over him. His eyes, they never shone like this before, you felt him being scared, you felt him being ready to obey. At this very moment you realised he was yours as much as you were his. At this very moment you realised that if you’d say no, he wouldn’t fight, he’d just leave. Your heart clenched, you didn’t want him to leave, even if he was only about to leave this room.
“Didn’t you say just a second ago I’m completely yours?” you stared at him but he didn’t react, looking at you. You moved your body even closer to his “You know I’m wrapped around your finger, why you’re asking? Of course you can.” you felt his hands on your waist, forcing you to walk over to your bed immediately. He lowered his head to your neck, nibbling on your sensitive skin. Taeyong laid you in the bed carefully, making you surprised. His hands ran over your legs, making your skin burn even through material of your pants.
“I know I fucked up, but I just couldn’t lie to you, that’s why I admitted I cheated. Maybe it could’ve been better if I kept it to myself, but thanks to that I know that you did it too.” you opened your mouth to speak but he stopped you “And I don’t blame you… I know it’s only my behaviour that made you do these things. Even though it is hard for me morally, and no, not because your my property, but because I love you and I don’t know how to show you that I do, or how to act nicely. I have so many thoughts in my head and all of them are about you and our relationship, and then work comes up too sometimes, and I just feel so shitty, I never knew I could feel this way about a relationship with another human being. I never knew that I could feel depressed because I’m turning your life into hell, and because turning your life into hell is making my life hell too.”
“Taeyong, listen.” you sat up, when he went quiet, finding it as a great opportunity to speak. “I didn’t cheat. I said it because I was mad, because you hurt me and because you tore my heart in pieces. I was upset and blubbered it randomly. I’m sorry.”
“No, fuck.” he sighed and his face expression looked like he was in pain.
“You said were even, it made me feel better? I don’t know how to say it. I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you. Y/n, I can’t keep you hostage here anymore.” he fell on his back, rubbing his face with his palms.
“You’re not keeping me hostage. I love you.” you leaned in to him, leaving a kiss on his collarbone. “I’m sorry I lied, I didn’t know the lie was actually making you feel better.” you sighed and crawled over his body, straddling his waist. “But don’t it make you feel better? The fact I’m only yours.” you forced him to move his hands from his face. He looked at you as if he was about to cry. Your heart ached, sometimes when you would watch him sleep, you’d run your eyes around his soft features wondering how someone with such cute looks could have such a messed up life and nature. His eyes blinked slowly, waiting for your next words. “Doesn’t it turn you on? The fact I’m only fucked by you? It used to really do the thing, remember?” your hand ran behind your back, stroking his crotch multiple times, feeling it harden. Your hands ran up your stomach, going back down to the hem of the shirt you wore at home, lifting it up your stomach, giving him the view of your breasts and pulling it over your head, leaving you topless. “How handy, I happened to not have a bra on.” you forced a chuckle, taking Taeyong’s palm in yours, moving it up your stomach, between your breasts and onto your neck, forcing him to lock his fingers around it. “Don’t let go of my neck.” you whispered, feeling his fingers lightly wrap around it.
You moved your body lower, sitting yourself exactly over his cock. Your hands undid pants he wore to work, lowering them as far as you could. Carefully taking off your underwear, you felt his eyes quickly run up and down your bare body. Something, he hasn’t seen in a while now. “Give me your hand.” he wanted to give you the one that held onto your neck “No, the other one.” he expanded the hand that was laying on the bed, for you to grab onto it. “Don’t let go of my neck no matter what.” you whispered and rolled your hips against him. Your fingers intertwined with his, leaning in closer to him, feeling how his fingers wrapped tighter around your neck. You began moving slowly against him, hating how the material of his underwear was ruining everything. You moved back to free his cock and pressed against him once again, rolling your hips. “Taeyong.” you moaned, when you felt the tip of his cock slide against your clitoris. In no time your bodies began making a sound with all the lube that formed. His hand began chocking you, making your eyes roll, when your hips moved quicker. You wanted to know if you could make him cum like that, moving in a even more quicker pace, moaning uncontrollably and pressing your body harder against his cock. He finally began making noises, when he realised that he was pressing onto your neck too harshly. The moans that left his throat let you know he was enjoying this as much you were. You wondered if he felt how you clenched, pressing harder against his length.
“I could cum from this.” he moaned and let go of your neck, catching your body that was about to fall against him with his hand. “But I’d much rather cum inside of you.” his fingers flipped you over, hovering over you with his body. “Sure you don’t mind it too.” he chuckled and made you shiver. Words that left his mouth sometimes made you feel as if you were back in college, sleeping with him while Momo was away at your tiny bed in the dorms. He undid the shirt, throwing it behind him. Lowering his body Taeyong left a kiss on your collarbone, moving his lips down your stomach. You caught him with your hand, pulling back up.
“Don’t kiss me, don’t be soft. I’m already soaking wet, just fuck into me harshly. Fuck me so that I couldn’t walk properly tomorrow, fuck me for everyday of the past month you didn’t. Don’t even warn me, just do it. With no feelings attached. Fulfil your needs, don’t think of me..” you found his cock with your hands, pumping it slowly.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” he whispered, leaning in to kiss you.
