#sad caw Tumblr posts

  • paxpengvina-archive
    09.01.2022 - 1 week ago

    I dont fit in anywhere no matter how hard I try.

    #sad caw #maybe i should just stop trying
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    08.01.2022 - 1 week ago

    Hi brain, what if you DIDNT randomly get sad for no reason? Just a suggestion <3

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  • paxpengvina-archive
    06.01.2022 - 1 week ago

    Sometimes when I'm in a sad mood I think abt that ask I got ages ago that said how I make my blog an uncomfortable and too negative space and like. I know. I've been told before that I'm too depressing and that's why people don't want ro be friends with me. I know that's why no one ever really randomly sends me nice asks or checks up on me like other people. I don't know how to act normal. I'm so mentally ill and neglected and traumatized and I've never gotten any help for any of it and I don't know how to act like a normal person that people like. I wish I did because I want people to like me but no one ever stays because I'm too overwhelming

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  • paxpengvina-archive
    05.01.2022 - 1 week ago

    good mornign i literally do not feel better. which means im gonna play t.erraria all day. im gonna go to culvers which is good i guess.

    #caw of the void #idk. im so incredibly sad and alone. #i feel like nothing will get better :^) #its whatever
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    04.01.2022 - 2 weeks ago

    im suddenly. insecure abt my dynamic with oswald bc i make him so soft with me. like i KNOW its canon that he's a LOT gentler with people he likes and its not like i don't like or embrace his darker and violent Villain side, i LOVE that part of him, in fact, but. idk hhhhhh this is stupid :')

    #sad caw #what exactly am i insecure abt? who knows!!
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    04.01.2022 - 2 weeks ago

    depression is. very bad rn. hghghdfsg my brain is so fuzzy and im extremely sad :( Why.

    #sad caw #i keep thinking abt Specific things that upset me which is not helping #not. intentionally. my brain decided to hate me >:/
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    04.01.2022 - 2 weeks ago

    Thanks intrusive thoughts, that's really how I wanted to end the night!!

    #sad caw #i get this one All the Time its fucking awful im scared :( #im gonna. try to find a way to distract myself #but also im afraid that if i do then the bad thing will happen and it will be my fault :(
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    02.01.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    Me when my mom and Chris keep arguing in front of me 😩😩

    #sad caw #please i dont wanna go through more parental figure arguments #the time i heard her try to kick him out was the worst hands down tho
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    01.01.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    It's the fact that they both know im trans and still call me feminine nicknames and say shit like 'you don't want to be a mom?' like actually what the fuck is wrong with them. Fuck this. I thought Chris would be different, but I guess not.

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  • paxpengvina-archive
    30.12.2021 - 2 weeks ago

    Oh okay, so when my brother accidentally drops something it's "are you okay? Take a breath" but when I accidentally drop something it's "stop dropping things"

    #sad caw #ohhhh i understand now its bc i dont matter 🤩🤩
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    29.12.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    Called my mom out on being racist and she just ignored me. Idk what I expected.

    #sad caw #my mom 2 days ago 'im not racist!!' #i almost laughed
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    28.12.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    Oh yeah bc everything's alllllll about him and no one else right? Things only matter when they don't have to do with me, isn't that right? It's fine when my mom says she doesn't feel like a woman but God forbid I don't. Haha funny joke what if my mom is nonbinary but I know if that fucking happened she still wouldnt give one single fuck about me!!! No one does!!! Why can't i just accept that no one cares!!!

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  • paxpengvina-archive
    27.12.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    Just once. Just once I wish something in my life could go right. I'm not smart enough. I'm not trans enough. Even Chris I think doesn't believe me anymore. I feel like such a fuckup.

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  • paxpengvina-archive
    27.12.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    I'm so confused. And honestly I don't know what else to feel or what I should be feeling. My mom told me I can't go on T because we're on my dad's insurance and he'd be weird abt it. Which makes sense. But when I told my brother that's what she said he told me that our dad is at least trying to make an effort with him and probably wouldnt care. Idk how true that is.

    But the kicker is I just found out my mom has an appointment for a clinic for trans people that does HRT by where I live in a month. I feel sick. She's lying to me. Again. I'm shaking so hard, I don't understand why she doesn't care about me. What am I supposed to do if my brother goes on T and she still refuses to call me the right name and pronouns or even talk to me? I don't know what to do. I can't even confront her about this bc technically I was snooping.

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  • paxpengvina-archive
    26.12.2021 - 3 weeks ago

    I hate being ungrateful abt gifts bc I feel like it makes me sound stuck up, but it's hard to not be ungrateful when my sister got these really expensive looking mushroom mugs and a cool looking crystal for my brother, but all she got me was a box of pocky bc she 'didn't know what to get for me lol' like ok.

    #sad caw #i know im hard to shop for but its hard not to be disappointed over that #i looked so hard for a meaningful gift for her and she didnt put any effort in #im pretty sure all she got for me last year was pocky as well #at least i like everything else i got #last year i had to return the majority of my gifts bc it was all relating to things i dont like #and no one bothered to consult me on anything
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    19.12.2021 - 1 mont ago

    Sometimes I really wish I had even one friend. Someone who I could talk to snd wanted to talk to me. Idk.

    #caw of the void #is that really a lot to ask for? #i feel like i was meant to be alone sometimes and it makes me sad.
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    17.12.2021 - 1 mont ago

    I will now pretend I never said anything and that everything is a-okay

    #caw of the void #i feel like a fucking child bc all i can think is 'i want oswald' #im sad that im too tired to answer the asks from yesterday #idk. i feel like crying
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  • crow-with-a-knife
    17.12.2021 - 1 mont ago

    So to avoid being sad and lonely I have switched to listening to Penelope Scott before it hits so that I become lonely…and angry :D

    #caws of crow #it feels better than being sad #god I’d sell my soul to Penelope Scott
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    17.12.2021 - 1 mont ago

    If I have to hear my mom whine one more fucking time I WILL lose it

    #sad caw #it hurts my ears so bad #and its just annoying #like girl youre a 50 year old woman stop whining
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  • paxpengvina-archive
    08.12.2021 - 1 mont ago

    Oof.

    #saw someone who ships w oswald on the dash. substantial mood drop. #hate how it affect s me so much :( #its so easy for me to start feeling like jm not good enough for him and i hste it #sad caw
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