#relationship anarchy Tumblr posts

  • badhombre647
    12.04.2021 - 1 week ago

    This was the first time in my life I was lead to do a cord cutting. I’ve hexed, I’ve banished, I’ve put heads in jars in my freezer. I’ve never cut a cord.

    My lover pulled the best cards for me before the cord cutting ceremony. Bones to represent the “singing of the bones” from my favorite Mexican folk story (she read the whole book, and it gives me the swoons). Graveyard to represent this funeral for my heart. Belladonna is how she sees me. Beautiful, but deadly. Not made for everyone. The ceremony was the most intense ritual I’ve ever done. I can’t wait to write it out. Now to get b to stop calling it a “reverse hand fasting” 😑😒

    #I mean it is a reverse hand fasting #spiritual divorce papers #my hands were bound but not in the way I proposed them to be those months ago #breakups#relationship anarchy#ex-fiancé#witchcraft#bruja
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  • badhombre647
    08.04.2021 - 1 week ago

    Reason #8394949277 b and I are meant to be together.

    Me in the shower loudly “free styling” depression song: iiiiiii hate eeEeeeAAveryyYYyyYyythiiiiiIiINnnngGgg 🎶

    b from the other room: meEeeEeeeEe tOooOoooOoo 🎶

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  • badhombre647
    02.04.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    My Dearest Crow Boy,

    I miss you. I need you now more than ever. I’m so tired, my love. I’m grateful for the strong presence of your spirit today. Please stay with me always.

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  • badhombre647
    01.04.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    This was a tough read, and rings true. Our love was never one-sided, but I often have to ask the people in my life to tell me not to text her. I miss her. I’d be willing to talk it out if only she would accept my text. I wish things turned out differently. I wish she was here right now. I wish she was here for April 29th. I have so many lost loved ones to grieve. If only she wasn’t one of them.

    https://poly.land/2020/11/20/the-hardest-part-is-the-moment-when-i-want-to-text-you-but-know-i-cant/?fbclid=IwAR1oNdUsqAndZ29pPEZQFSJL-merpB19KGM1nvZwQLKL6OqiafoNjqQiYDg

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  • thrive4good
    30.03.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    Weekly review - M7W4

    [Image description: front and back view of a woman in a long rainbow dress]

    It was a really good week with all sorts of good moments. For example, I was feeling really optimistic when I got lucky with traffic one morning, or I made lots of great recipes, I got to catch up with a lot of friends, etc. Probably a highlight of the week was finding inspiration for a very old passion of mine, fashion design. After years it was great to sit down and explore my creativity in that way again. 

    GOAL 1: sharing the blog with loved ones again --> I actually didn’t do this, but I decided that everyone who was interested was already engaging in some way as I speak about it quite consistently. I did however still focus on my blog and interacting on here, and gained quite a few followers!

    Next up is sharing the blog online again, and writing up the action plans for next month

    GOAL 2: yoga or afternoon exercise, trying to find ways around irregularities and setting up a more solid routine --> this was quite successful with 4/6 days working for me. The two that didn’t were either because I hadn’t reviewed my goal for the week yet or because it was my one semi collapse/recharge day. I definitely managed to build up a reasonable routine. 

    Next up is combining daily morning yoga with some form of exercise later in the afternoon. 

    GOAL 3: daily journalling on the self care strategy --> this went really well and I got a lot of insights about what obstacles come up and how I can be flexible while keeping my wellbeing at the centre of what I’m doing. 

    Next up is tying up loose ends from month 6 (i.e. finish personalising intimacy scales and get an understanding of what I want in key relationships)
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  • badhombre647
    29.03.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    Letting people drop everything, and come running is something I’m re-learning how to do. Last night was a good start. I’m so grateful to have her in my life, and in my corner.

