I just want some chocolate 🍫
I just want some chocolate 🍫
*smashes pots and pans together at 1am* it’s loving dio hours again
Benjis not coping with this sudden heat 🥵 there’s a 20 degrees (Celsius) difference from one day to the next
The light is coming to give back everything the darkness stole 💛💛💛
When my therapist says he’s proud of me I literally feel blessed
I’m ready to get weird and awkward around anyone I vibe with who’s down for me. 😬🤪
Lately, I haven’t even been into being a makeup artist anymore. I was so sure it was what I wanted to do, and I even left uni to pursue it, but now that I’m licensed and actively looking/have been looking for almost a year now, the more the idea of doing that for the rest of my life depresses me. I can’t even picture myself in a salon setting without getting disgusted and sad. I know paths change all the time, but if my family found out that this is how I’m thinking after all I’ve sacrificed and been through to get licensed…yeah, theres a reason I’m the family disappointment.
I can’t wait for Christmas break so I can finally just rest
how am i supposed to eat if wonho isn’t here to remind me? how am i supposed to sleep if wonho isn’t here to tell me to sleep well and dream of him? how am i supposed to think if wonho isn’t here to tell me to think of him?
I’m not even really sure where to start.
It’s just been four years being with someone who seems to always find reasons why I’m not enough, or I’m too much, or I’m otherwise inadequate in some way. I’m not doing enough in the relationship or I’m being too needy or I’m not there for him or I’m being too loud in front of his friends. Or I’m not physical enough, or I’m being too physical, or my anxiety is too much to handle. Or I take everything too much to heart.
I’ve given him everything and I’m still not enough. I don’t know what else I have left to offer but even if it’s mere bits and pieces of my fucking heart and soul, I have to try.
The worst part?? He knows my blog. He knows where I post my thoughts—they’re all RIGHT here. And he’ll probably never even read this.
I just feel like disappearing.
November 18, 2019 - has been a full blown life event.
tonight’s emotional whiplash: crying in the car after finishing my subtle knife relisten and then immediately heading into choir to sing 50s pop christmas arrangements
I’m mad at myself for letting ppl get me out of character//
im better than this shit.
I’ve been having this new genre of nightmares where really horrific just like viscerally not good shit happens to me but instead of fear or disgust I’m just embarrassed by it like “a snake has somehow lodged itself in my ear and I can feel it slithering inside my head god that’s so embarrassing haha just ignore that I’m still listening” or “well this meeting is quite an inopportune time for my skin to be melting off…maybe if I tell everyone it’s eczema we can move on without making a fuss” and i really cannot imagine that this reflects well on my mental health, but then again when it comes to nightmares what does
There is absolutely nothing better than your boy moaning your name when you’re going down on him
I spent 6 hours of suffering tonight, my chronical pains are getting worse and I can’t wait to do my medical exams for it…..I need someone telling me that what I have is not psychosocial but real physical pain. I can’t keep living while waiting for the pain mike this :’(
I really gotta start keeping shit to myself lmao
If I were to make an art/writing advice group chat, would anyone be interested? Focused both on fanworks and original?
(Obv not me dishing out advice, unless directly asked, but present the problem to the group. Might be easier to get it seen than in a post, where it’s quickly burried.)