If you have veiny hands or arms please send me pictures bc I’ll legit touch myself to them
If you have veiny hands or arms please send me pictures bc I’ll legit touch myself to them
I walked swiftly through near empty halls approaching the murmurs of the crowd before me. My heels lightly clack against the tile as you hurry, not wanting to miss a single word and hanging on to every detail that you can glean from your coworkers’ hushed whispers. They have gathered by the stairwell. We have all been reluctant to inhabit these halls for too long, ever since the handler made their proclamation of war. Was this about a new board member? Has this timeline been severely compromised? ‘Are we facing layoffs? Hmm… Maybe someone broke the coffee pot in the break room again.’
Hovering near the edge of the crowd I peered forward trying to search for a familiar presence. Someone grabbed my arm lightly and pulled me deeper into the crowd “It took you long enough! I asked Nathan to get you like 12 minutes ago!” Naomi’s warm yet agitated voice welcomed me
“I got held up wrapping up my last report."
Naomi rolled her eyes tracing the outline of her glasses "paperwork can wait, you know this.”
"I know, I know. I just worry I’d forget" I said in a soft tone, slightly embarrassed as hushed echos reverberated through the stairwell when Dot emerged from the crowd and climbed the first few stairs with Herb only a few moments behind
“ I am so excited to address you all here today! As you all are aware we are currently under new leadership! Our first steps are to rebuild the commission after the havoc wrought by The Handler. .” As Dot takes a moment to look over the crowd I join with the others as they clap and cheer. I notice a hint of unease in Dots expression as she continues
“That being said, we have found ourselves understaffed and have decided to welcome in a new era at The Commission!"
I glanced over to Naomi who grimaced slightly as I frowned a bit in concern.
Herb interrupted in excitement "and with this new era we would like to extend to all of you the opportunity to explore new departments!"
Dot continued "Exactly! At this time we are currently requesting volunteers to assist in field work as we search for and recruit new agents.”
The room grew silent as the only sounds to be heard were a few soft groans and the shifting of clothes as a few people started to fidget anxiously.
“We believe doing this shall bring more valuable insights into all aspects of our operations and open up the chance to improve interdepartmental relations with this collaboration. We also have more positions available in supervisory roles as well as maintenance and security! If you have any interest in these positions we highly encourage you to fill out one of the forms waiting for you all in the foyer.”
As Herb and Dot finished their closing remarks and the stairwell began to empty I looked towards Naomi She, like several others, had just pulled a cigarette out of a small case and was just lighting it I furrow my brows in concern as I watch Herb and Dot converse quietly as they start making their way to the chairman’s office.
“We’re desk jockeys, not the fricking A team!” Naomi grumbled, turning to walk away unintentionally leaving me behind. I bit my lip as I began to step forward taking a slow breath as I approached Dot and Herb.
Herb perked up noticing me approaching from a rather stressful conversation I couldn’t quite hear. “Bea! It’s always nice to see you!"
I smiled sweetly hoping they wont sense my stress "Likewise Herb! Dot your announcement was wonderful!” I retorted as my hands pressed lightly together.
“Thank you, though I don’t believe everyone was as elatex as you were to hear it” Dot she smiled with a hint of somberness to her tone.
"Don’t be too hard on yourself Dot, change puts everyone on edge when it’s not followed with immediate ease after everything we went through" Herb spoke as he patted her arm.
“I was actually hoping to talk to you about that” I spoke up as Dot’s back straightened in attentiveness
“I would like to volunteer for field work. I understand it’s difficult and that missions may not always end in my return but I want to give it my best to be able to help the commission develop as much as possible until we get more permanent field agents.”
Dot smiled as Herb looked concerned at me “I really appreciate your eagerness but don’t you want to think this over a bit?"
Dot tilted her head back a little in contemplation as I spoke up "I understand that I may not be the best option for a one man calvary but I know I am more capable than others when we’re talking survival. I know I can handle myself."I grimaced slightly thinking back to stumbling upon Harvy’s blood pooling onto the control panel floor days before. "We don’t need to lose more in house employees to needless violence."
