requested by @jjskiaras
requested by @jjskiaras
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝘳𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵 18+ [ 𝘥𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨; 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨?; 𝘬𝘯𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺; 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥; 𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘭, 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨; 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨; 𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨; 𝘤𝘶𝘮 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺; 𝘥𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘺 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬 ]
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝘳𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘦𝘳.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.8𝘒
𝐚/𝐧: 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴! 𝘪 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘭𝘥, 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺!
𝘨𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦
“Sh sh sh,” I felt someone’s hand covering my mouth, dragging my body as I tried to hit the man with my elbows, “Let me go,” I sought to scream, but every sound I made got muffled with his palm. Police sirens tore through my ears, making me squeeze my eyes shut, head hurting like hell as I desperately squirmed in his rough hold.
The sound of unlocked door made me jerk even more, but everything was helpless. He turned the lights on and shoved me inside of a small room, looking like a garage or something, locking us back again, “Rafe?”
“Shut—” he pressed his lips together, walking close to me, “Shut the fuck up,” he blurted, his voice low, jaws gritted, his finger is pointing on me, he was definitely pissed.
“What the fuck is this? Why did you—“
“I said shut—” he yelled, roaming back and forth, “—the fuck up.”
“Right,” I chuckled crossing my arms on my chest, “Is this some weird kind of a task for your father or—“
He strode back to me pushing me into the wall, my spine colliding with the stone cold surface, his hand wrapping around my throat, “I just helped you,” he said in a hushed voice, “I just saved your fucking life,” his head tilting to the side, tightening his hold on my throat, starting to choke me.
“Oh yeah? You saved me? Why then?” I shifted. He was right, I probably would have been already caught and killed by the cops if not him, but still.
He didn’t bother to loose his hold, peacefully watching me suffocating, his fingers fiddling with the buttons on my top, his eyes bored into mine, “Only because—“ he dived into my neck, whispering in my ear, “I want to kill you myself.”
I shoved my palms into his chest, making him stumble back, using my advantage trying to run.
He growled, yanking my hand, pinning me against the wall again, pulling the knife out of nowhere, pressing it against my throat, “Try that again,” he raised his brows dangerously, applying more pressure on his knife.
“Do not,” he shook his head, loosening his hold on me.
I panted heavily, feeling the stinging feeling in my stomach growing bigger, the wave of bravery washed over me as I grabbed his clothed cock, squeezing it lightly, palming him, cupping his face with my other hand. And I crushed my lips with his, and he did, he did kiss me back. His hands sneaking around my waist, grabbing my ass roughly, my fingers tangling in his hair, “Come on, daddy, fuck me.”
“You’re a desperate little slut, aren’t you?” he snarled sitting me down the table, spreading my legs wide, standing in between them, “Open your mouth,” he demanded, digging his nails into my chin, tilting my head up and back as he spat on my tongue, “Swallow,” he grinned, forcing my mouth closed, leaning in, his lips brushing against my ear, “Fucking whore.”
He pulled away, with a smug smirk oh his face, which was quickly replaced with his gritted jaws and a dirty look on me, as I slapped his cheek, leaving a big red mark. He growled, caressing his skin, rolling his tongue on the inside of his mouth, “You got me fucked up,” he grabbed the knife, moving towards me, ripping my shirt off, all of the buttons scattering all over the floor, I didn’t wear no bra. My nipples hardened at the look of him and anticipation of what he is going to do to me.
He cupped one of my breasts, kneading it, swallowing harshly as he watched me rolling my eyes at the pleasure he caused me.
I gasped, feeling the cold metal blade tracing designs down my body, from my neck to my shoulder, over my nipple and down my stomach, “Hurt me,” I breathed out, “I know you want to, and I want to feel something. Hurt me, Rafe.”
He loved and hated me calling him by his name, his hands moved up, digging the tip of the knife into my cheek, narrowing his eyes on me, “Come on, do it.”
And he did, he scratched my skin, right under my collarbone, pushing the knife deeper, the look on his face absolutely cold, “Mmm,” I moaned, at the pain and pleasure, my eyes fluttering closed, his tongue licking the blood off, his lips latched on the mark he left,
“Does it hurt?”
“As you deserve.”
My brain stopped me, but my body craved him. I loved the way he handled me.
“Get down,” he ordered, his husky voice making my arousal soak my panties, “On your knees.”
I did as he pleased, I dropped on the cold floor in front of him, unbuckling his belt and tugging his pants down, “Fuck,” I muttered, he was large, and hard.
I brushed my fingertips over his base, earning a hiss from him.
Rafe undid his shirt tossing it on the table, as he watched me, making him feel good. I spat on his tip, my thumb mixing my saliva with his pre cum as I started stroking him up and down, listening to his muffled moans. I swirled my tongue over his tip, sucking and biting on it gently. He gripped my hair, tugging on my roots a little too much, but I was here for this, for the pain and pleasure. I played with his tip a little more, before taking him all the way in and out, in and out.
“No, no, no,” he snarled, forcing me down on him, my nose brushing against his abdomen. This man was practically choking me on his dick, holding me like that for moments. My palms collided with his hips, pushing him away a little, panting, my chest heaving up and down. He chuckled, doing the same thing again, tears running down my cheeks, the drool slipping from the corner of my mouth, “Come on, you can take it.”
I was out of breath, trying to get some air through my nose, pleasing him with my tongue as he moved slowly, barely getting out of my mouth, “Just like that, yeah.”
Rafe loosened his hold on me, his dick hardened in my mouth, and that was a signal — he was about to come.
I pulled away, holding him on the edge, taking only his tip in my mouth, “Fuck,” he groaned in frustration, but let me handle him this time.
And I made him cum, white ribbons filling my mouth as he backed away, watching me swallowing every drop of it, trying to suppress a smile growing on his face, “Come here.”
I got up on my feet, looking him in the eyes, my thumb gathering the drops of the sticky liquid off his dick as I put the finger in my mouth, licking it clean, making him watch me as I did, “You’re a fucking slut,” he whispered, yanking my hand away, his lips brushing mine, “Take those fucking pants off.”
I slid my palms down my sides, my shorts and panties falling down the floor, levelling my ankles, “Is this better, daddy?”
“Again,” he mouthed, “Say it again.”
“What, do you get off on that?” I laughed, making small steps back as he towered over my small frame, my ass facing the cold wooden surface.
“I will destroy you.”
“Well then destroy me, daddy.”
He forced me on the table, his palm holding me down by my shoulder, the other hand reaching out for the knife as he skimmed the blade all over my body again, “Cut me,” I whined, feeling the wetness dripping out of my pussy as he grabbed one of my thighs, his fingers painfully digging into my skin. He pushed the knife further, causing a burning sensation. He craved something, “Fuck, Rafe,” I whimpered, trying to get out of his hold, but he was way stronger than me. He was focused, biting on his lower lip as he kept on scratching something on my leg, “Yeah,” he said in his specific intonation, “Look at it now,” he allowed me to sit up, swiping the drops of blood with his fingertips, sucking it off. He craved his initials, R.C.
“You asked for it, you’ve got it.”
“I also asked you to fuck me,” I smirked, tracing a line down his chest, scratching his skin with my nails, making my way down his dick. He sighed loudly, grabbing my wrist firmly, “Bend over,” he nodded towards the armchair standing a few meters away from the table I was seated on, and I did, I crawled up the soft material, with Rafe following me behind.
“Let’s see,” he muttered, slapping my ass with the whole strength he has gotten, I choked, digging my teeth into my lower lip, to muffle the scream, “Better, with my palm printed on you.”
And he slammed his hands again and again, watching me shudder as he did, “What, do you get off on that?” he mocked, sliding his fingers along my dripping core, tasting me on his tongue, humming quietly.
“Maybe I do, but so do you.”
He only chuckled evilly, spitting on his fingers, rubbing it all over my pussy, I gripped on the backrest tighter, trying not to show how badly I wanted him.
I felt his tip stroking against me up and down, and right when I wasn’t ready, he thrusted in forcefully, making me take all of him, giving no time to adjust, “Fuck,” I screamed as loud as possible, his palm now covering my mouth as he did while dragging me here, “Don’t fucking scream.”
