#p:self Tumblr posts

  • sihyeonfolder
    29.04.2021 - 6 days ago
    210428 Fancafe Update

    title: It’s past bedtime

    It’s been a while everyone! I’ve been wanting to eat rose jjimdak all day. Why is the weather going back and forth!!!? wind stop blowing syeon hates this weather... ☁️... 😅

    forever sleep well and wake up well! ❤️

    translation by everglowstr

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  • sihyeonfolder
    29.04.2021 - 6 days ago
    210425 EVERGLOW_twt Update

    [#시현] 날씨가 너무 조흐네요 포에버! 산책하다가 이런이가 사진 찍어줬어요😋 모두들 느긋느긋 꼼지락꼼지락 한 주말 보내길..!!!☆〜(ゝ。∂)


    This weather is too sunny forever! While walking, I took a picture😋 I hope everyone has a relaxing weekend..!!!☆〜(ゝ。∂)

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  • archer-clarington
    13.04.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    Self-Defense | 4/14 | Blarcher

    Archer nodded over at Blaine as he saw the other sub enter the gym. He’d been punching a bag and getting a bit of a workout in before his self-defense lesson with Blaine was going to start. His muscles still weren’t all that happy with having to be used with the bruises still littering his most of his body, and he actually had a t-shirt on to cover some of the darkest ones on his torso. He didn’t want to freak Blaine out too much. “Hey,” he said as Blaine approached him. “You ready for this?” @submissivexblaine

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  • matthiasknights
    25.11.2020 - 5 monts ago
    WHO: self-para WHAT: a recounting of matthias’s reaction to his first victim, anthony carstairs  WHEN: 1816, a few hours after Matthias’s turn WHERE: Caribbean Sea TRIGGERS: death, blood. violence. they’re mentioned in passing, but better safe than sorry.

    “I... I killed him.”

    Matthias rocked back on his heel, shock and regret written all over his face, Anthony Carstairs’s blood drenching him from head to toe. The kill had been messy to say the least and Matthias still wore the results of it.

    Anthony had been the same age as Matthias, but unlike Matthias, had been wise to the ways of the world far too long before his time. Children in this time were hardly allowed to be innocent. How could they be when disease and poverty stole their parents from them, survival drove them to sell their lives to the merchant sailors, or the Navy pressed them into lives that were barely better than those of slaves and indentured servants? But Anthony had seen even more than the typical man his age. He’d joined the merchant marines as a child. It had been that or a life that would certainly lead him to the gallows. In his travels, he’d seen men lose limbs, boys flogged and flown alongside the ship’s sails, and yet, nothing could compare to the darkness he’d seen in Matthias’s gaze.

    Now that the demon that had overtaken his mind and body had receded into the recesses, Matthias was left to take stock of what had happened. “Murdered him,” he choked out, the words seeped in deep grief. He’d looked into Anthony’s too old for his age eyes and had seen the moment he’d realized that death wore Matthias’s face, the moment he’d resigned himself to the instinctual needs of the monster that consumed his friend.

    “Our first kills are always difficult,” a soft voice explained with more gentleness than should have been offered him given the current situation. “One day, you will look back upon this and recognize it for what is it -- the way of nature, predator and prey.”

    Matthias looked into eyes he’d thought he’d dreamed, dark with a wisdom he couldn’t hope to understand, framed in a face that seemed too young to carry it. Locking eyes with her brought a deep sense of stillness, one Matthias hadn’t felt since the moment he’d awoken in her arms, a hunger stronger than any he’d ever felt gnawing in the pit of his stomach, raging in his bones, propelling him forward towards the closest thing that could fulfill it. That thing had been Anthony. 

    “First?” Matthias managed to utter the word that was both question and confession as he pointedly struggled to ignore the now glassy eyes of his fellow sailor. The angel (demon?) must have noticed because the next Matthias knew, Anthony’s body was being lifted and flung overboard. Given her size, that should’ve been impossible, and yet, it wasn’t. 

    “First,” she confirmed. Her small fingers came to rest against his chin. Matthias only had a few seconds to note the strength in them as she pulled his face down so that his gaze was now locked with hers. “It will become easier,” she reiterated. There was an accent tinting her sing-song voice, one the sailor couldn’t quite place. She lifted her hand from his face and threaded her smaller fingers through his. “And here I thought tonight’s hunt would be fruitless.” It was then that Matthias noticed the other man standing off to the side. Had he always been there?

    “Let’s get you cleaned up.” A smile overtook her features and Matthias felt the rest of the tension drain from his limbs as her tongue darted out to swipe at the trail of blood at the corner of his mouth. “You will make a fine trophy, my darling.”

    #p:self para #self.oo2 #well this was fun #i'm totally okay
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  • matthiasknights
    28.10.2020 - 6 monts ago
    who: self-para what: the day matthias was turned  when: 1816 where: Caribbean Sea triggers: death, blood. it’s the last moments of his human life, so you know, the usual.

    Chaos. There was chaos all around him. Men screaming as they plunged into the depths of the Caribbean Sea. The sound of wood splintering all around him. The acrid smell of cannons and gunpowder. So much chaos. 

    All Matthias wanted to do was close his eyes. There was a coldness seeping into his limbs, one that didn’t quite feel right. His legs felt heavy. His eyelids were droopy. Only minutes before he’d been standing starboard, the sun beating down on his face, fingers tinkering with the neck of his uniform. He hadn’t been considering opening the topmost button, of course, because that would be against protocol, but the heat had been so much that he had almost considered it. Almost. 

    That was the last thought he’d had before the shout had come that there was another ship on the horizon and suddenly, almost too quickly, the peace of the day had been shattered. 

    His hands gripped the taffrail, the majority of his body’s weight resting against it, as Matthias willed his body to remain standing. He needed to take stock of what was happening. Two legs. Two arms. All limbs accounted for. Still, it didn’t account for the cold that was radiating out from his extremities. 

    No longer able to stand, his body slid to the deck. It was then that Matthias realized that the cold was not radiating from his extremities, but rather from the wound in his side. How he’d missed it, he wasn’t sure. How it had gotten there, he wasn’t sure. Almost blearily, Matthias reached down to press his fingers against his stomach. When he pulled them away, they were covered with a sticky substance. Blood, his mind supplied. Sometime between the shout that had pierced the quiet day at sea and the first cannon which had rippled through the body of the ship, Matthias had been injured. Likely by one of pieces of wood that had splintered off of the ship in the explosion, he realized. 

