Tema: Da Maçã 🍎
#guitar #bossanova #🍎 #improvisation #🎧 #real #sessions
Tema: Da Maçã 🍎
#guitar #bossanova #🍎 #improvisation #🎧 #real #sessions
Now, I’m finally losing in a healthy manner (I’ve
quit drinking, eating healthy foods, etc) and I’ve lost 70lbs so far. I
still have a long way to go, but I’ll get there. My mother’s just so
happy, I want to kick her in the shins. Like I wouldn’t even BE this way if it wasn’t for you. For being fat. For making me homeless.
-takes a deep breath-
When I got kicked out at fifteen, it was for a DIME of weed. Now they support my use of cannabis products instead of pharmaceutical pain meds. I called on Christmas (because they’d kicked me out in late November and I was fifteen, cold, and lonely), and they hung up on me.
Over a DIME OF WEED.
At fifteen, in the winter, in Canada, and I was on my own. I slept in garbage dumpsters, clothing donation bins, etc. I stayed in coffee shops to get warm, panhandled, and did everything in my power to stay safe. I remember one night, not being able to get to a clothing donation bin by dark, so I huddled in an alleyway. There was snow everywhere, and I remember that after awhile, despite the biting cold of the wind, that I felt warm. I was content, and sleepy. I realized I was going to die of hypothermia if I didn’t actually get warm. That the warmth and contentment was an illusion. I was going to die if I didn’t move. I immediately shook myself, and hustled my ass two miles to a coffee shop where they would let me sit for a few hours if I bought a small coffee.
I was homeless from 15-19 and when I finally convinced my mother to come and help me around the age of 17 for a brief bit (my live-in nanny job - the bosses - a married couple wanted a threesome). I snuck their ‘emergency phone’ (they never paid me, it was basically slave labour), and begged her to help me. I explained the situation, and she said she was busy, but could pick me up in three days. So, I fought off the advances of this forty year old couple as a minor for the next three days, all while caring for their one year old.
By this point, we hadn’t seen each other in nearly two years, and I’d lost so much weight, that she drove right past me. Twice. I just watched. My bosses only fed me one can of condensed soup a day, and I went from being like 176 (’super fat’ according to my mother), to 95-100 pounds, and she didn’t recognize me. I finally waved and she stopped beside me, and stared.
All she said was,
“You look sick.” I remember just staring at her and saying,
“You need some meat on your bones.”
“Hard to find meat on the streets.”
“Yeah, well whose fault is that now?”
The rest of the ride back to my parents place was a silent one. I stayed with them for two weeks. That was it, they weren’t willing to give me any more time than that. In that time, I was able to actually eat REAL food, and not scavenge through Tim Horton’s dumpsters, and I gained fast. When I got to 117, she was like,
“Now you’ve gone too far. Now, you need to lose weight.”
This was right before I was out on the streets again. I would lose it quickly again anyway. Living on the streets isn’t kind to anyone.
For the last LONG while, I had been stuck in ‘survival mode’ according to my therapist. When I ate, I really ate, and I ate a lot, because there was a period of my formative years where I didn’t know when I would get my next meal. Growing up on the streets will do that to a person.
Let’s just say, I grew up fast.
The rest of the story gets dark, and I’d like to forget some of those years, so I’ll stop here. Now, I’m happy. I’ve moved far, far away from them, I’m married, sober, and I haven’t seen my family in over 8 months. That makes me very happy. We are still in contact (LOW contact), their numbers are blocked, only I can call them, so it’s on my terms now.
And I like that.
I’m happy now, and I’m learning to feed myself properly. Not just my body, but my mind, heart, and soul.
No matter what y’all go through a real bond will never break.
Non importa quello che state passando, un vero legame non si romperà mai.
Photo shoot at work since I’m bored as fuck
We were near the end of the session and at said to T that I knew if I just read a script of the words that she’d said, she hadn’t said any of the things I imagined she had, but that my brain reads between the lines and fills in a lot of stuff that I think she must mean.
T said she would always be honest and real with me. She said something else around that, but that’s the bit I heard. Then she said let’s talk about something lighter for a few minutes, how are your girls feeling about going back to school?
I wasn’t ready to go up there yet though, I was still stuck on the honest and real.
I stared into space for a few moments and then said “Will you always be honest and real?”
I just wanted her to say, yes she would. I felt quite emotional thinking about being able to rely on what she said and not have to read between the lines. As a child, I was exceedingly good at reading between the lines and working out what was not being said but that I needed to know.
T got sidetracked and started rambling about well she would try to be but might not be able to be because she’s only human and etc etc. She went on for a couple of minutes, and then looked at me and asked “Is that what you meant?”
I shook my head, because it was so far from what I meant.
T smiled and said “Ahh well maybe we will have to revisit it next session because I don’t think we have time now”, and I shrugged and said “Yeah…. maybe - but maybe it doesn’t really matter.” I don’t know whether I’ll bring it up again next session or not.
Is this the real Office process? It’s using a miniscule bit of network data but that grey-bordered icon looks fishy. Do any Office users know if this is the actual icon Office uses in the network data usage manager? I don’t use Office by the way. : windows
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If you have not…
Real Czech Moldavite Necklace handmade in sterling silver with love and care.
Discover more such rare cosmic collection @Etsy store:
I’ve been pretty productive today, which is very rare for me to be completely honest. I do this thing in my mind where I just kind of dismiss everything and everyone, and all I want to do is think and not have to worry about anything. It works for awhile usually, and then I suddenly realise how much time I’ve wasted doing absolutely nothing. Then I feel like a utter failure and hate myself even more.
Its kind of like a vicious cycle that I’ve been in since I was about 13 (I’m 16 now for reference) but on the days I do actually get stuff done, I feel amazing. I feel this beautiful sense of gratitude and relief and I wish I could just sort myself out and be productive unconsciously.
I see these people on YouTube, or just on the internet in general and seeing them appearing to have their life and shit together just kind of sends me back down.
Yet, I’m on this journey now so all I can hope for is everything to go up from here.
The real estate market has gone completely wild. This weekend I had over 70 showings on a listing. By Sunday night we had nine offers. None of them were less than the asking price. #Real estate #millionDollarListing #YorbaLinda #AnaheimHills #RealestateMarket￼￼ #Century21Award #orangecountyrealtor #JustListed (at Yorba Linda, California)
#barsoftheday #real #postivevibes
PROPERTY IN THE WORLD LTD PER I VOSTRI MIGLIORI INVESTIMENTI
Investimenti immobiliari sbagliati portano inevitabilmente ad incappare in spiacevoli situazioni, allora sarebbe molto interessante capire come fare per non trovarsi difronte ad investimenti deludenti.
Nessuno decide di investire per perdere soldi, ma quando si inizia a considerare questa strada bisogna rendersi conto che gli investimenti immobiliari negli USA , come tutti i tipi di…