#old internet Tumblr posts

Timmy badger don’t care. Timmy badger don’t give a shit, he just takes what he wants.

oh actually this is only semi-related but the only time I’ve intruded without being directly @‘d re: nfsftlots on twt was a while ago I saw someone offering to email an epub to someone else & I was like ?? you could easily send them the itch link but ok. then I checked out the profile of the person who was getting the epub and the age listed was FOURTEEN (14) YEARS OLD and I was like. oh fuck I have to intervene and at least make sure they have the link to sfw epub instead of giving their email to someone on the internet

september

It's been excessively hot and I'm getting stir crazy trapped in this house. Time to play beauty spa!

Let's call this the "Before"

there's sooo many lol

Reading Nicky go "what do you mean I am supposed to do cassoulet with olive oil instead of goose fat as the Recipe Dictates?!?" on The Script™️ has strongly re-affirmed my headcanon that Nicky has One (1) Personal Enemy in this modern society:

Diet culture in general, and specifically "fat-free", "light" variations of recipes.

I think we've all come across them at some point. Those recipes where the food is originally meant to be fried, but the "modern" version says to bake it in the oven because "it's healthier". "Sugar-free" drinks or candies (as if they didn't put sweeteners in them anyway). Frying with vegetable oil instead of butter or lard. Using oil instead of butter in shortcrust pastries (it's a recent trend. My mother is Appalled™️ by this one). "Fat-free" cheeses, "fat-free" butter!!!

Don't get him fucking started on margarine.

Listen, the man is from Liguria, he loves olive oil. He has no problems believing that unsaturated fats are better for cardiovascular health, and that eating too much of a thing isn't good in general.

But. If the recipe says "butter", butter it will be. Why should it be wrong anyway? It's good! It's filling! It warms you up! It gives you nourishment!

The post about potatoes having a lot of calories being the whole point of potatoes? That's Nicky's food thesis right there.

Every time Nicky sees a magazine with publicized "miracolous diets" he breaks out in hives.

"Why are all these people obsessed with calories? Why does everyone want to lose weight so bad? Look at this monthly menu, Yusuf. This is miserable. We've eaten army rations that were better than this! And for what? Just to wear skinnier clothes for two months?"

"In this one you're supposed to substitute dinner with a tisane for a week!! This is starvation!!!! And what the fuck is a detox tisane anyway?!?"

"Look at this" *holds up a butter brand* "it says, 'now with 45% less fat'. This is butter, amore. They're taking fat out of butter! It would be like making canned tuna without tuna. É ridicolo, non ha alcun senso!"

Can he do anything about it? Absolutely not. Does he have more urgent things to worry about in his life? Of course he does, and it's not like it occupies his mind 24/7.

Do you think he loses any occasion to buy en masse as many copies of Cosmopolitan and Men's Health as he can get his hands on, and ritually burn them in the backyard of whichever safehouse they're staying in at the moment? HELL TO THE NO.

(And he's not going to budge on tradition, when he's cooking for leisure, comfort and Special Occasions, thank you very much)

Adults are being predatory when they display predatory behavior, not when they follow you and comment on your post or something lmao

found on

i have an immediate distrust for people who grew up with the internet but still decide to let their kids under 10 have their own devices connected to the internet like have you not learned anything from your time on the internet

man i am very emotional thinking about my internet friends all of you bring me so much happiness

Jean Smart getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?

HERE 👏 FOR 👏THAT 👏 SHIT!!!!!  

sitez that use code n shit will alwayz b superior boring sitez dat don't nd i will forevar believe dat. it gave everything personality and character. now itz so uniform nd bleak.