    It was all too much. Too many sensations for his mind to keep up with. The noise. The smells. The smoke that burned his nostrils. Too much. 

    And then nothing at all. 

    Nothing apart from the cool fingers brushing his sweat drenched hair from his forehead. Nothing apart from those same cool fingers worrying at the buttons at his neck. Nothing but the tiny angelic creature that held him clutched against her breast, soft voice reassuring him that everything would be okay. Somehow, though, the words didn’t match the look in her eyes -- dark eyes that glistened with glee and something else that he couldn’t quite place. Something otherworldly.

    Then, without warning, it was as if all the sensations his mind had been trying to keep at bay came flooding back. Only this time they centered on the twin pricks at his neck, a pain worse than anything he’d experienced previously, so much so that he almost forgot about the wound in his side. Every part of Matthias wanted to fight, to move away from the source of this unbearable pain. His hand reached up, still sticky with his own blood, to grip the head of the creature latched to his neck. No longer was she the angel who had stepped through smoke and fire, who had re-centered his world, a placid smile on her face. His squirming legs attempted to push himself away. Where he wasn’t sure. He just needed to get away. There was a part of him that knew that he looked like a small animal moments before its neck snapped, realization dawning that the end was near. And still, there was nothing he could do. He powerless against the woman who held him.

    So this was what it felt like to die, he thought. 

    His hand slid from where it had been wrapped in her dark hair as her own wrist was pressed against his lips. There was a moment of stillness, a silent command, as Matthias allowed his eyes to close and the cold to embrace him. 

    #p:self para #self.oo1
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  • alexhazeltons
    16.08.2020 - 8 monts ago
    where: alex’s office at astoria u when: during the sturgeon moon, evening who: self para

    Alexander should’ve been used to this by now. Having lived in Astoria the entirety of his life, he should have been accustomed to the strange goings on, but when he walked into his office at the University only to find his grandmother seated at his desk cradling an infant in her arms, his heart dropped. Had it been anyone else, Alexander wouldn’t have blinked an eye, but his grandmother had died years ago and unless he was mistaken, the infant in her arms was his. 

    “Shaawát aa ax léelk'w,” he greeted. The Tlingit word for grandmother flowing out of his mouth as smoothly as it had when Alex had been a child. It had been years since he’d spoken anything other than English, though the Tlingit tongue had been his first. As a child, it had been all his mother had spoken to him, an effort, in her way, to make him feel connected to something bigger. Werewolves had their packs, witches their covens, vampires their centuries of histories, and Alex had this language that had fought against all odds to survive. 

    “Alexander,” she answered. The smokiness in her voice reminded him of the years he’d spent as a child, sitting at her feet as she told stories of the old ways. He was tempted, in that moment, to do just that -- curl up at his grandmother’s feet and ask her to tell him stories of the Beyond. 

    There were so many things he wanted to ask her, so many years that had passed since she’d died. He wanted to tell her about his work, about Mira, about the unexpected changes that life had thrown his way, but his gaze kept creeping back to the small bundle tucked safely away in her arms. “Is that…” the words drifted off. He was terrified to know the answer. 

    Alexander had become a father before Mira. They’d been young, and the pregnancy had been unexpected, but he’d been thrilled. Prior to that moment, Alex had given the notion of being a father little thought. It had always been something he’d wanted, but he would have been fine had it never came to fruition. 

    The reality of fatherhood had been like a dream -- snuffed out before it could be fully realized. Their son had been young, barely even a month old, when he’d died. SIDS, they’d said. Sometimes babies just die. It had been something that he’d chosen not to think about. Then, Mira had come along, and it had been almost easy to forget the son that had been taken from them. Now, though, seeing him there, cradled in his grandmother’s arms, Alex couldn’t forget about the child. 

    “I’m sorry,” he whispered. There was a hitch in his voice as if the words were too heavy to say out loud. “I didn’t mean to forget you. Either of you.” There had been so much else to think about. Work. Mira. His failed marriage. He just hadn’t had time to honor these two important people who had gone on. “I can’t even imagine what you think of me.” 

    The words continued to flow. Still, his grandmother remained silent, a stone edifice at his desk. His hand reached out, but at the last moment, Alexander pulled back. He didn’t know what he expected to happen. Would he have been able to touch her? To hold his son one last time? The very real possibility that the answer would be no hurt. “I just needed to forget. To move on. To not fail Mira.”

    When the words left his mouth, Alex froze. The loss of his son had been debilitating in a way nothing else in life had been. Moving on had been nearly impossible, but then Mira had come along, and suddenly, life had meaning again. His daughter was the light at the end of a seemingly endless tunnel. 

    When Ennea had left, Alex had felt that profound sense of loss again. It had been nearly overwhelming, but the knowledge that Mira had needed him -- in a way that no one had ever needed him before -- had allowed him to compartmentalize his feelings and move on. For his daughter. “It was the right thing to do,” he heard himself say. The only thing he could have done. And he wasn’t going to feel guilty about that. 

    That realization struck him. Alex had done what he had needed to do in order to provide for and protect his daughter. He was still doing whatever he needed to do to provide for and protect her. Perhaps, he held on too tightly, but it was all he knew. Protecting Mira from the feeling he’d experienced now twice in his life was of the utmost importance. 

    “Thank you.” Again, his tone was quiet, somber. There was a reverence to it this time. His grandmother had always been the source of wisdom in his life, the one person who would listen to him while he worked through his problems. Here again, even in death, she was aiding him. “I’m doing the best I can.” The words, spoken out loud in the empty room, felt sacred. Alex had long carried the feeling of inadequacy, the fear that he wouldn’t be enough for his child. After all, there were things that he couldn’t teach her, things that he, a human, would never be able to understand, but here he was, speaking words out loud to the ghost of his grandmother that he’d never said to himself.  “I’m doing the best I can.”

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  • matcheddani
    31.07.2020 - 9 monts ago

    Catwalk || Self-Para

    When: July, 2020 Where: Inside and outside of Dani’s apartment Who: @matcheddani, mentions of @moedaugherty What: Dani completes her dare for the 6th Matched Task, “Try to take the cat for a walk using a leash/harness.”

    True to her nature, Dani put off one of her final truth or dares until the last minute.  It wasn’t that it was something she was dreading, really, but something always seemed to come up, squashing her chances of even thinking about starting her task (it certainly had nothing to do with her being a procrastinator). She had started preparing for the dare about a week before, when she bought the highest recommended cat harness from the clinic, in hopes that something high end would more easily entice Stella to be cooperative on their walk.  In the short time that they had the cat, Morgan and Dani had learned that, despite her disabilities, she was a lady that was going to do what she want when she wanted it.  Currently, she was a fan of knocking Morgan’s makeup off the dresser and listening for the fascinating sound the different items made as they landed on the ground.   So there was no doubt in Dani’s mind that even getting her into the harness was going to be a feat in itself.  

