#rant post Tumblr posts

  • I feel physical PAIN whenever I think about the possibility of destiel not becoming canon.

    PAIN

    Catch me dying this autumn either way, canon or not, but if they don’t confirm it

    I WILL HUNT THEM DOWN


    I mean, I wouldn’t for real but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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  • I feel like the one person I want to talk to hates me even though we were having a normal conversation and they didn’t say anything different and I feel so shitty for ignoring them now but I don’t want to make them mad and i just want to talk to them but I cannot handle being yelled at and they’ve never yelled at me before but if I make them mad who’s to say that they won’t anyway yeah how’s your night?

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  • I feel like shit

    Two people that I talk to on here dont even follow me so they will never see this.

    And we were good friends, or at least I think so. But they obviously dknt care about me

    And I spend 4 hours at work when I dodnt need to be their beucase a family wouldnt leave, and they just stayed in a hottib

    And their are these forms I have to fill out and apparantly I dont have until the end of the month I have until the end of the week!

    And beucase I changed houses for the summer I have the means to self harm again which is a bad thing

    This is a rant post dont you dare reblog it

    #dont reblog#rant post #wt self harm #self harm tw #self harm
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  • I have some very important exams starting from Tuesday and so far in the past week I have:

    Bought for my exams

    • 12 pens
    • 6 pencils (2 are mechanical pencils)
    • An extra case with points for the mechanical pencils.
    • 3 sharpeners
    • 2 new brand erasers
    • A stapler
    • An extra ruler
    • 1 new geometry set but I also have extra peices from ones I had before.

    On top of hoarding stationary:

    • I’ve checked my calculator several different unnecessary times to make sure it is still working and will continue to work until after my exam.
    • Also checked and rechecked the exam timetables constantly even though I know the dates and times by heart.
    • I’ve packed and repacked my pencil case constantly to ensure that I have everything I need and won’t forget anything.
    • Studied to the point of exhaustion and then completely ignored studying for a day only to loose sleep by guilt tripping myself over it.
    • Had 2 panic attacks.
    • Obsessed over what I’m going to do with my future if it all goes south.
    • Lost my appetite and have been nauseous this whole week.

    I can’t wait for this month to be over 😔😪😭.

    Exams sucks and so does anxiety.

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  • I know no one cares but I’m gonna talk about something that made me really upset.

    I popped into Bad’s stream today to find out he was sleep deprived (he had only slept one hour the night prior bc he was editing a vid for Skeppy) and trying to tell a story or just engaging with the people in game while people were literally s e x u a l i z i n g him. Are you guys serious? He was clearly uncomfortable and was asking his mods to ban people but people kept doing it. Spamming and making fun of Bad is annoying and unfunny but literally sexualizing Bad is just fucking wrong. Don’t even do it as a joke, he doesn’t like it. Jesus Christ, y’all, please.

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    #rant post#my art#bbh#badboyhalo #bad boy halo #im really fucking upset #he doesnt deserve to be treated like this guys #he was just trying to stream you fuckos #i wasnt there at the end of the stream but when i was there it was GROSS
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  • Ok so i told my therapist about my disordered habits and how the fuck am i supposed to cope with that

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  • my parents restrict my screen time and expect me to do other things. no mom, i can’t go outside, its 101 degrees outside. no dad, i can’t go swimming, i’m on my period and can’t wear tampons. no mom, i can’t read a book. i’ve read every book in this house twice. no dad, i can’t do a puzzle. i’ve done every puzzle in this house three times. no, i can’t just go draw/write. i have no inspiration. i’d just be sitting and staring at the paper. i quite literally have nothing to do. don’t fucking tell me this house has “so many things to do”, it doesn’, and i can’t just do something twice in a row, that’s boring and not stimulating.

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  • Imagine if people from every nook and corner of the globe started opening the can of worms of atrocities or egregious injustices unfolding in their own backyards muzzled or obfuscated by the ruling government to retain its clout–the scenario would render us shuddering.

