Content warning: the following piece of writing contains swear words. (It’s Remus Lupin, what’d you expect)
“Guys?” Remus mumbles, peeking out from behind his potions book.
The other three were sitting on the floor by the fireplace, happily chatting about the latest quidditch match.
“Gu-uys?” He tries again, but they still don’t notice.
He sighs and slams his book closed, yet it still doesn’t catch their attention.
“Listen the fuck up, okay?!” The boy yells, finally getting his friends to notice him.
“Jeez Rem-Rem, what is it?” Sirius grins at him as he gets up to take a seat by the others.
“So, my mom heard about this game, from her friend Gladys, who heard about it fro-”
“A game? What kind of game?” James interrupts, making the others let out giggles.
“Yeah, it’s called uno, and it’s like-” Remus tries to continue but is again interrupted, this time by Peter.
“Isn’t that like, one in spanish?” He questions.
Sirius and James both nod thoughtfully, and Remus sighs.
“It probably is, but that doesn’t matter. It’s this card game, with coloured cards, and-”
“Do you have the game or are we just gonna hear about it?” Sirius asked, sending him a ‘uh, hello?’ look.
“Yes, I have the game,” the twelve-year-old sighed as he pulled the cards out of his pocket.
“So, we each get seven cards,” he explains, handing each of his friends their cards.
“Do these cards do anything? Or are they just… boring muggle cards?” James mumbles while twisting and turning his card, revealing it to be a blue i nine.
“No, James, you can’t… oh sweet fucking Jesus. You can’t show us your cards, it’s supposed to be a secret,” Remus groans, shutting his eyes and rubbing his temples.
“Oo, oo, I got this one, this one seems fancy!” Sirius grins.
Peter snatches the card, raising his brows at it.
“What card is it?” Remus grumbles before Peter hands it to him.
A wild draw four. So they aren’t completely wrong about it being fancy.
“We’ll start with the basics, okay?” He asks, making the others nod excitedly.
“So, there are the normal cards. Those are yellow, blue, red, and green numbers from zero to nine. Everybody understands so far?” He questions with a small smile, and the others nod again.
“Then there are other cards. Draw two cards. They give the person after you two cards. Wild cards, they change the colour. Wild draw four cards, they give the person after you four cards and change the colour. Reverse cards, they make it go the other way around, so if I put a reverse card, then instead of it being Peter, it’d be Sirius again. And lastly, the skip cards. They skip people, basically. So if I put it, we’d skip Peter and it’d be James’ turn instead. You get it?”
They all nod again, but as Remus is about to continue, Peter says something.
“But what if I don’t wanna skip anyone? Do I have to skip them?” He asks quietly.
The other two burst out laughing, and Remus nods.
“Yes, you have to skip people,” he chuckles, then continues. “Like I said, we get seven cards each. I handed them out, so Peter will start. We turn the top card of the remaining pile of cards,” he says as he turns the card. A green three.
“And Peter places a green card. Peter, do you have any green cards?” the boy asks as he looks up at his friend. Peter nods.
“I have a few green cards. Which one should I use?” he questions, making Remus shrug.
“Use your plus two!” James breaks in, peeking over Peter’s shoulder.
“James, you’re not supposed to look!” Sirius screech while pulling him away,
“and that’s stupid! You’d get two more cards!”
“But more cards are good, right?” James says with a shrug.
“No, more cards are not good. It’s about having no cards left. The first person to have no cards, wins,” Remus tells him, making James let out an “oooh”.
“When you have one card left, you say uno. If you don’t say un-”
“Because it means one in spanish, that’s genius!” Sirius yells.
Remus sighs, again rubbing his temples.
“If you don’t say uno, you have to draw two cards and you get skipped for a whole round.”
“That is cruel!” James cackles, an evil grin on his face.
“Peter, just choose a card. If you have two of the same cards, then you can use both of them, even if they’re not the same colour,” Remus explains, completely ignoring the two scandalous gryffindors beside them.
Peter nods and places down two draw two cards, a green one first and then a yellow one.
“James, draw four cards,” Remus chuckles. James ended up on top of Sirius, explaining all the cruel ways he was going to make him get more cards.
His smile disappears though, when he hears what Remus said.
“What, no! No no!” He screams as he frantically crawls off of Sirius to look at the pile of cards.
“If you’d listened, I explained you can put two of the same cards, even if they’re different colours,” Remus calmly explains.
James grumbles the most innocent swear words while drawing his four cards, all while Sirius laughs his ass off.
“Sirius, your turn.”
Sirius nods and grabs his cards. Soon after, he places down the wild draw four card.
“Purple,” he says with a wide smile as Remus draws his cards.
“Sirius, you can’t choose purple.”
“Yes I can.”
“No you can’t.”
“Yes I can.”
“Sirius, just choose another colour,” Peter interrupts. Sirius pokes his tongue out at the two, then mutters something that sounds like “blue, then”.
Remus nods over at Peter to make him take his turn.
“Blue,” he mumbles. The boy nods and places a blue one.
“James,” Remus says, and James nods too as he places a draw two.
“ha ha! Two cards for you!” He laughs loudly before Sirius smacks him at the back of the head.
“Ow, frickle frackles,” he mutters, then lunges at Sirius. Remus sighs and puts down a blue nine. Peter stares at their two friends, rolling around beside them. They’re laughing loudly and spewing weird insults at each other.
“Should we just stop playing?” He asks. Remus nods.
“We can try another day when they’re tired enough to not go apeshit on each other.”