    She approached Stella with kissy noises and her favorite treats, both to get her attention and to prove to her that this was going to be like, really fun if she just cooperated.  For good measure and proof (and maybe some clout), she gave Mogan, who had been watching from the couch, her phone to record her on instagram live. How else would everyone know she was completing her dare if she didn’t document it live? After a quick intro and explanation to her many viewers (her stepmom and her college roommate, so far), she got to work.

    “I’ve got a present for you, Stellie”, she said, crawling back over to the cat who was sniffing at the treat bag.  She pulled Stella onto her lap with a grin, quickly showing the camera the harness.  It was something she’d done more than once at the clinic, so Dani wasn’t too worried about the first step of her dare.  She gently but swiftly took Stella under the arms with one hand, ready to pull the harness onto her with the other when the cat slipped away, running to hide under the couch.  “Oh shit.” She stuck her tongue out at Morgan, who seemed to find this whole ordeal funnier and funnier with each passing minute.

    “Stellaaa”, she called, reaching under the couch.  Dani clumsily fumbled around until she found Stella.  Once she pulled her out again, she gave her a treat.  With Stella distracted it was much easier to get the harness on her this time, despite the still persistent struggling on Stella’s part.   She held her up to the camera and Morgan in triumph, laughing at how silly the kitty looked.  Stella, who wasn’t used to wearing anything, plopped over to the side as soon as Dani put her back on the floor. 

    She laughed, assuring the camera and Morgan alike that Stella would be showered in treats when they got back.  She scooped the cat under her arm, then went to grab her phone from Morgan, kissing her gently.  “I’ll be back!”, she called out, and with seconds she was out the door.

    Stella snuggled into Dani, not used to being out of the apartment since she’d been adopted.  She was squirmier than Dani had anticipated, and it was hard to balance holding her and filming for the instagram live at the same time.  “Stella is having so much fun!” she said with a laugh to her phone.  She tried to set Stella down gently, but as soon as her feet touched the ground, she did the same plop over that she’d done upstairs.  “C’mon, Stell... it’s a walk!” she said, trying to gently prod the cat along. She picked her up and put her upright, turning the camera back on her just in time to see her plop over again. 

    “I don’t know how far we’re gonna get” she said to the camera with a laugh, trying once again with the same results.  The people walking by seemed to find this just as amusing as Dani did.  Once more, she set Stella upright, and for once, it seemed like she was actually going to cooperate.  That feeling of hope only lasted a second though, because for the last time, she let herself plop over.  Dani laughed out loud, picking up Stella, and turning the camera back toward her. 

    “It seems queen Stella has spoken, folks.  No walk for us today.  I’ll check back with you when I by her her very own stroller... that might be our only hope.  See you soon!”

    With that, she ended the live with another giggle.  She couldn’t wait to get back upstairs to the apartment to tell Morgan all about their unsuccessful walk.  Stella certainly deserved some cuddles and treats for being such a good sport.

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  • westirisx
    25.04.2020 - 1 year ago

    Seeing the lights go off on the security cameras, Iris smirked to herself as she made her way inside the facility. Thank God she wore sensible attire this time. As Iris made her way through the winding corridors of the facility, she couldn’t help but take out her camera to document what she saw, even though it was a lot of doors with numbers on them. She stopped for a moment when she saw a window with the curtains cracked open. Peaking through, she furrowed her eyebrows as she noticed all the equipment. It looked a lot like what they had in the speed lab. Glancing over at the door, Iris quietly touched the handle to see if it was open. To her surprise the door was unlocked and Iris stepped inside. Looking for closely at the objects, she couldn’t help but notice how similar it was to the tech Star Labs had. Cisco really needs to have better security... she thought as she snapped pictures. How could the team not know things were being stolen. Unless this place was replicating it? Iris heard a noise and quickly ran out of the room and down a corridor where she hid behind a pillar. 

    Voices and footsteps could be heard walking and going into the room she was just in. Iris peaked around the corner and could see a little bit of what was happening. They were working on something. She couldn’t figure out what they were doing or what was being said, but this was something the world needed to know about. Over the years they have had too many surprises happening to this city that they needed a heads up if something bigger was coming along. Hell the team needed to know that something was up. Somehow it always landed on them figuring things out. Taking a small breath, Iris turned on her heels and tried her hardest not to make a noise before making her way down another empty hallway. When she was out of reach, she let out the sigh she was holding. It wasn’t until she looked up that she noticed a door at the end of the hallway. “Ominous door...of course,” Iris whispered as she slowly made her way towards it. As she got closer she saw what was engraved on the bottoms of the room number sign. Taking out the coin in her pocket, she put the pieces together and noticed the signs were similar. As she was about to open the door a hand was placed on her shoulder. “We’ve been waiting for you Mrs. West-Allen,” the dark voice muttered as a cool rush went through her body. She felt a small prick go into her neck and before she knew it her vision was getting hazy and she passed out. 

    Moments passed and Iris felt herself come to. She noticed she was strapped to a chair with wires connected to her. “Wh--” she tried to speak but it was hard. Somehow she was being sedated and she wasn’t all there. Figures were standing around her talking, but nothing was making sense. It wasn’t until one of the voices was directed at her that she made out what they said. “You’re just the person we need. We’ve been watching for a few weeks and your husband has a very strong connection to the Speed Force...just what we need. So thank you for your cooperation while we send one of our esteemed agents into the field.” Iris looked up and could have sworn she saw herself sitting in another chair. “We’ve tested the machine already...this will work now do it!” Before she could defend herself Iris fell unconscious again. 

    Fluttering her eyes open, Iris opened her eyes and looked around. “How do you feel?” Staring at the figure in front of her, she smiled.

     “Like a brand new person.” 

    “And what is your mission?” 

    “Capture the energy from the speedforce and infiltrate Star Labs.” 

    “Perfect...now get me what I want.” 