Dot hummed slightly before speaking up and pointing forward slightly "You know, she has a point. We also don’t have any advanced missions at this time so it would be a perfect introductory point.” Dot looked to Herb who shrugged reluctantly agreeing with a sigh
“Okay you do have a point.. Fine, we can start filling out the forms tomorrow but Bea, I need you to know that this isn’t going to be a cake walk. Your life is going to be on the line along with the timeline. If you feel like you’ve ch-"
"I’m not going to change my mind.” I interrupted with fierce determination clenching my fists.
Herb chuckled as he waved his hands at his side before reaching out for a handshake “Then we’ll make it official tomorrow"
I shook his hand confidently extending goodbyes holding back the anxiety building up in the back of my mind. I walked steadily down the hallways rounding a secluded corner. My shoes squeaked harshly against the tile as I abruptly stopped and leaned against the wall harshly whispering "Holy fuck what did I just do.” As my hands gripped at the back of my head.
The last few weeks haven’t been kind to me in the least. As things have progressed my coworkers have seemed reluctant to speak to me when I occasionally am in the office aside from a select few. Naomi and Nathan have been more curious if anything on what field work was like, trying to find details.upon how a temp would even manage to screw up such simple tasks.
“I think you’re over simplifying things a bit” I sighed as I sipped my coffee leaning against the counter.
“Its just we give them such simple tasks and these idiots don’t even read them! They just get caught up in the whole time traveler hero idea” Nathan groaned running his hands through his hair frustrated.
“At least you actually know what you’re doing. You’ve managed to get every task I send through completed” Naomi chirped in a swaying slightly as she drank some of her coffee. “Now if only they trained the rest of them the way they trained you” she retorted in a monotone frustration.
“To be fair, I haven’t been into actually kill someone yet. It’s mostly been recon, replace and recruitment.” I set held my coffee cup lower pointing towards Nathan raising an eyebrow.
“But you at least get everything done!” Nathan smiled with a clear underline stress and frustration. “Having to clean up after all of these fuck ups is more effort than just sending them in in the first place!” Frowning slightly as he leaned back.
Light foot steps halted for a brief moment as a light haired agent walked past us in a anxious hurry avoiding eye contact as they grabbed their coffee and left while Nathan and Naomi conversed.
I sighed and frowned, my eyebrows scrunched together with the frames mistaking my frustration for sadness. I pushed myself off of the counter and stormed out while Naomi glanced at me concerned.
I walked swiftly to the control panel. It wasn’t often I was working this shift but it was enough where what little rust I had quickly work off as I analyzed the screens. Glancing between the CR TVs writing down anything of note I notice something. A man with white slicked back hair sitting onto of a colorful bus with a melancholy look in his eyes. ‘That.. looks familiar. Where have I seen this face before?’ I glanced over to the control board biting my lip contemplating if i really should be doing personal research right now. My attention being brought to a light buzzing as a light below the screen with the white haired man turned orange.
I grinned as I swiftly scooted my chair to the control panel pulling plugs and replacing them with new ones while paying attention to the screens, all of them transitioned to different points in the recent timeline focusing around him. I squinted slightly 'I swear I’ve seen this guy before’ then It finally hit me as i saw the man with 2 more white haired men
'Oh shit!’ I slumped back down in my chair gripping my mouth as I stared at the screens. I didn’t know them well, but they were the first contact I had with the commission, bringing me here nearly 5 years ago. I grabbed my forms and set to work.
Hours passed as I analyzed the timeline on multiple screens trying to see where and what went wrong. A muted explosion erupted from one of the TVs as I looked over seeing one of the brothers nearly disintegrated in a matter of seconds. No orange light, I look over to another screen as one of the brothers retrieves a canister after their arrival from the fire place with confusion as it didn’t have a return slot.
'Wait. No return slot?’ I jot down more notes, trying to pay attention to the scene, there was a photo and coordinates I was going to have to search for later in the mission orders.
I glance over another screen before the familiar buzzing and orange light popped up once more. “Was that.. One of the Hargreaves? What the hell” I whispered more confused than before as the scene played out before me, grimacing with a wince of mimicked pain as the taller brother was stabbed in the eye. This is going to take more time, to analyze, clearly there was outside interference with the commission’s orders.
