Je suis sous une échelle. Je suis près d’un chat noir. Je marche sur les lignes dans les carreaux. Oui, je suis amoureuse de la mauvaise fortune, mais je ne fais que d’un vœu. Il est ma nostalgie. Mon amour.
Je suis sous une échelle. Je suis près d’un chat noir. Je marche sur les lignes dans les carreaux. Oui, je suis amoureuse de la mauvaise fortune, mais je ne fais que d’un vœu. Il est ma nostalgie. Mon amour.
Some things can
🙉 only be done 🙊
in silence 。。。
by D. L. Egan
The appreciation art continues - this time for one of my favorite Side A songs - Ma Chérie ❤️
You are gently breaking open my rib cage with the beating of my own heart
You strain my love and puppet my heart strings
With the best of intentions
Your surprising kind words, I savour, sink into my head like acid
Your laugh echoes in my skull and cracks it further with each reverb
With kind wishes
Your second-hand compliments rot my teeth
You peel back my defences and the skin on my chest leaving me bare and bloody
And I can’t go without it for long
You stand in blissful ignorance of the cruelty your kindness bestows
The ache that plays my heart in the realisation: That you dont want me how
I need you
So I will sit in your cruel kindness as it destroys my soul
I love you. And thats what pains me
A more rectilinear variation on that vase. Grey fountain pen on cream card. Similar to one in my shop.
A bit of today’s writing on book 2 of the “Out There” duology.
Orin’s mind blurred.
The last time he came up against the Vitiate was fifty years ago on another planet. He had defeated the dark sorcerer, barely getting away with his own life.
The older man swallowed hard and focused on calming his fear. “This complicates things. If he is involved, then our predicament just grew exponentially harder. Retrieving Terra must be our priority.”
“My priority is to the royal family,” Captain Rael retorted.
“The Vitiate took a special interest in her. Why?” If this man could expand on the reason why her husband agreed to hand over the girl to the Vitiate, then she needed to know. Giving a child of unknown origins to a stranger went against his nature. She knew something was horribly wrong in that moment. “What is her importance?”
“Does it matter?” Will snapped? “She’s the only family I have! She’s my–” He bit back the rest of it, almost letting ‘my other half’ slip out with his desperation.
He felt Yune’s palm press down on his head, but not in a rough way. It felt more like solidarity, understanding, and comfort - with the pressure that unmistakably said ‘zip it, Sparky.’
Both noticed the shift in Orin’s normally taciturn personality. Orin was genuinely afraid. And it didn’t stem from his knowledge of Terra’s position as one of the One Thousand or a Regent experiment. Will didn’t think a man over three hundred years old could fear anything, but this suffocating thick moment proved him wrong.
“Because the Vitiate is a hunter of very specific prey. If he has her,” Orin took a deep breath and regarded the room of ardent listeners, “then she is in grave danger.”
As long as we stay true to our reality, he and I cannot be together- yet I’m utterly suffocated by the little moments when everything could happen over and over and over again- because I had to remain the same woman, only now he was gone.
16″ x 20″
Acrylic on Canvas
Nostalgia lies to confident idiots
Yearning to relive old glories.
Forget certain lines in history
Cannot be scratched out.
When reckoning shall come,
Time is cruel in its retribution.
Useless words held no comfort
For a land in so much fear.
Listen as a nations’ bones strain
Under the burden of ignorance.
Arrogance led to nowhere,
Left helpless, yet still selfish.
Them who were blamed, attacked, hated on,
Fought back, defiant, refused to stand down.
See how people danced in the streets,
As Democracy issued an eviction notice.
Not sorry a fragile ego got bruised,
Just delighted to see the back of it.
Dahlia closeup in red fountain pen on cream card. In my shop.
When it only takes a look, a wordless spark that ignites our hunger. Just like that you’re across the cab of the truck, my hands in your hair, your fingers undoing my belt. You take me out and tell me to get us home quickly as you settle into the seat, hiking up your skirt and slipping me between your lips. I reach over and start fingering you as I punch the accelerator, as your mouth sucks at the head of my cock.
“Oh fuck, baby,“ I moan through gritted teeth, trying to focus on the road.”
“Mmmmm…“ you answer around my hardness, your pussy growing wetter by the moment.
Miraculously, I get us home without incident, my cock never leaving your lips, my fingers only briefly slipping from your wetness (navigation and turn signals and all). We careened into the driveway and pulled straight into the garage, flinging both doors open even before I dropped it into park, the neighbors perhaps catching a quick glimpse of my bouncing arousal as I hustled around to your side of the truck, while the garage door closed us inside.
