This a very important topic, which will undoubtably come up more then once, I’m still learning too, and I will want to share it all with you. So, everyone struggles with self-love in one way or another, it’s not easy, and it takes determination and growth. When you think about yourself you may feel…
a) Not pretty enough
b) Not skinny enough
c) Not fashionable enough
d) Not popular enough
e) Not funny enough
f) Not happy enough
g) Not confident enough
h) All of the above?
So many of us feel an abundance of negative things about ourselves when we never ever should. We aren’t put on this earth to hate ourselves, or pick ourselves apart, or forever be unhappy in ourselves or our own bodies. You see many of us forget the greatest thing we have; life, this life, this world, the people that surround us, the endless possibilities. In life we are our own soulmate, we are who we have to live for the rest of our lives, so we should love ourselves for the rest of our lives too. This is an extremely difficult thing for us to grab a hold of or feel for more than a moment or two, but its all about understanding your self-worth.
I’m someone who constantly criticises myself, in every way shape or form, but more recently I’ve come to understand my worth, what I deserve, and why I should love myself. What is most important is surrounding yourself with people who show you this, friends and family, even lovers. People that lift you up, bring you positive vibes, those that are there for you and want the best for you. It is so so important to then recognise those that don’t, this can take time, time that can damage you, but you will learn, and you will realise, sadly sometimes it does take time and being hurt to get there, but for the next time, you’ll know so much more. Some people will constantly criticise you, bring you down, rarely praise you, and you’ll start feeling a bad vibe, being around them won’t feel right, and you don’t want this. We can often struggle to see this, some people won’t struggle and for that well done, but a lot of us will stick around because of what the person means to us, but what we aren’t taking into account is what it means for our mental health. Once someone becomes draining for you, and doesn’t make you feel loved or powerful, or just great for who you are, it is time to let go. That’s not fair on you, that’s teaching you a form of self-hate, the more someone will say something bad about you the more you will start to believe it, then it becomes self-hate, you’ll add to your list of negatives and feel down. Those around you aren’t meant to do that, yes, some criticism is good it can help, but to an extent. You shouldn’t feel like you can’t be yourself, that’s the real key, being yourself and learning to love yourself for it, not hate, not despise.
My point is cut out toxic people, and if that takes time its ok, you’ll learn more for the next time, everyone is different, and we learn out our own pace. Second to this is being positive about yourself, less negative thoughts, more positive, find the good in you! There is good, don’t ever think there isn’t, it’s all about mindset. We are influenced heavily by social media to look a certain way, be a certain way, to be doing certain things, but cut it out. Spend less time on that, it isn’t healthy, who you are and what you are doing is already perfect, because it is you. I myself have been influenced by all this, but we all know it just makes us feel a whole lot worse, and we don’t want that negativity from others, let alone ourselves. Think yourself as beautiful, because you are, you don’t need to change, but you can always improve. Change can be positive, like loving yourself more, it’s all about doing things for positive reasons which then have positive outcomes. It’s all about ditching negative thoughts.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
YOU ARE STRONG
YOU ARE CONFIDENT
YOU ARE SMART
YOU ARE POWERFUL
YOU ARE LOVED
AND YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU WANT AND SUCCEED
Positive affirmations, positive thoughts, self-confidence, self-love. You need to see yourself as a priority and look after your mental health, not personally attack it. It can be difficult to change mentality and start loving yourself, no doubt, but realise how much you are worth, what you don’t deserve (like being constantly criticised for being yourself), then you will learn to love who you are. Love everything about yourself, all your quirks, flaws, beauties, all of it. Because it’s true, if you don’t love yourself, how can you love anyone else. Like I said in my blog post about positivity, self-love is centred around positivity and changing those negative thoughts. As humans we are criticised enough by others, we don’t need to do that to ourselves. You can be fulfilled in who you are today, who you are right now, just take a moment and think about all you have achieved, compare yourself to last year, think about all the good you have. Now go look in the mirror and love what you see. Don’t look at the imperfections as bad, they are a part of you, and you are far from imperfect. Be your own hype man. Love everything you see, respect every way you feel, be confident and comfortable in you. Because you deserve that! It will take time and that’s ok, you’ll get there, each day that you chose self-love is progress. Find something positive about yourself every day, do that, and overtime you will think and feel differently. But don’t think you can’t struggle on this journey, you sure can, we are all stuck in our ways, our mindsets, our thoughts, so it’s like training your brain to be and feel like a better you.
Your own love is more important than what anyone else can give you, because it is everlasting, it is constant, and it is what helps you greatly in being happy, it really does.
So, take time for you, reflect, practise self-love in any and every way possible, the more you try and more you do, the more benefits you will achieve.
I will talk again about this, so don’t fret, and if there’s more you think I should touch on, send me a message, your input helps.
Now remember, you deserve love, your own love, before anyone else’s.
