I 🤠 have 🤠 no 🤠 one 🤠 to 🤠 talk 🤠 to🤠
I 🤠 have 🤠 no 🤠 one 🤠 to 🤠 talk 🤠 to🤠
Day 1 of telling myself I’m on a diet again but probably relapsing
3 cornflake chocolates
Can of coffee
3 pieces chicken with soy sauce
Small salad with dressing
6oz vegetable juice
Will update with dinner. I plan on having a beer tonight with my friend but hopefully my dinner will be small so I won’t feel bad about it
I really hate this quarantine thing, it’s making me second guess past relationships and relapse to old feelings for people I got over a long time ago
I haven’t participated in my ED disorder since March 2020, since March 2020 I ate good meals, treats and was back on track. I’ve relapsed and today marks one week of not eating anything and working out once a day. I’m not complaining. I’m not happy. I’m not disappointed. I’m nothing in any emotional range right now. But I am hungry.
Has anybody try to lose weight while recovering from an eating disorder? It so hard and exhausting. I’ve been losing weight in the healthiest way as possible but sometimes i just want to give up.
I want to recover for long nights reuniting with friends and the comfort of that trust
y am i so sad all the fucking time
as soon as the buzzer goes off at 2:40am, you know it’s them. they’d been crouched on the ground, leaning against your door because as soon as you open it they fall backwards and hit your knees.
“hey,” you say as you help them to their feet. they stumble, and when you look into their eyes you can tell they’re wasted. it had been months, they had been doing okay, but now it was over. they’re a wreck - they know it - and you can see the marks of fallen tears on the tops of their cheeks. there’s vomit on their sleeve, a cut on their cheek - probably from the fist of someone they purposely pissed off in a bar just so they’d get punched. you help them inside and they’re mumbling. “do you want me to take you home?” you ask quietly.
they shake their head immediately. “no, please,” they say, working themselves up again as you brush a hand across their cheek in an attempt to comfort them. “it’s too quiet there.” you begin helping them get undressed. “too quiet,” they repeat. you notice a few bruises on their chest and try to keep the tears from your eyes as well. “I can’t…” they begin, but don’t finish. they just shake their head again, “forget it.”
you clean them up as best as you can, listen to the gibberish that’s coming out of their mouth. “you need rest,” you try to say in a commanding tone. they just nod, tears dripping from their eyes again. as you set them into the bed, they pull on your shirt.
“come here,” they say. they pull on your shirt a second time and you nearly fall on top of them but you catch yourself. they pull themselves up a bit so their lips are next to your ear, and in the quietest way they say, “I’m so unhappy,” before letting their head fall back to the pillow.
you push the hair off their sweaty forehead. you want to curl them up in your arms and never let them go, never let them do this to themselves again. “I know,” you mutter, but they’re already asleep, arms still half-reaching out to you.
dedicated to @whumpxholic because of their comment on a past post of mine
it’s getting bad again
hghhhghhjgj i want 2 relapse Or at least th physical counterpart is there. But i hav,, nowhere near enough energy. So now i am doomed (/hj) i do not want 2 sit in this
Relapsed last night. It’s one of the worst relapses I’ve had. It’s among the most I’ve done at once. Still absolutely shit but slightly less shit than I was yesterday, just, y’know, with added stress of not stretching the wrong way or letting anyone see it.
i don’t have anymore reasons to not kill myself.
i wish i were a good boy
If you’re relapsing and you know it, clap your hands
If you can feel the progress slipping away, clap your hands
If your head is in the past and your brain can make it last
If you’ve suddenly got never-before-seen symptoms clap your hands
58 days sober and I am fucking c r u m b l i n g
It’s been 3 years since my last post and unfortunately I’m back on my bullshit
I’m relapsing!! Back in 2018 my life was perfect. I had a somewhat loving bf, great job, 110lbs (Lw) I was happy. Then I lost my job. Bf cheated and left and now I’m 138lbs😭 my life is fucked up atm. I’m working on getting it back tho. I start my new job tomorrow. I’m deciding to come back to Tumblr￼ and Reach￼ some goals.
Here are my stats> age 22…5’0ft…hw 143.2 (BMI 28.0)…lw 110.4lbs (BMI 21.6)…cw 138.2 (BMI 27.0) next gw 133lbs…ugw atm 79lbs