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  • my brain rn: all of your partners hate you, your mom wishes you weren’t born, you annoy everyone you talk to, you don’t know when to shut up but you shouldn’t be talking in the first place because nobody cares, you shouldn’t cry nothing even happened, you’re overreacting, people are going to think you’re begging for attention, you don’t deserve your friends and followers, you should deactivate and ignore everyone from tumblr, you shouldn’t be alive, everyone wishes you were gone

    #negativity #tw death mention #tw death#tw negativity#tw rant #tw rant post #rant post #ask to tag
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  • I’m going to try to be active on here. I promise!!

    You know what hurts?

    When you’re the friend that makes sure people are okay and if you can tell if someone is okay you make sure that person knows they have someone to talk to and someone to just listen to them, but when they are in a bad place they never get the same thing. Like fuck! That hurts. Like physically hurts in my heart knowing that I’m not as important as they are to me.

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  • Okay, so I found a dude who was trash talking fanfiction on r/tumblr.

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    Being a fanfic author myself, I could not take this stuff lying down (the comment has got two more downvotes since then, of posting), and so I told the clown:

    As a fanfic author, I would like to inform you that it is difficult to write fanfic - more difficult than you think. Fanfic can be used to analyze the psychological impact of canon events on a character, give backstory to characters who don’t have one (and that sometimes includes worldbuilding and a lot of research, depending on the backstory headcanon or even canon), etc. Historically accurate fanfiction takes months of research, if not more, to write, and I’ve seen a fanfic about as long as the entire 7-book Harry Potter series, and it’s only one part of four installments. And don’t even get started on original characters… I swear there are fanfics that are more well-written than some books that are published. Fanfiction is real fiction, and if you disagree, try getting into a fandom and reading some for yourself. There are endless possibilities to what a fanfic can be.

    Also, some currently published books started out as fanfiction for another book - the Fifty Shades trilogy being one of them… and let us be honest here, wouldn’t all those paintings and sculptures of religious figures, especially in Christianity, be just fanart? And The Divine Comedy would just also be Bible fanfiction starring a self-insert! As a matter of fact, on a technicality, all fiction books are just AUs and fanfics of Real Life!

    And of course, someone downvoted my comment and that trash talker replied:

    image

    And then me again:

    Sometimes the author is wrong. Sometimes, the fandom just wants to explore the possibilities of what a character can be, and some people project themselves on their favourite characters because they find them relatable. Are you trying to invalidate their experiences in a fandom just because you think fanfiction isn’t valid?

    Also, many fanfic writers are unable to publish their own works because their being a “minority” causes them to be discriminated against. And fanfiction is also a good starter point for budding writers to hone their skills and practise before they go out into the “real” world of writing. Are you really so narrow-minded so as to tell these writers, many of whom spend hours and hours writing and researching, that they are invalid? This is the reason why fanfiction is dying - they get so much negativity that they decide that pursuing their hobbies isn’t worth it anymore, and not enough feedback to encourage content creators to keep up their work.

    I’m quite sure that I could answer better, but for the love of God… part of me wants to rage, but I mostly just want to get on with the rest of my day without more extra drama.

    And if you got to the end of this post… if you are following me and agree with the person whose comments I used screencap to record down, smash the unfollow button and block me as well. This is a pro-fanfiction blog and I do not take attacks on fandomkind from outsiders lying down.

    I am not saying that all fanfiction is good. In fact, many of them are badly written. But would I be so much of a narrow-minded, conscienceless worm to hate on people for writing fanfiction? No.

    Fanfic writers are valid. Prove me wrong.