    #p:self para #//I feel like this is word vomit #but here ya go! lol #does it make sense...who knows! HAHAHA
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  • fy-dkb
    09.04.2020 - 1 year ago

    JUNSEO’s Self-Written Profile

    ENG TRANS @fy-dkb

    T/N: Translation may contain inaccuracies due to being unable to read his handwriting

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  • fy-dkb
    09.04.2020 - 1 year ago

    TEO’s Self-Written Profile

    ENG TRANS @fy-dkb

    T/N: Translations may contain some inaccuracies since it’s hard to read his handwriting in certain places

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  • fy-dkb
    09.04.2020 - 1 year ago

    D1′s Self-Written Profile

    ENG TRANS @fy-dkb

    T/N: jangjorim is a soy braised beef dish, I think it’s referring to the color of D1′s skin 

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  • juliespence
    14.06.2019 - 1 year ago

    milk & honey ✖︎ self para

    WHO: Julie Spencer 
    WHEN: August - October 2017
    WHERE: New York City Ballet
    SUMMARY: In an attempt to finally make her parents proud of her, Julie goes to extreme lengths to secure a part as Odette in the NYCB’s production of Swan Lake.


    We’re sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone. *beep*

    “Hey, mom...” It had been a few months since Julie tried to reach out to her parents, but with possibly the biggest role she could ever have at the New York City Ballet coming up, she hoped that maybe they’d finally come out and support her. She stood in a hallway backstage; her back against a wall with her phone up to her ear. “I know you’re probably surprised to hear from me, but I just wanted to tell you that I’m gonna be Odette in Swan Lake this year and-” She paused, glancing over at the bulletin board and drawing in a sharp breath as she saw the cast list being posted. 

    “-listen, I’d really like to see you there - both of you. This is going to be huge for me, so...I really hope I see you there. Okay. Bye.” Her eyes watched the group of girls that swarmed the bulletin board as she hung up her phone.

    There had been plenty of talk about Julie being the one to take the lead role. It had been everything she had worked so hard for since Juilliard; since landing at the NYCB. Her best friend, Colette, and fellow dancers had shown nothing but support, so she was so sure she had the part in the bag.

    Taking a deep breath and tucking her phone down into her bag, Julie made her way over to the bulletin board and pushed through the small crowd. The faces of her castmates as she passed them, however, suggested that disappointment awaited her.

    She furrowed her brow as she finally made it to the front and quickly scanned over the cast list.

    Colette Goodwin 
    Julie Spencer - Understudy

    Julie felt her heart sink down to her stomach. She wanted to feel nothing but pride for her best friend landing the lead role, but all she could feel was disappointment and betrayal. Why didn’t she tell her that she was also trying out for the lead role? Had the countless conversations they had about it being Julie’s dream role been all for naught? They were the questions that plagued her mind.

    “Oh my god, Julie!” Julie immediately recognized the extremely excited voice to be that of Colette’s. “I can’t believe I got Odette! This is amazing!”

    A lump had formed in Julie’s throat as she slowly turned around to face her best friend. “Yeah, it’s- it’s amazing.” She tried so hard to share in her excitement. “Why didn’t you tell me you were also auditioning for Odette?”

    Colette furrowed her brow. “I mean, wasn’t everyone auditioning for her? You’d be crazy to not. It’s the biggest show of the season.”

    “I mean, I realize that, but you knew how much this meant to me.” Julie paused, feeling herself become more heated. “You knew how much I needed this.”

    “I’m sorry, Julie, truly, but-” Colette stopped.

    “But, what?” Julie’s eyes narrowed on the other girl as she adjusted her bag on her shoulder.

    “-you aren’t the only person in the world that needs something like this or anything for that matter.” Colette crossed her arms across her chest. “I’m sorry, but I really wanted this part, too. I know how much you wanted it and I didn’t expect to actually get it, but here we are. At least you’re my understudy.”

    Guilt was starting to settle in for Julie the more Colette spoke. “I never said I was the only person, I just-” She drew in another sharp breath. “I really think this could be the one thing that really makes my parents understand and support me.”

    Colette rolled her eyes and a small scoff passed her lips. “Why do they even matter still? Julie, your parents didn’t you support you then and they’re not gonna support you now. Nothing’s going to change.”

    Julie couldn’t find the proper words for a response, so she bit the inside of her cheek and nodded before pushing past Colette to leave and go home.


    Things between Julie and Colette were strained for a while to say the least. The only times they saw each other after the cast posting was at rehearsals. She knew that she needed to be more supportive of Colette. After all, she was the one who took her in when her parent’s tried to prevent her from going to Juilliard. She gave her support when they didn’t and now it was time for her to return the favor.

    But whatever it was, Julie couldn’t shake the possibility of things finally being good with her parents. No matter how much she wanted to hate them and move on from them, she still wanted to make them proud - just once. 

    It was the last big, group rehearsal before opening night and Julie was still playing the waiting game. It was all she could really do as an understudy. Colette had just finished a run-through of her final dance and the cast had an hour to get food and relax before running through it one last time. 

    As the cast flooded into the dressing room, Julie sat in front of one of the mirrors and went through her duffle bag to find the snack she had packed. Colette sat a couple chairs away, taking off her shoes. “Are you not coming to dinner with everyone?”

    Julie’s head shot up at Colette’s voice, surprised that she was speaking to her. “No, I’m not that hungry and I brought food.” Her eyes fell to the other girl’s shoes as she took them off, noticing how old and tattered they were.

    “Well, we’re just gonna be down the street if you change your mind.” Colette noted before getting up and slinging her purse on her shoulder. “Right, well, see you later I guess.” She headed off with a couple of others, making small talk as they left. “Man, I really need to get new shoes, but I always hate breaking them in.” The conversation disappeared into muffles the further they got.

    Julie looked back to Colette’s shoes that sat with her other stuff on the chair, hating herself for what she was about to do. She got up from her chair and made her way to Colette’s things, picking up the girl’s shoes.

    They were falling apart. The seams were stressed and on the verge of breaking. Julie glanced over at a small pair of scissors on the dressing table next to her, chewing on her bottom lip in thought before picking them up. 

    All Julie needed was something to put Colette out long enough for her to perform as Odette in the opening show so her parents could see. Sure, she didn’t know for certain if her parents would come, but there was always a chance.

    Scissors ready to cut half the seams at the base of the ribbons, her hand was shaking with regret even though she hadn’t done anything yet. Weakening the ribbons would cause them to snap and Colette would lose crucial support for her ankle. Julie tried to tell herself the most that would happen would be a sprained ankle. Colette would be fine. 

    And that was how she justified her actions as the scissors cut through the seams like butter. It wasn’t a noticeable change, but from the moment Julie put the shoes back in their place, she felt sick to her stomach.


