#organising Tumblr posts

  • It’s 11.20am on a Monday as I start to write this, and honestly I am so confused about what day it is, what the date is etc. I am feeling really disorientated. 

    I am day 26 of my cycle and I think because my friends were here last week I missed my opportunity to acknowledge and journey through my crossover day. The last few cycles my summer-autumn and autumn-winter crossover days have been really spacey, I’ve dreamt a lot, needed naps and also just generally felt a bit away with the faeries. I’ve been able to lie down and just day dream and have weird fantasies and visual images. However my summer-autumn crossover day fell within my friends visiting and I didn’t get to navigate it very consciously, as a result instead of having a few hours of crossover spaced out-ness, I’m now in the throes of it. It also happened to land within a few days where I was triggered to shit by my mum and realised just how fucking toxic and narcissistic she is. It reminded me of when I was younger, all my friends fucking loving her, and having no idea how fucking warped and toxic she is. 

    I really really need to start with the journal speak. I nearly started last night but ended up playing a game on my phone and just not getting it done. I’ve also been pretty shit with my coaching related stuff. I haven’t really actioned any of the things I said I’d do, at least not consciously. I was supposed to check in each morning and basically ask myself how I want to feel today, and also to check in and see how I’d like to move my body. But I don’t, my anxiety makes me get up and get going before I get a chance - I’ve realised. 

    I am starting to feel really anxious about leaving and heading back off for van life. Last night I was wondering whether I’ve actually made a mistake with the van. I’m craving a home, and now that I have a decent income it feels achievable. However, the van is supposed to help me save and I really really want that. I think it’s daunting because it’s going to be a HUGE lack of routine and structure, which I am not great with, not to mention the additional trickiness of navigating things in this pandemic. I mean it will be a lot better now that things are opening up, but I am nervous about it all. I am going to try and take it from a positive, loving perspective rather than a fear based one. 

    I am exhausted, obviously day 26, but also from the past few days. They were absolutely wonderful, it was fantastic to spend time with my friends, walking, swimming in the sea, eating good food and catching up. But I drank too much alcohol. Not even excessively, but too much for me, and this part of my cycle. I am just hoping I will not pay the price for it. But yes, exhausted. Can barely keep my eyes open. I had a nap on Saturday afternoon and then a good nights sleep on Saturday, then a good nights sleep last night. But I think I really, really need to try and focus on early nights this week, especially with my bleed approaching. 

    I need to have a bit of a review of everything on my to do list. I feel a bit like I have lost grip of it all recently, partly because my friends were here, but also partly from feeling dissociated. I forgot how intense it can feel, and how disruptive, and just how disconnected I can get. It has been a long time since I have felt this way, and to be honest, no matter how many times I make it through, I worry that I will never return to ‘normal’ again. I know fighting it doesn’t help, and just making the journey through it easier is my only option. Plus avoiding things that can make it worse (alcohol, lack of sleep). 

    I am wondering if I have been pushed into dissociation due to the triggering stuff with mum, but also because I told one of my friends about my childhood trauma. Whether sharing it, but not really talking about it, has pushed me into a fogginess in some way. Regardless, I need to just hold myself gently and recognise that my mind/body is afraid of something and that I need to proceed gently. I could also be resisting emotion, which to be honest is highly likely. So perhaps I will do the journal speak thing after this. This doesn’t feel like journal speak, it feels more like an update and brain dump. 

    I woke up feeling groggy and spaced out. I had breakfast, cleaned my teeth, washed my face and applied some face oil. In the hope it would wake me up, but it hasn’t really! So I guess I’ll just have to take it steady today. I feel like I am on the edge of an angry outburst, fucked off and pissed off with everything. If my mum asks me to do something I know I’ll probably flip. It feels like everyone is on my case, yet nobody is here. 

    I am due to catch up with my best friend this week, and that will be nice, even if I am on my bleed. I know that social connection is good for my dissociation. 

    Perhaps I need to give myself some time to daydream and zone out, to navigate that crossover day, albeit it later than it actually happened?

    The week ahead isn’t too busy, which is both a good thing and a bad thing I think. Not being busy means more time to think and get myself in a pickle about things, but in a good way it means more rest and time to chill, particularly at this point in my cycle. Nonetheless, I need to spend a bit of time this morning mapping out my week, my food and my tasks. Hopefully then that will give me the space I need to let go and float a bit. 