He kept pounding into me, barely pulling out, full of anger and lust, holding me by my hip, his other hand resting on my waist, “Harder, Cameron, so at least I get fucked properly, before I die.”
He scoffed, seizing my thighs tighter, guiding me, hitting all the right spots, “You’re a fucking slut,” he kept thrusting, his hold on me harden, his whole body tensed.
“You already said that,” my eyes rolled at the back of my head, my walls clenching around him, sensing his moves getting a little sloppier, but he didn’t give up, fucking me deeper, so I could feel him in my stomach, “Rafe,” I exhaled sharply, sensing his fingers on my clit, pinching and rubbing the sensitive spot, tightening over his dick, unable to keep my eyes open, “Cum.”
I came, gripping on the soft coverage, my wetness dripping down his base, my inner things and on the armchair he fucked me on.
He didn’t stop, chasing his own release, fucking me through my high, his hand on my lower stomach as we both panted harshly.
He gripped my hair, tugging me up, filling me in perfectly, his dick twitching, my walls tighten more as we both came together, his warm cum spilling inside of me. Rafe still moving slowly, loosening his hold on my body. He backed away, gathering the mess we made with his tip, shoving it back inside of me, “Just like that.”
“Open up,” our heads snapped to the door, “It’s sheriff Shoupe, we know you’re inside.”
tags: @ildm4ev @maybankforlife
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if the pouges were kpop stans
Ult Boy Group: NCT
Biases: Renjun, Jaemin, Jaehyun & Mark
Ult Girl Group: (G)I-DLE
Ult Male Solo Artist: Dean
Ult Female Solo Artist: Lisa
Current Favorite Song: Frost by TXT
Ult Boy Group: ACE
Biases: Wow & BK
Ult Girl Group: Everglow
Biases: Mia & E:U
Ult Male Solo Artist: Daniel Kang
Ult Female Solo Artist: Sunmi
Current Favorite Song: Trauma by Seventeen
Ult Boy Group: Enhypen
Ult Girl Group: Red Velvet
Biases: Joy & Yeri
Ult Male Solo Artist: B.I
Ult Female Solo Artist: Joy
Current Favorite Song: After School by Weeekly
Ult Boy Group: SHINee
Biases: Jonghyun & Key
Ult Girl Group: 4Minute
Ult Male Solo Artist: Jonghyun
Ult Female Solo Artist: Soyeon
Current Favorite Song: First by Everglow
Ult Boy Group: EXO
Biases: Lay, Baekhyun, & Xiumin
Ult Girl Group: Mamamoo
Ult Male Solo Artist: Gray
Ult Female Solo Artist: Hyuna
Current Favorite Song: Dream In A Dream by Ten
jj: so today i was looking at kiara because she had a piece of lettuce in her hair and she looked at me and said “i have a girlfriend.”
jj: ok lettuce head.
warnings: language, that gif up there, brief alcohol use, dirty talk, smut, 18+
i hope you enjoy this! sorry it’s not as long as the first part :/ & sorry for posting so much haha i hate tumblr. kinda just wanted to make this more about their first time than anything else, but i hope it’s a decent continuation of where we left off. let me know what you think! kissy :)
gif from @unholyimagines
— — —
“y/n, i swear on my life.” melly’s voice filled your room from where your phone was perched on the counter. “i would let him dick me down.”
you snorted, smearing the eyeshadow on the back of your hand with your makeup brush. looking up into the mirror and lifting your hand, you swiped over your eyelid and blended the final touches out. simultaneously, you spoke, “i don’t particularly think woody harrelson is a top choice, but that’s just me.”
“um, haymitch, hello?” she said, exasperated. “who else am i supposed to pick? gale?”
“he’s a war criminal!” you laughed harder, putting down your hand so you wouldn’t make any striking marks on your face. now that you thought about it, you weren’t even sure how this conversation came about. melly had called to get your ETA for tonight when you’d be meeting your friends for drinks. somehow it evolved into talking about an actor’s striking face.
“liam hemsworth though…” she trailed off, just in time for rafe to appear in the doorway.
“we’re leaving soon. i’ll see you there,” you told melly and hung up a second later. you refilled your makeup bag and zipped it close while rafe stayed where he was behind you. you checked yourself in the mirror, smoothing the top you choose for tonight and making sure you felt comfortable. eyes flicking to rafe through the mirror, his arms were crossed over his chest, biceps poking out through his long-sleeve shirt. a smile was tugging at the corners of his lips as his eyes glided up your legs and back until they met yours.
“what?” you questioned curiously, a warmth settling over you just from the sight of him.
“nothing,” he said. a moment later, he pushed off the doorway and came toward you. you turned just in time for his hands to brush against your jaw. “you look gorgeous.”
your train of thought completely derailed as you soaked in his warmth against you and his mouth kissing yours so deeply. he was intoxicating even without his cologne, the one that he knew you liked. you’d been drooling over it—over him, really—for the past month.
woah, you thought when he pulled away. you blinked a few times to get back to reality, your brain stunned. you probably looked it from the way you could feel his breath blowing against your parted lips.
“you ready?” he asked, brushing his thumb along your jaw.
“yeah,” you whispered, not at all sure if you really even spoke. you swallowed and watched rafe as he smiled, dropped his hands to grab ahold of your own, and lead you out of the bathroom.
it’d been study sessions at his apartment, late night phone calls when classes were clogging up your schedule and his lacrosse practices and games, two-minute conversations in the quad between classes, and very spontaneous dates. he was always adamant about getting all of the work done when you studied together, then fooling around, or just kissing. the phone calls were long and moments of your day that you wouldn’t trade for anything; if school wasn’t a priority, you would spend all night talking to him until sunrise. the usual conversation between classes was strictly for figuring out when you could see each other, or it was planning the phone calls. you’d hold his hand while you spoke, your smile wide and your eyes never straying too far from him. and the dates were usually not at all planned, the only one that had been was dinner after a game. he’d taken you out for mexican food and shared chips and salsa while still coming down from the high of the game. the unplanned ones were your favorite, one spent sitting in his car listening to music and talking, and the other spent exploring a town neither of you heard of.
for only having been a month, you were the happiest you’d ever been in a relationship. rafe wasn’t the type to hover if you were upset just so he could get you to talk things out. you’d actually had a conversation one night about your respective boundaries and you told him how you did better with stress when you were left alone to think things through. you’d rambled a bit about a past experience when you’d shut down when a relative pushed you too far when you were upset. but rafe didn’t mind, he asked for you to continue; he gave you proof that he was listening to every word you said. and it made you feel so relieved in that moment, in his car with music playing quietly from the speakers and crickets chirping outside the cracked windows. you swore you’d never met a more understanding male.
when you arrived at the bar, you searched the sea of bodies for melly and lina. even though you’d spent a lot of time with rafe as of late, you still found time for your friends, which you were glad for. you couldn’t imagine orbiting around rafe all the time, as much as you liked him and craved his touch every second.
you pulled your hand from his after giving it a squeeze and set off across the bar toward a booth where they were. rafe’s teammates were out too, having insisted on drinks and pool after their away game today. you unfortunately missed it due to being holed up in your room, typing away on a paper that was becoming more and more muddled. you swore, every time you opened up the document, you second guessed college.
“holy shit,” you said as you closed the distance to the booth. “is that lina?”
“shut up,” the girl groaned, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. “i know it looks weird, but can we please move on?”
“what do you mean? i think it looks great!” you grinned and slid into the booth beside her, bumping her shoulder on the way. despite her tinge of embarrassment, she smiled and reached up to touch the new piercing in her nose.
“i’m pretty sure no one said you looked ugly with it,” melly spoke around her straw, leaning her elbows against the table.
“what? when?” her palms turned upward, her teeth detaching from the red plastic.
a slow grin came onto your face as you glanced back and forth between them. you never got sick of their bickering and you never would.
rafe came up to the table then, carrying a beer and a drink for you. “here you go,” he said and slid it until it was in your hand.
“thank you,” you smiled against the glass as you took a generous sip. you had to bite your lip from breaking out into a shit-eating smile in front of your friends. it warmed you that he’d taken it upon himself to get your favorite drink without asking what it was. it was disgusting, really, how frazzled you became over it.
