a bit of vent art. i was feeling pretty bad and dysphoric today, and started having bad thoughts, so i drew this to vent and to feel better. and i do feel a lot better now. its what i want to look like once i can fully express myself, colored with my identifying flags. the shirt is the nonbinary flag, the hair is the genderfluid flag, the skin is the pansexual flag, and the eyebrow is the trans flag. the background is just rainbow. in case you cant read it, the text says, im me and thats all that matters. its something i keep in mind all the time, because no matter what, im me and i know who i am, and thats what matters. i guess this is a kinda late pride post, but pride is all year around, so happy pride. also this isnt the best bc i lost my stylus so i did this with my finger, but i think it still turned out pretty good and i got out my feelings. so im happy with it. i hope you guys are doing well right now, and if you are trans and/or queer and closeted or something similar like me, you’re perfectly valid and know that you can get through this. we both can, we can get through this and we’re valid and ome day we’ll be able to express ourselves freely and be comfortable with who we are. i love you guys.

edit: here it is without the words

I’m glad that my mom is trying to be more supportive but her justification for misgendering me is that

“We’re still hoping you’ll change your mind”

And apparently the advice that her counselor gave her is to wait for me to say what I want, because quote:

“You never asked us to refer to you with different pronouns”

LIKE??? LADY I AIN’T CHANGING MY MIND DO YOU SEE HOW MISERABLE BEING MISGENDERED MAKES ME???

Not to mention that I DID ASK YOU TO DO DIFFERENT PRONOUNS WHEN I FRIGGIN CAME OUT TO YOUUUUUU

Not like I ever felt like I should talk about this stuff with her anyways, seeing as her usual reaction is to laugh at me

“It’s nervous laughter”

IT’S STILL LAUGHTERRRRRR

so we’ve considered trans clancy. love him. adore him. but has anyone considered

nonbinary clancy

because I sure would love to consider nonbinary clancy because now that I think of it – do we ever once hear Clancy being referred to with a pronoun? Clancy could be they/them for all we know unless I’m just forgetting a time when Clancy had a pronoun attached to them. I headcanon Clancy as he/they myself.

I’ve found that it’s harder to hint to or “come out” with my suspiciouns of being autistic to my friends than it was telling them I was gay/trans/etc.

Maybe it’s because I was so young when I started to learn more about my gender and sexuality. Or maybe that there were already 2 people in my friend group that had come out as one or both (or at least thought they were of a certain identity at the time)

I want to talk about it and I know it wouldn’t come as a surprise to them. The more I’ve learnt about the traits that come with adhd and autism the more I’ve shown them because I’ve learned why I feel those things. I have a reason so I stim and get hyper more than I used to before.

My problem is, I only want to bring it up to 1-2 specific people. Mainly because I think one of them already can tell as much as I can and the other is already very understanding and makes a lot of adjustments to certain issues of mine (one time he brought his headphones to a pep rally because I had forgotten my earbuds just in case I needed them, he also make sure to walk to my right since I associate my friends with directions)

It’s just hard to bring up. I’ve brought up my suspicions to other things I’ve thought I’ve had (I’m a bit of a hypochondriac but this is a lot different) and haven’t received the best responses. No flat out “you’re taking it” but… just not great responses.

I’ve also had another friend act like she knows more about autism than doctors do and claim that people in our school aren’t actually autistic because they don’t act the same as her autistic cousins do. It was years ago but I’m still fearful of what she might say. She’s not a bad person, she just has a hard time admitting she’s wrong.

It’s hard. I want it off my chest.

No matter how fucking hard everything about it is, from the people to the discourse to the dysphoria, I love being trans. I love being nonbinary. I fucking love being who I am on the best days. And no one can ake that away from me, even on the worst.

I am not upon this earth for aesthetics.

I do not exist to be consumed by the eyes of strangers.

My body is more than looks. My body is not my worth.

I am fat. I take up space. I have rolls. I like to eat.

I am also a writer, a singer, a great listener, a great hugger.

I laugh loudly and unapologetically.

I stand up for things I believe in.

My body is my home. The only one I get.

I have let the gaze, the mocking, the judging others do dictate my emotions and feelings about my body.

For years.

I don’t not breathe for you. I don’t exist to be claimed.

Children and parents with sharp words who have no idea what it takes to have humanity leave scars on the soul.

Gold runs through these scars. Pulls the broken soul together.

You will not define me.

I rebel, I sing, I scream, I stand.

I am earth. I am nature.

My body is my garden. You may not enjoy my fruits.

But I do NOT grow for YOU.

And I never fucking will.

When i say I like a gal in a uniform I am referring to firefighters, mailpersons, EMTs, doctors, and sanitation workers. You know what’s cute? A boiler suit. Pressed shorts and carrier bag. Scrubs. Bright yellow suits and heat proof gloves.

What isn’t cute? Being a racist bootlicker.

Nahuel on a log, where will he run off to?

On the mood to upload old pics tonight, so

How do I tell my parents “Here’s some information about me that you’ll knowingly disregard and or make fun of me for. Just wanted you to know so that way you have a reason to think Im the worst now.” Or “here’s some information about me so instead of unknowingly misgendering me, you can knowingly mosgender me and make fun of me for it.”

unhinged

hello all! i’m releasing a poetry chapbook/zine called unhinged and you can find a copy here!! it’s in the process of editing but i really want to release the first edition (aka the Messy Just Me) to the world and get it over and done with hahaha

the poems were made to look back on my life as a teenager but also to hope and to yearn for the future.

if you have feedback and critique, please send them my way.

thank you for your time!!!

accepting donations through a ph online banking app called paymaya, dm for deets!!

✨Men are not allowed to comment ✨

Bad day ✌

I haven’t been able to do much self care or dress up for myself so yesterday my day off I did. And it felt good 🖤✨

Cw: gender stuff, benign sex stuff, it’s just a personal ramble that would usually go in my journal but I could use insight/advice if anyone has some

Trying to figure out gender feels, trying to understand why presenting masc scares me so much, why I feel the need to present femininely to a partner who not only knows and accepts that I’m nonbinary but actively supports and encourages it

Trying to understand why wearing a strap-on and topping him in sex feels so good and validating and comfortable until it trips me right into an anxiety attack, why the prospect of wearing a packer is both enticing and terrifying

I thought for a while that it’s just that I’m not nonbinary, or I’m not masc, but that’s not right. I know where I want to be. I know what presentation and relation to myself would be correct, would align with what I am, but the expanse between here and there is so great it’s… I misjudged. I thought when I started, when I came out, that the trouble would be convincing people to see who I am. It turns out the trouble is finding comfort with it. Finding confidence again. Relating to my clothes and my body and accepting acceptance that I don’t have to fight for.

Why am I so frightened of becoming who I am?

Food themed Aro flag

(Couldn’t think of another theme name, this was just aesthetically pleasing to me)

DT Week Day 7: Nonbinary / Glamorous

It’s finally the last day, phew! This week was challenging but fun. I might take a little rest from drawing just to give my hand a break lol

🦎💚🦎

Installing evil software and downloading gay viruses 😈

😈 Horny 😈

Show me your favorite villager from Animal Crossing: New horizons. 👉👈🥺