You shuffled off your seat and planted your feet firmly, spread wide for me, lifting your skirt as I moved behind you. I licked my fingers quickly, needlessly adding more spit to the head of my cock before ramming myself into you.
"Fuck…” we moan in unison, buried in your heat, your walls squeezing and already quivering with the sudden entry of my thickness. My fingers gripped your hips tight, you looked back at me over your shoulder and purred, “fuck me hard and fast, baby, we have much to do before tonight…”
Once you get the feeling it
Wants you back for more “
Her parents always looked happier when they were out east. They’d alternate between Faetongue - the native language spoken in the region - and Eurydicean with ease, completely indistinguishable from the proper Briarean vampires. Selene especially, resembling many of the dark-skinned vampires that resided in southern Sanguis and Briar, where they’d adapted to the harsher sunlight. She’d take the twins around the covered bazaars when the sun was lowered, and merchants would hand them food served on huge leaves. Then they’d sit and watch the fire-elf performers that devoured their own flames.
Esme remembered playing in the cool springs with young elves and vampires and hybrids, laughing and scarcely missing the concrete capital. Lucien would collect blood citruses borne from crossing sanguinem with oranges using earth magic, and they’d eat until their bellies were full and round. At night they’d sleep atop pillows in Briarlight’s rooms, and the other children would sneak about and trade stories in Faetongue. Esme had learned a few words of the secondary language, picked them up from odd phrases shouted back and forth, but she’d already forgotten most of them.
➼ PART 1 // THE BEGINNING: moonlit conversations, vanished leaders and the grief of those left behind
➼ PART 2 // THE ROOKIE: strange faces, unwelcome surprises and frogs in boiling water
➼ PART 3 // THE AFTERMATH: how do you re-arrange deck chairs while the Titanic sinks around you? pretty easily, at it turns out
➼ PART 4 // THE QUESTION: a suspicion, an investigation, a threat
➼ PART 5 // THE STORM: is there anything worse than the silence, after all of it is over?
➼ PART 6 // THE CROWN: a homecoming
Yayaries Noxrus is a Black Half-Dragon, who’s other half is Bronze Half-Dragon. Of course having parents of different sides of the alignment scale is tough seeing as this meant he would live much of his early life only with his Bronze Half-Dragon mother. There were, of course, times in which he would see his father and spend time with him which is actually how he learned his somewhat lacking combat skills. Funnily enough his parents were lovers on the opposite sides of the battle field, who were very much in love with one another throughout their lives and would have secret meetups when there wasn’t open fighting between their own draconic sires and their coloration, one of which would spawn Yayaries.
Later in life, around his mid-twenties, he would have begun his active practice in magic and invention. It would take him many years of theory and trial and error to finally create his first working magical construct. Perhaps it wouldn’t have taken so long if he had been a bit less of a recluse in those early years since having some more detailed knowledge of these things from outside sources would have saved him having to invent every minute detail in isolation.
When he would reach his mid to late hundreds he would finally come out of isolation and begin his time as an explorer and public inventor. That time instilled a wanderlust in him that still runs deep in his core, even as he is 429 years old. He has dedicated his life so far to traveling the world to find all the inspiration out there available to him and to incorporate magics from every culture and are into his work. As well as amass a sizable fortune to fall back on when he reaches his peak of age. In truth wanderlust and monetary drive isn’t his only reason for adventuring. He has two secret goals in his heart that drive the fire in his forge of a heart hotter than any. The first is to find a way that doesn’t resort to evil or necrotic means to become truly immortal. His second, which he keeps a closer secret than his dream of immortality, is to find the strongest and most precious materials in the realms to fashion a constructed bride in the image of his once loyal lover that has long since past. Perhaps driven by some deep-seeded madness or by a deep and unreasonable guilt and grief, the true reason doesn’t matter to him, just that he sees this goal through till he either completes it or dies trying.
Early life for the man known as Constintain wasn’t very remarkable. Raised in a very normal Vistani environment, living in the roving caravans with his family and clan as they traveled across Leafsveil. His parents were pretty normal for Vistani though of course they had their vices. After living this life for sixteen years he decided that this life was much too boring so he decided he would make his way on his own.
He made his way alone for a while but eventually he would find some excitement. While he made his way across the continent he would enter a town that was being visited by a traveling carnival named “The Crimson Cavalcade”. He was absolutely captivated by everything there was to do and see in this one little event and he was particularly enraptured by the acts of the acrobats and jugglers as he was pretty dexterous and good with throwing knives which he felt was similar enough to juggling. At this point in life he had a bit of a theft problem as he had nearly no money and felt like he shouldn’t have to pay for the things he wanted. This caused problems before but this particular time when he laid his eyes on a magnificent pair of pistols hung up in one of the private tents it would get him into much more than he bargained for.