“hey,” he greeted your two friends, placing a hand on the back of the booth and leaning toward you. you were about to pat the seat beside you when someone shouted his name over the cacophony of voices. you looked over his shoulder and spotted a group of guys, some of them holding the pool sticks in their hands while chatting.
rafe glanced down at you, his eyes searching your face. “i’m going to go play a game. you all right?”
you nodded, “i’ll be here.”
his hand dropped to your shoulder as he leaned down and pecked your lips. you watched as he walked away, your eyes immediately trailing down his body to his ass. inhaling a deep breath, you could still smell his cologne as it lingered and you smiled to yourself.
“damn,” lina whispered beside you. her eyes were in the same direction as yours were and you nudged her arm playfully.
“i’d share him if i was into that.”
she coughed on air and turned with wide eyes at you. “i-i wasn’t! jesus, i wasn’t—oh my god, y/n.”
you laughed as she put her head in her hands, hiding her stained cheeks. melly swirled her straw in her drink, watching as lina tried to crawl into herself.
“how are things going?” melly asked when lina sat up straight again and took a generous gulp of her drink.
“they’re good,” you shrugged, putting it simply without giving too much away. melly wanted the opposite, which you should have known.
“no, unacceptable,” she shook her head and folded her hands on the table. “we need more than that. this is rafe cameron we’re talking about.”
a laugh shook your shoulders and you bit down on your tongue. your drink suddenly became very interesting as you felt yourself start to blush. images of you and rafe flashed in your head and you absently crossed your legs under the table. “he’s a great kisser.”
lina let out a groan and covered her face once more. “oh my god.”
it was still entertaining to you how obsessed your friends were with rafe. a little less now that you were dating him, but it made you laugh when you thought about how they used to be.
melly waved lina off. “she’s touch starved, ignore her. i’m sure he’s good at other things, huh?”
you grinned and looked in a different direction while sipping from your drink.
“oh god, no answer? i’m right, aren’t i? please, please, tell me i’m fucking right.”
“do not tell us,” lina warned once she recovered. “actually, let’s stop talking about this, yeah? this feels weird now that y/n is dating him.”
lina looked pointedly at melly, her eyes begging and insistent.
“no, it’s not. it’s a mandated conversation about our relationships. every person has this conversation, lina. why don’t you tell us—“
“well, this is torture for me, so i’m going to get another drink,” she said, shuffling closer to you so she could get out. “oh, look! topper’s here.”
you stood and let her out, sitting again and watching as she disappeared between patrons.
“fancy that,” melly shook her head, bringing the straw to her lips as she watched after lina. “she’s got it bad.”
“no!” your eyes flew to topper in the crowd, then to lina’s retreating back, then finally to melly. “you’re kidding. when did that happen?”
“it’s been happening since forever, she just refuses to admit it. all those long nights at study group,” she drawled. “topper is a good one though.”
you hummed in agreement as your eyes found your friends again. a grin smacked onto topper’s face when he saw lina and not long after, his arms wrapped around her. you’d have to mention it to rafe later.
as drinks came and went, and you took two trips to the bathroom, you delved into a little game of pool. you had to beg melly to play after dancing. you didn’t mind being her partner, especially when a popular song came on and you’d stared at her in bubbling excitement and shouted the lyrics at the top of your lungs.
one game turned into two then it was back to dancing and sweating to the point that you’d resorted to holding your hair up out of your face. it truly was trying times when you didn’t have a hair tie.
it was just after ten as you slid your phone back in your pocket and ordered another drink. one of the guys on rafe’s team opened a tab for everyone in your group, which was surprising to you, but you were fully taking advantage of it. if worst came to worst, you pay him back.
thanking the bartender, you headed back to the pool tables. you’d carved a spot out for yourself right in the corner, lina talking animatedly to topper. now that you’d seen them together firsthand, you couldn’t help but think that they’d be cute together.
smiling to yourself, you took a sip and let your eyes wander over to the booth across the room. the other half of the large group was seated there and as you sneaked a peek of rafe sitting and drinking his beer, you felt a rush of warmth swallow you. all he was doing was sitting and talking with his friends, but he looked good. maybe it was the drinks you’d consumed causing you to think that way, but—no. if you were sober, you’d be thinking the exact same thing and probably feeling the same way. rafe gave you shivers without even looking at you and the sensation burning a hole in your lower stomach was evidence enough of how badly you wanted him.
it wasn’t even physical, per se. you wanted him in every possible way. you wanted him to look at you and smile and think you were his greatest choice, his greatest priority. fuck, he was your greatest choice.
christ, maybe it is the alcohol.
having rafe physically should’ve scared you for being such a huge moment in a relationship, but it didn’t. which was funny because if you’d been the same you that you were when you popped the “what are we?” question, you’d be just as terrified. but having known him for such a short amount of time, you wanted it all. you wanted him in you; you wanted him under your skin, clouding your senses—like now.
you weren’t sure when your throat dried out or when rafe caught you staring, but you played it cool as you took a sip and straightened your back. the world, or at least the room, seemed to slow down as you cocked your head to the side, contemplating the way you were starting to sweat. did he know? could he tell what you’d been thinking? was it possible for him to tell that you’d been looking him up and down with a dry mouth?
the cue ball cracked as you watched rafe stand and say something to his friends. he gripped his beer in his hand, his gaze locked on yours and his eyes devouring you whole. your thighs squeezed together instinctively and you looked away from him to catch your breath, not at all having a clue what to say, or what he was going to say, when he got to you. when had topper and lina left? their stools were empty as you stood there alone, your fingers slipping over the moisture on your glass. rafe was ten feet away now and you stopped your shit real fast before you made a fool of yourself.
his sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, showing off firm muscle. mission abort.
“you look awfully lonely over here,” he said, his hand appearing at your waist and stoking the fire already making its way up your legs.
“i have a proposition for you,” you said without preamble.
“yeah?” he spoke lowly, setting his beer down beside your drink. you stepped closer to him until your stomachs pressed together. he was watching you while he waited and it made you smile like an idiot.
he brushed a stray hair out of your face before clasping his hands behind you. then his eyebrow raised.
“are you going to tell me what it is?”
you shrugged a shoulder, very nonchalant just to mess with him. “i was thinking i’d make you earn it, but i don’t want to keep it in.”
“tell me,” he said and glanced at your mouth.
you made a show of sucking your lip between your teeth, then leaned onto your toes toward his ear. your hands slid up his arms, squeezing at his biceps as you said, “i want you inside me tonight.”
“oh, fuck,” he muttered and tightened his arms.
you laughed lightly and held him too, hugging him around the shoulders and grinning. you spotted your friends by the booth, oblivious like everyone else in the bar to your conversation.
“does that sound like something you want to do?” you wondered aloud, your smile not faltering even if that question brought uncertain thoughts.
“are you kidding?” he pulled away, holding your hips steady. “of-fucking-course i want that.”
as if his statement wasn’t evidence enough, he slammed his lips onto yours a second later, his tongue eager and addictive. you moaned quietly, still very aware you weren’t alone, and tried to melt your body into his. you kissed him back just as hungrily, losing your breath fast.
he was so good at this; making you fucking mush and a blazing fire simultaneously. curling your toes and making your vagina grip on nothing.
you were panting lightly when he pulled his tongue out of your mouth and looked right at you. “i want that,” he repeated.
“okay,” you nodded, albeit a little shakily, but with confidence in his choice.
“do you want to leave now?”
as much as that sounded like a fucking splendid idea, you wanted to drag this out. you wanted to see how he’d react, what he’d do.
you shook your head and gave him a firm kiss. “let’s hang out for a bit longer.”
he groaned, tugging you so tight against him that you could feel his lungs move. “give me a minute, my dick is hard.”
you laughed, pecking his cheek.