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  • The Lion King remake and Wreck it Ralph breaks the internet are the worst movies Disney has put out, you may be asking why. It shows what this once amazing company has become, it’s just a cash grab stealing the heart and soul out of thier other franchises to make a quick buck, it’s honestly heartbreaking to see what this once beautifully creative company has become Wreck it Ralph two is barley better than the emoji movie, but unlike Sony it has no spiderverse to save its ass, they haven’t had any amazing films sience moana and that terrifies me, no passion is in thier films anymore it’s just commercial, as much as I love the MCU even endgame has fallen into this with the whole time travel back to the first avengers movie as much as I love that scene I know that it’s just trying to get me to watch the avengers and give Disney even more cash,, this basically represents everything wrong with entertainment today



    It’s just a bunch of uninspired commercial bullshit

    #rant tag #sorry for the rant #rant post#rant#disney#marvel#sony#unpopular opinion #wreck it ralph #wreck it ralph breaks the internet #lion king #the lion king
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  • so, okay

    i have this, like, one (1) MASSIVE pet peeve regarding this one (1) particular aspect of disability activism… i suppose it’s a conflicting access needs thing combined with (what i personally perceive as) erasure and gatekeeping?

    and i reeeeeeally want to rant about it on here because imho it is Really Not Okay, and it’s at the point where it’s legitimately triggering me because it’s always so antagonistic and alienating and yet it’s so damn widespread

    but on the other hand i have severe social anxiety and rsd, and i KNOW i’ll get dogpiled and put on callouts and shit for it, because it’s part of a Much Bigger Thing that is very much black-and-white and anti-nuance

    i just wish i knew of an anonymous disability vent blog i could talk to about it cuz, like… surely there are other people who are upset (or at least care) about it? and maybe they’re scared too?

    anyway it fucking sucks and i’m tired

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    I always feel like a ghost not quite connected to reality

    but when the person who’s suppose to be our lover just treats you like you don’t exist

    it gets harder to keep a connection to this plane of existence ….. and it hurts …but it doesn’t ….I sleep all the time …. I’m disassociating …. I haven’t sleeped in three days …. when was Monday ? …. it is tomorrow…. wasn’t it yesterday …. I miss you …. but I’m only angry at you ..,. Fuck you …. and I cry ….. because you aren’t here …. and I miss you so much ….. and I feel numb …. in the end I’m truly just a ghost holding on .

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  • Well fuck, this shit again?

    I read a lot about narcissistic personality disorder because my parents fit this behavior so perfectly. However, I notice that my 1st oldest and 3rd oldest sister share some of their same behaviors.

    I started looking for these type of behavior from my 3rd oldest sister. She lives near us therefore she’s practically living with us. She rents an apparment from my mother and she gets access to our main Wi-Fi, our washing machine, and our food. She basically only shit, shower, and sleep in her apparment.

    The problem I have with her is that she would come over and criticize our house. Saying how dirty it is, how smelly it is or how loud and cluster it feels. I’m literally the only one out of the 4 people that sleeps in the house that cleans it. Therefore whenever she passes one of her snarky comments about the house I feel like it’s aimed at me.

    I also have a problem with her eating our stuff. Before this whole COVID 19 shit I would buy my own Cheerios and Pb &J. I would buy a separate box of cereal for my 2nd oldest sister because she like the honey, but I like the chocolate Cheerios. My 3rd oldest sister would always eat out the honey Cheerios and when only the chocolate were left she’d get mad. I stopped buying the honey favored and just kept getting the chocolate, but I would feel bad because my 2nd oldest sister didn’t like those. In the end I just kept on buying the 2 cereal and just kept mine in my room. My 3rd oldest sister would say I was being mean and rude and too exact like my mother with my cereal. Consequently I just stopped buying cereal overall. I notice she started buying her own stuff but kept them in our kitchen and when I would clean the cabinet would find her “stash”.

    The same thing happens with the PB&J. Recently my 2nd sister has gotten sick so she can’t eat sweets but the PB&J had finished too fast. That’s when it occurred to me that my 3rd oldest sister has been eating the PB&J all along. With my 2nd sister being sick she realize that no one could take the blame for her eating out the PB&J so she went and bought a new one. But it was the WRONG flavour.We literally have jars and jars of empty PB&J that we recycle and use in the kitchen. The fucking jar is purple. My 3rd oldest sister favorite color! But this bitch went and got the bloody red strawberry flavor PB&J! I told her she’ll be the only one eating from that and she didn’t have a problem with that, but I know if I go get the purple correct PB&J she’d eat from that as well.

