I feel as though my true self is always playing hide and seek.
She is only allowed to come out of hiding when my parents are not home.
She, hides behind pronouns and verbs and ancient ideas of what womanhood should be, do, and say.
She always gets caught sneaking in the back door.
I was always taught the only way to make someone love you is to make your true self disappear.
I long to be loved.
So She is finally the poem I will not allow myself to write.
“Religion is a fickle thing,” he tells me, with a lazy smile, as if we
weren’t both stubborn believers. Not quite in the way our backgrounds
would suggest or had hoped, but believers nonetheless.
There’s been trauma from religion,
There’s been strength from faith.
The enforced hasn’t benefited,
Only inhibited growth
To something more.
Something more than
Has always been,
The elusive “someday”
Of today’s ambitions.
Setbacks and ambitions both
Barely voiced over a whisper
To an almost empty room.
But God has been seen,
Held up before wandering eye
In celebration of the Sacrament,
In the laughter of companionship,
In the tear-stained faces,
Under tree canopy and open sky.
God has been seen in
Poetry stanza and
Song lyric,
Long nights under
Star-studded sky and
Various colored fairy lights.
“You’ve always been able to hold on to your faith and your beliefs,
while also listening to good music, enjoying concerts, and just
generally being a cool person. I really admire you for that, and this
jacket is a symbol of that.”
~A.G. 8/12/19
Seems my writing groove is back and it feels nice, like a heated security blanket on a freezing cold night. Yet it also feels like too little too late, nice try but it’s just not the same.
I don’t know how to express myself anymore
How to open up the door
How to leave behind the shore
To the great expanse of my innermost thoughts
All I am just feels lost
Misplaced
For too long and forgotten
In the clutter of the mess that I am
In the darkness of unopened shutters
In the dim light of my mind
And the flickering candles of wavering thoughts
All so unsure
Of the light and the dark
Of everything it contains
To burnout the wick?
Or to extinguish quickly the flame?
Everything in the darkness looks the same
Even the sound of my own name
Lost to the sound of the wind
Flickered out with the flame
- PM
THE SEEDS OF PREJUDICE
The seeds of prejudice
Planted deep in the soil within
Before the first harvest of rice
Alongside pride, its twin in sin
Lost the direction to its destiny
Wandered to the land of status
To be above others for superiority
Trample anyone beneath as cactus
Sweet words or favors only to the prime
Rude, swift and free with rage to the poor
Lofty in thoughts, raised itself in sublime
A coward, a bully to weave its way afore
- J. P. Lee
17 February 2020
I don’t know what to write
So if it’s alright
I just might
Relate some rhymes so tight
Rap skills
Powdered hills
Crushed pills
Nose trills
Purple haze
In every way
Bong hits
Joints and spliffs
Add some acid trips
That real Superman shit
Now watch my mind expand
Like a giant rubber band
Or like the Big Bang
Until my brain hangs
Bang Bang
With your every
misguided step, you
snap our spines.
We tried so hard to
help you but
you jumped from a
a cliffside of
roses into a
heart of thorns.
Sympathy drains from
our bodies as
if you
cut us
open and it’s
replaced with
mutually assured apathy.
It is
ok, everything
will be.
See the sea as it recedes and recedes
I wait with the breeze for any relief
you are the tide I am the reef
I am flippant you are steadfast
how long, how long shall we fast
for I know how to make my hunger last
Either way,
I will be okay.
I will make it so.
Either way,
It will all end and somehow
Make sense as the curtains close.
Glory will be shed
And land upon our heads
By rain of splendorous rose.
There is much to be sad for,
But oh, there is more to be glad for,
Upon this petaled road.
J. K. L
experimental princess
insanity of genius
bridges bonds between
transcendental goddess
brilliance of wow wow wow
magical fairytale beautiful
natural raw so powerful
oh wow wow wow oh
amazingly unbelievable
incredible from another dimension
ethereal mystical poetic tension
attachment association and
wow wow wow wow wow
standing romancing dancing
twirling swirling circling
relevance of interelatedness
interdependence of the planets
queen of sonic solar sytems
musical dramatist surreal
oh wow wow wow oh
angel of inspired artistry
wow wow wow how
speechless breathless
depths of unbelievability
how profound can
a divine goddess be
how wow wow wow
caught up in the ethereality
sound sound sound
of everything kate
came to achieve and to be
diverse musical virtuosity
Copyright @followcb | February 16, 2020
Thank you for your brilliance Kate Bush:))
I curse God until
I’m begging to be saved
and I guess it’s the same thing
when I curse romance
until my heart is aching in an empty room
and I’m wishing that I was in love.
What good is independence
if it just leaves you lonely?
– when the loneliness catches up // h.w
It’s nice to be greeted with a smile, a hug, a kiss; but his attempt to blind me with distracting sweetness only drives me further into my wretched pining for you. He’s mild and courteous, but his docility is transparent to me, and I don’t trust him.
I lament your sharp tongue, I grieve your moodiness. I never questioned your character, even on your bad days. I knew who you were. Your attitude, your temper, your impatience…how morosely I miss them. You wear your heart on your sleeve, even when it’s ugly. A thousand kind gestures from him are nothing against one overwhelming outburst of emotion from you. He is made of paper; you are made of flesh and hot blood and a fiery magnetism that draws me in still. I’ll never get over you.
—strawberries (excerpt #168) from “Losing My Virginity and Then My Mind”
was it the air that bro-
ught you here from the
mausoleum to my red-
start throat? or was it—
your conviction? from
that arch, beneath the
dome: to press against
your camera, crush your
ribs with my arms; twi-
light soaking your face.
Bring all the memories and lessons love
But don’t leave in between
Forever is not what I want
But an ending will be loved by me forever.
mirrorworld12