— — —
was it torture? yes. was it entertaining? yes. was it making your blood boil? fucking. yes. all of these were obviously questions pertaining to your current seat on your boyfriend’s lap with his very much erect penis. you couldn’t stop yourself from biting the inside of your lip as you sat ram-rod straight in rafe’s lap.
he had pulled you down over him once you got back to the booth after borderline tonsil hockey with him by the pool tables. you couldn’t squirm otherwise you’d be dragging him out of the bar, but it was accidental when you shifted a couple times. it surprised you how long both of you went without booking it out the front door and hauling ass. by the time one of the guys shouted for more drinks as it neared midnight, you knew you’d waited long enough. and if you didn’t leave now with how overstimulated you were, it would be a disaster.
getting back to rafe’s apartment was a blur and you were panting as your fingers tugged at his hair. he sucked on your tongue in his mouth and gripped your hips to pull them flush against his.
“holy fuck, i’m so hard for you,” he said, sliding his hand up your back.
you pulled away just as you made a noise from the back of your throat. your heart was beating wildly in your chest and you made a mental note of where you were in rafe’s room, one of your shoes lost on the stairs outside his door. you kicked off the other and grabbed two fistfuls of rafe’s shirt.
“what do you want?” rafe asked just as you were about to ask him the same thing.
this was all new to you. well, he was. and you knew that with new partners came new preferences. you hadn’t discovered much about what he liked besides being in control, which you had no problem with even if you wondered what it would be like if the roles were reversed. but you hadn’t done this with rafe yet and there would be other times to test your theories out.
it was alluring hearing that question fall from his lips and you looked up at him just as he came back to your mouth, completely devouring it as he held your head still. with a racing heart and desire coursing through your veins, you had an answer.
“you can do whatever you want to me.”
and you meant it. he could do whatever the fuck he liked. as long as he fucked you good, you were up for anything.
“i want it to be good for you,” he said, brushing your hair away from your neck and closing his mouth around a few spots that he knew drove you a little crazy.
“come on, talk to me. tell me you want me inside you again like at the bar.”
you also knew that he liked dirty talk. he was pretty vocal and the words from when he first touched you still rang in your ears, especially during moments when you should’ve been thinking about anything else. it sent shivers down your spine and if he asked you again to say it, you’d jump his bones.
“take my shirt off,” you said, letting your hands wander down his arms.
grasping the hem of the fabric at your waist, rafe did exactly that and let it fall to the carpet. you pulled his shirt off next and dropped it over yours at your feet. you ran your fingers along his sides, basking in the dips and highs of his chest and stomach. a few kisses pressed here and there and you were nearly a goner if he hadn’t unclasped your bra and pulled the straps down your arms. you slid out of it the rest of the way and watched his eyes travel over you, cheeks turning a deep pink, his hands soon joining to brush along your waist.
“you’re blushing,” you grinned, giving a slight shake of your head to get the hair out of your eyes.
rafe licked his lips before looking up, his eyes hooded, his thumbs running along the underside of your breast.
“will you put your mouth on me?” you asked.
his lips parted on a quiet breath and as he started to bend, keeping his eyes on yours, you sucked your bottom lip between your teeth.
“like this?” his breath had your nipples tightening and your back arching just the slightest. it bowed even more as he grasped you and flicked the tip of his tongue over your nipple.
“yes,” you moaned as you watched him for a few moments then closed your eyes.
the muscles in your shoulders and thighs shook as rafe’s hand wandered and ended up cupping you over your underwear. you straddled his naked waist on the edge of his bed, still feeling the prominent aftershocks of having seen him clearly for the first time. it was ridiculous to say, but your mouth watered. plain and simple—it watered.
“please tell me you have a condom,” you said against his cheek, your hand closing around him.
he sucked in a breath and gripped your hip. “yeah, yeah, i have one.”
“i promise i’ll put you in my mouth later, i just really need you inside me right now.”
you couldn’t decipher the curse he said before he pulled your lips to his. he didn’t say anything else when he went to his dresser and fished out a foil packet. plopping down on your back and getting comfortable against his pillows, you couldn’t help but drink up the sight of his muscles moving in his legs as he came back to you.
“what?” you smiled up at him.
“nothing, it’s just…when you look at me like that, i—i don’t want you to ever stop.”
your smile turned into a grin and you lifted yourself up on a hand, taking the packet from his fingers and pressing a gentle kiss on his hipbone.
“don’t do that,” he flinched, backing an inch.
“why’s that?” you asked innocently, batting your lashes up at him as you opened the packet. he sucked in a breath, letting you tug him closer to roll the condom on. you did it slowly, watching as his eyes struggled to stay open.
“come here,” you tugged on his arm, pulling him closer. “touch me a little before you—“
his warm mouth closed over yours before you could finish your sentence and his fingers appeared right where you wanted them.
“how do you want it?” he asked in between kisses, moving to your neck while his fingers brushed over your clit. “on all fours?”
you exhaled deeply and let your head fall back, feeling everything that he was doing to you while listening to his words. how was he so good at this?
“in my lap so you can ride me?”
it was tempting and you saw flashes behind your eyelids of your hips moving over rafe’s while he held onto you tightly.
“on your stomach, just letting me pound into you?” his voice went lower as his teeth scraped your jaw. “or on your back so i can spread you open?”
you bit your lip to hold in the gasp, a cataclysmic shudder rolling over your body like a freight train rattling windows.
“yeah, i knew you would,” he nuzzled his face into your neck. “i want that too—you spread open for me.”
in an instant, rafe had you on your back with your legs open as he settled between them. he seemed so much bigger as he held himself up. you tried slowing your breathing, getting way too excited (if that was possible) from the view and his words. you kissed him deeply before he pulled back to guide himself toward you, checking to make sure you were ready.
his forearms were practically made for gripping, which was proven when he slid inside and you pulsed around him. you dug your nails into the skin as his breath blew over you.
“you’re so warm and tight,” he sighed as his head fell forward and his eyes shut. he wasn’t moving yet, which you could kiss him for as you felt yourself adjusting around him.
“how do i feel? are you okay?”
you nodded fast, anticipation gushing for him to move. “i’m okay. i need you to move.”
he started off steady to get you used to him. once your moans started picking up in frequency and pitch, it egged him on to move faster. you kept a grip on one arm while your other hand lay flat on his stomach, feeling the muscles stretch and bunch with each thrust.
“rafe, harder, please. you feel so good.”
he was even more attractive as he fucked you harder. his eyebrows fused together in concentration, his lips parted with his breaths, his jaw flexed as he tried to hold himself back. you squeezed around him as you felt teeth nip at your breast, the other moving in time with rafe’s thrusts. he groaned against you, nipple in his mouth, hand clamped on the back of your knee to open you wider. you stretched and felt a bit of pain from the position, but it quickly dissipated as you focused on your hips smacking together.
you could see the end right around the corner, but it was much too soon for you. you didn’t want this to end, you didn’t want to feel that empty feeling when rafe left you. you didn’t want his skin to separate from yours.
“you’re gripping me so tight, y/n. let go.” rafe gave your thigh a squeeze, pushing down on it as he watched where your bodies met.
you shook your head with a pained whine, close to tears. “i can’t, not yet.”
“it’s okay, i’ve got you. come for me.” he let go of your leg, not before bringing it around his hip and coaxing you to hang on. “i wanna see you touch yourself.”
your skin was on fire and your brain felt completely detached from your body as you slid your hand down your stomach. you picked your head up right when you brushed your clit, tightening around rafe even more. his forehead came to rest against yours, his hooded eyes downcast to watch your hand. the timing of his thrusts and the circles you were drawing over yourself had you unraveling quickly. plus, the act of you and rafe both watching had your eyes rolling into the back of your head when it finally hit. your arm squeezed around his neck while your legs twined together around his waist.
“oh my god,” you moaned loudly, glad that topper was still at the bar and that you could be as loud as you wanted to be with rafe.
as your spasms and flinches calmed, rafe held himself high above you and gave a last few hard thrusts that would have you wet all over again if you weren’t already. his grunts had you trying to close your legs more around him, the sounds absolute music to your ears. his face bunched up and his mouth dropped open as he came, cursing your name for making him feel so good. you bit back the grin as he stilled, spilling into the condom and flinching in his arms. you pulled him down by the shoulders, welcoming his heavy breath as it poured into your mouth.
