really glad that while im taking 5 classes online that i wasnt prepared to do online, my dad views it as me “sitting there watching tv while he busts his ass to pay for everything”.
like its my fault that he started his own business and got more work than he can handle.
i hate that he constantly makes me feel like im never enough.
I need a 2WEI cover of Loren Allred’s “Never enough” because this would look amazing put together with Yennefer scenes. I need it now.
I‘m never enough.
I just want to be loved.
A letter you’ll never read…
You’ll never get the chance to read this, but thank you. Thankyou for showing me a glimpse of real love. Thank You showing me what it feels like to adore someone so much it quite literally swallows you whole, wanting someone and wanting to give every inch of you to them, until you are absolutely nothing.
You weren’t the first boy to touch me, but you were the first boy to touch me with love, the first boy to touch me with kind hands and a soft touch. Thankyou for helping me understand that not everyone has harsh and hard intentions with me.
But now that you are gone, I am forever longing to be lost in your green eyes, green doesn’t give them justice, they’re forest green, grass green, emerald, or whatever one-word descriptors you want to use but they’re more than that, they’re fresh green on a newly sprouted tree in spring, whilst also being the dark swirled mixture of the murky sea in wintertime. I long for them, I ache for them, to look at me, one last time, look at me like they’re never going to look away, but they did and they have.
You were the warm soothe of a honey drop lolly falling down my hoarse and strained throat. You were the smile on my face when I realise i still have half an hour more until i have to get up for work. The goose bumps taking control of my skin when I jump out of bed at 1 am to get a drink. I find parts of you in everything I do. The songs i hear on the radio, the soft smell of melted butter. The green tinge of my school books reminding me of those goddamn eyes. Parts of you follow me everywhere forcing you to become my every thought.
Crying about you feels wrong, how can someone who brought me so much joy and happiness be the root to my every tear, my every raspy cry for air, my every late night thought. You were my happiness and I refuse to have you become you as my sadness.
I think falling for you was the easy part; your charms, your goofy jokes, your cheesy words, your long cuddles and your beauty. How could I not fall for that? It’s me admitting that I have fallen in love with a boy I never got to date, a boy I never got to show to my family. Realising i loved you as soon as i couldn’t love you. That was the hard part.
I loved you Caleb, I love you. Fuck. And i really mean it. I love you, and now I dont have the chance to show you my love, because you don’t want it. And i understand that now, you are one of the most amazing people i have had the chance to meet and have in my life, our time was short, but you have taught me so many things. Please don’t forget me. Goodbye.
With all of this free time I thought people would want to talk/text me. But I still get ignored/left on read. Why did I think it would be different?
that’s what momma always told me:
“happiness isnt free. love isnt too. and you should really improve yourself, so that i can love you”
how could you?
Is it just me or is it never enough. Al my (big) dreams seem so unreachable and far away. Is it weird that its never good enough or are those feelings just me being so hard for my self. We are al young adults and compare our self to others. ‘’I wish I had a life like them.’’
Dreams about that beautiful house, that nice car, having a job that you enjoy doing and making (rather a lot that little) money, study abroad, live abroad, playing a different sport, meeting new friends and all kind of things like that.
When is it to late to chase these dreams?! I wish I had the courage to make life changing decisions.
Number three : boys
Maybe one day it will 🤣
Number one :
Number one : kind
As we remind are self day by day that we are not perfect but kinds is perfect
So choose to be kind xox
A sad thing guys. I’m getting divorced…
I guess the problem is that I’m not her…
I’m not her - Julia Brennan
My soul hurts. It sucks to be alive sometimes. I wish I didn’t have anxiety. This shit is fucking hell.
never thin enough!
What more can I do to please you?