    The cast returned to the auditorium. Most  of them took a seat in the audience to watch Colette’s dance, but Julie remained in the wings. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen - if anything at all, but she couldn’t face her castmates, her friends.

    Julie’s heart had been beating noticeably faster, sweat was beginning to bead on her forehead. Colette took her position for the start of the dance, waiting for the music to begin. 

    The first half of the dance went without a hitch - that was until she went on pointe. Colette went into a pirouette, but the repetitive motion of going up and down from pointe to flat foot is what caused the seams of the ribbons to finally snap. There was only a brief moment where everything seemed fine before shrill screams of pain could be heard over the music.

    Colette had collapsed to the stage floor and Julie’s mouth was agape with terror as she realized how much worse this actually was. “I- I think my ankle is broken.” Colette cried as people huddled around her to help her. Julie

    The week that followed only caused Julie to spiral even more. Opening night had rolled around and her parents weren’t anywhere to be seen. They never called her or texted her to say congratulations. Things were still the same. 

    Colette’s injury wasn’t a clean break and news broke that it wasn’t going to heal properly. Therefore, she was forced to retire from ballet at the age of twenty-three.

    Julie ended up getting the role that she wanted at the cost of her best friend’s career and never got the support she wanted from her parents.

    She hasn’t seen Colette since.

    #p:self #p:milk and honey #p:all
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  • juliespence
    06.06.2019 - 1 year ago

    take me dancing ✖︎ self para

    WHO: Julie Spencer & Paul Spencer
    WHERE: In her father’s study
    SUMMARY: This is a look into Julie’s past and relationship with her father, Paul. The two have an argument upon Julie finding her acceptance letter into Juilliard buried in one of her father’s desk drawers.

    There were countless thoughts running through Julie’s head as she looked upon the envelope that had been carelessly ripped open in a drawer of her father’s desk. It had been addressed to her  — from Juilliard — but she wasn’t the one who opened it. She had only come to her father’s study in search of, well, she had forgotten exactly what it was at this point.

    Julie slowly picked up the envelope, pulling out the packet that was inside. Instantly, she knew by the thickness of it that it wasn’t a rejection letter. She didn’t know why, but small tears formed in the brims of her eyes as she began to read the letter on the first page.

    Dear Julie Marie Spencer,
    We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the dance program at Juilliard.

    A small smile had formed on her face and a tear had fallen down her cheek, but as her eyes traveled to the date, she realized it had been months since the letter had arrived. Before she had a moment to process it, a knock on the study’s door pulled her from her thoughts. Her eyes shot up to notice the older man stood in the doorway — her father.

    “Jules-” Paul Spencer began to speak, but Julie was quick to cut him off.

    “When were you going to tell me about this?” Julie asked in an accusatory manner. “And you do know it’s against the law to open someone else’s mail, don’t you? I figured since you work for the government, you’d be fully aware of that.”

    The air in the study grew thick as Paul drew in a sharp breath. “I was going to tell you about it, but I wanted you to actually apply to other schools first. You always have to have a backup plan.” He paused for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek. “And yes, I am aware that it’s against the law, but you’re my daughter and, lest we forget, I’m the one paying for your education.”

    Julie shook her head, feeling her face grow hot from the anger boiling inside of her. She always hated letting herself get heated like this, but this had been eighteen years in the making. It was time for her to take a stand.

    “I don’t need a backup plan and you knew that. I got accepted into Juilliard. You should be happy for me like any good parent would be.” She gritted her teeth for a moment before speaking to his last statement. “It doesn’t matter if I’m your daughter or not. My mail is still my mail and, no, you’re only paying for an education that you approve of.”

    Paul’s eyes grew a little wider as he took a few more steps into the study. “Are you really telling me you don’t think I’m a good parent?”

    “You haven’t really given me cause to believe otherwise now have you?” Julie knew she was walking on thin ice at this point, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She knew how this was going to end. “You and mom are the ones who got me into ballet to begin with, so you have yourselves to thank for that. I fell in love with it and I’m not going to be sorry for that.”

    “We put you in so many extracurriculars because we wanted you to experience everything and we’re glad that we did. I never asked you to be sorry for falling in love with ballet, Julie.” Paul shifted his weight as he leaned against the fireplace mantle. “All we wanted was for you to pursue a stable, practical career. It’s just smarts.”

    Practical? Julie almost laughed at how ridiculous her father sounded. “If Juilliard is giving me a chance, then that’s enough to tell me that I’m doing the right thing for me.” She didn’t realize how tightly she was gripping the letter in her hands and quickly loosened her grip before clearing her throat. “I’m done.”

    Paul furrowed his brow and started to move closer to his daughter. “What do you mean you’re done?” There was a hint of concern in his voice, but it wasn’t enough to make daddy’s used to be little girl falter.

    “I’m done doing this dance with you, with mom.” Julie tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. “I’m going to go stay with Colette until August and then I’m going to Juilliard. I’ll find another way to pay for school.”

    “Jules-” Paul tried once more, but was cut off once more.

    Julie shook her head as she lingered in the doorway of the study. “It’s Julie to you.”

    #p:all#p:self #p:take me dancing
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  • maldubois
    04.03.2019 - 2 years ago


    It’s funny how pain distorts memory.

    Thomas’s Melissa gave birth today. I haven’t cried about anything that happened to us when we were overseas because really there’s no reason to, but when I held that perfect little girl in my arms, I swear there were tears in my eyes. Her daddy should’ve been the first man to hold her, not me. I don’t know the first thing about babies. Hell, I thought I’d break her how tiny she was, but Melissa insisted and who can say no to a woman who’s recently given birth especially when that woman has recently lost her husband?

    She has her father’s deep green eyes. I took one look at them and couldn’t look away. They were Tommy’s eyes but so different, so full of life. It was weird seeing them on her face when only three months ago I’d held Tommy’s hand as the life leeched out of his.

    The first thing I did when I got home a few weeks ago was talk to the VA doc. He said something about the way that traumatic memories work, about why I can remember plain as day just how sticky Tommy’s blood felt on my hands and how the breath had sounded raspy as he coughed and asked me to take care of his girls, but can’t remember the feeling of the shrapnel in my side. He said “that’s how our brains work. We remember things that are visceral.” And suggested that maybe sometime in the future I’d remember the attack in full on technicolor and the pain that came from the injury. Maybe even the surgeries that followed. And when that happened I should come back and talk to him.