    In terms of my schedule this week. I have my first student at 4pm today and finish at 7pm. So only 3 hours which is good. Then two hours tomorrow afternoon. Then I have my coaching call on Friday. I will also need to book in my catch up with my MCA buddy and also my best friend. Other than that, not much on the agenda. 

    My aims for today don’t account to much, which is good I think given how knackered I am!

    • Finish audiobook (1hr 25min left and expires in 2 days)
    • Put washing away
    • Put washing on
    • Sort rubbish
    • Send reminder text to client
    • Deliver x 3 client sessions
    • Respond to N
    • Reply to V
    • Organised catch up with T
    • Insta post
    • Put client timesheets up x2
    • Order van service bits
    • Charge work phone

    Ok, actually a bit more than I thought. I think I’m going to go for a gentle walk and listen to my audiobook in the hope it will help me connect to my body! Let’s see! Will check in again later, I’ve missed having this space to check in with myself and think maybe that’s part of why I feel so lost and spaced out right now!

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  • Project Declutter!! • Part III • The After


    I organised everything, put my cosmetics and jewelry in a new spot, threw out a ginormous pile of rubbish (and Pfandflaschen, fellow Germans know what I’m talking about) and did the most thorough hoover session I’ve done in a while. IT FEELS GLORIOUS ✨

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  • In the UK, how would we be able to organise protests across our various towns in support of Black Lives Matter while also safely social distancing? Can we do something like the NHS clapping thing and clap for the protests, or sing some sort of song? Possibly ‘The Hanging Tree?’

    #protests #black lives matter #george floyd #fight for whats right #after months #i am still angry #i am furious #i am FUMING #organising #we need to help our black brothers and sisters #please #lets do something to help
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    So yesterday I only did practice stuff on Duolingo, and today I haven’t done anything yet, but I have a good excuse!! I’m redecorating!! Yay!! I finally got to the shops to get some stuff I’ve been waiting for. So after driving around all day, now the fun stuff, setting it all up. I have all new stuff to store my Norwegian books and notebooks as well. Fun times ☺️

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    It has been a week. I’ve been off the media for a bit. I completely support the BLM movement but between that and covid, there’s only so much hard stuff I can take.

    It’s been a big training week, 32kms so far, and I’ve still got 3 hours of training over the weekend. Tuesday night was perfect running conditions. Wednesday (when the photo was taken) was a bit windy, but fun, just an easy 30 mins while Kate was at ballet. Thursday was hills, windy.

    I haven’t weighed myself in a few days, so I don’t know where I’m at. I think there’s something wrong with the scales, or the floor, because if I stand on them, get a reading, don’t believe it (lighter than I expected), stand on them again, get a completely different reading.

    I’ve packed up my “desk”! I had to return all the kit to office, so they can reset the desks in time for Monday! We’re all back to the office. I’m really looking forward to desk time, to space from home, to interacting with other adults, but it’s also bittersweet. It’s been so great to be at home all the time. Also, back to the same challenge…how to avoid buying “snacks” [read: treats] from the supermarket downstairs. That was the biggest contributor to not losing anything before.

    I started watching a new planner channel planwithlaken. Laken is all about goal setting, and she had this great video about how she plans her life. I’ve followed her advice and set up a default Google calendar, and honestly, it has blown my mind. I have no idea if i was working enough hours during the week, how to fit them around everything else, how to work in extra time. Seeing it laid out has been a complete game changer! I’m so ready to tackle next week, because I feel like I’ve got it so well organised!

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  • For anyone going to a protest today (or in the coming days) in England & Wales (laws may be different in Scotland and almost certainly are in Northern Ireland), here is an up-to-date bustcards as reblogged out by @ukblm between June 3rdth & June 5th 2020:

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    Note, these differ from the current @ukblm pinned tweet because one of the solicitors HJA has changed their number

    Know your rights and know who to contact

    #protest #george floyd protests #organising#uk protests#blm #black lives matter
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  • #2020 quarantine challenge

    Week 9, Wednesday

    Are you a clean or a messy person?