Hours later after finally returning home after some accidental overtime I nearly tore off my heels to relieve my sore feet. Laying on a stiff leather couch covered by a crochet quilt in my apartment I was barely able to stay awake. I grabbed the cheesy romance novels I picked up at in the check out line on my last grocery run. Trying to reread the same page for the 3rd time I groaned and rubbed my eyes. An abrupt hiss from the kitchen startled me causing me to nearly fall of the couch. I sat down the book on my coffee table as I swiftly jogged over to the canister rattled in the sink.
I reached down and examined the new silver canister and opened it to examine the newest assignment. “1985, protect Martha Ross” a photo of a smiling woman with big curly hair and a heart tattoo on her neck was attached. I examined it for a moment before setting it down and starting to prepare for my mission, finally removing my wig and letting my real hair down and the side of my head breathe.
Pants pants pants pants. The bane of my existence, especially being AFAB.
Finding pants even before I identified as trasmasc was already hard. I have pretty wide hips (a cursed 46″) and I’m trying to find pants to buy online, specifically cargo pants but the highest size I usually find are 40″ waist pants. I feel like the pants that go higher in size end up being so wide and baggy on my thighs and calves and I don’t really want that. It’s so difficult to find pants that fit me that taper at the leg the right way and my journey to find a pair that would fit usually ends in me feeling hyper aware not only my sex but aware of how much I weigh.. I really hate how wide my hips are and how they give me such pronounced curves and I just end up giving up searching and I just sit there sad, upset and dysphoric.
If any of y’all can recommend some pants that are, I guess, plus sized that taper down the leg well (and not be super baggy everywhere) I’d appreciate it so much!
I found 3x, 4x, and 5x shirts for a DOLLAR at Walmart today. We went because we get a few of our groceries there and just happened to find the shirts. I bought 5. I got my mom 2–because I wasn’t sure she’d like the style. I also picked up an XS for my sister-in-law for Christmas.
Drew myself as Lenna from Final Fantasy 5. I still haven’t gotten to it in my streams, but man do I look forward to it. If anyone doesn’t know, it’s one of the few Final Fantasies that ends up with 3/5ths of the total main cast being women. And you end the game with four characters, only one is male.This one also means something to me, as it’s the first art I put my new watermark on (made it myself, squee) and it’s also one of the first drawings I made that isn’t trying to hide my size… as much. I’m still coming to terms with my weight gain after the car accident two years ago.. But things like this help. I think it’s pretty!
I love being fat and trans and I love every single person who is also fat and trans💗💗💗💓💓💓
Idk Punk Boy Stuff™️
Pairing: Anthony x Plus Size Reader
Request: Anthony x reader at a Tony’s after party and the reader feels insecure. Using the quote “You don’t have to be insecure. I love you and no amount of slim girls could change that.” - @irlydontknoanymore
Word Count: 1.8k
“Woah Y/N you look stunning” I heard Anthony exclaim. I was standing in our bathroom and I had just finished getting ready for the Tony’s after party tonight. I felt really insecure in the dress I was wearing. I had bought it a long time ago and apparently I had gained a few pounds since I bought.
Anthony walked up to me and put his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek. I didn’t even thank Anthony for the compliment, I was too busy staring at myself in the mirror and seeing all the areas of myself that I didn’t like.
I had always had some self-esteem issues, I tended to compare myself to other people. I just never felt like the most confident person, but I was lucky to have Anthony as a supportive boyfriend. He was always so encouraging and loving towards me.
“You okay?” He asked me, noticing I seemed kind of zoned out. “No it’s fine, I was just thinking” I lied, putting on a fake smile. “Well then, let’s go. It’s time for everyone at that red carpet to see how beautiful you look” Anthony said, grabbing my hand as we walked to the car.
We arrived at the party after only a quick drive. We got out of the car and we went over to wait to walk down the red carpet.
I was so excited to have an amazing night with my boyfriend and I wasn’t going to let my insecurities ruin a great night.
Then I looked down the carpet and saw Renée, Pippa, and Jasmine all smiling together for the photographers. They all looked so gorgeous, their dresses perfectly fit their curves and they just looked stunning. I couldn’t help but feel like they looked better than I did. They looked amazing and I felt like I didn’t belong at such a glamorous event.