    Fuck that. I wanted to ask if he’d ever been to war. If he’d ever looked into someone’s eyes, knew that they had so much more to live for, and hated every god that ever existed for taking that life from them? I’d wanted to ask but instead I sat back and listened to him drone on and when he was done, I thanked him, signed my name for Athena, and told him I’d call if anything happened. 

    Not that that’s ever gonna happen. I’m fine, and if the doctor couldn’t understand that going to war meant that I was already ready to die and that I would switch places with Tommy without thinking twice just so he could stand in that delivery room and see the miracle that is his little girl, then he can’t possibly help me.

    Anyway, I’m fine. Went to the funeral and everything. Even smiled a bit and held Mel’s hand as they saluted her husband’s sacrifice. 

    But today... that little girl and her green eyes broke my damn heart.

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  • bjgdickrick
    14.08.2018 - 2 years ago
    so much for the grand experiment. he’d come to redmour with the hopes of getting to know people whose experiences were completely unlike his own. he made friends, he had fun, but he had now survived two, count them, two assaults upon the innocent, and come out with nothing but trauma and a broken leg, complete with sixty-seven stitches. he’d nearly lost his best friend. he’d nearly lost his own life. he couldn’t work at redmart with his leg like this, and his camming suffered, too. more from the trauma than the injury, but what was the difference?
    he had enough in his savings to move. it was one thing if these had been natural disasters and the town was just unlucky, but from his perspective it was simply a warzone pretending to be a safe haven for all. he hadn’t heard dick and or shit from anyone of authority about what happened with the vampires. everyone simply licked their wounds and moved on. he checked the news stations, and nothing outside the town reported the event. nothing local did, either. so fuck it. the great experiment was over. what friends he did make, he cherished. those he didn’t think were responsible for the massacre, that is. no vampires made that list.
    he would have to cherish them from afar, however. rick was moving. he’d given his two weeks at redmart, but he wasn’t gonna stick around for the two weeks. he and matty were moving on. luckily for him, matty’s werewolf healing had him well enough to pack everything for him. rick couldn’t do anything with his bum leg. he waited outside the apartment complex, sitting on the truck bed smoking a fat blunt, sneering at anyone who came near. his moms would be disappointed, he thought. until he told them about everything that went down. all those people dead or turned, which to him seemed like the same thing. no one cared. business as usual. 
    it was time to take his business elsewhere.
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  • a34m-saved
    27.06.2018 - 2 years ago

    Instagram Live #1 || Self-Para

    Auston wasn’t much for the Instagram app, barely using, maybe posting a picture every so often, but this was the first time he has ever used the Instagram live feature. After hitting the 'Start Live Video’ button he waited for it to really kick in as numerous people joined and before he knew it, it was in the thousand. Zach was already in bed, so Auston just laid on the couch, only being lit by the large lamp in the room, “Hey guys, I know it’s late and I never really do this thing, but I’m bored and really couldn’t think of anything to do tonight.” Numerous comments started flying past his eyes, some making him laugh a little “Well, some of you come on strong... but besides some of these comments, who wants a little Q and A time while I figure out what time I should go to bed at.” He looked straight into the camera, “I’m going to take that as a yes from all of you?”

    Finding the first question fly by, “What are you doing career wise right now? What? Are you new here? I play for the Toronto Maple Leafs, drafted and still ... wait, you’re making a joke about the off-season? It’s been golf, friends and family” He glanced back at the comments as the flew by, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Well... not sure yet, but I can only hope to still be playing hockey, it’s always been my dream and I’m glad I’m able to fulfill that dream, a dream a lot of kids dream of but never get to live.” He quickly jumped on the next question as it seemed to fit the current discussion about him, “If you couldn’t do your current profession anymore, what would you want to do? I think I’d go back to school and look into helping with physical therapy, whether ir be for sports or just the typical help, I just feel like that’s what I would do if it wasn’t for hockey.

    Biting his lip and looking back at the screen, he kind of subconsciously ignored the ‘have my baby’ comments and more of the inappropriate ones as well, “What is the hardest part about being a celebrity?“ He thought to himself for a moment, “I don’t know if I’d really consider myself a celebrity, maybe in the hockey world, but if you mention my name to some random guy in the middle of Kansas he’d probably have absolutely no clue who I even am,” Looking back at the comments now soaring by, making it harder for him to catch a good question, so the smallest one he saw he hopped on it, “Describe your ideal soulmate... Someone who can keep up with me, not only with hockey, but with my attitude, and just... someone who loves me for me, and I’m glad I have that right now”

    Smiling at the next question he saw, it was al in caps, as if they were trying to get his attention, “What is your go-to guilty pleasure? Binge watching odd shows, like I just binged watched the two season of Westworld, I also play a lot of ECHL.” the next question seemed to be one that was being asked by numerous time, since it was obvious that he and Zach were still seeing each other be he hadn’t posted about Taylor lately, “How has your relationship changed in the last year? Well... it’s changed a LOT. Everyone knows about Taylor, Zach and I and how the last 3 months have been,” Clearing his throat he started, “Taylor asked for a divorce... So it’s just Zach and I for now, until hockey season starts when we start playing in different cities for 8 month of the year.”

    Once he let that question sink in, and all the comments seemed to change to sympathetic, which meant he had to fish for more useful questions “Who do you dislike most in the group and why? And Who is your favorite person in the group and why?” Cringing at the thought of trying to figure who he hated, but no one was coming to his mind, “To answer the first question, no one yet, no one has gotten on my nerves enough to where I hate them, I mean it’s nice when you can say stuff without someone getting offended by the littlest thing when you call them out on their hypocrisies, but it’s really whatever now, haha” he let out the small laugh, “And to choose who my favorite person is? It’s given, it’s my man Zachary, he’s been my rock and my support through all this recent stuff going on, and I’m glad I have him in my life right now.”

    “Alright guys, one more question and then I’m heading to bed,” he announced to the live stream, numerous questions floated by, some he even already answered, “Do you regret anything you’ve done in the last six months? Wow, in the last six months? No, I don’t think so, so much has happened in the last 6 months and I can only think and thank everything that’s happened, cause it’s lead me down a path and I don’t want to look back.” Smiling at the camera, he waved, “Thanks for coming o my TEDtalk, and I will see you guys... when the season starts” He let out a small laugh as he ended the stream, getting up from the couch and going to bed, curling up with Zach.

