“Changing Woman’s [asdzáán nádleehé] twin sons [the twin war gods] had been born for the purpose of ridding the earth of the Monsters who were killing all the people…” - #LelandCWyman 🌟
●purification of the mind, body, heart & soul… #RISE 🔼♊°•○●🌟
●what monsters in your life do you need too get rid of?👊👊
●if you got a dream, fight for it!💥 #MonsterSlayer #Gemini #warrior #vibes #blessed #mood #positiveenergy #l4l #f4l #witness #risingouttadarkness #ROD #rodriquerussell #justdoit #yoga #actor #actorslife #fightclub #nativeamerican #gymshark #dance #navajo #peace #love
*Song by: X Ambassadors “Renegades"🎶🎶
*No Copyright Infringement Intended https://www.instagram.com/p/B810gEAlq5z/?igshid=1an8ncjx3dugo
Be patient with yourself. Improvement takes time, love takes time. You deserve your grace and understanding. Don’t let the negative thoughts make a home in your heart. You are a beautiful human being, and the world is better with you in it. Deep breath, wide smile. You got this.
Today is a wonderful day. I have finished setting goals for myself to improve myself. I am almost ready to start running again. I have all these ideas of baked goods I want to make. I can reliably wake up early enough for a parking space at the train station near my house. I got myself some legos and built them on my day off to get some real relaxation. Next week, I plan to get out of work to see a mediator to get the divorce filed. Once that is taken care of, I want to spend some time out with friends, maybe get a deck together and get back to playing Pokémon TCG. There are so many positive things to look forward to as I stare at the moonlight over the city. I hope you are having an equally awesome day, and if not, I hope your day gets better, you deserve it! (2/19/2020)
This was actually written in only 5 minutes. I feel like most poetry is. That is, of course, if this even is poetry. Once you get in that feeling and everything zones out it becomes so simple. I like to just fade off into positive thoughts. My first thoughts are always the topics. I think it is because I had roses on my mind. And trust me, I need the heat back ASAP. I like stories of development. Growth. There is different factors to an individuals growth but they all depend on how you use them. Good or bad. Always a choice.
I spoke with my therapist today. He finally opened my eyes. Well, I’m still not 100% there, but I’m getting there. I’m taking the steps. I will be shutting my phone off for the next two days, and taking the steps forward to loving myself again.
I think shutting my phone off, and focusing on MYSELF for the next two days, will really help me grow as a person. I realize I stopped loving myself somewhere down the line in 2019. Certain people came into my life, and I became very co-dependent, which turned out to be a very damaging experience. I felt lost and alone all of the time, even when I was surrounded by people. That’s because I was surrounded by the WRONG people.
I’m focusing on loving myself. Doing things I like again, that bring me happiness. The little things, traveling, writing, painting, meditating, and spending time with people who influence me in a positive fashion.
Removing my social media, except for Snap and Tumblr, has already lifted a lot of dead weight off my shoulders. Because I look at these platforms as a creative outlet. Not looking at my phone will 100% seal the deal for me. I will grow from this.
The pain from losing my best friend will never go away. It’s a pain that I don’t expect anyone to understand. He wasn’t just a “bird,” he was my companion. All I have been thinking about is how much I miss him, and how I wish I could hold him one more time. He was always there for me. If I was crying, he would wipe my tears away with his beak and give me kisses. He would make me smile with his silliness. He looked at me as his mother figure. This truly has broken my heart so badly, I feel as though nothing can hurt it anymore.
If you took the time to read this word vomit, I thank you, for hearing me out. Hopefully you have also found some enlightenment in it. Thank you to my therapist, Dr. Q. Thanks to those of you that have been talking me through this. I will be back in a couple of days, stronger, and at peace. I love you all. It’s time for growth.