Then Anthony and I got signaled to start to walk down the red carpet. We posed at the first spot, putting on smiles for the cameras. I felt like I was just faking a smile. Anthony seemed to notice because he leaned closer to me.
“I can’t believe that I get to call you mine, you’re so stunning” he whispered in my ear. All of a sudden, this huge smile was on my face. Anthony always knew how to cheer me up, he was the most loving person I’d ever met.
The rest of the red carpet was amazing. Anthony would occasionally whisper sweet nothings in my ear just to make me smile. As soon as we got off the red carpet, I pulled Anthony into a hug.
“Thank you so much, just with all the cameras and lights, I felt really insecure and you were there for me, just like how you’re always there for me. I love you” I whispered to him. We pulled and he brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “Anything for you sweetheart, I’ll do anything so you see yourself as gorgeous as I see you” he said, kissing my cheek.
Then I felt someone hug me from behind. I turned around and saw that Pippa was hugging me. Renée and Jasmine were also standing next to her. “Hey guys, how are you?” I said, smiling.
“We’re good. It’s so good to see you” Jasmine said, politely. “All three of you look amazing” I complimented, truthfully. “Are you kidding? Have you seen yourself? You look like a model, Y/N” Renée said, looking at your outfit. I felt so flattered that they thought I looked pretty. “You’ve got a gorgeous girl Ramos” Pippa joked.
“Yes I do” Anthony said, kissing my cheek. “Now come on guys. We have a party to go to” Jasmine said. We all cheered as we walked inside. We walked inside and looked at all the decorations. Then the song that the dj was playing changed.
It mine and the girl’s favorite song. We always had girls nights and would always dance to this song. “Oh my god, it’s our song” Jasmine said, excitedly.
“Come on girls” Renée said grabbing our hands and pulling our hands to the dance floor. I blew Anthony a kiss as we all went to the dance floor. I saw him chuckle at how excited we all got.
We got to the dance floor and we all stood in a circle and we were dancing like our lives depended on it. We were having so much fun and belting the lyrics. Any insecurity that I had before was completely gone. I was just having an amazing time.
I grabbed Pippa’s hand and spun her in a circle as we were all still dancing. Eventually, the song ended and we all were exhausted. “That was so much fun” Jasmine said, and we were all out of breath.
“I’ll be back, I’m going to find Anthony” I told them, as I walked away to find him. I spotted Anthony standing at a table with Lin and Daveed.
I changed the direction I was walking to go over to him. I made it over to the table they were all standing at. “Hey! It’s Y/N“ Lin exclaimed, pulling me into a hug. “Hey Lin, what’s going on?” I said, as we pulled away.
“We were just talking about you” Daveed said. I had an unsure expression, “All good things?” I asked. “Of course, Anthony was just gushing about how amazing you look tonight” Lin said, smirking.
“Oh was he?” I asked, teasing him. “I always am” Anthony said, putting his arm around my waist and pulling me towards him. “Seriously, you two are made for each other. It’s almost scary how similar you are” Daveed said, laughing.
We all laughed and I felt Anthony kiss my temple and whisper “I love you” in my ear. “Alright, I want to go dance. Who’s coming with me?” Daveed asked. Lin held his hands up in surrender and said “that’s all you Ramos”.
Anthony looked towards me, looking unsure. I knew he was wondering if I was okay with him leaving. At this point, Anthony and I had been dating for five years and sometimes we could communicate without even talking. I smiled and nodded at him.
“Don’t worry, I’ll stay with her. Go give Daveed some dancing lessons” Lin joked. “Alright, if you insist” Anthony said, laughing as he walked away with Daveed.
“So I know Anthony would of hit me if I said this in front of him. And I mean this completely in a friendly way, but you look amazing tonight. You really do” Lin complimented me. “Aw thanks Lin. I mean that’s what everyone keeps saying” I said, mumbling the last part.
“What? Do you not think you look good? Because trust me, you look like a movie star” Lin said again. “Thank you that means a lot” I said, pulling him into a side hug.
“Of course, you’re like my little sister” Lin said, kindly. Lin and I talked for a little while longer and eventually Anthony and Daveed showed back up, out of breath. They were both arguing over who was a better dancer. Lin and I were busy laughing at how competitive they both were.