    It might seem “cold hearted” And minuscule to be upset about food sharing but I’m mean when it comes to food.

    In addition, this occurred over the weekend. Monday or Sunday my 3rd oldest sister asked me to scan some documents for her. Now I honestly didn’t want to do it because well, I didn’t and she was also being a bitch to me over the weekend which made me more not want to help her. However, I told her I would do it and I did. I scan her stuff for her the Tuesday evening as she was getting home. Just 2 papers no big deal. While I was at my desk doing the scanning I called her to give her back the papers and to see how she wanted me to send her the documents. She said Whatsapp so I sent her the file. “FILE” ONE DOCUMENT. She got upset because I scanned the 2 paper and saved them as one document. It was saved as PDF I’m sure you can separate PDF files if you wanted to, and I told her that. She then asked me to scanned 2 more other paper for her right there and then and to save them separately and as a JPG document. Ok done. Sent via Whatsapp.

    Now tonight. I came out of my room to eat, but ended up starting to wash the dishes. She came over from her apparment saying she want me to scan more things for her. I told this child I will help her after I finish the dishes. She started shouting at me that her papers are more important and that she’s asking me to do this one thing for her because she’s on a time deadline and that she wants someone from work to print them for her tomorrow morning. I kept telling her I will help her, but after i finish the dishes. She’s said no. I can either put on my laptop and let her use it or she will take the printer to her apartment and connect it to her laptop on her own. I told her I don’t want her using my laptop and I just need to finish the dishes and then I’ll get to her.

    This woman started saying how everyone have to do everything on MY timing. The kitchen gets clean when I want to clean it! Everyone has to wait on when I’m willing to help!

    Now that’s when my mother chimed in saying that she wakes up every morning and have to wash the dishes so she doesn’t want me to come out the kitchen until I finish and that my sister should help me so I finish faster. My sister didn’t say anything to my mother; with that she just kept yelling how I never help her and that she’s on a time deadline and that she’s just asking me to scan some documents and all I need to do it enter my password on my laptop so she can use it.

    I told her numerous times I was going to do the scanning for her while she was shouting at me. She said she can’t wait on me so she’s just going to take the printer with her and connect it to her laptop on her own.

    I only took half an hour to wash up. Just 30 mins. She could have waited. When I went to my room my desk and draw that the printer was set on was pull out of place and the cereal box that i use to hold all my printing paper on the floor. She just left them like that. Didn’t even bother to push back the desk and draw against the wall.

    Now this got me pissed because most likely she saw my ballet shows on the floor and I honestly didn’t want anyone from my family knowing that I’m practicing ballet in my room again. I also didn’t want her using my laptop beucsse we all my phone notification displays on it and my emails and plus it’s my fucking laptop I have to right to privacy, don’t I?

    I went to her apartment and yelled at her for leaning my room like that. And that she crossed a boundary for taking the printer out of my room like that. And that it was unfair of her to treat me in such a manner because I was going to help her regardless. She just sat there and said “you’re not over this yet?” While on her phone. She then told me to get out of her room and that she’s gonna put in her headphones just like i do because she doesn’t want i hear me.

    I walk around cleaning the house while listening to podcast so I’m always wearing my headphones and my family hates that.

    The display board that I bought to make her and my 2nd sister their birthday number sign slipped behind the desk.

    Seeing the damn display board that I want to make them their birthday number sign from reminded me of what my 3rd older sister told me a couple weeks back. She wants to have a birthday part. She wants to have it on the roof, with fairy lights and a photoshoot background and to have her boyfriend buy her the balloon numbers to show her age. She wanted to have her own party but from the time she started talking about it no one really paid her mind. That’s when she told my 2nd sister to join in on her birthday party so it can be 2 birthday celebration into one party. She knows the family is more inclined to do stuff for my 2nd sister. Even my mother passed a comment saying that she’s only joining the two birthday because the family is more willing to do stuff for my 2nd sister than for my 3rd therefore she’s using my 2nd sister to piggy back ride on.