When he was sure he was alone and unseen he made his way into the tent and snatched the firearms he saw. He would then attempt to make his way out of this tent, but as he made his way out he would believe he was scott free. He would quickly be proven wrong as the handle of a cane caught his shoulder. Standing behind him holding the end of said cane was a man with black, shaggy hair clumsily hanging over a furrowed, wild face. Glinting blue eyes, set dreadfully within their sockets, and scars reaching from the top of the left cheek, running towards his upper lip and ending on his left cheek. Sitting atop his head lazily was a dark top hat and he would look down at the young Constintain.
He would bring him back inside the tent and make him hand over the guns he had stolen. After this he would introduce himself as the Whipmaster Crowe Lockwood and the owner of this traveling circus. He would then give him a choice, he could either report Constintain to the guard of the town and have him arrested for theft or he would pay off the transgression by joining his circus. This would confuse Constintain, but he didn’t turn down this offer as he definitely didn’t want to be arrested and he also already wanted to join this cavalcade of misfits. This would be the beginning of 10 years of hell for the Vistani.
Almost immediately he would begin training as an acrobat and juggler as he had wanted, but he would also be taught many more things. He would be tutored on the finer arts of thievery and eventually as more was revealed to him about his new “family” he would be taught the art of inflicting pain and killing. This was no mere traveling circus as it had seemed to outsiders, no this was secretly a traveling temple of Loviatar The Maiden of Pain. They traveled around the continent setting up these shows as if they were a normal circus but they were always just a front for secret meetings for the faithful of Loviatar. In an off limits tent high ranking members of the church would be able to revel in the pain of the lower ranking members as they are made to perform acts similar to the normal circus but using equipment made to be extremely tortuous to use. The acrobats would swing from jagged and rusty bars, the juggles would have to use jagged blades, dancers would be made to dance on paths of broken glass, ect, ect.
Those who failed to perform satisfactorily would be presented to Whipmaster Lockwood for direct punishment that would last for days. When Constintain wasn’t performing for the civilian audience, being made to perform for the church members, or practicing for hours on end he would be sent out into town or into the crowds gathered at the circus to steal valuables and pick pockets for much more profit than the circus made on it’s own. During this thievery he would develop a fascination with artifacts of historical or cultural significance and would often steal things of that type for himself as long as they were small and easy to hide. He wasn’t allowed to have his own possessions as a part of the circus so he would have to constantly hide his collection of nick nacks.
After ten years of this he would become more and more rebellious against this system which would net him more and more punishments from the Whipmaster. The day of his twenty sixth birthday someone would finally inform the Whipmaster of Constintain’s personal collection and in turn the Whipmaster would go to have these items taken and added to the circus’s funds. When he would attempt this Constintain would decide this was the final straw and when Lockwood came he would strike out at him in an attempt to save his items and partly to free himself from this congregation. He would be swiftly defeated in this attempt and as this was a major infringement against the church and the Whipmaster he would be slated for punishment. This time though it would be the longest and most gruesome punishment he had faced yet. He would be subjected to constant torture for weeks on end. Eventually after one month of pure hell his punishment was decided to be over as the Whipmaster finally decided he would bleed him dry. Of course it was a slow process as the Whipmaster drained him of every drop of blood before throwing out his lifeless corpse into some muddy roadside ditch as they traveled to their next destination.
His death was the first time he had a true escape from the years of tortue he had to endure. His soul would be left waiting in limbo for what seemed like forever and he didn’t really mind this. As this happened to his soul his body would be stumbled upon by pilgrims traveling to a temple of the Raven Queen. When they found the corpse they took it with them as they believed nobody should be left without a proper burial and funerary rites. It took many days for them to reach their destination, but through divine magic they kept his body preserved and kept his soul from fully departing before he could be given the proper rites to usher his soul to where it belonged. When finally brought to the temple his body would begin to be prepared for burial and the rites would be given. Though this act of ceremony the Raven Queen’s attention would be brought to the soul of Constintain who was just enjoying the peace of death. This would peak her interest as there were very few who would be so relaxed and content in death as he was.
