The thing about the Nice Guy attitude that leads that kind of man to expect sex from women when they do basic nice things like offer a jacket or give them a ride home or have one supportive conversation is that they’re putting way too high a price tag on their gestures of niceness while putting way too low a value on women and relationships.
If I tried to put a monetary value on offering me a jacket, and also tried to put a monetary value on my attention + my time + the emotional labor I put into a relationship with someone, the respective values are $10 vs. thousands of dollars.
Nice Guys do the barest of the bare minimum, they offer a few spare dollars, and then they think they’re owed something hugely valuable.
My time is valuable. My emotional labor is valuable. A unique right to my attention that only a significant other gets in a relationship with me is valuable. Priceless, really. Meaning both that its value is too high to be determined and that it can’t be bought. But men think you can afford it by offering a jacket or giving me a ride somewhere? That says something so offensive about what Nice Guys think my personhood is worth in relational currency, not to mention the fact that I have one life made up of finite time that is not yours to demand.
For that matter, my friendship is valuable, too. And the audacity to be angry when you are offered friendship in exchange for your small, manipulative favors rather than recognizing the gift friendship is and to instead demand something even more exclusive or unique from me is theft.
Nice Guys think that their basic courtesy is worth more than my basic courtesy in return. That their offer of a jacket is worth my time. That their manipulative and phony support is worth my body. That offering me a ride home is worth a relationship with me. This shows mathematically that Nice Guys think they are worth more than what I am worth. Which is not Nice at all. The whiny, self-pitying dialogue they surround themselves with is not genuine to their inner selfishness and arrogance.
For the price you’re demanding, keep your favors. I’ll find a ride home. I’ll call a real friend for support. I’ll be slightly chilly for an evening if I can keep my personhood. You can keep your jacket.