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  • badhombre647
    28.03.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    The last person who held me was my former partner. The last person I had sex with was my former partner. The last time I was kissed was the night they had to leave me. I had a beautiful night filled with chemicals, touch, and passion planned in a private cabin with my two of my lovers to break this period of physical and intimate celibacy. Life again has fucked me, and I can’t go on my trip tonight. I’m angry, heartbroken, and devastated. I needed this so badly. Tonight it’s just me in my basement. What was supposed to be my healing journey will be me, alone, skin crawling, while by body holds the memories of everyone and everything I’ve lost.

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  • badhombre647
    27.03.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    I wish I could go back 8 years, and show myself this post

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  • badhombre647
    25.03.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    My life is full of plot twists. For once it’s not a tragedy 🖤.

    #relationship anarchy#relationships #queer platonic relationship #queer platonic partner #wlw #from meta to friend to girlfriend #I am so in love with her #demiromantic
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  • solypolyholy
    23.03.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    Dear strictly, stereotypically Monogamous Person,

    As a polyamorous/non-monogamous non-binary woman, I have feelings, too, you know?

    When I lose a friend, a potential friend/partner, a partner, or someone who falls under or between any of these categories, I grieve, too. I feel sad, I feel broken, I’m sometimes a mess. It hurts like crazy when you lose someone, so no, I don’t have replacements; no, I don’t have alternatives; no, I don’t have other people to rely on getting this kind of relationship from. I lost a friend/partner/potential somebody. I lost someone I treasure: therefore, I’m sad about it. Respect my sadness, respect my love for them. I’ve liked them as much as I like any of my other people. I’ve liked them immensely and they’ve taken from my energy, love, commitment.

    No, I wasn’t just having fun. No, I wasn’t just into them for a while. No. Although nothing’s wrong with these choices, I was invested in this relationship, and the loss is overwhelming. Even if you don’t understand it, at least make room for my feelings and don’t make insensitive remarks. It’s not about having other people around, no matter the kind of relationship: It’s about losing a person to time, to life, to circumstances, to the unknown. It’s about cutting someone off or changing our relationship from one state to another.

    It’s enough to grieve about.

    Don’t belittle my feelings. Don’t belittle anyone’s.

    With love,

    Ocean

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  • badhombre647
    23.03.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    I’ve been listening to Polysecure by Jessica Fern for a second time, and Chapter 7 makes me cry almost as much as Chapter 6 does. I love this book.

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  • badhombre647
    22.03.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    I blog a lot about the deep, dark pit that is left of my heart after the past year, but I don’t talk enough about the ways my nesting partner has supported me though it. What we’ve been through in the last year together was either going to rip us apart, or cement us together. I’m grateful it was the latter. We lost our mutual nesting partner to suicide almost a year ago. This rocked our world, and our community. They had a front row seat to the experience of three partners breaking up with me within a few months of each other. They saw me experience primal panic for the first time with a now former partner. Something that I had only experienced with them previously.

    They’ve stood behind me through it. Seeing me suffer in these ways has cast me in a whole new light in their eyes. One they find me even more beautiful in. They renewed their vow to never again be careless with my heart.

    Our relationship is about more than meeting each other’s needs. Neither of us have the ability to do that fully for each other. Our relationship is about weathering the storms together. It’s about supporting each other while we grow as individuals. It’s about holding space for each other to fall apart. Sometimes over and over again. It’s about preserving the core of this family we built together.

    A year and a half ago, I wasn’t sure we’d make it. Now I cannot imagine anything could break us apart.

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  • badhombre647
    20.03.2021 - 4 weeks ago

    Here’s the link to the most recent article I’ve read for my therapy homework. This was something I was unaware of, had been experiencing since 2015, and was mostly masked by faux jealousy feelings. I highly recommend reading Polysecure by Jessica Fern if this topic interests you.

    https://psychcentral.com/lib/attachment-panic-or-why-you-cant-just-chill-out#5

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  • badhombre647
    20.03.2021 - 4 weeks ago

    Mental illness and cancer scares have my head spinning today. I feel so alone and lost. I feel like a burden on my nesting partner. My soul is tired.

