Mushitarō: Is this your plan B?
Ranpo: Technically, this is plan P
Mushitarō: Plan P? Is there a plan M?
Ranpo: Yes, but I marry Poe in plan M
Poe: I like plan M.
every group of friends should have:
a mean bisexual
an even meaner lesbian
token straights that are on thin ice
an astrology bitch who has everyone’s charts memorized
and a short king
Headcanon: Ranpo just randomly mentions a person's kink every time he meets them for shits and giggles. He looks at Dazai, and says: "Oh, bondage? So you're into that sort of thing... choking as well. You're a bit of a sadist, huh?"
For Kunikida, "you're a service top. You're surprisingly really kinky~"
For Chuuya, "Degradation and being tied up. I can see why you and Dazai get along so well—"
For Atsushi, "Praise kink. You're vanilla as hell."
For Akutagawa, "A virgin. Maybe talk to Atsushi-kun so you could solve that problem together—"
Dazai: If I die, my funeral is gonna be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited.
Ranpo: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die.
I can definetely picture Louisa and Lucy suggesting Poe to make a prenuptial agreement before marrying Ranpo. But he always turns them down because there’s no way he’s ever divorcing his goth personal american writer, aka the dude with the hentai protagonist hairstyle.
Ranpo: It’s not illegal.
Atsushi: [staring into Ranpo’s apartment that is filled corner to corner with various sweets and snacks]
Atsushi: It’s just…there’s so much—
Ranpo: But it’s not illegal
ranpo wants to impress you
BSD: Love is War? 100 Followers Event Genre: fluff Word count: 1407 Synopsis: Due to external factors, he wanted to remind you that he was in fact 26 years old. a/n: I wasn't sure how to make this suit Ranpo's personality, so I decided to twist it a bit (because I have been longing to write a jealous Ranpo) so this is what happened HAHA taglist: @ravenina14
He knows you like him. He knows that you know that he knows you like him. Yet in spite of all that, nothing of significance has happened at all.
Ranpo always enjoyed how you acted around him. Although subdued, your actions spoke volumes of how much you appreciated and cared for him. But recently, he noticed that your attention was no longer focused on him.
And Ranpo didn’t like having what’s supposed to be his being shared with anyone else.
It doesn’t bother him that you were close and quite affectionate with the other members of the Agency since he was confident that you only regarded them platonically and vice versa. But it’s a totally different story when the same was true for some stranger.
It was the new assistant of Minoura’s. He was a handsome young policeman who graduated at the top of his batch from the academy, was brilliant in many ways, and above all had this perpetual smile whose brightness seemed to rival that of the sun.
The first time that policeman entered the agency, Ranpo saw your reaction. It was unmistakable – you were enamored by him. The light in your eyes and blush on your cheeks gave it away.
“Anyone would get a bit flustered when they’re with someone attractive,” Yosano told him plainly.
“...so you think he’s attractive?”
“Why? Isn’t he?”
Ranpo huffed in response. She found it somewhat adorable whenever he would act up like this, but at the same time she felt a little sorry for him. He was never that good at handling these kinds of emotions. Just because he knows what’s up doesn’t mean he’ll accept it.
“I’m sure it means nothing. Y/N is just impressed by that detective, so no need to get jealous.”
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
But Yosano’s words were stuck in his mind anyway. At first, he thought that she was right at it was just a passing fancy, nothing more. But every time that policeman would come over there wasn’t a shortage of compliments coming from either party. It was getting annoying, really.
Just what did that other guy have? What did you see in him that it seemed like you forgot Ranpo even existed? It’s true that his skills of deduction are unmatched by anyone no matter where in the entire world you look, and everyone knows that – including the both of you. Yet it felt like none of that awed you anymore. Your eyes were instead on some ordinary guy. Agh, he hated this feeling.
...was this what it meant to be insecure?
Of course he could just ask you directly or deal with that mediocre detective himself, but that would be like admitting that he was jealous of him – which he was not. Ranpo is a straightforward person, but sometimes when his emotions get in the way the words come out quite brusque.
“You seem awfully chummy with him.”
“With who...? Ah, you meant Hiroshi-san?” So you were already on first name basis, huh?
“He’s just really nice, that’s all. I guess I’m comfortable around him since he’s both friendly and reliable.”
Ranpo finally understood what drew you to that policeman. He was reliable and acted his age. That’s why no matter how hard the great detective tried to demand some attention from you, it never worked. Now he wanted to prove to you that he was just as reliable too: that he could be someone by your side whom you could depend on whenever you needed to.
He had to remind you who you fell in love with first.
You were currently reading a rather chunky case file when you felt thirsty and struggled to grab the unopened drink sandwiched between your forearm and waist. Suddenly, you felt the thing slide away from you.
Ranpo opened the bottle for you and even offered to hold the files while you drank. You just stared at him in awe the entire time – who was this man in front of you?
“Th-thank you, Ranpo-san.”