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  • erinhasclaws
    25.04.2018 - 3 years ago

    Forgotten Memories || Self Para

    It would only have been a matter of time before Erin Monroe's identity had been figured out by the band of Death Eaters. Honestly, the young brunette was surprised it had taken this long - though she had a funny feeling that the pair who had just removed her from the cell were definitely going to make up for lost time. "The Minister's granddaughter.. What a prize," one of the Death Eaters snarled from his position behind her with his strong hands restraining both of her wrists, his grasp kept tight to ensure that she couldn't escape. The young woman wasn't scared of her fate; she knew and had accepted that it would likely be a painful one - but if her pain meant another of the order members could go on living, then so be it.

    Erin wasn't all that sure how long she had been locked in that cell with the other order members that had been taken, it made her wonder whether it was the length of time she'd been cooped up in a cell that had left her feeling weakened or that fact none of them had been fed or watered since they had arrived. Either way the brunette could feel herself weakening with each movement. Her skin was paler than usual and there were dark purple circles occupying the space beneath her eyes. The young woman's face had slimmed considerably, and was covered in a thin film of dirt and grime that laced the floor of the room, where she had been trapped.

    Soon enough, Erin and her two captors arrived in a small room in which a large hook hung ominously from the ceiling in the middle of the room, no doubt ready for the shackles that were attached to the woman's wrists, or she assumed. Her assumption was correct. Before she could even kick out or protest, the frail body of the woman had been lifted by the two Death Eaters and hooked onto the ceiling by her wrists, the metal bonds digging into her skin as she hung a few inches above the ground. "Just get it over with, will you?" Erin rolled her eyes, her voice laced with a weak impatience as she watched both of the Death Eaters scanning the tables that lined the edge of the room. Each one held numerous types of different torture devices. Both of the dark figures snapped their menacing gazes toward the brunette, their eyes darkening as menacing smirks fell over their lips. “As you wish..” One of the men spoke, flicking his wrist as he shot a curse in Erin’s direction. It didn’t surprise the woman that they would start by using one of the unforgivable curses, nevertheless she was not prepared for the pain that seared through her entire being as the light hit her chest. A scream was ripped from her mouth, her entire body tensing as the pain intensified.

    Closing her eyes tightly, the brunette young woman continued to scream out in pain - it almost felt as though someone had forced fifty daggers into her torso and were turning them all at once. As the Death Eater broke the spell, Erin allowed her eyes to open, tears trickling down her face as she peered toward the two figures while her entire being quivered, the pain slowly beginning to dissipate. She probably shouldn’t have taunted the pair but that wasn’t exactly Erin’s style. “Is that the best you’ve got?” She spoke breathlessly through her teeth toward the Death Eaters. She barely had time to react, before she was hit by two Cruciatus curses, one from each of the darkened figures. The pain was excruciating and all she could do was scream. Her eyes closed once again, though this time an image flickered through her mind - an image of a male.. Joshua Nolan.. Josh. Someone who she had only spoken to a few times yet.. The images she saw - felt more like -memories from what seemed to be a long time ago.

    A summer’s day, she walked with him, her hand in his and laughter spilling from her lips, she looked over at the male to see a dashing smile lacing his features. Erin’s heart swelled in her chest, pounding heavily as she began to lose herself in the memory, to lose herself in him. The young woman had never felt something like the way this memory was making her feel, what was it? Love? For someone she barely even knew? No, it couldn’t be love. Though as the memory continued, the words left the lips of a past Erin Monroe and were repeated from the male before a gentle embrace turned into a kiss. Snapping her eyes open, Erin was thrown back into the present and once again registered the excruciating pain that pulsated through her entire being. More and more screams flew from her until she found herself growing weaker, her entire body hung loosely from the shackles that bound her to the ceiling. “Stop.. Please.. No more.” She whimpered softly as her eyes slowly began to close, welcoming unconsciousness along with the repeating memory that now flitted through her mind.

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  • neromerc-blog
    16.11.2017 - 3 years ago

    The First Trial: Nero

    Nero awoke to the sound of knocking on his bedroom door. Baskerville was peacefully sleeping at the foot of Nero’s bed and didn’t seem to be bothered by the early morning awakening. They knocked again, and, after Emmett demanded that Nero get the door, he decided to see who was knocking. 

    “Styx get the door!” Nero yelled, not wanting to leave his bed.

     “Right away, Master!” the purple imp said in response, his raven wings carrying him across the room to the door. Nero heard hushed voices talking about some sort of outing before he heard the familiar voice of Nurse Patty.

    “Wake up Pumpkin, we have a little mission for you.” she said with hushed excitement. 

    “Why the bloody hell are you waking me up at 6:30 in the morning?!” Nero questioned, slightly annoyed. 

    “Doctor Reinhardt would like to see you. He says he’s really interested in what you can do, Pumpkin!” she said, pulling the blanket off of him. 

    “FINE! Can I meet you downstairs at least?” Nero said, really not wanting to be kicked out of bed. 

    After a few minutes of getting ready, Nero went downstairs to find both Nurse Patty and Doctor Reinhardt waiting for him. 

    “Good morning Nero. As you know, I am Doctor Reinhardt. We would like to take you out for a day to better understand...well, you. Nero, my boy, you hold one of the most powerful gifts of all the patients here, and I personally would like to get to know you for the bright young powerful man you are. Are you hungry? We can stop any where you’d like.” the Doctor said with a bright friendly smile of his face. Nero wasn’t really a people person, let alone a rich doctor person. He didn’t want to go anywhere except for his bed, but the doctor seemed friendly enough and Nero hated turning down a good meal. 

    “Alright, fine. I’ll go with you, But I want Steak and Eggs. Also, why aren’t any of the others coming with? I know there are others here a lot more powerful than me.” Nero said, trying to read the Doctor’s face for any hint of what he might be feeling. 

    “You see, while as the others may seem very powerful now, they have nothing on the potential that you hold: a vast demonic army, reuniting loved ones, a potential cure for death itself. You, Nero, hold the key to all these things. Don’t you see how incredible your gift is?” the doctor asked with that same smile on his face. Nero wasn’t sure if he should be freaked out or flattered. He looked to the man before him and felt his stomach rumble. 

    “What was that about breakfast?” 


    The trio left before getting into a black car. The car began to move and they all sat in silence. Nero felt very unsure of the “good” doctors intentions. The bit about the vast demonic army didn’t sit well with him. 

    They arrived at a very fancy restaurant that Nero couldn’t believe was open this early. As they entered, Nero saw only a few employees and a single manager. The whole place appeared to be closed except for a single table in the corner of the dining area. 