“oh, fuck, y/n.”
— — —
“what about this one?”
“lacrosse. an accident between me and a teammate’s stick.”
you hummed with a tired smile, brushing your thumb over rafe’s knuckle on his middle finger. both of you rested on your backs, his head cradled on your chest. you’d been twiddling with his fingers for minutes now and was curious to find a scar on his finger that you hadn’t seen before.
“hmm,” you brought his hand to your cheek and nuzzled against it. turning into it, you pressed your lips against his palm. he slipped it from you a second later and lifted up onto his elbow. his hair was in disarray, and you brushed it off his forehead now, smiling wide at his appearance. you felt completely content—which you blamed entirely on the sex.
he sent a handsome smile back, leaning down toward you as your head lay on his pillow. he pressed a soft kiss to your lips the ventured toward your cheek, all the way down your neck. the fingers you’d been examining now tugged at the comforter over your still-bare chest and you giggled girlishly as he exposed your breasts to the cool air in his room. your heart squeezed like it was trapped in a fist—maybe rafe’s—as he kissed the underside of your boob, starting there and moving around.
“round four?” you teased, brushing the hairs at the back of his head as you watched the top of it. “you’re not tired?”
“mmm, nope. are you?” looking up, he was the epitome of confused puppy.
the corners of your lips turned up and you breathed deeply, sliding your hand to stroke his cheek. “slow and gentle?”
rafe grinned, showing off the way his eyes minimized when he was really, truly happy—a smile you’d had the privilege of seeing lately. he shuffled closer, eyeing your lips as he came closer once again. “slow and gentle.”
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“I’m not the bad guy in your story Kiara,” Rafe mummers. “Stop trying to make me one.”
There’s a plea in his words, a hidden message. Please don’t make me a bad guy.
The crease between her brows is back, “But you are Rafe. Can’t you see that?”
Bad Habit Chapter 3
Please mind the tags on AO3!
a/n: okay hi this one is all over the place but it's the best i can make it so if you hate it im sorry. next part will be up monday 9/20 ! (not my gif)
Summary: You choose to do what you think is best for Rafe. Even if it isn't.
Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, mentions of drugs, violence (kinda? just a shove) Kiara being a bitch and Topper being an asshole
Word Count: 6.2k
You can't stop staring at the Instagram post Rafe made from the party. He posted pictures last night after you fell asleep in his bed, and is now snoozing comfortably beside you as you hold back the impulse to cry. The first one is a photo Sarah snapped of the two of you, both smiling and happy with Rafe's hand tucked dangerously low on your back. The second is a selfie you took of the two of you in Rafe's truck, Rafe had flipped off the camera and grumbled, but leaned over and attacked your cheek with kisses at the last second. The third is a picture of just you, cheesy smile plastered across your face underneath the string lights.
The caption makes you want to cry the most, because you know Rafe is new to all of this 'relationship' stuff and is only acting on how he really feels.
Next time she looks this good will be our wedding.
You eyes fill with tears, again, as you glance over at him sleeping. He's facing you, arm tucked under his head, bare chest poking out from under the covers. His mouth is parted slightly and every so often, he lets out a little snore. You take a picture of him, because you just can't help it, then set your phone down and snuggle close to him as best you can.
Even in his sleep, it seems Rafe can sense you. He moves flat on his back and moves his arm up to the pillows, opening up a perfectly sized gap for you to lay in. You cuddle your face into the crook of his neck and leave a kiss there, because his skin is so warm and inviting and you love him too much not to. You've been so sure that he's asleep that his voice makes you jump.
"You better be trying to get me hard, otherwise we're gonna have a problem."
You pull your head back and look at him, finding his eyes to still be closed and how, if he hadn't just spoken, you'd think he was still asleep. He brings his arm around to your back, brushing his fingertips against you.
"Good morning, Mr. Cameron," you tease him, leaving a kiss on his bare chest. He tries to pull his smile down by biting his cheek, but you still see it. He still hasn't opened his eyes.
"You have to stop with that," he mumbles.
"I will if you open your eyes," you say, resting your chin on his chest as you crawl completely on top of him. He smiles again, but doesn't obey just yet.
"I would like to sleep some more, pretty girl."
"Fine," you sigh, "I guess I'll just have to shower by myself. Might even have to look at those pictures I have of you from the golf course if I need to-"
"You're not getting yourself off to a picture of me when I'm right here," he grunts.
You giggle when he tries to reach for you and you pull back, making him groan. You know he's teasing you now by not opening up his eyes, so you change your approach. You lean back down and kiss along his jawline, moving his chin up so you have more skin to work with on his neck. He moans very softly, but you hear it.
"Open up those eyes for me, handsome," you whisper against his skin, "We can do anything you want. Just want to see those pretty blue eyes I love so much."
Rafe grins and pulls you back, making you smile as you watch his eyes flutter open. Your laugh is victorious as you lean over and give him a kiss.
"Only because you love them," he smiles, "I'm a sucker, apparently."
"I already knew that," you tease him.
He just shakes his head, running his hands up and down the length of your thighs as you straddle his chest. He looks up at you and grins, unable to believe he gets to wake up to you like this.
"So," you start again, running the base of your fingers along his chest, "We're getting married?"
Rafe looks up at you in confusion, and when he realizes you're referring to his Instagram post, his cheeks flush red. You giggle, loving the effect you have on him.
"I hope so," he replies, voice more serious than yours had been. You bite your lip as you look down at him, watching as he stares at you relentlessly.
You know anyone outside the two of you would think this conversation is crazy; crazy that you two would even be discussing a wedding after such a short amount of time. However, you see no problem in daydreaming about it with Rafe. It's not like it's hurting anyone.
You lean down and give him one more quick kiss, "All right, go back to sleep. I'm gonna go start some coffee."
"Some for me, please," he says as you slide off of him.
Rafe repositions himself under the blankets while you slide on his boxers and then grab a shirt out of his dresser. You walk past all the clothes on the floor you two had shed off last night, your beautiful dress now wrapped up in Rafe's jacket and pants on the floor.
You walk down the stairs, trying to be as quiet as you can and hoping nobody else is awake. Once you reach the kitchen, you exhale a sigh of relief at not having to make small talk with anyone while you make coffee. After how embarrassed you were about Kiara and the fact that Ward knew about you and Rafe fucking in the bathroom, you're not sure you can ever face him again.
You step over to the sink to fill the coffee pot with water when you hear a knock on the glass doors off the kitchen. You look up to see Topper, who looks very hung over and very annoyed to be seeing you. You frown and set the coffee pot in the sink, then step over to let Topper in the house.
"Hey," you greet when you pull the door open, "You feeling okay?"
"Little hungover," he replies, stepping in the house.
"Yeah, I'm surprised Rafe's not," you reply, "Coffee?"
"Uh, no," Topper shakes his head, "Yeah, he's probably not hung over because he spent the whole night running around with you."
Your head snaps up from the coffee pot filling in the sink as you wonder what Topper's really trying to say. The hint of attitude in his voice is enough to tell you something's there.
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing, just an observation," Topper shrugs.
You frown, choosing not to respond. You turn your back to him and step to the coffee machine, pouring the water inside.
"So, was it your idea for him to bail on golf this morning?"
You take a deep breath and finish what you're doing before you turn to Topper again. He's staring at you, looking much different than the way he had looked at you last night.
"I didn't know he even had plans to golf this morning, Topper."
Topper chuckles, but something about it seems sarcastic, "Oh, okay. I just thought he told you everything."
"Look, if you're just hungover and grumpy-"
"I'm not just anything," he interrupts you, "I'm annoyed that my best friend has completely switched up on me over some girl he fucks. I mean, come on, Y/N, you have to realize this is just another fling to him. He says he's trying to get clean, he says he's trying to get better, but once that ship sails without him, and he's left in the dust, you're the first thing he's gonna bail out on. He'll run back to the coke and the parties and the girls-"
"You're wrong, Topper," you shake your head, crossing your arms, "It's different now."
"Yeah?" he laughs again, "Did he tell you about how he slept on my couch almost every day for the past few months because he was too coked out to even function? Or about all the girls he fucked in my bed?"
