i’m going to try and eat around 900-1000 today just to slowly try to get myself back down to 500, don’t want to just go from eating 2,000+ cal one day then suddenly switch to eating nothing the next
bro what the fuck i just binged on margarita sherbet and a symphony chocolate bar im actually gonna kill myself like this is literally my 13th reason
i think i’m developing a fear of throwing up.. and it makes me want to not eat bc i’ve been nauseous￼ and it’s starting to make me not want to eat anything but if i don’t eat anything at all = nauseous but if i do, also nauseous. can my body give me a break 🥲
who remembers the red bracelet project and why was it kinda iconic
4 July 2021 6:34pm
Ur just gonna have to take my word that i ran 5ks today bc i had a 10 min tumblr break inbetween and the treadmill erased my progress. Anyway i binged today, love that for me
2 white bread rolls
3 serves banana chips
Whatever dinner is, we're eating at the table
Ive been daydreaming about living out of home a lot. I aak my roomates to put a lock on the fridge bc "im recovering from a binge eating disorder😢" and they say yes. I fast for 2-3 days at a time, maybe 6 or 7 when im super fit, work out in my room every day, coffee and tea and supplements all day, go to the gym after work. Hit the bar on Friday looking like a fucking waif. I dance at the club and meet some adorable girl at the bar and we watch the drag show while making out
I got so carried away with that forgive my gay ass
Tuesday 3rd August
Second day back on track and it's amazing how much better I feel, like my entire body os sore from working out and yet mentally my mind is clear, I know this feeling won't last forever it's a temporary high but man it feels good.
bro i’m in class and my entire class is eating i’m so damn hungry but i like the feeling of feeling empty
OH FUCK A SPELL TO LOSE 10 POUNDS
like to charge and reblog to cast!!! (nothing bad will happen if you dont though ;))
hi yall ive relapsed n im gonna b using tumblr again lol, leave a note on this n ill follow u if this flops someone hacked me
WHOA WAIT does anyone from OG edblr remember when anas literally called people with bulimia wannarexics?? shit was brutal
Comment and I’ll make a group chat or DM one on one
I think it was high school… so many girls in my school were having Ed and there was so much talking about food, weight lose and exercise that it kind of got to me. I wasn’t “fat” for the first time I had healthy weight. But I wasn’t “the skinniest” which I was used to.
It started with exercises, a lot of them, then I was kind of orthorexic and bulimic (I was also struggling with acne so I was very conscious about that and it also had a HUGE impact on my self esteem and my relationship with food. Because after I ate something “bad” that could have bad impact on my skin I was using laxatives.)
Yesterday i stayed around 246 calories!
Not bad but could've been better :]
I literally cant stop binging what the fuck is wrong with me i used to go days without eating and now i can't even make it through one day i hate this
i have decided for multiple reasons to run every day after dinner for 30 mins, this plus my normal workout will hopefully help me loose more weight, and so i did it today and i feel like puking omh
It's been a while since I've been on here and I "recovered" but it's back again so back to blogging :/
𝘈𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘴𝘵, 𝘛𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘥𝘢𝘺 03
𝘛𝘢𝘳𝘰 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘢 - 278 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴
𝘔𝘤𝘋𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘥𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘤𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 - 580
𝘛𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 858
Day 4 ~
my greatest fear about weight loss is gaining it all back at ending up at around 150 pounds again and feeling like a pig who can’t control her eating. i worked hard to get to where i am im terrified of slipping up and gaining it all back
I’ve been thinking about this particular part of the last thing I reblogged for hours now…
Because this was what happened today. It wasn’t a binge and I know it. However, it was out of my norm with this disease and it was scary. My constant thought was “this isn’t what my body needs” as I shoved gluten free, low calorie mini cookies in my mouth — later followed by real food. I haven’t had vitamins since months, or real nutrition either. And I’ve been lacking in keeping up with water and electrolytes and living off of coffee and Monster. It’s no wonder I did what I did earlier. But I don’t want to do it again.
Tomorrow’s the big day for me to finally check out my apartment complex’s gym for the first time. I am excited end nervous but hopefully it’ll make me feel less shitty than I do currently.