“But I want you rough. For me, please.” ‘I need you to fuck these dumb thoughts out of my head’ you told yourself, sucking onto his tongue, when he slipped it into your mouth.
You felt him considering your proposal while he was kissing you, and felt his hands on your thighs in a minute, flipping you over onto your stomach. Taeyong’s hands ran over your ass, angling you better for him to enter. His fingers massaged your butt cheek, and then the next second you felt him bump his hips against yours. You cried and moaned at the stretch.
“Fuck.” you heard him curse behind you, bumping his hips against you once again. “I missed the feeling of you being right around me. It’s such a sweet feeling, fuck.” he moved his hand over to your other cheek, squeezing the skin so you began seeing stars in your eyes, or maybe you began seeing stars because of his cock inside of you. You weren’t sure, but either way you knew you were close.
Taeyong always knew when you were at the edge, rubbing your clit right at the time you needed it the most.
“Taeyong?” you called but you guessed he took it as a moan. “Taeyong?” you asked again more seriously.
“Yes?” he asked, slowing down for a second, but finding it a better option to lift your body against his.
“I’ll marry you.”
“Yes, I’ll marry you, Taeyong.” you moaned, feeling his warmth spread over your insides for the first time that night.
You held onto his hand, playing with his fingers lightly, resting your cheek against his shoulder. You were standing in the middle of a mall, waiting for him to finish his conversation on the phone.
“Why?” you felt him stiffen under you as the question left his mouth, making you wonder who he talked to. “I can’t come.” he seemed uninterested and angry at the same time. “No, mom, it’s because I’m with Y/n at this shopping centre, not because I avoid you. You never wanted me to come before, what is the deal?” you shuffled next to him, and Taeyong turned his head to look at you. His features visibly softened, moving his hand to lay over your shoulders, while your arms hugged his waist. “What is it with this unusual interest in my life? What you need?” he sighed and you lightly punched his chest.
“It’s your mom, be nice.” you furrowed your eyebrows watching him roll his eyes in response. You almost made him drop his phone with the power you took it from his hand. “Hi, mrs. Lee” you spoke politely. “It’s me, Y/n.” Taeyong to your surprise didn’t try to take the phone back, he just shook his head disapprovingly, running his eyes over the shop signs.
“Hi darling, of course it’s you.” she chuckled and seemed in a good mood. It’s obviously not the first time you spoke with her, but it definitely seemed like the first time she was cheerful during a conversation with you, or more likely for the first time in the past years you knew her. You didn’t do anything for her to hate you and you assumed she was meant to be more than happy that her son have someone who cares for him, but you just couldn’t unsee her fakeness towards you and that’s what really pissed you off. Even now, over the phone, the cheerfulness felt fake and unnecessary. You knew she wasn’t a great mother, you knew she did things she shouldn’t have and you knew she never really cared for anything besides money, but still. It felt wrong listening to Taeyong speak to her like that, and more than feeling wrong you knew it was only going to make him mad.
And you didn’t want him to be mad, not now, when he put all of him into behaving nicely. When he fought with himself at every bitter comment he had on his mind, when he wouldn’t leave to work without kissing your lips and wouldn’t run back home later than a minute after his working hours were over. You never knew you’d even get to taste food Taeyong cooked for you, you never really thought about the fact he can cook in the first place.
None of this really mattered to you, besides the fact that he finally spoke about what he felt or at least about things that were happening around him. At first he seemed shy and unsure if he should, but as the time went by, you’d get to hear things like what he ate for lunch or who got married at the office. You never knew he could be interested in something like that, you never even guessed he could be chatting with people at work, let alone gossiping. You felt like he finally let go, or at least tried really hard to do it. To let go of all the things that clustered in his brain and made him grumpy and annoyed at the whole world. You felt like it was working out, you felt the happiest and it was the best six months out of your entire relationship. You thought more and more to yourself that you were just in a bad phase and that was the only reason you doubted his proposal. He made you think about it everyday unknowingly. You finally felt like you were ready to spend your entire life with him, except for the fact he never brought it up.
For the slightest you believed you misheard him and he never asked you to get married, he never even gave you hints, that maybe he changed his mind or the question he asked was serious. He never brought it up, until this Monday, when before leaving for work he suddenly walked back to kitchen, standing right behind you when you were frying your egg. His hands laid on your waist, sliding to hug you and pull your body against his back.
“Taeyong, what?” you chuckled, holding onto his neck with your fingers, trying to see his face “I thought you were late.”
“I thought maybe you changed your mind and want to actually marry me?” it felt like someone dropped a bucket of ice-cold water over your head. “I know you said yes, but you said it when I was fucking you into oblivion, I’m not sure I can take that as a proper answer.” he smirked, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
“I do want to marry you.” you sighed and ran your fingers through his hair.