Now, we had been at the party for an hour or two and I was really started to feel self conscious. I kept seeing really pretty women in gorgeous dresses that complimented their body. I felt like I couldn’t compare at all, and like my dress didn’t suite me.
I was sitting at a table by myself. Everyone else was out dancing. I scrolled through my phone, trying to distract myself. “There’s my beautiful girl” Anthony said, sitting down next to me.
I smiled weakly at him. He interlaced our fingers and I leaned my head on his shoulder. I guess he knew that I didn’t want to talk about it right now.
I just felt horrible in my dress. It was kinda short and tight. It also had really thin straps so you could see all of my arms. I felt like I looked too big for the dress.
“Ant, can I wear your jacket? It’s a little cold” I lied. “Of course babygirl” he said pulling away from me and taking off his jacket. He placed it over my shoulders and I could tell from him eyes that he knew exactly why I wanted it. He knew me too well and I could never lie to him.
Then I heard a slow song start playing. “Come on, let’s go dance” he said, softly as he pulled me out to the dance floor. We got to the dance floor and he held onto my waist and I put my arms around his neck.
“You look gorgeous Y/N. I promise, you don’t have to worry about it” he whispered and I leaned my head on his chest. I rested there and we danced slowly to the beat.
The whole time we were dancing, he kept whispering sweet compliments in my ear and I felt so loved. I felt myself tear up a little, just at how kind and loving he was. I looked up at him smiling and I leaned in to kiss him.
After the song ended, Anthony leaned in close to me and asked “Are you ready to go home?”. I just nodded at him. I went back to the table to grab my purse and Anthony said goodbye to everyone for the both of us.
We got in the car and rode home in a comfortable silence. Anthony held my hand the whole way home.
We pulled into the driveway and walked inside. We both silently started to get ready for bed. We had both changed into our pajamas. Anthony was brushing his teeth and I was wiping off my makeup. Neither of us said anything until we were both done.
I turned to face him and I knew he could tell I wanted to talk. “Come on” he said, interlacing our hands and walking into our bedroom. We both sat down on the end of the bed. “I’m sorry if I was a bother tonight” I apologized.
He interlaced our fingers. “You are never a bother Y/N, I promise. Loving you isn’t some tedious chore that I have to do. I love showing you love and telling you how special you are” Anthony said.
“I know and I love that you do that. I just felt really insecure tonight. The rest of the girls looked so good and they had tight dresses that fit their body so well. I just felt like I couldn’t measure up” I explained. “But that stuff doesn’t matter to me Y/N, I love you for you. Just because you aren’t a size zero doesn’t mean you are worth any less” he said, kissing the back of my hand.
“Thank you, it’s just hard to not be insecure sometimes” I said. “You don’t have to be insecure. I love you and no amount of slim girls could change that. You are beautiful inside and out” he said, looking lovingly into my eyes.
taglist: @someinsanefangirl @laurens-interlude @geekycatlover @fanfic-addict-98 @romanoffs-heart @multifandomwriterx @andreasworlsboring101 @criminallyhamilton @imatyoursurrvicesurr @irlydontknoanymore @bechloe47 @nyxie75 @rileygene11 @daveeds-whore @trost-town @notebookgirl30 @teenag1jealousy
Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist for all my imagines!
＼(★ ^∀^★)／ First headcannon post! YAY!! Thank you!! I’m so excited to start writing this!!! I hope these aren’t too OOC ;;
Totally not my biggest fear for my first post LMAOOOO
- I’m going to be aiming for a post every day! Warning: NSFW Mentions, Oral, and power usage?
First up …
★ This man loves curves and isn’t ashamed to state it loud and proud to the whole group. He loves that he could hold you and squeeze you and not fear of crushing you with his strength or muscles.
★ His favourite thing about you? For sure that you have an ass that he could just squeeze and just could not keep your hands away from it. He loves to slip a hand into your back pocket as a sign of possession and to secretly grasp a handful whenever you are out and about.
★ He loves to bury his face in your chest when you cuddle close at night. When sleeping in the same bed he would happily have his head tucked under your happy to be completely enraptured in your warmth but if he was cuddling you his arm would bring you close to him and want to be the big spoon.
fat/chubby girls can also have different body types!
