Je repenses en me marrant un peu au fait que quand j’étais sur OKCupid pour rencontrer des gars, j’avais eut le malheur de mettre dans une catégorie : “Je peux te battre à…” le jeu vidéo Super Smash Bros Melee (en vrai je suis pas ouf forte, mais bon chut, j’ai les meilleures mains donc ça compense). Ben comme l’égo des mecs cis c’est plus fragile que du verre qui rencontre le sol, j’ai toujours eut des messages pour venir me parler comme :
“AH OUI HEIN TU PENSES ME BATTRE SUR SMASH BROS HEIN ??”
“Ahhh, tu penses vraiment me battre sur Smash Bros ? ;) On peut vérifier ça…”
C’est dingue quand même comment on peut zapper toute une présentation parce que son égo se dit “je ne supporte pas que femme soit meilleure que moi à un jeu de combat”.
Et en même temps ça me fait beaucoup rire.
Nobody’s perfect on tin-
Mr. Sulu, set filters to “obliterate”….
You are SO NOT a teacher getting a doctorate.
“I am in a BDSM community. I have a slave.”
It’s too good to be true caw caw
Must be nice
There’s a match question on OkCupid that goes something like:
If someone said “I love you” to you on a first date, would you find that sweet or scary?
A friend of mine – let’s call her F – told me about an actual real-life Tinder date she was on, at the end of which, the guy said that to her, essentially. “Essentially” because what he actually said was My heart wants you because you’re my missing piece, which somehow simultaneously sounds more sweet and creepier than just straight up I love you.
But for the sake of this argument, let’s approximate whatever it was that he said up to (or down to) I love you.
The OkCupid question, whether or not hearing the words “I love you” on a first date is sweet or scary is one of those questions that actually has a right answer.
“I thought it was sweet,” my friend F said. And she was right. Feelings are a bit like that Nietzsche quote, they exist outside the dichotomy of right and wrong. And if they must, then they’re always right. F felt how she felt – I can’t take that from her. But with regards to the match question, her answer – it’s sweet – was flat out wrong.
A reasonable person might ask the question: on what metric am I measuring the rightness of her answer?
The metric of good judgement. Call it an educated-guesso-meter if you will.
To make an educated guess, you need knowledge and experience. Data gets funnelled into an experience, and you gain knowledge. You take two buckets to river to get water for three of your horses, and the horses finish all the water. 2 buckets, three horses. That’s data. The water not being enough, that’s experience. So the next time when someone comes over with five horses, you might make an educated guess and say – maybe take nine buckets.
When a 5 year old kid says they want to be a lawyer, and then they grow up into a 25 year old adult who’s a lawyer, it’s not because they “always knew they wanted to be a lawyer”. It’s highly unlikely that a 5 year old kid would be able to comprehend what the job requirements of a lawyer are. What is required of them. And whether or not it’s something they would enjoy, given that at that age, they don’t even know themselves.
My point is, on a first date – especially a tinder first date where you’re actual strangers (as opposed to friends of friends or work colleagues) – you have as much of a likelihood of knowing about your date (and whether or not you’d be able to love them) as that kid has of actually enjoying law.
And like the kid, maybe you’ll luck out. Maybe you and your date will end up making a great couple. Totally in love. But saying it out on that first date, when you don’t have enough date – it’s reckless.
And that’s why the right answer to that question is, and will always be, scary.
Literally a screenshot of a model from a shopping site. I’m dead.
When the OK Cupid compatibility is 99%