“I’m dumb in things like that and to not pick something wrong, I thought maybe we could go and get you the ring together?” you nodded at his suggestion, feeling butterflies arise in your stomach. “Great, I think we can go Saturday morning.” he suggested, leaving a kiss on your shoulder blade and going this time for sure.
And now, standing in the middle of a shopping mall that Taeyong picked, you were excited, but felt sick in your stomach at the same time. You were here to pick a ring, engagement ring for your own self. Even though you were upset he didn’t surprise you, didn’t make the memories special, you were just happy that he cared enough. At the end of the day, things were never going the normal way when it came to Taeyong, and well, you too.
“I’m sorry for Taeyong’s behaviour, you can tell me what you need. I’ll make sure he’ll do it.”
“I need him to come over. The quicker the better. I need his sign on papers, nothing too serious.” electric wave ran through your body. Why did it sound suspicious.
“Can you be more specific?” you tried to be cheerful.
“His father’s will, he needs to sign the papers of him forfeiting the inheritance.”
“I never heard of it.” you looked at Taeyong that turned around to see your face.
“I’m not surprised. You’re not family, why would you hear anything about it?” you felt her venom spill even through the phone, making the sickness in your stomach rise up to your throat.
“Im not sure he’ll be able to come.” you swallowed before speaking “We’re currently picking an engagement ring for me. I’ll make sure he calls you when he’s free. Bye.” you hang up before she could talk back to you.
“Oh, I see my kind and cheerful girlfriend lost her temper after speaking to my mother for 2 minutes.” he chuckled and took his phone out of your hand. “Let’s go, the shop that I wanted to go to is there.” he pointed with his hand behind you, leaving a kiss on your forehead.
Taeyong’s palm grabbed yours, intertwining your fingers and walking you towards a jewellery shop that you hoped you’d walk past, but he moved his feet right in direction of the Tiffany&Co entrance.
“Taeyong? That’s expensive.” you whispered to him, when the woman behind the counter cheerfully greeted you two, ready to help you with anything. “Anything particular you’re looking for?”
“Yes, actually, we need an engagement ring.”
“We have them over here.” the girl showed with her hand to the other side of the shop, inviting you two to walk with her. Taeyong’s hand landed on your lower back, pushing you to walk, while you were blinded by all those diamonds glistening in the light of the display case.
The next hour went in haze, putting on every ring there was and looking at it on your finger felt surreal. It felt even more surreal when you accidentally saw the price tag of one of the rings, making the 5 digit price burn into your brain.
“Which one do you like more?” Taeyong seemed to have so much fun picking the ring, making you wonder why did he think he wouldn’t be able to do it himself.
“Taeyong…” You whispered and looked at the assistant. She gave you a light nod.
“I’ll give you a minute to decide.”
“Taeyong, this is all too expensive.” you whispered and looked him in the eyes.
“It’s fine. I want you to have the ring you like. Do you not like anything?” you sighed and looked back at the display. Of course you did like all of those rings, probably you even had your favourite, but it didn’t sit right with you. Living with him you obviously had money, but you never spent it excessively, neither did he. “If the problem is this store, let’s go to another one. Don’t think about those numbers, just show me the ring you like, okay?” his hand landed on your neck and he pulled you closer, pecking your temple.
“Which one did you like the most?” you asked him.
“This one.” he pointed at the golden ring with his finger. You smiled at his choice.
“Yeah, me too. But maybe this one’s better?” you pointed at the ring with a square diamond. “It’s cheaper too.” you sighed, looking back up at Taeyong. His eyes shifted to the assistant.
“Excuse me, we’ll take this one.” he pointed and she happily ran over to you.
“Perfect choice! 18k gold, the rope design is unique and the 1.75 carat diamond is just the perfect addition. Let’s ring you up.”
Taeyong put the bag with the ring into the front pocket of his hoody as if it was nothing. You walked to his car, not feeling like nausea is planning to leave you.
You closed your eyes, hoping that in 10 minute drive to your home you’d at least not throw up. You opened your eyes when you felt with your insides that he turned to the wrong side. You watched him drive away from where you were supposed to go for 5 minutes, making sure he wasn’t just taking the other road.
“Where are we going?”
“We need to pick up one thing and then we’ll go home.”
“Can you drive me home and then go? I’m not feeling well.”
“No, I promise it’s quick.”
“Taeyong, I can’t. Can you stop here, I’ll walk or call an Uber.”
“Why can’t you just do for once what I want you to?” he shouted, quickly realising what he did. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Just please, I need you to come with me, okay?” you looked at him, turning away the next second and closing your eyes in hopes of the ride to be quick.
It was only when Taeyong’s hand rubbed your shoulder, you realised you fell asleep, and realised where you were.
“Why we came here?” you asked confused.
“Let’s go.” he smiled and you weren’t sure you ever saw him smile like that.
I don't know if ya'll are upset with the way this jumped to the future, but I was kinda stuck and thought this might lead me to an ending. This fic been in my notes for a year now and I've been writing really slowly recently, but I'm ending it soon so yeah... hope you still like it ^^