Isn't it interesting how we're always speaking of the dehumanisation that comes with the curse and how it affects the zodiac literally and metaphorically but now the show is really getting to how Akito herself is also a victim of that...like I knew Akira played a part in how he encouraged her delusions, but seeing the scene play out you realise that the specific wording he chose in his death scene kinda implied he never really saw akito as a person either? Like when Ren said she was just a toy to him that was most definitely wrong, but the fact he kept emphasising how special akito was feels particularly unsettling when he adds that she being special makes HE and REN special. It kinda feels like he was trying to convince himself he'd done right by Ren after all, because the product of their union was special or something, I'm not sure.
But it's so interesting, like, when Akito said she was the one who was an 'other' and that she was raised in a way to not know things she was right!! God might be 'human' but every adult in the main state played a part in completely stripping Akito of her humanity as well. Everything about the way she was brought up served to completely alienate her from the people around her and any world beyond the Sohma and the bonds of the curse. They created this terrible cycle where Akito was said to be above others and someone 'needed' but essentially she was the one who needed the zodiac the most because she was never allowed to have any identity beyond that!!!
She basically had two ideas of how to view herself and both were awful; The first option is Akira is right: she is a special child and everyone must love her, which is 'good'. But also she literally can never be seen for herself and has to live with the knowledge that every day she's putting up a mask and playing her "head of the family" role under the implicit threat that she might be abandoned if she fails to meet the expectations placed on her. Or the second option, which unarguably scares her the most, that is Ren is right. There is nothing special about her and the bonds are fake, but that also means she is then something that can easily be discarded or abandoned because nothing ever suggested she could be loved had she not been 'special'. And the conflicting part is everything about her situation seemed to validate both views! Akira and the staff knew she was 'special' and thus 'loved' her, but Ren, her mother, never acknowledged the bounds or subsequently Akito's worth and actively despised her. This painted a very clear picture in which people could either adore her as someone 'special' or abandon her as a 'fraud'.
So the moment Akira died Akito was faced with a very terrible choice: either completely take on her role as God and give up being a child, or accept the supposedly imminent abandonment that'd follow if she didn't comply. So she obviously clinged to that role with everything she had! And as Yuki pointed out, although she had a temper and clearly learned to look down on the zodiac as part of her role as God, she wasn't as vicious before. What really changed her was Kureno's curse breaking and the realisation that even if she played 'right' the future of abandonment Ren threatened her with was a very real possibility. Akito couldn't handle the thought of the curse breaking because by that point, she was already convinced being God was all she could ever be. I could go on about how she eventually became more and more desperate in her attachment and further lost herself by reenacting her relationship with her parents with the zodiac ( men should adore her and comfort her and give her special attention / women are competition and stir up her abandonment issues ) but I think that's enough.
She's just so *shakes fist* thematically relevant to the themes of the show, a representation of the worst sides of the curse and the spiral of sadness that is the sohma and also a perfect foil to Tohru 😔 I just love akito AAAAAAH