Read Ch. 6 on ao3
CW: some more smutty mcsmut (mature content)
Dani noted the lack of sunlight as a new patron entered the pub,
the wind whistling as it entered noisily with him. She checked her
phone for the time. “Wow, I can’t believe it’s already so late.” The au
pair and the gardener had been video chatting for hours as they milled
through paperwork and tasks together concerning their wedding, the shop,
the honeymoon, and virtual apartment hunted.
“You’ll be heading upstairs, then? Will I be joining you?” Jamie asked.
“Yes,” Dani smirked as she stood with her laptop in tow. “Come with me.”
“Further,” Jamie instructed.
Dani let her fingers inch further down her stomach, past her navel, waiting and anticipating what Jamie had in store for her.
“Lift your shirt with your other hand.”
Dani looked to her side as she lay on her back on the bed. The
nightstand held her laptop which showed Jamie’s eyes growing darker and
her lips parting. She let a soft hum of pleasure escape at the sight.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” Jamie asked her. “Christ, I wish I was there, Poppins. What I’d do to you…”
“Tell me,” Dani found herself all but whispering, a little
desperately. She felt her cheeks warm, but she refused to be overcome by
self-consciousness. Instead, she locked her gaze on the screen, drawing
strength from the sight of Jamie and her own vulnerability in showing
just how much this was undoing her.
“I’d…” Jamie swallowed. Her eyes were scanning her screen as she
made up her mind. “I’d pin your arms above your head while I kissed
you, for starters. Lift one of your arms for me. Hold onto the bedframe,
Dani closed her eyes as she followed the instructions. She
gripped one of the cold metal bars above her head with one hand while
the other remained on her lower abdomen. “And then?”
“I’d touch you, slowly moving from your chest to your hips, back and forth. Yeah, like that.”
Humming as she imagined what Jamie described, she let her free hand do whatever Jamie said.
“I’d let my hand fan out on your hips and dip to the inside of
your thigh. I’d massage your thighs and get closer and closer to exactly
where you want me to be.”
Dani moved her hips against the movement of her hand. “Jamie,” she sighed.
“I don’t think I can take this much longer, Dani. Are you
ready?” With a mere nod from Dani, she continued. “Touch yourself for
me. Not too fast yet.”
Dani felt her legs stiffen. Her hips rocked into her hand as she
imagined it was Jamie circling her center. Her grip tightened on the
bar above her head, her knuckles whitening.
“Jesus, you’re so fucking beautiful, Dani.”
The au pair groaned and felt her lover’s name on her lips. “Faster, Jamie.”
“Yes,” Jamie said, and it was all the permission Dani needed. “You’re almost there. I’ve got you.”
In no time at all, Dani’s breath hitched and her back arched off
of the bed. She called Jamie’s name as loud as she dared as pulse after
pulse of pleasure coursed its way through her.
“Mmph,” Dani heard Jamie’s voice let out a small moan. “Fuck, Dani.”
With a small breath of a laugh, Dani nodded in silent agreement.
She curled herself on her side to face Jamie on her screen.
“Apparently, I needed that.”
“Well, I am planning a wedding.”
“I see. How’s that going?” Jamie asked.
Dani grinned at her teasing. “It’s a headache, but my fiancée is
worth it and she’s been doing her part every step of the way. I’m kinda
Jamie watched Dani for a moment before her lips pursed and her brow furrowed slightly. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” Dani said as she slid beneath the covers. She rested her head in her hand as her elbow rested on the mattress.
“Why do you go by Dani?”
Dani’s smile fell. She looked down, averting her eyes. “Why do you ask?”
“Curious is all,” Jamie explained. “I’m to say ‘Dani’ in our
vows and our invitations say ‘Dani’. And, you never introduced yourself
to me as Danielle. Just Dani.”
“We never introduced ourselves at all,” Dani laughed softly.
“Fair point,” Jamie tilted her head in acquiescence. “Nice
diversion, Poppins, but that’s not exactly an answer. Is it something
you don’t want to talk about, because you d–”
“It’s fine,” Dani finally looked up. “I uh…it’s not an easy subject, though,” she said, forcing her lips to curve upward.
“I can see that, Poppins” Jamie said. “You’ve got that smile
that you save for when you’re actually in pain. It’s really okay if
you’d rather not have this talk.”
“That obvious?” Dani laughed without mirth.
“To me, it is,” Jamie nodded. “Let’s change the subject. That
contractor might just finish the bloody floor on time. I went in today
“Eddie used to call me Danielle,” the au pair interrupted.
A light dawned in Jamie’s eyes. “Oh. Oh, Poppins, I’m sorry. I–”
“Had no idea,” Dani gave her that half-hearted smile again.
“It’s okay. Really. My mom calls me Danielle, too. It’s just,” she
paused for a beat, trying to find the words she needed. “I’ve never felt
like ‘Danielle.’ I’ve always been Dani, even though people only ever
saw me as Danielle – the good girl who became a school teacher and
loved the boy next door.”
Jamie nodded softly. “Is it okay that I call you ‘Poppins’? I
never really asked,” Jamie said, carding a hand through her hair and
looking annoyed with herself.
Dani shook her head. “No, Jamie, it’s okay. It’s more than okay.
When you first called me that, I couldn’t stop smiling. Having a
nickname meant having a friend. It felt like someone was finally getting
for the first time in my life. I love it when you call me ‘Poppins’,” she said with a real smile this time.
Jamie’s eyes bounced around, scanning Dani on her screen. She
looked down as if in thought. “Do you miss him? Sometimes? I mean, you
grew up with him. He was your friend–hell, your family.”
The au pair felt her heart speed up and her palms began to feel
sweaty. Thinking about that part of her life tended to flare up the
anxiety and guilt she’d lived with for so long. “In a way,” Dani
admitted. “Like you said, he was my best friend. Practically family.”
“I er-” Jamie struggled. “I get that, but I…I also don’t think it’s right, what he put you through.”
Dani frowned in question.
“He groomed you for years, Dani. You didn’t show any interest in
him that way at all, but he pretended not to see it. He pretended you
wanted him, because it’s what he wanted. If he’d really loved you, he
would have wanted all of you, not just the part of you that he wanted to
see.” She paused, closing her eyes and turning away. “I don’t like that
he hurt you for so long.”
“We hurt each other.”
“Codswallop. All you did was finally tell him you couldn’t pretend for him anymore.”
“Well, I’m alive and he’s dead, so what, I win?” Dani said, frustrated.
“That’s not what I’m trying to say. He didn’t deserve to die, but you deserved -
- to live. Christ, when I met you, you couldn’t sleep. You
couldn’t look at yourself in a mirror without seeing him, and I can’t
help resent- no, I’m sorry, but I
him for it. He stole years of your life from you and tried to keep doing it from beyond the grave.”
“I know,” Dani winced. “And I love you for the
sentiment: for wanting to protect me from the embodiment of
heteronormativity that is my dead boyfriend, but you don’t have to
protect me from him anymore. We chased him away, together, a long time
ago. I–” she let out a small laugh under her breath. “I never told you
this, but it was after our first night together that I stopped seeing
“Guess that night was a good one for more than one reason, then” Jamie said, a small smile forming on her lips again.
Dani smiled with her. “All I know is that I’ve never been more
Dani than when I’m with you.“ She took a moment to let her eyes take in
every inch of Jamie’s beautiful image on the screen. ”
Now, can I ask you something about your name?”
With a tilt of her head and arched brow, Jamie waited.
“Can I–Would it be all right if sometimes I call you Jay?”
The gardener’s eyes held a warm fondness for the au pair as she answered. “Sure, Poppins. I think I’d like that.”