"Exactly," Topper says triumphantly, "So you're telling me you honestly think that when he falls flat on his face with this job or getting clean, that he's not gonna run right back to all of that? And which one of us will be there when he does?"
"If you're suggesting that I would leave him just because he was struggling-" you start, but Topper shakes his head and holds his hand up to stop you.
"You did it once before, Y/N. That's how he got so bad. I'm just trying to protect him here. You can make me out to be the bad guy all you want, but-"
"Baby? You down here?"
You glance up at Topper at the sound of Rafe's voice. He gives you a patronizing shrug of the shoulders.
"Just put him first, Y/N. It's what you do when you love someone," Topper mutters, then stands from his chair.
Rafe enters the kitchen before you can tell Topper he doesn't know shit about what happened to the two of you last time. Rafe looks at you, then over to Topper, trying to figure out what's going on.
"Hey, man," Topper looks to Rafe, smiling and pretending like everything's fine.
You turn back to the coffee machine, which is almost finished. Thank God. You pull one mug from the cabinet, deciding it will be for Rafe and you will be leaving.
"Yo, Top," Rafe steps over, dapping Topper up.
"You never showed at the course this morning, bro. Got worried."
Rafe lets out a groan and steps over to you, his back to Topper, and sets his hands on your hips. He leans around and gives you a kiss on the cheek. You don't react, but you don't pull away, either. You just reach for the coffee pot and start pouring.
"Yeah, sorry about that," Rafe turns back to his friend, "Didn't really feel like getting up and out after last night. I kinda figured you'd bail, too."
"Nah. I don't bail on you and Kelce."
"Well, not now that you and Sarah are broken up."
You scoff, wondering how Topper turned into such a massive hypocrite. You credit it to the fact that he must be bitter about his breakup, which is why he's taking it out on you.
Rafe turns to you right as you turn around to the boys, then hold the mug out for Rafe to take. He accepts it and holds his arm out for you, but you shake your head.
"I think I'm gonna head out," you announce, ignoring the smirk on Topper's face.
"What? Why?" Rafe asks, furrowing his eyebrows.
"I promised Macy I'd help her with some things," you lie, allowing yourself to send Topper a look. He just grins and nods his head, telling you he approves of your fib.
Rafe could tell something had been off when he entered the kitchen, and he knows you have no plans today because he had asked you last night before you fell asleep. You just shrug, then step toward him and kiss him on the cheek.
"I'll talk to you later," you say quietly.
He shakes his head and grabs your hand to tug you back, "Answer me."
You swallow and then sigh, glancing down at his fingers wrapped around your wrist.
"Chores, Rafe. She has a bunch to do and I kinda owe her, so I promised I would help her."
You hate lying to him, but you hate the smug look on Topper's face more. You really don't want to have the conversation with Rafe about what Topper said to you, so you instantly decide to keep it under lock and key. No matter what. Rafe doesn't need to know that someone he loves doesn't believe he can get and stay clean.
"Sweet," Topper speaks up before Rafe can, "That means we can go to the course. I had them move our tee time back."
Rafe ignores Topper completely, staring at you to try and figure out what the hell changed in such a short amount of time.
"I'll talk to you later," you repeat, tugging on your wrist.
"Baby," he groans, but releases you at your wish.
You give him a small smile and another kiss, then turn and head upstairs to grab your stuff. You wait until you hear Rafe ask Topper what time the tee time is to start crying. You collect your stuff, not bothering to change out of Rafe's clothes, and leave your dress on his floor. You really just want to get home where you can totally cry without risking it.
You knew Rafe had gotten himself into trouble while you two were apart, but you never knew it was that bad. And you certainly didn't want to hear about Rafe fucking different girls every night because he was too high to process it.
Quickly, you make it down the stairs and out the door before Rafe can notice. You realize walking out of Figure Eight in boxers and a random t-shirt isn't exactly the best move, but it's all you have. About five minutes into your walk, your phone buzzes.
Rafe: I was going to drive you home. I'll come pick you up, I don't want you walking all the way back to the Cut.
You sigh, feeling another tear slip from your eye before you can even think about it. You know you're being dramatic, but you can't stop thinking about how bad he must've been.
I'm fine. I can handle it. Have fun golfing.
Rafe: Call me when you get home. Be careful, please. Did Top say something to upset you?
No, he didn't. I'll be busy when I get home. We'll talk later tonight.
Rafe: Fine. Love you.
You don't reply. You want to, but Topper's words swim around your head. You can't help but wonder if he really will leave you if things start to go south for him. The fact heaviest on your mind right now is that you simply don't know - because you hadn't been around for the past few months. You'd been missing him, of course, but you had avoided everything that had to do with him.
The entire conversation is on replay in your head for the rest of the day.
You do the dishes.
You're the first thing he's gonna bail out on.
You clean your room.
Did he tell you about all the girls he fucked in my bed?
You vacuum the house.
Just put him first. It's what you do when you love someone.
You yell out in frustration, feeling the tears well up in your eyes once again. Your phone had been going off earlier with texts from Rafe, so you had shut it off completely. He sent you a picture of him on the golf course, asked what you were up to, and informed you he'd be at the Club for dinner if you needed anything.
You slam your bedroom door and lay down in your bed, curling up in the sheets that Rafe had been under not two nights ago. It's dark now, so you know he's probably home from the Club. Or not, considering how clingy Topper had seemed earlier. You sniffle and finally feel in control of your emotions for the first time since you woke up this morning. Even though it's early, you can feel yourself growing tired.
There's a rapid knock on your bedroom door only half a second before it's pulled open, revealing your boyfriend. You sit up straight now, all hint of sleep gone. He's still wearing his golf shirt and shorts, a hat backwards on his head.
"Your dad, uh, let me in," he says awkwardly, stepping into your dark bedroom, "Glad to see you're still alive."
He closes your door and flips on the light, getting a good look at your emotional ass. You watch his expression fall as he takes you in, but you just shake your head.
"I was just about to go to bed."
Rafe takes a hesitant step toward you, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around you and ask you what the hell is going on. You look him in the eyes, noting how they look bloodshot to you.
"We were about to go to bed," he corrects.
You shake your head again, "I don't think you should sleep here tonight, Rafe."
His heart sinks in his chest at your words, but he walks over to your bed anyway. You instinctively move away, cuddling yourself into the furthest corner of your bed.
"What the fuck is going on with you?" he finally asks, having wanted to since he walked in. He starts to pace your bedroom, shaking his head and mumbling slightly to himself.
He turns to look at you again and you stop breathing. His eyes are red. Bloodshot. He can't stand still. You gasp and stand up from your bed quickly, staring at him like he just hurt you.
"Rafe," you hiss, "Tell me you did not get high with Topper."
Rafe laughs sarcastically, then brings his hand up to scratch the back of his neck. You set your hands on your hips and stare at him with your eyebrows raised, waiting on his answer.
"It was just a little bit," he admits, "I'm not even high."
You scoff, "Yeah? Tell your eyes."
"What the fuck was I supposed to do?" he raises his voice now, letting his emotions carry his response, "You weren't answering your phone, you left me this morning all weird, and Topper had a little coke-"
"That doesn't mean you have to do it!" you yell back, "And what the fuck is Topper doing giving you coke when he knows you're trying to stay clean?"
Rafe inhales deeply, trying to stop himself from screaming at you when he knows your parents are downstairs.
"You know," he starts after a minute, "I am old enough to know what I should and shouldn't do."
You shake your head, laughing again, "Your behavior the past few months could've fooled me."
He steps back with a hurt expression, like you've stung him. You cross your arms over your chest, trying your best to steady your breathing.
"I have done everything I can to try and show you I'm getting better," he states, his voice anxious and shaky, "Okay, yeah, I made a bad judgment call today with Topper. I fucked up. But, I was anxious because you weren't responding to me and I just... needed something to take the edge off."
You sigh and then open your mouth to speak, but Rafe's getting himself worked up and speaks again before you can.
"Don't turn all this shit around on me, though. You've been acting weird since this morning and I think I know why."
