By Any Other Name: Chapter Nine (READ WARNINGS)
Summary: After devastating news, Rex and Reader must rush to stop Fives from taking drastic action.
Chapter Rating: Mature
Warnings: There are descriptions of a s*icide attempt in both the italicized sections and non-italicized sections of this chapter. When reblogging this, I ask that you please include a trigger warning in the tags for the safety and comfort of others. Thank you. (If you do not like these themes or these things upset you, DM me and I can give you a quick summary of what happens so you can skip this chapter)
Ships: Rex x Female!Reader, Fives x Female!Reader, Echo x Female!Reader, Clone OC x Female!Reader, other ships tbd.
Tags: #ByAnyOtherName, #BAON
Word Count: 3.3k of pure agony
A/N: Welcome to hell.
As always, bless @fat-zygerrian for being my beta reader!
Comment if you want to be tagged! Reblogs are SO appreciated!
It hurt. You had not expected it to hurt. After being numb for so long you thought you were beyond feeling, now.
For a brief moment it had succeeded in distracting you. Your grief, your exhaustion, the numbness that had filled your every moment… it all dissipated between one heartbeat and the next as the blood cascaded down your knuckles. The fractured mirror distorted your reflection. A large piece of glass glared back up at you from the basin of the sink. Your blood steadily dripped onto it from where it streamed down your bloodied hands.
The glass had ribboned your hands where you’d struck the mirror, glass jutting painfully from your skin. But all the same, you felt relieved. You could not stand the sight of your own face anymore. Not when Rose wasn’t there behind you, with his beautiful smile and loving eyes.
Picking up the piece of glass from the sink your body sunk down to the ground. You pressed your back weakly against the wall. It would be so easy. So quick. One quick movement and you’d be dead in a matter of minutes..
You absently noted the blood flowing down your arms at an alarming rate. You felt dizzy, cold. You had obviously injured yourself worse than anticipated. Maybe the decision was made for you and now you’d bleed out on your own...
You were still holding the glass in your red hand when you heard the front door open. Dimly, you registered someone calling your name.
You shifted, deciding to lie against the floor instead. The tile cools your hot cheeks and dried some of your tears. The blood from your hands and arms filled the crevices of the tile, inching towards your face.
You’d locked the refresher door. A knock. Someone was calling your name again.
In your feeble state you thought that the voice belonged to Rose. That Rose had come for you. A weak smile pulled the corner of your lips. He’d just come home from his mission. Rose was looking for you. The world grew quiet and dark around you. Cold. But Rose was calling for you. You could feel his hands on you. They were warm. You gasped upon feeling his hot breath against your lips but felt too weak to open your eyes to see him.
“Wake up.” His voice called, barely a whisper.
You let out a soft sound, trying to reach out to him. To reach Rose.
“Wake up.” Muffled, like he was calling to you from far away.
I’m trying, you wanted to tell him. I’m trying, I’m coming, I love you, I’m coming.
The voice grew louder and you suddenly remembered Rose was dead, cold and buried somewhere far, far away. Somewhere you couldn’t reach him. You gripped the glass tighter and the jagged edges dug even deeper into your flesh.
Your eyes flew open. The bright light of the bathroom was partially obscured by the face looming overhead. Groaning, you closed your eyes again. Too bright. Too much.
“No, no – dammit all! Keep your eyes open! You’re okay. You’re okay! You’re going to be fine.” Fives was frantic, his voice higher than you had ever heard it before. Wild panic flared in his expression. One arm wrapped around your shoulders as he half-held you in his lap, the other hand pressing roughly against your wrist.
“You’re going to push the glass in deeper!” Echo snarled somewhere to your left. You caught a glimpse of him tearing through his pack, a med-kit strewn open on the floor before him.
“She’s karking bleeding, Echo! Give me a better solution if you have one!”
“Both of you stop arguing.” Kix’s voice echoed from a comm-link on the floor near Fives’ thighs. “Focus or she’s going to bleed out. Where’s the worst of it coming from?”
“Her palms – n-no, her wrist. Her left wrist.. it’s bad.” Fives said, looking you over quickly. “Kriff, she’s ripped to hell, Kix.”
“Go away.” You mumbled, your eyes fluttering shut once more.
“Respectfully, shut up.” Echo replied, focused as he grabbed one of your arms, finding the wounds without glass in them and wrapping them in bacta patches. Your skin burned as the bacta took effect almost immediately.