    “Reinhardt, table for 3.” The Doctor spoke, prompting the manager to nod and lead them to their table. They all sat and in a matter of seconds their drink order had already been taken. The early breakfast went over well with the only subject of conversation being Nero. The doctor asked about Nero’s family and friends, what it was like to grow up in Ireland, and many other trivial questions. After they had eaten they all got back in the car and the car began to move. 

    “Where to now? The movies?” Nero asked with a little sarcasm in his voice. 

    “No Nero, we did something for you, now you will do something for us.” the doctor had said with a very serious tone of voice. The car ride continued in silence until they pulled into a cemetery. The car stopped and everyone got out of the car. 

    “Why are we here?” Nero asked with both confusion and fear in his voice. No one answered, they all just began to walk. Nero tried to back away from them, but he felt a strong hand on one of his shoulders; it appeared the driver was coming, too. They all walked in silence before reaching a secluded area of the cemetery. 

    “Nero, we’ve seen what you can do with your demonic summoning, but now I want to see the other side of your gifts. I want you to raise the dead.” Reinhardt said in a very commanding voice. Nero was afraid, and he knew he had every right to be. 

    “Do it Nero. I’m not doing this for me. The faster you can fully use your powers, the better. We’re just here to give you the push you need. Now just breath, raise your hand and feel the energy leave your body. Feel the force of life and will enter the bodies of these corpses.” The doctor said in almost a reassuring way. The way a teacher would trying to teach a promising new student something. Nero did as instructed. He felt the energy, he felt the power find its way to the bodies.


    Nothing seemed to happen. 

    “Try again, Nero, you’ll get it right.” the doctor said, but Nero could feel he hadn’t failed. With that thought, as if straight from a cheap zombie movie, a hand shot from the ground. The creature pulled its way out of its so-called ‘final resting place’, and Nero felt a grin spread across his face.

    “Again, do it again. More this time! Push yourself, Nero!” The Doctor encouraged. Again, Nero held out his hand. He felt the power, but was very exhausted. His heart was racing and he could barely catch his breath.

    “AGAIN!” the Doctor yelled. Nero could hear and feel the corpses rising from the ground. 

    “YES, NERO! KEEP GOING!” the doctor yelled with glee. Nero’s nose began to bleed, before he felt the cold, wet grass hit his face. The last thing Nero heard was the doctor laugh and the corpses fall apart.


    Nero awoke in bed. It was late and the house was dark. He was covered in cold sweat and his heart was still racing. Nero fell back asleep; he was tired and just wanted rest.           

    #p:the first trial #t:1#p:self
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  • elilovesdragons
    15.09.2017 - 3 years ago

    Think Of Me || Self Para

    feat. @ravenillyria

    Elias' eyes glazed over as he saw his owl flying the red envelope over the table of the great hall. He knew it was coming for him, he had known ever since the sorting ceremony. As soon as the letter landed on the table in front of him, the young boy snatched it and ran out of the room, not wanting the rest of the students to hear the telling off that he was about to receive from his parents. The howler twitched in his hands, wanting to open and ruin the young boy, wanting to to reduce him to tears. Once he was out of the way of the great hall and alone, he took in a deep breath and let the howler open. "Elias Ridgebit!" His mother's words squealed from the howler in such a piercing voice that it made the boy cower and cover his ears. "Hufflepuff?!" The disgust in the mutated voice of his mother made Eli's heart thud heavily in his chest. "You are a disgrace.." The words rang through his head, bouncing back and forth as he crumbled to the floor. "Illyria MacMillan was sorted into Ravenclaw, her parents have been bragging to us nonstop. How could you let them have something over us." The name forced an image into his mind of the first person he had met, the young girl he had met on the train. They had had so much fun together, she was his first and only friend at the school, he could see them living out their years in school together, until now. His parents constantly spoke of a Mr and Mrs MacMillan with whom they held a rivalry like no other. Though he hadn't joined the dots when he met Illyria. "You will make this girl's life a living hell, you will better her in everything you do. You will prove to us that you are a true Ridgebit." The howler shredded itself to pieces as Elias sobbed into his hands.

    The next day, Elias had been walking down the corridor, dark circles beneath his eyes and a saddened expression on his face. He had heard his name being called and he knew who the voice belonged to. Eli didn't want to do this, he just wished that he never had to see his friend again, he hoped that he would never have to face up to what his mother had said. He quickened his pace as he heard her call out to him again, eyes glazing as he turned the corner. The corridor was packed, students lined the halls from every side and there was no way he could squeeze through. Feeling a hand on his arm, Elias closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm so sorry.." He whispered quietly before turning to face the girl. Had this encounter happened before he had received the howler, Elias would have had a huge grin on his face, spreading from ear to ear as he conversed excitedly with his friend. But now, knowing that he had to do something to make her leave him alone for the rest of their years at Hogwarts, his expression was filled with sadness. A lump had began forming in his throat as his unwillingly changed the expression on his face to one of disgust, anger and frustration. Though his eyes were filled with the sadness he held inside. "What are you doing?" He shouted past the lump in his throat, voice cracking slightly. "Get away from me." He shoved her back, causing her to stumble. "Why are you talking to me?" Elias snapped, his voice full of bitterness. "You think that because I let you in my carriage we're friends now?" A bitter laugh passed his lips. "We're not friends. You're stupid if you ever thought we would be." His words were sharp and cut through the air toward the girl.

    Elias watched as the girl froze, he noticed the glaze that now covered her eyes. He could feel his heart throbbing against his chest, every part of him was screaming for him to stop, to tell her the truth about his mother and to tell her he was sorry and that he didn't mean a word he said. But he couldn't disappoint his mother again. So he carried on. "Why are you still here? I told you to leave me alone." He snapped at the girl. "Go on. Go!" He screamed. Elias watched as the girl ran from him, he felt a change inside him as she did, an aching on his chest as he watched her leave. "Illy..." He whimpered quietly, too quiet for anyone but him to hear. Leaving the corridor, Eli ran toward the Hufflepuff common room and into his dorm. Thankfully he was alone, he slammed the door shut and collapsed to his knees, palms cupping each side of his head as the tears finally broke from his eyes, quiet sobs falling from his lips as he thought of the girl and of his mother. He had lost one in order to keep the other, though he didn't know if he had made the right choice. He didn't know, he was still young. Maybe there was a chance to make all of this right. No, there was no way to make this right... He had to keep up the act for the sake of keeping on good terms with his mother. No matter how much he didn't want to. The young boy felt terrible, his chest was tight, eyes burning, he felt sick to his stomach. Yet all he could think about was the girl whom he could have called his friend, who now would be calling him her enemy.

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