When Confucius met Lao Tzu, Part 5
When Confucius met Lao Tzu, Part 5
Confucius : A proper gentleman does not ever allow himself to utter words of profanity. If you had been raised under the proper precepts, you would understand this.
Lao Tzu : Can we agree then that there are situations for which profanity would be inappropriate?
Confucius : Well, yes, that's what I'm trying to say.
Lao Tzu : But then couldn't the opposite also be true, that there are situations which *do* call for profanity? Where profanity *can* be appropriate?
Confucius : It is no matter. A proper gentleman refrains from using profanity *especially* when the situation justifies it. Lest he become... uncouth.
Lao Tzu : And what becomes of these unspoken profanities?
Confucius : What do you mean?
Lao Tzu : Do they disappear? Do they accumulate?
Confucius : What "happens" to them is irrelevant. They simply should not be spoken, not if one desires to be a proper gentleman. Then each individual can deal with his anger, his frustrations in his own way, and in any case that business is his own; others should certainly not be bothered with it.
Lao Tzu : I see.
Confucius you remind me of Zhao Yu and Lao Kang, two holy men from my province who, like you, too desired to be proper gentlemen. And in the pursuit of purity they subjected themselves to many austerities. Just as you deny yourself the release that profanities can occasionally provide, they denied themselves as well... though in a different way... They placed their focus not so much on profanity, but on sexuality. They sought to be devoid of any sexuality, which they equated to impurity. Any sexual release of any kind was forbidden. They sought to become perfect saints.
Confucius : And were they successful?
Lao Tzu : Yes, they followed this path to its ultimate conclusion. They became... perfect men of the church! Or at least one of them did.
Confucius : What of the other one?
Lao Tzu : Who, Lao Kang? Oh, he became very well known in the community...
Confucius : As a perfect gentleman often does...
Lao Tzu : ...for being the town rapist.
Confucius : Oh... Well what of the man of the church?
Lao Tzu : He died of prostate cancer.
Confucius : You are edging dangerously close to blasphemy Lao, be careful. Blasphemy is illegal in this province, you realize? Not that I would expect you to know the laws of your own country.
Lao Tzu : I always keep a safe distance Confucius, not to worry. Besides, I have full trust that should I ever cross the line, you would be the first to report me.
Confucius : Yes... um... *should* that ever happen...
Lao Tzu : You see Confucius, anytime someone pursues any particular virtue, he gives rise to its natural opposite. Zhao Yu and Lao Kang pursued spiritual health and morality with religious fervor, and thus became so acutely aware of their own spiritual illness and immorality, that they became sick and immoral respectively and each in their own way. You are not so different. In fact, I would venture to say that the profanity you suppress in your everyday life has found new and more perverse ways to express itself. And lo and behold, here it comes now!
Confucius : It's been a long time coming.
Lao Tzu : Eternally. And I am always aware.
Confucius : Yet here you are!
Lao Tzu : Naturally.
Confucius : But why?
Lao Tzu : Because fuck you, that's why. ☺️
Gentlemen please pardon the interruption; we are the owners of this establishment: I am Yao Chen and this is my brother Huang. We offer our sincerest apologies for the delay. The chef assures us that your roasted duck and chicken dumplings will be served shortly. Again, our apologies.
Confucius : Paranoid much Lao?
Lao Tzu : Confucius, you dirty scoundrel! You knew who they were! Another one of your little mind games - you've made a fool of me again!
Confucius : Now now Lao, you didn't need my help. I simply let you, how would you say, "abide by the nature of your function... until you... reached the end of your own fulfillment"! ** 😆I mean... I couldn't possibly take credit.
Lao Tzu : The credit is all mine I'm afraid...
Confucius : Yes! It is "because you do not seek it... that it is all yours"! 😆For once we are in agreement. 😄
Lao Tzu :
** Shout-out to Wang Pi