“Give me the tweezers.” Fives snapped, pulling your other arm up towards him.
“No, your hands are shaking. Focus on keeping her conscious, I’ll handle the glass.” Echo shook his head and you heard him take a steadying breath. “What were you thinking, mesh’la?”
You saw blood – your blood – on Echo’s gloves and Fives’ armor plates. You wondered if Rose had bled when he died too, or if his heart stopped beating instantly.
“You aren’t kriffing dying.” Fives hissed. You hadn’t realized you’d spoken aloud. “Echo? How’s it coming?” He demanded.
“Almost got it.” Echo murmured, his tweezers focused on your hands as he plucked the glass quickly from your skin.
“I’m almost there.” Kix’s voice echoed across the comm-link again. “The Captain is with me.”
“Got it!” Echo was triumphant, flinging the last bit of glass aside and ripping a bandage open with his teeth. He passed a second one to Fives as he wrapped the biggest of your injuries. “This’ll hold until Kix can get a look at her.”
Fives sagged with relief, muttering a prayer to whatever gods were listening before turning his head to the comm-link. “Should we move her?”
“No, keep her still. I’m coming up now.”
You felt Fives’ gloved hand brush against your cheek, clearing away tears you hadn’t realized you’d been crying.
“It’s alright, we’ve got you.” He murmured. “You’re going to be okay.”
You lost count of how many hours you’d stayed curled up on the couch, sobbing against your knees.
When Fives had broken the news about Echo you wanted to scream. You wanted to cry. You wanted to break things, hurt people and wail to the gods; why, why, why would they let this happen again!
But you did none of those things. Instead you took a steadying breath, trying to keep yourself together.
“What can I do?” You whispered. “Fives, what do you need?”
“I don’t… I don’t know.” Fives seemed oddly calm himself. “I think – think I might be in shock, still.”
“Should I call Rex?” The tears were coming but you kept your voice in check. “Do you want me to meet you at the base? I can wait for you right outside the watch posts -.”
“No. I think I need to be around vode for a little bit.” His voice cracked slightly on the Mando’a word and your heart clenched.
“Okay. I’m here, whatever you need.”
“Are you okay on your own?”
Your heart twisted all over again. Fives had just lost his twin and he was still worrying over you.
“I’m okay, don’t worry about me. Fives, I’m so sorry.”
“I – I couldn’t keep him safe.” Fives whispered. “Kriff, I’m the last one. I’m the only one left.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t be the only one left.” He mumbled. “I can’t.”
“Fives? Talk to me.”
He hadn’t responded. Instead letting the call end with the soft click of his communicator. Then you’d finally allowed the tears to flow.
It was the soft knock on your door that finally pulled you from your stupor. With that, you rose to your feet sluggishly, wiping hot tears as the door slid open.
Rex’s expression softened the second he took in your face. “C’mere.” He murmured, stepping into the apartment and pulling you gently into his arms. His armor was uncomfortable, but you tucked your head against his chest nonetheless, finding comfort in his actions.
“How’s he doing?” Rex asked softly, pulling away and wiping at your tears with his gloved hand. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to get over here. I… I came as soon as I could -.”
“Who?” You sniffed, your breathing still a little shaky.
“Fives.” Rex repeated. “Is he in your room?”
“He isn’t – he isn’t here.” You mumbled, taking a slow breath. “He said he wanted to stay with the boys tonight..”
Rex screwed up his face in confusion for a moment. “Okay. Alright, cyar’ika, hang tight.” He guided you back to the couch, settling you against the cushions before heading into your kitchen, talking softly into his comm-link as he went.
“Anybody have eyes on Fives?”
You were too far from him to hear the responses of his men. When Rex returned to you a few moments later with a cup of water, you accepted it gratefully and listened in.
“Negative sir, thought he was dismissed?” Came Hardcase’s response.
“He was. I sent him to Y/Ns’ but he’s not here.” Rex replied, his voice measured.
“He told me he was staying on base.” You repeated.
“I know, little one.” Rex sat a little closer, putting a comforting arm around you. “When we landed, I told him to come straight here and wait for me. I even had Kix file a medical report giving him additional leave.” Rex redirected his attention to his comm. “Kix, have you seen him?”
“Not since you landed, sir. He came by asking for Downers. Said he just wanted to sleep.”
Rex’s expression darkened. “Did you give him any?”
“Negative. Just told him about the medical leave and sent him on his way.”