Your eyes flicker up to him, and he watches as you swallow, "Rafe-"
"Look, that Instagram post was just supposed to be, like, a cute thing. I didn't mean to freak you out or whatever. I changed the caption, so. I'm sorry."
Your face falls and your heart sinks. You loved that caption. And he changed it. You want to speak, but you can't find the right words. You just sink down onto your bed again, watching Rafe move quietly around your room.
"I think you should leave, Rafe."
His head shoots over to you, trying to figure out if you really mean it or not. He shakes his head when he sees your expression.
"No, baby-" he stops, stepping toward you but stopping when you hold your hand up.
"I loved that caption," you admit, knowing that's totally not the point right now, "Go home."
You lay down on your bed and turn your back to him, waiting to hear your bedroom door open and shut so you could cry again. You hear Rafe exhale, then sniffle a bit, then exhale again.
"Tell me what he said to you."
You don't move a muscle, but your eyes flutter closed. Of course he knows, because he knows you.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Rafe steps forward and grabs your shoulder, laying you flat on your back so you can stare up at him. One look at you and he knows you're lying.
"Please don't play fucking stupid with me. Tell me what Topper said to upset you."
You can tell he's starting to get angry, but you swore to yourself you'd never tell him about it. It would hurt him too much.
Just put him first. It's what you do when you love someone.
"He didn't say anything," you lie.
Rafe laughs loudly, then stands up and runs his hands through his hair. You can tell he's pissed off.
"I'm gonna fucking kill him," he mutters.
"Don't lie to me!" he yells at you, "I mean, holy shit, I do one fucking line and you act like it's the end of the world, but you lie to me, and it's just supposed to be fine?"
"I'm not lying!" you yell back at him, watching as he throws his hands out from his sides.
"Yeah? Tell your face," he quotes you from earlier.
You groan and lay back down, covering your face with the sleeves of your sweatshirt. Rafe sighs as well, but his sounds more annoyed and yours sounds more stressed. You really have no idea what to say, how to make it better, how to express that you don't want to ruin him again. You don't want him to end up that way, but you also don't want him to think you don't believe in him.
"You know what?" Rafe sighs again, "I'm gonna leave. Let you figure your shit out. I'll just come back when you've gotten a grip."
He doesn't wait for your response or even bother to look at you before he turns away and steps toward the door. You note for the first time that he's wearing a red collared shirt. Probably just for you. You wait until his hand is on your doorknob to speak.
"Maybe you shouldn't."
Rafe freezes, then turns around. He doesn't dare meet your eyes, as he's sure they'll confirm his biggest fear.
"What?" he plays dumb, "Leave?"
"No," you sigh, sitting up again, "Maybe you shouldn't come back."
He'll run back to the coke and the parties and the girls.
You can't put yourself through the heartbreak of losing Rafe Cameron. Again. And if Topper's right, you'll get hurt. As much as you hate to admit it, Topper knows Rafe better than almost anyone. As much as you love Rafe, as much as you want Rafe, you want Rafe to be healthy more.
"Baby girl," his voice cracks, "You don't mean that."
"Yes, I do."
You stand up from the bed, ready to beg him not to run back to the drugs. Or the parties. Or the girls. You want him to pull himself together, apply to schools like he had told you about, and work hard for his dad. And you worry he can't do all that if he's busy running around with you. Just as Topper had so lovingly pointed out, Rafe missed all the fun at the party because he'd been with you.
"Baby, please," his eyes are welling up fast, and you have to look away, "If this is about the coke, I swear-"
"-to God, I'm done with that shit. I'll never touch it again. I promise you. And if it's about Topper, just tell me what he said to you. Please."
He walks over to you and pulls your chin up to look at him, knowing in your eyes that there's something there. But you know the hurt will only get worse if he knows the truth - if he knows that Topper doesn't believe he can get clean or hold down his job.
"I just think we're moving too fast," you say, moving from his grip, "It's only been a little over a week, Rafe. And we're already, like, crazy serious-"
"We've never been a normal couple!" he says, raising his voice once more, "We both knew that going in, don't act like that's some new shit."
"I cheated on JJ!" you scream, finally allowing some real, true emotion to come out, "I fucking cheated on him, Rafe. That's not okay with me. That's not who I am. And now, I'm practically married, I've got your clothes in my closet-"
"Since when does that bother you?" Rafe yells back, "I brought them here for you! Because you like to pick out my shirts!"
"It's too much," you tell him, "It's too much too soon and I just need some time."
"Time," Rafe repeats, as if the word is unfamiliar to him.
You nod and sit down on your bed again, only glancing and seeing tears fall from his eyes.
"Time away from me," he nods, still processing.
Silently, Rafe steps to your closet and pulls out the hangars with his collared shirts on them, tucking them around his arm. He turns to you then, walking over and gently tilting your chin up to look at him.
"I am not going to apologize to you for telling you I love you so quickly. I love you with all my heart. So, I'm keeping my promise to you. And I'll be over on my side of the island while you take your time, and when you're ready, baby, we're going to be okay."
You shut your eyes, unaware you had been welling up with tears until they fall freely down your cheeks. Rafe leans down and presses his lips to your cheek, kissing the water away. He lets go and steps away after a moment, soaking in one last look before he turns around.
"Rafe," you choke out.
He turns around, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. You smile gently at him, then wipe away another tear.
"I believe in you. You can get clean."
He nods his head, "I will get clean."
You take a deep breath, letting his words flow through your body. He turns around and slips out of your room before you know it, and that's when you really lose it. Your sweet boy, Rafe Cameron, took his shirts you love so much and left you. You know you had to make it believable, so you brought up the shirts, but the truth is, you love looking at them every morning when you get dressed. You love picking one out for him.
You love him.
But you know he has to get clean. You wipe your tears and change your shirt, then head out of your room. You ask your mom for her car keys, which you never do, so she knows you mean business. She asks you where you're going if Rafe just left, and you just tell her you'll be back later.
You've only been to Topper Thorton's house once. It was back when you and Rafe were still fucking around, you had shown up to a party per Rafe's request, even though he didn't want the two of you to go together. You're only fairly confident that you remember where it is, which is why you smile triumphantly when you spot the house from the road.
You're out of the car and knocking on the front door before you can even think twice. You could kill him, you really think you could.
A woman pulls open the door, not even bothering to pretend to be polite.
"May I help you?"
"Hi," you say awkwardly, comparing her beautiful dress and pearls to your leggings and ratty old shirt that you're actually pretty sure is JJ's, "I'm here to see Topper."
She smirks, "I knew he'd find another girl after Sarah Cameron."
Your mouth falls open and you instantly try to explain to her who you are, but she just turns around and calls for him. She doesn't bother to invite you in. You hear Topper approach and thank his mother, then watch a smirk appear on his lips when he sees you.
"Phone working yet?"
You have to tell yourself not to smack him across the face. You really could hit that pretty boy smirk right off. You glance around him into the house to make sure his mother is gone before you shove Topper back roughly.
"Giving him a line, Topper? Really?"
Topper looks shocked as he recovers, stepping back over to the door. He laughs as he processes what just happened.
"Hey, he wanted it," Topper shrugs, "He always does."
"You're a fucking prick," you spit.
Topper shrugs, "At least I didn't blow him off all day and then break up with him."
"He told you?" you gasp. Topper laughs louder now, which only pisses you off more.
"He tells me everything, Y/N. Look, I'm sorry if I hurt your precious feelings this morning. I'm just looking out for both of your best interests-"
"If you were looking out for Rafe's best interest, you wouldn't have given him coke today. Or any day, for that matter."
Topper shrugs again, "Our opinions differ on how to take care of him."
You groan and step off the porch, realizing you're getting nowhere with him. He leans up against the doorframe as he watches you debate what to say next.
"He's gonna get clean, Topper. Don't fuck this up for him."
Your blood is boiling as you stare at him, not understanding why he wants Rafe to fail so badly. You roll your eyes and turn your back on him, ready to walk away from him and this conversation.
"You realize he's gonna be knee deep in coke tomorrow, now that you broke up with him."
You turn around, using this opportunity to smirk at him, "I wouldn't put money down on that one."
