so this is where i’ll lie, it seems. this is my cross to bear. this is the hole in my chest, this is the break across my spine, this is the part where i tell you i have been left wanting. (you know this part already.) this is where i tell you that these teeth are sinking into my neck, but they aren’t yours, so perfectly square, and this is where i tell you that i am bleeding now, but not by your hand. this is where i am nothing but ash and dust where i wish i was seafoam, the sand turning to silk under my body and your eyes. this is the part where i hold you for too long outside your car and where you hold my gaze in a church gym and where i think about telling you that i can’t do this, that you could never hold me back, that i am putting walls between the two of us because without them it’s nothing but floodgates and green and your mouth. it’s always your mouth, and your gentle fingers and your laugh in an empty room. it’s your smile and your tears of joy and your frustrated scoff and your shoes on my front carpet. this is where i turn to face you and feel the ache. this is the part where i love you still.
For the ones who had to face the wrath of war, endure the loss of their loved ones, stood up with tears streaming down their face because they have a life to get back to, people to look after, the survivors, this one's for you ♡.
Everyday I sit outside and look upto the sky, mama said you have turned into a star and you hide behind the cotton like clouds . Everyday, I wait for you to talk to me, I wait for you to tear down the clouds so that you can come meet me , don't you love me anymore?
With a heavy heart, I go back to my room. My mom gives me a sad smile. I don't smile back. How can I? You took my smile with you and left me with an open heart wound and your memories.
You were feeding me, more like trying to feed me and then all of a sudden you vanished into thin air. I woke up with a scream stuck in the middle of my throat, my hands clutching the bedsheet, my entire body covered in sweat and my insides, hollow. You haunt me these days.
Today something happened , I found a letter on your grave. It said * I am disappointed in you, keep a hand on your heart, do you hear your heartbeat, that's where I reside. It's lonely here because now you're scared to let anybody in. The little girl that I nurtured, values souls more than physical presence. Who are you? * You took that little girl away with you, I don't recognise her any more.
I closed the letter, my vision got cloudy. Tears rolled down my cheeks and suddenly I was crying. I looked so ugly while crying, my mouth covered in snot, that scream came out as loud ugly sobs but for the first time since you went away, I felt alive .
It's been months and I still haven't figured out what happened to your little girl but today I noticed how the sky changes it's hues and how they blend in. Today I waved at the sky , kept a hand on my heart and I felt you wave back, I smiled.
The inspiration behind this one was the fault in our stars. Also the ending is as realistic as it can be. I really wanted it to be a happy ending because I loved augustus but the ending was what made me love the book even more. Reason? The baby steps. We all know how hazel is crushed ( so are we) but she's moving on. How everything slowly falls back in place and how augustus is alive in her heart. How she cherishes those moments and how she tries to live her life for her loved ones, for augustus.
i will love you until my lungs give out or the sun swallows the earth. i will love you when you’re far away or when you question your worth. i have loved you for so long, my heart can’t deny, i will even love you in my pain, in another life.
I love the way humans heal. We cry and we fight and we lay in bed for days. We feel too much and then not at all. We destroy ourselves brick by brick and smash plates against our walls just to build ourselves back up again. We change how we look and we pick up new hobbies. We make beautiful art out of our tragedies and rebuild ourselves with time. We make ourselves masterpieces with the rubble until the net earthquake.
saturated in the depths of sodden dreams
this smoke of seraph, painted with whispers
of nocturnal breeze
Psyche's long-lasting, effervescent heart of
gentle glass, benign to make me one with
infernal, shadow lives past
touch of an electric skull, remaining never,
like the shock of pallid sun
terrified by the languid, ancient ones
words that feel, touch, yearn for more
whence luster kneels before an altar
of astrologies undone
like longings forlorn among a kingdom
that spur along the darker road
arisen within domains of long-lost
held, soft, in arms that cannot know.