Poolside Vibes 6
8/27/20 - fitblr, weights, food, and Noom shit
Holy mother of fucking God, I am so goddamn tired. I have been working late hours this week. Vacay mode as soon as I finish work Friday. I also have a bit of a headache coming on, probs from the energy drinks I’ve been shot-gunning.
Today’s weight from all the intermittent fasting, is 245.9. I’m very close to my “Holiday party hot bitch weight.” I was dieting before my Mexico trip and I have pictures of me wearing this banging red dress. I look hot AF it this was the same night drunk me dead ass went up to the CEO of my Fortune 500 company and asked him for a selfie. He said yes. We are clearly both drunk, these pictures do not see daylight. But, damn I looked fucking fine AF before I had wine in my system.
This is my approximate “Holiday Party hot bitch” weight - 242.5. This is also the evening I almost flirted with my EVP. To be fair, he doesn’t look like his picture on Skype for Business. He is way hotter in person, and he has an old picture up. I just saw a hot man in a very expensive well-tailored suit who was also wearing Chuck Taylor’s and we made eye contact a few times so I was about to “network.” Thank God, I saw his wedding ring before I made an ass of myself. 10/10 would bang.
Now, because corporate has rotted my brain, and I’m now obsessed with YOY (year over year) analysis, here’s a comparison of where I was around the same time of year, last August - 243.5. Hey! Not too shabby. Almost there. I also love my Bluetooth smart scale. It was worth every goddamn penny.
Here’s where I was at 238.2, approximately 4 months after splitting with my ex of 4 years - the Ex. I had lost weight initially, but gained it back, and then gained more weight… like 8 more pounds than I weighed when I left THE EX - L. This is also around the time I fell HARD for the man I refer to as the Indian God - S, or rather reconnected. He panicked about commitment around Thanksgiving and we both were like moths to a flame. I acted out and was basically having LOTS of hookups around this time, and openly told S and how hurt I was and he was also hurt and worried about me.. and we were in a not a relationship, relationship. Everything I have ever told my therapist about, she has told me, yeah, there wasn’t a label and you weren’t monogamous, but you were effectively in a romantic and sexual relationship. S is terrified of commitment. We still talk. I wish him happiness.
If you’ve never read a post from me, you’re probs like, wow that’s really weird that there are talks of relationships and failed romances as time points… haha, I’m a stress and emotional eater. So those events are absolutely connected.
Here’s an overview of my weight since December 2018 to present.
Also, I call bragging rights today because I FINALLY caught up on NOOM!!!! I’ve been behind since almost day 5, probably… I started July 15th. I was at 253.1 on that date, so fuck yeah. Im doing alright.
Other random shit, I made a tofu scramble. I added jalapeños and bell pepper and “southwest” spices, aka a mystery seasoning packet I found in my fridge from when I was buying from Hello Fresh. The yellowish color is from nutritional yeast. All served with a side of an entire goddamn avocado. This is vegan. And super easy to make with extra firm tofu. I’ve been doing two meals a day, so yeah, this is a lot of food and higher in calories, but chock full of healthy fats. Don’t mind this short ass dress I was wearing. I love going pantless and need only be covered on top for corporate cuntery, aka me job stuffs. Enjoy looking at my fine ass thick thighs. Thick thighs save lives, y'all. ✌
Alright, my head hurts and I’m going to pop some ibuprofen and shower. Later, babes. This bitch is out. ✌
So this graphic novel exists…..
Fat people see the difference between how you treat “thicc” folks you’re attracted to and “fat” people you aren’t.
We see it more than you do about yourself.
day 152 in quarantine:
wearing a pretty summery dark academia outfit and eating chocolate hazelnut cheesecake whilst reading a dark retelling of the little red riding hood.
Felt cute while I was stoned the other day
The fact that whenever a plus sized woman posts a picture of themselves you always see 20 people chant the phrase “stop promoting obesity” is sickening to me.
If you’re looking at the world as if every woman is a walking advertisement then maybe there’s something else wrong.
why do some men think they’re saints for being willing to date a plus sized woman