    A couple weeks ago the 3 of us went to buy decorations for the party, and when we came back home we went to her apartment to look at what they got and what all needs to be done in order to start decorating. She listed stuff like: cleaning the roof, putting up decorations, making food arrangements, getting tablets and chairs on the roof, checking if all the lights are working and making the photoshoot background. Just talking about it made me tired. I knew I would be the one who would have to help her do all these things. At that moment I was laying on her bed tired form the day and now tired from the mental thought of doing all those things and I just sighed in exasperation. She got mad and said she doesn’t even want to ask for my help and that she doesn’t even want to ask me for the bare minimum of help.

    I want to be mean and just don’t help her at all with the party. Make only a birthday number sign for my 2nd sister and not my 3rd. I want her to keep the printer and not give it back and just keep it. I want to go buy my PB&J and cereal again and tell her non for her. I want to be so fucking mean to her and just cut her off and just ignore her all the fucking time and just stop talking to her over all. But we fucking live together!

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  • Rant ??

    Okay so im stoned. Idgaf. Anyways like I tried changing my hair with shit at home and im like cook ill bleach half, dye that half pink and the other half will be black. Fek yes im down for that. So I got the half bleached. and my bf who is the one who does my hair had to go to bed and we were at least going to get some wjat done tonight. So like now I have to go to appointments tomorrow with half brown/blonde hair and the othef side is bleached af. I be looking like a hot fucking mess. So like I did spacebuns with them and you almost can’t tell how fuckex up I look. Yayaya but uggg. Im just hoping at the end of this I come out being cute. Also the bf and i are not gooood. Fuck that. So we sat down and were like two choices one of us takes the living room and the other takes the bedroom til we both save up enoigh to separate completely or we put our feelings aside, choose the choice of love, get engaged and continue on planning our wedding and our life. So we decided the latter. I mean our problems aren’t totally unfixable but we definitely need more therapy because that’s been helpful and I mean we both are willing to work on us. And that’s important. We need to be more 100/100. Not 50/50 60/40 70/30. No we both need to full on show up and be better and be there. And I need to break the cycle of verbal abuse in my family and be a more calming and loving person to him. But more than that i need to get better with myself. My self hate gets taken out on him and I gotta stop. The more I destroy myself the more it destroys us. Last shiz ugg I got therapy tomorow and idek if I wanna do therapy anymore. I kinda wanna stop and stop meds. I dont wanna be saved no more. Fuck that. I wanna slowly destroy myself. I dont want the possibility of being stopped. Also there’s this guy and he makes my feelings confused so I need to continue talking to him less because I am a loyal ass bitch and I dont do that shit. Fuck that.

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  • I’m getting tired of black people having sympothy for white folks after they trty to kill us.

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  • UGH I’m SO upset I’ve been waiting for an AO3 tag wrangler opening for like a year and I just narrowly missed yet another one, which I just found out about because my instintic told me, too late, to go check for it. It went until today but was filled up early because they had enough applications. Now it’s going to be months before they open again, the last one was in January. This is really important for me because for the next years it’ll be very hard for me to involve in any IRL community organizing since I’ll be moving a lot 😔 Does anyone know how to keep track of these listings without checking on AO3’s homepage every single day for the next 6 months? I’ll go crazy if I try that.

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    This wont really apply to my followers since most of y'all live somewhere other than WA. Anyways i’ve noticed recently that stores aren’t really catering to plus sized people as much, for example: went to danger field and off ya tree today and was told they only sell the larger sizes online which is pretty sucky since i’d much rather try it in person. I do have a sort of advantage since im a dude, and the mens sizes are more expansive, n i feel bad for the women of perth, especially in the alt community having restricted acces to clothing :/// (on that note ALT PEOPLE STOP FJFNGING CAUSING DRAMA ITS ANNOYINGNSNTJSNGSNGJDN)

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