You knew he was nice, but he rarely did “troublesome” tasks. He literally left the comfort of the couch to help you. Although the act was appreciated, you decided not to think about it too much since you weren’t ready to get your hopes up for nothing. But soon you’d notice that he’d do more things that made you only more confused.
The list included the following: opening doors for you, cleaning up after himself, and even complimenting you more often (which is the most surprising, in your opinion, since he rarely praises anyone). You felt like a parent who finally witnessed their son grow up, but at the same time you were beyond disturbed. What the heck was happening?
One time you were waiting for Ranpo to finish a phone call when you were on your way back to the Agency. It just so happened that you were in front of a store that sold trinkets, and you found yourself staring at one of the items on display. It was cute, you thought, but even if it were a nice thing to have it wasn’t exactly necessary.
“You want that?”
His voice caught you off-guard. “Ah no, not at all. I was just thinking it was cute.”
“Well what are you waiting for? Let’s go buy it.”
“W-wait, I don’t have enough money-“
“I didn’t say you’d be buying it.”
As the two of you went inside, he immediately talked to the shopkeeper and paid for the thing. You did your best to stop him but he didn’t even budge. Why was he being so persistent?
This was a far cry from the Edogawa Ranpo you grew to love and coddle. It’s not that you hated it – if anything, you loved it – but it was just so foreign to you that you couldn’t help but be suspicious.
“Ranpo-san, please be honest with me.”
You stopped in your tracks and stared at him with earnest eyes. As much as you wanted to just ignore all of this, it was so hard to keep your emotions in check. You could just continue daydreaming and interpreting his actions in that way, but you knew that you needed to hear his real and final answer.
“Everything you’ve done for me, just- just what does it mean? I-I know you already know I like you, but I honestly can’t tell if you’re just teasing me or...”
Your grip on the wrapped trinket tightened as you braced yourself for his response.
Agh, you couldn’t take it. Your eyes fell onto the pavement.
“I guess it worked, no?”
You couldn’t believe your ears. At your surprise you snapped your head upward, only to see a smirk on his face. “W-what do you-“
“That’s what you get for ignoring me like that.”
Ignore? What was he talking about?
“Jeez, why’re you so slow?” The puzzled expression on your face wouldn’t go away, and Ranpo couldn’t wait any longer. His eyes opened as he took a step closer to you.
“I also like you, Y/N. But since you’ve been so distracted by some common guy, you didn’t notice that.”
You noticed a pink color start to appear on his cheeks. If his were a faint pink, yours must have been a vibrant scarlet. “Th-then-“ By instinct you lifted his gift to somewhat cover the lower portion of your face. It was so embarrassing to get so flustered like this in front of him. “D-does that mean we’re...”
“Dating? Of course. What else should it mean, Y/N?”
It was only a matter of seconds before his soft and serious tone turned into his usual mean and playful one. You missed the former already.
“...which means you shouldn’t act like that with him anymore, got that?”
His remark confused you, but realized what he meant once you saw the pout on his face. You laughed louder than you intended to which caused him to frown even more. “Don’t tell me this is why you-“
“Let’s go already. We still have work to do, you know.”
Your mushy heart wouldn’t let you stop smiling the entire walk back because you finally managed to walk beside him with a much smaller gap than before – both literally and figuratively. You couldn’t be more glad that now you know he felt the same way, too.
Fukuzawa: *leading an important ADA meeting*
ADA members: *listening intently*
Atsushi: *trying to listen but is bothered by Ranpo*
Ranpo: *casually organizing the photos in his laptop*
feel free to request fluff, angst or smut (yes, I will accept filthy shit <33)
please keep in mine that I only write fem!reader
requests are usually a day - two days apart.
and if you want, feel free to message me about random shit :)
文豪ストレイドッグス (bungou stray dogs):
vote kunikida and ranpo for miss universe RNN
a/n: just a short pick-me-up drabble this time :)
"Why do you always have two candies on you, Y/N?"
You were surprised at the sudden question. "Why do you ask, Ranpo-san?"
He was always curious about you, although he would never admit it. Ranpo observed everything: things you liked, things you hate, and strange little things you did like this candy-in-pocket habit.
A small and gentle smile crept up on your face. "They're for clients who need a little morale boost. I also sometimes eat one when I'm sad. But sometimes a client needs more than just one candy, so I give them both. Works everytime."
Those words echoed in the detective's mind when he saw you crying silently in the emergency stairs.
A mission had gone awry for you and its weight was much heavier than what you were expecting. None of it was your fault at all, yet you couldn't avoid blaming yourself from what happened. The shame was too great that you prayed none of the other members saw your tears.
You thought you heard some shuffling just behind the door, but even through your hazy vision you could clearly see that there was nobody there. Strange, you thought, and the sudden disturbance made you decided to fix yourself and go back to the office.
Fortunately there was nobody there to see your bloodshot eyes and flushed cheeks. The fear dwindled down as you approached your own desk until you noticed some small objects placed in the middle of it. Once you saw them clearly, tears once again threatened to fall - but this time, out of joy.
They were three candies of your favorite kind and flavor.
Have these memes I made for no reason
It's the extinguisher btw