There was something about the way Rex’s expression tightened, the way in which his jaw was set a little too tense, that made your gut knot.
“Rex?” You asked him quietly.
“Nobody’s seen him anywhere on base?” Rex repeated.
“I can ask around, sir. But I don’t think he’s here.” Jesse said.
“Maybe he went to 79’s? Or the Lounge?” You suggested.
Rex nodded absently though you could tell he was still concerned. Regardless, he focused back on you. “What do you need?” He asked softly. “Have you eaten?”
“I…” You shook your head, unable to stop your next words. “..I need Echo back.”
You knew it didn’t help anyone to say it but you couldn’t stop yourself. Rex squeezed your shoulder gently though his eyes avoided your own.
“I know, cyar’ika. I know.”
“What – what happened?”
Rex sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. “They blew up our ship.” He said finally. “Echo was.. He was too close.”
You felt the tears start up fresh and you buried your face in your hands. Rex’s hand moved to your back and began a soothing rhythm.
At least it had been quick. Quick and painless, just like Rose -.
Each thought that raced through your brain tumbled over the next, remembering suddenly what you’d been doing before Fives called you.
“Rex,” You lifted your head, swiping at the tears again. “Rex, about – about what happened with -.”
“Hold on.” He cut you off, his communicator beeping at him again as he flicked it on. A little holo-projection appeared before the two of you, a single red blip beeping on the map.
“What is that?” You asked.
“Fives’ location. Er, his armor at least. There are trackers embedded in clone armor, so we can find our people if anyone goes MIA.” Rex answered, distracted, zooming in on the blip. “Looks like he’s right outside the Lounge.”
You frowned and looked a little closer. You recognized the topography, the layouts of the building, the way the blip flickered just slightly off the Lounge itself -.
“Rex.” You murmured. “He isn’t outside the Lounge, he’s above it.” You looked up at him, eyes alit with worry. “He’s on the roof. On the landing platform. I’m sure of it.”
You thought back to his call. The way his voice shook, how unsteady and yet oddly calm his demeanor was. The cadence of his breathing. The fear, the grief, the loss.
“We… We talked before.” You said quietly. “He said he couldn’t be the only one left.”
You had heard stories from your boys. They’d told you about Domino Squad. About how their brotherhood was the only thing that had kept them going through all the loss.
And now Fives was on the roof.
You and Rex both reached the same conclusion. He leapt to his feet, opening your front door and flying down the hall, you hot on his heels. There was no time for hesitance.
“Do you have a speeder?!” Rex shouted over his shoulder. He was darting down the stairs, too impatient to wait for a turbolift.
“Yes!” You shouted back, heart pounding in your chest. You held your communicator in one hand, taking the stairs two at a time as you frantically tried calling Fives. Rex was doing the same thing a few feet in front of you.
His feet hit the ground first, peeling across the hangar bay floor towards the docks. “Which one?!”
“Here!” You shouted back, grabbing your speeder. He swung one leg over and mounted it quickly. You hopped on behind him and held tight to his waist with one arm while your other one kept trying to call Fives. “Fives, pick up!! Answer me!”
A rare Coruscanti thunderstorm peeled across the horizon, rain smacking your face like bullets, despite the bit of cover Rex’s back gave you.
“Kix, how close are you to the Lounge?” Rex shouted into his own communicator, whizzing through traffic as fast as your speeder would go.
“Er, I’m still on base sir, is everything -.”
“Get to the lounge, now!” Rex ordered. “As fast as you can.”
“Yes sir.” Kix knew better than to question the Captain.
Rex gunned it, forcing you to hold on tighter.
You made it to the lounge in record time. Rex forced the speeder into a slide as he came to a stop right by the front doors. He wasted no time, bolting into the club and vaulting over the bar, booking it for the back stairs. You followed a few breaths behind, taking the stairs two at a time and throwing the doors to the roof open.
The rain battered the rooftop, the neon from surrounding buildings reflecting back onto the rain, but you barely noticed the rain. Your eyes were trained on Rex, his hands raised to the level of his shoulders, extended slightly in front of him in surrender. Ahead of him, gripping the railing of the loading dock with one hand and a blaster pistol in the other, was Fives.
Even from a distance, you could see the wild look in Fives’ eyes. It was easy to see the state of manic desperation he was experiencing. The rain and wind whipped around him, the old dock groaning and jerking in the storm.