    #relationship anarchy#polyamory#relationships#nesting partners#breakups#mental health#mental illness#depression#bipolar II #I miss her #fuck cancer #I want to be held but also don’t want to be touched #being crazy is confusing
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  • badhombre647
    18.03.2021 - 1 mont ago

    I’m determined to turn this temporary period of physical, sexual, and emotional celibacy into something productive for myself.

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  • son--flower
    13.03.2021 - 1 mont ago

    in casual conversation, my roommate calmly informed me that i really do sound like a relationship anarchist. cue suddenly having to rethink everything over (again)

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  • thrive4good
    12.03.2021 - 1 mont ago

    Love

    (4)
    I realised that not being anyone’s priority was a big insecurity of mine, so I decided to write down every time someone I cared about made me feel loved. I filled up a jar with pieces of paper almost instantly and had to size up. Here are a few of these instances at random, with X replacing the names of people involved (and Y if multiple people are involved).

    X sticking around for an hours chat even though no one else showed up for the call 

    X dealing with severe social anxiety to meet all my friends

    X helping me take all my heavy moving boxes out into the hall

    X&Y always asking to see me when our families meet up

    X giving me an open invitation to spend some time at her house and to use her pool

    X&Y ringing to check up on me after flight stress and being vulnerable about what they were going through as well

    X&Y helping me with the house and babysitting 

    X sharing free yoga classes with the group to help with pandemic stress

    X&Y coming to see me twice during the holidays from uni 

    X calling for and picking up the pizzas when I was tired

    X writing me my own lullaby when I was a baby 

    X&Y specifically putting money aside so I could start my own project 

    X being sad we couldn’t do a game night sooner 

    X cooking me lunch 

    X offering to let us stay at her house for a holiday 

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  • polyhuisku
    08.03.2021 - 1 mont ago

    Good talks

    Even though 2020 has been a mess all round for me, in this post-breakdown world things are looking... more like me?

    I have good people around me and people who seem to love me no matter how low I feel I've sunk. It's comforting, even though I can't seem to shake the feeling of being a failure as a partner. That's my secret cap: I'm always blaming myself.

    TL;DR: I've found out that I'm not that compatible as a person to share a living space with someone else for long periods of time due to my mental condition. I live on my own now, and we de-escalated our primary-type relationship with Kitty. We call each other anchor partners now, and I really like the sound of it. Like before, the love is there, we just suit each other better this way.

    We had a short chat with Rai and things are still up in the air a bit, but it doesn't bother us. Time and space for both of us, there are more important things to focus on right now.

    And finally, after pondering on it for quite some time, I think I'm not that suited for tightly structured, hierarchy-style polyamory. I find relationship anarchy much more fitting as a descriptor.

    ''I could have told you that long ago'' Lil Sunshine joked last time we called. There is a clear feeling of caring after one another, and we did talk about that too. I too think it's best we get to know each other better as friends first, once the pandemic calms down. We keep getting excited and losing ourselves to planning all kinds of adventures once the pandemic eases up. I love our talks together.

    Oh, and, well... there's a new person of interest in the horizon. I think we'll call her Max for reasons. Max & I reconnected a while back over Animal Crossing stuff and started chatting more and more and now there's flirting and hearts and the likes involved. It's nice and lovely and relaxed, and I love not having a need to put a descriptor or name on what we are right now. I hope I get to meet her again soon.

    so yeah... things aren't that bad, even though there's a lot of rising from the ashes to be done and getting used to a lot of new things. But I'm in a better place, I feel. I sit better in my own skin and my love feels more free than ever before.

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  • snorkmaidxn
    15.04.2021 - 3 days ago

    the guts ppl have to be polyamorous and want multiple partners, but want none of those partners to be with anyone else. I guess some ppl do want to be part of a harem like that, but I rly don't get it

    #polyamory with rules like that is just. so weird to me #relationship anarchy is the only thing that makes sense to me #and i get why ppl are monogamous even though it's most likely not for me anymore #but to take distance from cultural relationship norms and then set asymmetrical rules like that??? hrmm #personal
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