Possibly just on a whim she made the choice that one so peaceful in death deserved a second chance to live a good and peaceful life, and one such as this could be perfect to bring this peace to others who must pass. With that she would send his soul back to his mortal shell and at the same time would give an end to the pain his body felt as he returned, whispering to him “Take this child, a second chance for life. May the peace you felt in death lead you to seek others that require it in life”. With that he was reborn and brought into the fold of the Raven Queen. For a while he would be confused and wouldn’t know what to do with this new lease on life. For a few months he would attempt to be part of the traditional clergy of the Queen as a priest, or a cleric but this proved to be far too restrictive for his free spirit. One night he would be visited by his Queen in his dreams and she would give him an offer, he could make a pact with her and pledge his soul eternal to her service. In her service he would need to search out people in need and places where untimely or unwarranted deaths would taint the afterlives of those lost. In those places he would bring an end to the problems plaguing the souls and introduce them to the way of the Queen in ways that were less overt and forceful as priests or clerics. By helping those people and leaving small hints that this aid was given by the power of the Queen he would be able to bring more people to her flock and through the powers she would give him he would be able to right the wrongs that affected the souls of the dead. He could take up this mantle or he could choose to be free in his choices in life and continue to live as free as he liked, but that life was not assured to give the fulfillment or salvation he seeked.
He would take the deal offered by the Raven Queen and would become her warlock. He would take up the task she gave him and would begin to travel across the continent as he had done before. This time he looked to find people in need and souls in trouble. As he went on these adventures he would come across others that decided they would join him in this mission for reasons all their own. Some did it for coin, some for the thrill, and some for the feeling of accomplishment, but they all came together regardless. In the end the party came to be composed of five members.
Constintain the Vistani Rogue/Warlock
Ysabel the Tabaxi Way of the Open Hand Monk
Arimorn the Shifter Circle of Stars Druid
Jennoa the Half-Elf Life Cleric
Yora the Vedalken Clockwork Sorcerer
This party traveled together for the better part of ten years before they came upon their final adventure. After the ascension and then fall of Orcus there were very many powerful undead left around the world and Constintain’s group were soke of the ones that worked to clean up that mess. Many ancient and powerful liches had come under the service of Orcus, and after his defeat were left to their own devices in a weakened land. Constintain and his party were sent in pursuit of one of these undead magi.
This lich had made it’s way down the coat leaving a trail of destruction as it went raising all that fell in its wake as thralls. It made it’s way to a former pirate stronghold made of countless stolen ships at the cove hidden under an ocean cliff. The top of which housed an ancient fort which the pirates formally held but now served as the throne of the lich.
By the time the party had caught their way though army of undead created by the evil wretch they were already wounded and exhausted. They had been forced to fight through the cove of undead pirates and up the passages into the cliffside citadel where they would finally confront their quarry on the crumbling battlements.
The fight would be a hard fought one but quickly became a war of attrition as the lich began by focusing fully on the cleric Jennoa as it knew she would keep the party in the fight. It would bombard her already wounded form with spells before uttering a single word and causing her to fall dead on the spot. With her dead the next target was the druid Arimorn and they would be stunned in place and be left to slowly suffocate in a cloud of poison gas before they could change their form.
With two of the five dispatched so quickly the remaining party were pushed back close to the edge of the cliff with a wave of thunder from the lich. The sorcerer Yorra would attempt to fling one of his most powerful spells at the abomination but it easily countered his spell and responded in turn with a thin green beam that pierced the Vedalken between the eyes before refusing his body to dust.
Now only two were left Ysabel the monk and Constintain. They had been backed up to the very edge of the cliff by the lich as it seeked to toy with its prey for a while longer. Seeing their situation was unwinnable Ysabel would make Constintain’s decision for him. She would look to him and say “I’m sorry friend, but you’re destined for bigger things. Let’s meet again once this is all over”. After her farewell was given she would sweep Constintain’s legs from under him and push him off the cliff down into the cove below. The last he saw of her was her running towards the undead wizard with a cry of battle.
The next thing he remembered was an impact, the sound of splintering wood, pain, and then darkness. He remembered this darkness engulfing his mind for what seemed like an eternity before he finally awoke. When he did he was in the crew quarters of a ship. He had been nursed to health by the crew of a trade vessel and when asked the captain told him they found him adrift at sea, the only one aboard an old rotting ship that seemed to have once been used by pirates. They told him that they would be docking at Holtwick and he could go aland there and look for more aid there.
When he arrived he would come onto town and begin a downward spiral of theft and drink. Stealing and taking jobs tomb raiding to get money that he would throw away for booze. He would live this way for years before his skill at finding ancient relics would be noticed by a local archeologist’s guild. They would hire him to find relics for them instead of private collectors or undesirables. This was the push he needed to get started back in a positive direction. He would do this work and would eventually begin to steal the artifacts he got for the collectors and criminals before to give to the people that would use them for the right things.
This is what he would be doing for the rest of his years in Holtwick, putting his former life of adventure as far away in his mind as he could. Though since the day he failed to defeat that lich, and abandoned his pact with the Raven Queen she would stop speaking with him and would even stop listening to his prayers. So there he would be for years until the day he decided to steal a relic from some powerful in Holtwick and would hitch a ride with a group of adventurers seeking to kill a god.