:v

Not yet

Drowning

Screaming and pleading he ran from them

Wondering where this hell started and when it'll end - he had no where to go and as the hours lingered on his hands and feet got cold

He knew winter was approaching and soon the sky would fall , letting down soft white kiss that leave him shivering out .

He stumbld and and limped with nothing more then his lies and shattered wrist. He knew this time she come for him and he couldn't outrun what he done

As journey draged on he felt most of his body go numb fuhrer up this one way road is where she stood - white out was approaching as he was crying begging for a warmnth imbrace - all he could see was her face and her cold blue eyes in-between the snow flakes , he knew this time she wouldn't forgive him , he knew this was her relam-

As winter blew in harder and more fearce he hears her whisper in the wind , always and forever is where this began, you decided to melt my Castle too many times failing to understand I am within you - walls the halls - sheets on you're be - I linger and dance circles in you're head , you brought this place back out of me- now it's time for you taste the coldest side of me. As he approached upon her snow flakes trembling in the air he looked up and there he saw what he never thought could appear - his own world within her eyes flashimg with each snow falke . She looked down onto him and as Ivey tears flowed down her face he felt heat of burn from snow she was pressing upon his chest sinking through his skin into his heart.

For all the times you're tore me about you will feel the deepest part of you freeze until you cant breathe, then only will I allow you to remain alive maybe you'll learn this next time 🧊.

i bought a lwj print and another lwj charm you could say i’m feeling normal right now

Militarism Research — 01a

Militarism [01a]: Research primarily in the context of emerging institutional dicta of modern fascism and the increasingly pro-industrial, technocratic nation-state.

Bold defense of the "laws of war" summarily recontextualizes the methods and manners applied by other nation-states in years past. Contemporary exposure [to these tactics or strategies] tends to shock people.

Privileging the military means undercutting the health of the commoner. [Reallocating resources in broad-spectrum initiatives intuits] killing those who are incurable, too old, insane, or useless in combat would free up hospital beds for those capable of recovering for the war effort.

➔ "Marching diverts men's thoughts. Marching kills thought. Marching makes an end of individuality. Marching is the indispensable magic stroke performed in order to accustom the people to a mechanic, quasi-ritualistic activity until it becomes second nature" (Rauschning, in Gross, 25).

But a danger lingers in the halls of the nation-state that delegates to industry; privatization of industry begets the further compartmentalizing of corporate risk at the behest of firm interest.

Militarism enriches [these individual and industry components].

How does the nation-state ensure industry [and its collaborators] care[s] about its endeavors? How does the nation-state work through, but not entirely in the shadows of, private empires, private armies, and private intelligence services? [How does the government] prevent infighting among industry leaders [and still serve the greater needs of the nation-state]?

[Nevertheless, always consider that] industry loses control of policy direction in exchange for greater access to heightened profits.

➔ "A uniform is neither protection nor insurance from human frailty" (Donovan, XX).

[prompt] An authority trapped in an operation whose failures are always greater than its successes.

The use or application of "force, fraud, or violence" is neither new or special to organized government -- few [institutions] of which so eagerly [or deliberately] discern themselves as totalitarian operations (Gross, 31).

On the mythmaking of military leadership: The most effective means of profiting from the fears of the public is to invent an enemy so multidimensional and loathsome as to [render it capable of manifesting] either within or outside of [the nation-state's] established borders. Invented enemies always provide the perfect justification for conflict (Gross, 91). The virtues of the nation-state are culturally codified when there is widespread acknowledgment and conformity with the ritualistic abrogating of a stated opponent's ideology.

The subdividing of professional and technical skill, and [the] subsequent specialization of work, increasingly isolates individuals from one another and makes the individual more susceptible to regimentation (Gross, 104). [This may yet explain why the presumed dangers of the technocratic state often mirror those of the militaristic empire-in-waiting.]

➔ "I sometimes wonder what use there is to trying to protect the west against fancied external threats when the signs of disintegration within are so striking" (Kennan, in Gross, 135).

How does militarism contribute to or resolve social fragmentation? Does it provide a challenge, flexibility, food and shelter [to a specific strata of the public], or does it capitalize on the listless ambition of the self-employed [that is, voluntary and voluntarily reckless individuals] who would otherwise terrorize their own homes?

Literature Cited

Donovan, J.A. 1970. Militarism, U.S.A. Charles Scribner's Sons. New York City, New York. 266 pp.

Gross, B.M. 1980. Friendly Fascism: The New Face of Power in America. South End Press. 410 pp.

(from the blue notebook)

y’know, one thing i’m noticing more and more as my dead name actually dies is how different looking at things from when i was younger has become, just because they have my dead name on them

I HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE TODAY I GOTTA GET NEW NOTEBOOKS

i think being lucifer's vessel for a couple of seasons could fix me. not because i'm not an awful bastard on my own right but you know, he's cold i'm running a fever a few times a month, problem solved, no?

🍂Autumn just gives me the best feeling, the feeling of coming home and being loved🍂

🩹💉🖤 Mikan 🖤💊🔪

Hence reason why stepped back ,

Reason why trun head when phone is picked up

Reason why went first to last on news feed or notefactions

Reason prefer to sleep then walk around dead

Reason why covered body parts remain covered

Watched every move untilled destroyed every moon that surfaced,

Watched hours tick by waiting for old you

But never resurfaced ,

Sknew then lost you to fanstisty that was no longer me

Heard you and seen you -

But yet still remained next to you -

While they got you errect

I almost battled myself to meet there standards

But then again I refused to face that he'll again

Hence reason why my body shut down

As you laid watching me crumble

But this time it'll all fall different because you're sent I've been on for far too long- reason why I'm not stupid but also won't play you're games

I won't be one you make out be bad guy as youve done to others - you meet your match but in different ways. Time chnage the game

can somebody PLEASE tell fountain pen people that buying things isnt a hobby

Day 20 of @deathnotetober : Pen

"The ink flows down into a dark puddle

Just move your hand, write the way into his heart"

In retrospective, it should’ve been obvious that Travis wasn’t going to take the same seat as before because he was the only one who took all of his stuff when he left the table.

oh: i’m gonna write my shitty nano on shitty looseleaf paper, because what better way to remind myself that i am a Trash Gremlin channeling Trash Gremlin MC vibes this november than to work on Trash???

It's dark, blood runs. Naivety rescues crying. Perpetuate your love in me, tear my heart. That it lasts, that it hurts, that it breaks me down. The faded color in the design of your eyes makes me unreasonable. Reminds me that to live is to see you more than me. The blood has reached my toes, all the cuts are even more open. The door opens and light enters, showing my spotted steps. From the window I can see the column they erected before the sea, with lace and green and coral tents. I see all the doors and windows, I see all the people, the water, the nets. I see you in every face, I feel you in every taste. The broken blue crystal tells me your name. And I still bleed in this dark room, every time it tears me up inside.

Does anyone else collect beautiful journals only to decide they’re too nice to write in?

Little bit of a witchy spread this week and a witchy book (reading “The Year of the Witching”) because Halloween is almost here! Also, homemade copycat Crumbl snickerdoodle cookies (recipe not mine) and some hot apple cider and a pumpkin spice scented candle to really get into fall. 🍂🍁

Now time to get a lot of homework done. (And yes, I did get glasses, hence them in this pic.)