Spread from a zine I’m working on. Centered around sex as a coping mechanism, identity&anonymity but still a wip so subject to change. Anyone who wants to contribute pics/poetry/feelings, dm me
What is Solitary Confinement Like?
TW: Torture, Mental Illness
He was of medium height, thin, wearing dark clothes, and his head was clean shaven. He appeared reserved and concentrated, but his speaking voice was warm, spontaneous, and direct, and his manner informal.
He wore glasses with thick lenses, and his glance was intense, his eyes pale blue; but when he took the glasses off, he seemed completely unfocused and dreamy. His speech was often interrupted by a slight but persistent dry cough, which was the only suggestion of illness about him in September 1983.
– Charles Ruas, Death and the Labyrinth: the World of Raymond Roussel (Chapter 9: An Interview with Michel Foucault, 1983), Translated from French by Charles Ruas
Cogito Ergo Sum
From Epictetus’s Fragments
“Every genuine work of art has as much reason for being as the earth and the sun.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Society and Solitude
@wordwulf #bubonic #instagood #tweetgram #photooftheday #instamood #writer #philosophy #music #books #memes #photography #artwork #wednesdayaddams #gif
So sometimes as a priestess you are reminded by the universe and the
ancestors of lessons that you learned while younger, and you can pass
the wisdom on. I have a student who reminded me of a moment when I
wasn’t taking care of myself.
I was 19, I was “healthy”. I was a Freshman in College, and I was in dance classes in the morning, physical acting classes, and I was an exotic dancer in the evenings and I either walked or biked everywhere because I didn’t have a car. So I thought I was doing alright being super “fit”. But I wasn’t. I would be working on my homework writing a paper or readings, and I would forget to eat. I would stay up late, and sleep in as much as I could until I had to get up for class not getting up in time for breakfast. Sometimes I would remember and eat after class, or I would go grab lunch, but in the evenings, it wouldn’t cross my mind. It got to a point where I didn’t register when I was hungry. So I may have had some muscle and I may have been 120lbs soaking wet with a 22 inch waist, but on my 5′ 8″ frame, that is not healthy. I wasn’t eating enough to fuel my body, or my mind, or my spirit.
It got to a point that one night I went to bed and I had a dream. I was walking around in this nebulous purple space, because you know, dream, and suddenly a tiny woman showed up. She barely came up to my chest, and she was wrapped in scarves, and elderly, and had coins clinking on her necklace bracelet, and scarf on her waist. She had several shawls, and a basket. She looked me up and down, and took a few steps back, and threw a pierogi at me from her basket!
“Eat!” she said, in a thick Eastern European accent, “Eat! You are too skinny!”.
“I don’t know if I even like pierogies!” I exclaimed.
“Eat it anyway!!!”
The tiny babushka glaring then watched me as I began to eat the pierogi. I finished it, and she threw another one at me, and another still saying “Eat! Eat! You are too skinny!” If I protested she would pelt me with pierogies.
(^^^This was the face she made^^^)
I woke up bemused, it was a strange dream and I found it funny. Then it became a recurring dream. I did some research into my family tree, I knew I was Slovenian on my mother’s paternal side, but I discovered from her father that we had a Roma connection in my great-great-great-grandmother. I considered this and interpreted the recurring dream as an Ancestor Visitation.
Why was she visiting me though?! Like a pierogi to the back of the head, I knew: I haven’t been eating. It took me a solid 4-6 weeks to figure this question out, and having this dream on a every night basis. So, I began to eat. I set alarms and times so that I would eat, I asked my roommate to remind me. I was still super physically active, but I also made sure to actually fuel my body. The dreams don’t really come any more these days, and they tapered off for the most part after a solid month of regular meals.
I realized wasn’t really listening to anyone in the mundane world, including my own body when they were telling me I should eat., I am really glad that sometimes the Universe, Ancestors, and the like intervene directly to knock some sense into you by sending a grandma lobbing dumplings at you. When it comes to caring for ourselves though, self-care isn’t always what is perceived to be “healthy”, it also isn’t doing things that are about pampering or coddling ourselves either, and the Universe doesn’t always intervene with bellowing babushkas bombarding you with buns.
Self-care takes time and has several pieces but has 2 main steps. First step is building support, choosing people that help you grow, challenge you, and truly have your best interest and care at heart. People that you love and trust. These people include building a friendship circle, spiritual support, and medical/mental health support (especially if your relatives are toxic). This is an active thing, and it is hard, it includes both sharing and being vulnerable and allowing yourself to be, and listening to them when they tell you something important. Self-care is also about building a relationship with yourself and really getting to know who you are at your core. It is also developing that core self. How you develop that and when depends on the person, but it is super important in becoming aware and self-actualized. This is a process and it is not passive, you are building yourself and who you want to be as a person.
Knowing yourself and giving yourself what you need, is part of what magick is about. It isn’t about the Ancestor Dreams or our abilities, it is about our wills, our ability to listen and connect with each other and ourselves and creating the person and the world that we want to live in by giving our minds, bodies and spirits the fuel to do it.
I needed this reminder because I had been feeling like I wasn’t in touch with my spirit or my deities, or my people or myself. Taking the time with this student reminded me of what I need to do to feel and regain that connection again for myself, and that knowledge will help me wield my will and manifest the things I want for myself and grow the connections I have.
I hope this speaks to you too on some level, and you are reminded that these things take time, and no matter where you are on your timeline you are exactly where you need to be. The self-care and listening are active life-time processes that we as witches and magicians practice. Blessed Be.