    I’d like to be a clean person, but I am afraid that I am a messy person. I clean up my room every other week, and then my room stays very tidy for a maximum of a week. Then, I am looking for something in my room in a hurry, and it has become a mess again. So, it kind of depends on where in the cleaning cycle we are ;).

    Organizing is something I enjoy, but I really have to be in the mood for it. Checking and replying to emails and saving files in an organized way is something that I’m quite good at though.

    #2020 quarantine challenge #studyblr#messy#clean#organising #week 9 wednesday
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    I went around my house and gathered up all of my yarn and put it in this box! I’m so proud of myself! The only yarn this doesn’t include is my scraps and yarn for active projects :)

    I’ve set myself a goal to not buy any more yarn until the box is half empty. I’ll keep you up to date lmao

    #yarn#organisation#organising#hoarding#crafts #too much yarn #I don't even remember buying most of it #I remember when I wanted to knit a spiderman baby blanket #what a disaster #I see lots of knitting in my future #I see lots of crochet in my future #all of the hats #all of the scarves #maybe I'll finally master socks #maybe some washcloths out of the cotton #yarnaholic
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    It’s been a mad few days. Finishing my degree and moving back home means one thing though…organising and tidying my room!

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  • How to make a good shopping list

    Okay, I’m gonna teach you guys how to make an organized shopping list for an entire week. This is how my mom does it and I thought I’d share the knowledge with you all.

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    Step 1: plan your week

    In the yellow part you’re going to write the days of the week, my mom shops on Saturday so her list are from Saturday to Friday. Behind every day you’re going to write the dishes you’re going to eat on that day, when planning keep in mind that you plan things that spoil easier at the start of the week and foods that stay preserved for longer at the end.

    Step 2: ingredients

    When you’ve planned your week, you’re going to purple part, this is the part for the store you always go to. Now you’re gonna go past your dishes you planned and for each dish you write down what you need to buy in order to make the dish, keep in mind that you might already have some stuff, so you won’t need to buy everything. My mom also tries to organise things in categories, so she’ll have a smaller chance to forget stuff. Her categories are dairy products, vegetables etc.

    Step 3: other stores

    The black part is for other stores you go to. These are stores that supply special foods. My mom goes to a small Turkish store, but maybe for you it’s the butcher or a bakery. This is an optional part of course.

    Step 4: bulk

    Now that you’ve got all the stuff you need for your dishes, you take a walk around your house and see what you miss and need. This is things like toilet paper, toothpaste, sauce, bandaids etc. Just things you have in house for just in case or a stock.

    ~

    Hopes this help anyone, who is struggling with structure and organising their shopping!

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  • This is my fabric stash cupboard. It really needs every scrap of fabric removed and put into some sort of order before being replaced neatly. Daughter is keen to help me do this job. I think it will take at the very least half a day to complete. I am thinking organise by colour with the largest bits of fabric on the bottom shelf moving up to fat quarters and smaller pieces. I also need to better organise my scrap bin which lives under my cutting table. This may happen next weekend… Hopefully.

    #fabric#fabric stash#organising #there is a lot of fabric in there
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    04/05/20 ~ Monday

    Nothing beats starting into Monday with a freshly organised desk. My anxiety finally calmed down enough over the weekend so I could clean the desk and the big shelf next to it. I sorted through an ungodly amount of paperwork, but it was definitely worth it. Now onwards with fresh study motivation!

    Clean desk, clear mind :)

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  • Do you hear the death
    Rattle of the chains
    That shackle?

    The freedom in
    The words of 
    Love poured onto 
    The world that sprout?
    As blossoms 
    Wanted
    Blooming where they are planted
    Strewn
    Taking root in cracks and divisions
    Casting aspersions on 
    Constructed exclusions

    Who will help us carry
    Freedom?
    Heavy 
    Laden with bloody tears

    We gather ourselves
    Our bones
    We give ourselves over to the spirit of loving
    With our cores
    With our extremities
    With our back breaking
    Laughter filled
    Dexterities 

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  • A while back - organising my study over isolation and listening to Dope Lemon on repeat.

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  • I have been decluttering and reorganising my bookshelves for almost two weeks now, and my favorite thing is finishing a book from my to-read pile (which is the last pile standing) putting it in its’ rightful place and picking up the next book.

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