Topper just shakes his head and then flips off the porch light on you just to prove he's a dick. But you don't care. Because the difference between you and Topper is that you have faith in Rafe Cameron.
You cry in the car for a while. Getting it all out before you have to go home sounds like a good idea. You feel it all. You feel like you're breaking in half not having felt Rafe since this morning. Last night at the party seems like a million miles away from where you sit now.
When you finally calm yourself down enough, you can feel how swollen your eyes are. You sniffle, wipe your nose in your sleeve, then start driving back to the Cut. You drive and drive, your head spinning. You start to cry again when you realize who you want to talk to more than anything about this - JJ Maybank. You two had always been great friends, and before you know it, you're pulling up to John B's.
You don't even bother trying to adjust your appearance; JJ's seen just about every look on you and all you want is to just talk to him. You walk up the stairs to the porch of the house, coming face to face with Kiara. She's smoking a blunt and sits up straight when she sees you, your mind flashing back to the way she screamed at you last night.
"What happened to you?" she scoffs, eyeing your tear soaked shirt and swollen eyes.
"Is he here?" you ask her as you attempt to pass by her and go into the house to find him if you have to.
"None of your damn business," she mutters.
"Is he fucking here or not, Kiara?" you raise your voice, surprising her.
She raises an eyebrow at you, then looks back toward the house, "JJ!"
You sigh and roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest as you wait. She looks back down at her blunt, taking another drag and pretending you don't exist.
"Y/N?" you hear JJ's voice, and when he catches sight of you, he speaks again, "Oh, my God. What happened?"
Your heart melts at the way he rushes to you without a second thought, pulling you into his arms. You start to cry again, not able to hold any of it back. Kiara huffs and crushes her blunt, then stands and walks inside. You've never been more thankful to see her go.
"Rafe," you start, but the words aren't coming easily.
"What? Did he do something to you?"
You shake your head immediately, trying to suck in a deep breath.
"Okay, okay," he coaxes you, "Let's sit. Just relax."
He leads you over to the couch where Kiara had been sitting and pulls you down with him, taking your hands in his. You start to cry even harder when he does this, knowing how much you don't deserve it. JJ had been too good for you from the very beginning.
"It's okay," he tells you, giving you a little smile, "Take a deep breath."
You sit and focus on your breathing, squeezing tightly onto JJ's hands in yours. He nods his head and whispers occasionally to you, telling you to relax and you're safe. When you finally have a grip on your breathing, you look up at him with sad eyes.
"I cheated on you," you mumble, finally having the balls to admit it. The guilt and the weight of your mistake is holding your chest down.
"Ouch," he jokes, laughing to try and lighten the mood, "Yeah, Y/N, I kind of knew that already."
You shake your head rapidly, as if to tell him he doesn't understand. He leans his head in closer to you to stop you from moving, then reaching up and moving hair away from your eyes.
"No," you say, feeling the tears again, "I'm not that person, JJ. And you deserve better than that, God, you deserve so much better. I'm so sorry, you don't understand. I'm so, so sorry, JJ-"
He pulls you into him before you can continue apologizing, feeling your second wave of hysterics coming on.
"It's all right," he whispers.
"No, it's not," you say into his shoulder, "You were always so good to me and I just-"
"Sweetheart," he pulls out his favorite nickname for you, but both of you can tell it means something different now than it did, "I wasn't what you wanted. That's okay. Nobody can blame you for that. Not even you."
You pull away from him, staring at him with red and puffy eyes, "Kiara can."
JJ laughs, replaying last night over in his head. He had yelled at Kiara the entire way home for being such a bitch to you.
"Now," he smiles gently when you lift yourself off of him, "Tell me what happened with Rafe."
"Are you sure?"
He nods, "Friends first, right?"
You nod, then reach up and wipe your tears, "I kind of told him I wanted a break because he needs to get clean and figure out some shit. Topper told me this morning that Rafe's just going to leave me, anyway. And I just can't get hurt again, I can't be that zombie version of myself again, JJ."
He nods his head as you speak, trying to understand and absorb every word you say. He stares at you for a moment once you finish speaking, trying to figure out exactly what his response should be.
"I get it," he starts off easy, "But, fuck, Y/N, I kind of think you're busy protecting yourself. Rafe himself hasn't even given you a reason to think he's going to leave you, right?"
You shake your head. JJ nods encouragingly.
"Good. I think you're putting a lot of value on Topper's words. And did you see how drunk that motherfucker was last night? I wouldn't trust that guy with a paper bag, much less my relationship. I don't wanna tell you what to do or how to handle your feelings, but I think you're the one who has shit to figure out."
You smile and wrap your arms around him in a hug, soaking in every word. You had known coming her wouldn't be a mistake, and JJ seems to prove you right every time.
"Thank you, JJ," you say as you hug him.
"You seem happy with him," he says quietly, "Don't overthink it. You could miss out on something amazing."
You hang out with JJ for a bit until you feel comfortable enough to go home. He makes you promise to text him when you get there safely, then tells you to fix things with Rafe. You just nod and hop in the car, driving home.
And when you lay in bed before you fall asleep, you can't help but check. You pull up your boyfriend's Instagram page and click on the post from last night, a pit growing in your stomach as you can only imagine what he changed the caption to.
Your heart swells when you read the same sweet words you read this morning. You click on the comment section and see that it says the caption had been edited two hours ago. Right after he had left your house.
He knew you loved it. So he changed it back.
That's what makes up your mind.
Tags: @hollandsour @flowerkidlxrry @outrbanks @kookkyra @pogueslandia @sarahwasfound
@sydmetry @fuzzyhumanpersontrash @rafecameronn . .
@cmaisano14 @kaysturnt @rafeswh0r @estacticheart
Barry telling Rafe he has a complete lack of discipline and then Rafe later echoing similar words to Wheezie by telling her she needs to have a little self-discipline has me dying lmao
So I made some playlists on Spotify (I am still working on them SLOWLY but we will get there) and I thought I’d share them with you just incase you wanted to listen. No pressure at all, I just like sharing stuff hehe ^.^
> OBX Vibes - songs from both series (thanks Chase’s playlist for some of them hehe) and also some songs I feel like should be on OBX that just give me the VIBES you know?
> JJ Maybank - JJ vibes all over tbh (also yes I stole most of these from Rudy’s playlist he made for JJ, sorry not sorry)
> Rafe Cameron - just these psycho Rafe vibes because honestly justice for Rafe (also a lot of these are from tiktok edits oops)
> Sarah Cameron - the Kook Princess turned Pogue who we all love lots
> Topper Thornton - no u don’t ToppER
> Pope Heyward - I love this smart man tbh
> Kiara Carrera - our sassy Kie <3
> John Booker Routledge - see you later, sweetheart
a lot of songs on these playlists are from scenes they’re in on the show also if you have any other songs you think should be on there, send me a message and I’ll add them! Remember, these are still a work in progress!!
Attack on Titan
> AOT Vibes - just songs that give me AOT vibes tbh
> Eren Jaeger - the true loml<3
> Levi Ackerman - take a look at these big ass trees
> Armin Arlert - this boy deserves all the love
> ErenxMikasa - an eremika playlist which is mainly all heartbreaking not gonna lie, good luck to you if you listen to this one
> Zhongli - we all love our geo grandpa
> Tartaglia - is Griffin okay though? (also yes a lot of these are Griffin’s band’s songs or songs he’s done on his tiktoks)
> Xiao - our recluse adeptus
> Diluc - can I have a drink, Sir? (I also need to make a Kaeya playlist I think....)
If you listened to any of these playlists, thank you so much! If not, that’s absolutely okay! I hope you have a lovely day!! ^.^
If anyone is interested in any more, feel free to send me a message! I have also made playlists for my OC’s for OBX and AOT but they are currently on private because I’m SHY.
because it’s my birthday, and i have very little self control, here’s the fic summaries of the two-part series i’m working on atm :)
(yes it’s the jjpope rivals to lovers with a lot in between one that i posted about the other day)
i had a dream jiara got together, my dreams have been known to be prophetic, hence it's confirmed jiara is going to be canon
Excuse me please. What is this 😩😩😩😩😩 He looks so friendly, I really want to talk to him omg