“Get down from there!” You shouted, starting to move towards him. It was then that you realized the blaster pistol in his hand was trained on Rex. Then as you took a step forward, it moved to you instead.
“DON’T KARKING MOVE!” Fives shouted. Lightning cracked behind him, briefly illuminating all three of you.
Rex shifted immediately, pushing you behind his back with one hand and keeping the other extended. “Easy, soldier.” He called, blinking away the rain on his lashes. “Come down off that thing. Let’s talk, alright?”
“I’m not going to talk to you about a kriffin’ thing!” Fives shouted back, switching the blaster back to Rex. Whether it was rain or tears on his face, you couldn’t be sure. You thought it might have been both. “You made me leave him!”
“He was gone, Fives!” Rex said, shaking his head. “You know that.”
“No! Y-you left him to die!” Fives’ voice broke, the blaster shaking in his grip. His hair clung to his forehead as the rain continued its barrage against him.
Fives gripped the blaster tighter and straightened up slightly to square his shoulders. “I’m done taking orders.” He snarled. “I’m not going to be a pawn anymore! Not to you, not to anyone else.”
“Fives,” Rex warned and took another step forward. Fives pulled the blaster towards himself, driving it up under his chin instead.
“I can’t do this, sir.” He whimpered, pressing the barrel against his jaw. “I can’t.” His voice cracked as he spoke.
“Fives, think about what you’re doing!” Rex shouted, stepping forward again. “Stop!”
“I wish it had been you.” Fives gritted out, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Alright!” Rex threw his hands in the air again. “Alright, be angry at me! Hate me all you want, I can handle that! But don’t punish her like this.”
Fives looked at you for just a moment. His dark eyes swirled with a pained melancholy that broke your heart. HIs posture seemed to dip inwards. Rex continued.
“You get to be angry at me. Gods know I’d be angry too.” Rex called, inching closer to the platform. “But she’s right here, Fives. She’s watching you. Don’t make her watch this. This is between you and me, yeah? Don’t bring her into this.”
You inched around Rex, keeping your hands outstretched in front of you like Rex had been doing, reaching for Fives. “It’s okay.” You said, your own tears streaking your cheeks as you edged onto the platform with him. “It’s okay. Let’s just go home, okay? We can go home, Fives. We can just go home.”
You realized he was shaking, his breathing ragged as tears and rain soaked his face. He crumbled in on himself, the blaster lowering just slightly as you cupped his cheeks in your hands.
“Come on. Put it down. Let’s go home.”
Fives leaned into your touch and gripped the gun tighter.
“It’s not home anymore.”
He brought the blaster back under his chin and closed his eyes.
Your scream was lost in the sound of the thunder, wind whipping the platform once again and knocking you and Fives off-balance. His blaster went off, the stray bolt sailing up into the dark sky instead of into his head as the platform creaked dangerously. The sudden jolt forced Fives to his knees and the blaster clattered out of his hand. The metal dipped, the platform dropping at a sharp angle, threatening to fall entirely. You landed in a roll, tumbling down the slippery metal, your hands scrambling for purchase as the platform went out from under you. You heard Rex shout your name and a beat later a hand was on your bicep, hauling you off the ground and shoving you back towards the stable ground of the roof.
You connected with the hard plastoid of Rex’s armor, Fives scrambling off the platform right behind you as the entire thing collapsed moments after you’d landed on the roof. You listened to the groan of metal as it broke away from the rooftop, descending from the sky until it clattered against the ground below. The sound reverberated across the buildings around you.
For a while the three of you were frozen in place, squinting through the rain at the empty space where the landing platform had occupied only moments ago.
“Sir!” Kix’s voice echoed from the far-end of the rooftop, the medic’s boots skidding through the puddles and coming to a stop beside the three of you. “Are you alright? What the kriff happened?”
“We’re okay.” Rex managed, turning to Fives. The ARC Trooper’s sobs had returned but were reduced to little more than gasping breaths, trying to steady himself in the aftermath of what he’d almost done.
Rex wrapped an arm around both of you, pulling you both against his shoulders and closed his eyes. Relief.
TAG LIST: @fat-zygerrian @ladydiomede @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @threevie @cheesemachine44 @bubblyacey @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @loverofclones @starwarsgarbage @hockeyjedi13 @crazygirlwithasword @dar-manda-rjct @gotomarvelgal @baba-fett @whore4rex @bubblegumcat229