(d cl 0017 / engine rovel)
(d cl 0017 / engine rovel)
📷✨ by @rovelhg
Nu ştiu , nu mă înţeleg , ce
se-ntâmplă cu mine,ce-mi
doresc cu adevărat, de ce sunt aşa,
de ce mă schimb pe zi ce trece.
De ce acum sunt fericită, iar peste
doar o secundă lacrimile apar?!
De ce nu mă pot înţelege nici eu ?
De ce cred că nimeni nu mă
iubeşte? De ce simt că toţi mă
dezamăgesc? De ce? De ce ai plecat?
Mă aşteptam să pleci , dar nu cum
ai făcut-o acum.At âtea întrebări ,
dar prea puţine răspunsuri.Mă simt
de parcă nici nu aş exista..
I just wanted to say sorry. Sorry for being mean. Sorry for not appreciating what you did. Sorry for hanging up before you said you love me. Sorry for being so discreet about my thoughts. Sorry for not telling you the stuff you wanted to hear. Sorry for being too mature. Sorry for the times I wasted not talking while you wanted to know everything about me. Sorry for the love and time you wasted on me. Sorry for not being there when you needed me. Sorry for not believing you. Sorry for all the hate I gave to you. Sorry for not being any convincing when I said I love you. But I do. I wasted 3 years looking at you, observing you, adoring you, loving you until I can’t comprehend who’s right and who’s wrong. I know you weren’t ready for the both of us to evolve into something more, and it was so wrong because I thought I was ready. But I was far more inattentive than you are, and I pushed you. If only I could at least wait a little more longer for us to fall in love deeply, then maybe it could work out. I just want you to know, that no matter how shitty you are, you’re still the best. And I love you. I always will.
I miss the fact that you’re not a gentlemen. The way your eyes lit up the first time we met. I fell in love with your innocence, and I felt something I never felt in my short life. I miss the day you looked at me while I was eating like a pig, and you kept on staring anyway, and offered me a tissue. I miss the fact that you told me swearing is a turn off for girls, and I stopped swearing. I love the fact that you took my glasses off to see what I look like without it, and it felt right because it was you. I miss the fact that you’re such a talented singer/guitarist, you played my favorite songs effortlessly as if you knew I liked it. I miss it that you shouted at me and told me to believe in my vocal skills, and I kept on denying. I miss the way you bite your lips when you feel shy, and smile after that. I miss your voice, the voice that sung me lullabies and the sound of your guitar strumming through the phone. I miss it when you take candid pictures of me, which pissed me off and you chased me while I was running away. I miss the smell of your thick sweater when you hugged me, and I forgot what I was mad about. I miss the fact that I was always the mature one, despite the fact that I’m 2 years younger than you. You always try to act strong, even though you were nothing but a small fry who’s pretty much afraid of his own shadow. I miss the days you talked about Blink-182 and how gay you are when you talk about them haha you fangirl harder than I ever did in a million years! I miss the way you knew how to read my sign languages(even the dirty ones) and made out with me on the front seat, being the sneaky teenagers we were. The relationship was short, and I don’t feel your presence anymore. I guess you don’t remember me anymore, while I’m still hungover. Whatever it was that I felt for you, I never felt that way for anyone else. There are times when you hurt me, but it felt like true love. And if in some distant place in the future that will bump us into each other, I’ll smile at you and remember you as that piece of shit I treasured so badly that it might still hurts to see you. But to see you happy then would be enough for me, since I couldn’t really give all that to you. I wish your life would be full of guitars and bikinis and Malibu Rum, like you always wanted. You’re the best, and you always will be.
A beautiful decent into madness.