Despite decisions made, consequences are very rarely thought through
Pale green paint reflecting life planted within walls within walls
Light rebounds and retracts, eastward facing eyes beckon and taunt the waking world into dragging me out of the void, boil my blood and sing your songs,
I’ll wake eventually
Eons have passed since I first entered with gleaming eyes, a light soul and naivety radiating from my every cell
By now I can pick and choose which lens will distort my vision,
and though scarred and aged, my soul has evolved to bear greater weight - strengthened from sustained loads of stress and heartache and joy
Yet even now with experience in hand, it’s revealed to be only a single tool in a shed full of many; naivety can rarely be sweated out
It’s less like a safe haven completely hidden from harm. And more like the eye of a hurricane, surrounded by roiling masses of lightning and rain, with greedy winds ready to rip into your brain. I float, untethered. Dangerously close to the edges - they try to suck me back in
Unable to control the direction or speed, I bumble along with the storm
Experimentation, clashing ideals. Push and stretch one side of the wall then pivot and fight for your right. Strain and struggle but walls do not bend. They only crack and fall. So leave them be, at least they’ll hide your rebellious words from unchanging tradition
Risk discovery, so close to all too keen hearing ears. Be who you are, you’re safe? Plaster is thin and your dreams too loud (like everything else about you) You’re walking the very thin line between two dangers
Will you simply combust from exposure, pulling back the curtains to burn through your soul. Or implode? The pressure of your raging self hatred suddenly buckling under the unmovable indifferent cold of judgement.
Practice your balancing act, little monkey.
I’ve carved into you like I’ve carved my own skin. Leaving empty husks of memories, left only with the impression of emotion, evidence.